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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

BFing during pregnancy - do I need to tell dr/midwife? Did you and what reactions did you get?

27 replies

theyoungvisiter · 01/04/2008 21:22

I have just found out I am pregnant and am about to book an appointment with the doctor.

I'm still bfing (DS is 22 months) and I'm worried that they will hassle me about it and try to persuade me to wean DS which I'm not ready to do. (If he self-weans then fine - but I don't want to push him if he's not ready).

Did you tell your dr/midwife and what reactions did you get? What arguments can I use if they criticise my decision to carry on?

OP posts:

MrsMattie · 01/04/2008 21:27

Unless they ask, I wouldn't offer the information. It's irrelevant isn't it? Surely? If you think it is relevant, tell them and be prepared to ignore any stupid remarks they come out with. Attitudes towards BF-ing can be amazingly backward in the health professions, sadly. There is absolutely nothing wrong with BF-ing at 22 months or during pregnancy, as you know yourself. Perhaps you could remind them that there are millionsof women all over the world doing exactly the same thing as we speak ?

CantSleepWontSleep · 01/04/2008 21:28

Mentioned it to my midwife (feeding 2.2 yo dd and 14 weeks pg). Think she made a note, but wouldn't say she reacted at all really, and certainly didn't try to persuade me to stop. Can't see why they would really.

fairy15 · 01/04/2008 21:39

i was still bf ds1 when i was pg & my midwife was fine if not happy that i was still bf. ds1 slowly came off it further down the pregnacy & when i spoke to the mw about this she said it was proberly because the milk tasted different as all the nutriens were going to the baby.

Original poster

theyoungvisiter · 01/04/2008 21:40

Well I don't think it's an issue (clearly or I wouln't be doing it!).

But the HV there made me worry when I went for DS's 1 year checkup. It somehow came up that I was still bfing and she made this big deal about how I would be very drained from all the nutrients I was pouring into DS and that I should take a good pre-natal supplement for at least six months before trying to conceive in case my body was nutritionally inadequate.

I didn't really think about it since but after I got the BFP it suddenly popped back into my head, the way you can't find enough to worry about when you are first pregnant.

(Shoudl clarify, I'm not particularly worried abotu being "drained" but about hearing the same stuff from everyone else)

OP posