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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

"Never wake a sleeping baby" or "Feed every 4 hrs - wake them if you have to!!!!"

57 replies

Paranoid1stTimer · 06/04/2008 13:35

While in hospital i had one MW tell us to wake LO every 4 hrs and breast feed them for as long as they wanted to feed. We were to undress them, change their nappy, dress them again and feed. A couple of nights later, another MW advised to feed only on demand and "never wake a sleeping baby" or you would have hell to pay cos they wouldnt settle...

What is the general consensus on this one? Since we got home I have been feeding "on demand" which can be very often during the night and every 3-4 hrs during the day. LO sleeps lots during day but not well at night - we have been advised he is only 2 wk old so routines are not relevant now - to let him and us recover from the birth and just get to know him, feeding on demand.

OP posts:
Flame · 06/04/2008 13:36

Depends on the baby's weught gain tbh... some sleep too much and miss too many feeds etc

Flame · 06/04/2008 13:37

If possible though, don't wake to feed, just slide nipple/bottle into mouth and they feed in their sleep - tis maaaaaaaaaaaaaarvellous

DontDreamItBeIt · 06/04/2008 13:39

I'm in the never wake a sleeping baby camp, but I don't really do routines at all.

I would however wake a new baby if he was sleeping through at first or very poor feeder I think. This wasn't a problem for mine, though!

SenoraPostrophe · 06/04/2008 13:42

feed every 4 hours is very old fashioned advice. even if you don't want to demand feed, you should feed a newborn every 3 hours, I think.

but anyway. I used to demand feed, but wake them if they had slept for more than about 3 hours in the day, and then I'd just open the curtains rather than wake rudely. after about 4 weeks, I'd do that after about 2 hours.

also it helps if you keep lights low, and minimal talking / eye contact when they wake at night. you can do that even at 2 weeks (though don't expect results yet!)

CarGirl · 06/04/2008 13:47

I always woke them during the day (from 3 days oldish) so they were feeding every 3 hours. I never woke them at night. Mine were all healthy and good birthweights.

They all slept 7 til 7 early on too (even the fully bf ones)

At night I used to feed them on the single bed in their room (gave up on co-sleeping they slept and I didn't) laying down no lights on it was fab!

3andnomore · 06/04/2008 13:49

The way, I would take the 4 hourly advice is, that if a newborn Baby is not waking up at least 4 hourly, then to wake them...because they might be to sleepy from medication mum received at Birth, or they might be jaundice...
but other then that it is definately demand feeding....

morocco · 06/04/2008 13:55

as 3andnomore says, max of 4 hours between feeds for first few weeks at least, feeding on demand in general, is how I'd interpret that

terramum · 06/04/2008 13:55

They're both wrong tbh

Feeding only every four hours isn't enough for a newborn and never waking a sleeping baby can cause real problems if you have a very sleepy baby who doesn't feed very often.

You sound like you have it about right now you are home . Feeding "on demand" (ie offering the breast at least every 2-3 hours & whenever the baby shows signs of needing it...and if you aren't sure as the signs aren't very clear early on) is preferable as their stomachs are so small at this stage & your milk supply will be properly stimulated to keep up with your baby's needs.

These links might help/interest:
www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/newborn-nursing.html
www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/frequent-nursing.html
www.kellymom.com/bf/start/basics/hunger-cues.html

Original poster
Paranoid1stTimer · 06/04/2008 13:57

I never thought of that - the medication and everything I got during labour affecting the baby's sleep... He did sleep ALL day for the first day and I suppose he prob wouldnt have woken up unless he had been changed or undressed... Never thought of it like that. Thanks!!

Yeah - I will stick to demand feeding. I aint to great at routines either.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 06/04/2008 13:59

I also remember desperately trying to wake or dream feed baby in those early weeks to relieve the torture of engorement.......

gagarin · 06/04/2008 14:08

Certainly to establish breast feeding I think it's wise to wake a baby who's slept longer than 4 hours - but when breast feeding is establish feed on demand which may or may not turn out to be in the night!

So turning terramum's comment on it's head - both midwives were right.

I think what's mainly wrong is that we can't help looking for concrete and definitive answers from everyone we meet (friends, our mothers, docs etc) and then decide the people who give us answers that don't fit with our reality are fools!

Just try and remember it's ALL opinion which may or may not work for your LO - no one is absolutely wrong or absolutely right.

Your guesses are as good as anyone elses - and probably better!

tori32 · 06/04/2008 14:23

My personal view is that if you want a baby to go longer between feeds at night you need to wake them every 2-3 hours for a feed during the day. This is a) so they can get more food in during day hours and b) if they are awake more hours during the day there is more chance of them being tired at night.
I have done this with my now 11 day old baby. She has slept on a couple of occasions from 0000hrs to 0630hrs (though she was a big baby at 10lbs at birth) Mostly she goes from 0000hrs to 0330 and then sleeps until 0730ish. DD1 was left to her own devices as regards feeding on demand which resulted in a very tired Tori and dd1 until 6 wks when I did start following a routine.

Original poster
Paranoid1stTimer · 06/04/2008 16:22

Thanks for all the words of advice. I really appreciate it. I suppose it is down to me and LO and OH obviously) to get used to each other and work out what suits us best so I dont give up breast feeding before it is really established.

I just feel so alone and thick when it comes to all this - we have so much conflicting advice at this side as in laws dont want me breast feeding at all. They want to force me into formula feeding but I dont want to do this and it is really hard having these women on OH side of the family b!tching about me because I have chosed to breast feed MY baby!!! What business is it of theirs anyway?

So, thanks again - I really do thank you for giving whatever constructive advice you have on this one because I don't get any help in RL...

OP posts:
Fingerbobs · 06/04/2008 19:29

Just to say yes, I would wake him - my DS was very very sleepy and I had to wake him to feed him, usually every 3 hours. I felt very odd because I was expecting 'demand' feeding and there was essentially no demand, I ended up being in control of it and that wasn't at all how I thought it would be, but my DS was pretty titchy and stayed extremely sleepy so I would wake him.
And I'm so sorry about your unsupportive family - no doubt they won't shut up about how your baby would be sleeping through the night at 3 weeks if only you'd put him on a bottle but breastfeeding IS BEST and you're doing brilliantly

CrushWithEyeliner · 06/04/2008 19:33

I would never wake a sleeping baby - would you eat if someone woke you and shoved food in your mouth lol. Worked for me...

MrsMattie · 06/04/2008 19:35

With a healthy baby that's gaining weight I would always go along with 'Never wake a sleeping baby'.

alright · 06/04/2008 19:49

when i woke my 10 wk old for our first go at a dream feed, he took the food, woke up with a bolt, vomited all the milk up, burst into a massive cry then pooed and needed a whole new nappy and change of clothes. wouldnt go back to sleep after either. wont be doing that again!!

janek · 06/04/2008 20:15

i thought you never woke a sleeping baby, until my dd and i were rushed to hospital when she was 5 days old because she was on the way to dehydration. i obviously wasn't making that good a job of feeding her when she was awake, and she just slept all night and i let her.

i was told in hospital 'every 3 hours', which i stuck to religeously (sp) for a few days, till the visiting mw said that i could leave it 4-5 hours at night. i took this as gospel and left it 4.5 hours (that fitted in with feeding at virtually the same time every day too - 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 21, 01.30, 6 again. i even set an alarm to wake myself until she was 10 weeks old!!!

even when i stopped setting the alarm, she only had to flap about a bit (ie was not really awake) for me to awaken and feed her, but i was a little neurotic by that stage.

my mantra has always been 'when in doubt, feed them'. you can't overfeed a breastfed baby, and even if you think she only just ate, she might be hungry again...

what i am trying to say is, if you are sure you've fed your lo every 3 hours or so during the day and you're happy with what they've had (i think you know whether they've had enough or not) then you can risk leaving it a bit longer at night.

don't give up, you're doing really well, and it's better to be overcautious than like i was to begin with.

good luck!

jingleyjen · 06/04/2008 20:20

I would say that if you are demand feeding a newborn (which IMO you should) then if they have gone for 4 hours between feeds you definately should be waking them.
after the first few weeks if they sleep for 4 hours then brilliant but still wouldn't leave them for much longer as they really do have very little tummies and need feeding very frequently.
enjoy your baby routines and patterns develop as you get to know each other.

TheBlonde · 06/04/2008 20:23

I would wake them
My second child was very sleepy and I had to wake her a lot for feeding in the first few weeks

yomellamoHelly · 06/04/2008 20:43

My second slept for the first four months. I was always waking him, having to undress him to wake him again, changing his nappy to wake him again etc. etc. That said apart from the first couple of days he had no problem distinguishing between night and day and slept through from 6 weeks. So I feel it was the right thing by him.
Ds1 was all over the shop for months (I followed his lead - but as it progressively got worse I got more and more knackered).

yomellamoHelly · 06/04/2008 20:45

Bfing went much more easily second time too. Always seemed to have enough. Whereas ds1 was often dissatisfied / hungry.

tiktok · 06/04/2008 21:01

Paranoid, what a shame you have been made to feel confused and underconfident by such wrong, conflicting advice.

It is no good to feed to a schedule, whether it's 2, 3 or 4 hourly with a newborn...the job in the early days is to enable the baby to establish happy, effective breastfeeding, and this is not done by the clock.

A healthy, effectively feeding newborn will feed far more often than three or four hourly (mostly - occasionally, big bruisers start doing this) and that includes at night. Clock-led routines in the early days and weeks can be the death knell of breastfeeding - that's not how newborn and maternal physiology work. If you really want a clock-led routine, work up to it when you know bf is going well, when the baby is happy and thriving, and tell undermining in-laws to bugger off!!

lionbeast · 06/04/2008 21:09

hi paranoid, just wanted to say your doing really well you know, if i was you id forget the clock, and feed your lil baby whenever the baby needs or wants it, you will be able to get bf established much easier then and you will have a very happy baby.
just think of ot this way, for your baby its getting a lovely cuddle skin to skin contact and milk on tap, must be baby heaven!
infact what id do, is throw away your watch and clock!

don't worry about your inlaws, too right its none of there business, and by bf you can actually keep them from interferring with feeding as your the only one that cando it
evil
put your feet up and enjoy it.

MadamePlatypus · 07/04/2008 08:35

DS was quite sleepy at birth - went about 6 hours without a feed on day 3. As others have said - I think in this situation it is a good idea to wake for a feed. After the first week he woke up and it was a good few weeks before he did a 6 hour stretch again. He made up for his laid back start and during the day he fed atleast every 2 hours.

Also, with a slightly older baby (6 weeks?) if they have their day and night mixed up it may be a good idea to make sure they are feeding a bit more during the day. This isn't the same as a strict routine though.

DD fed constantly for the first 3 days, so no need to wake her.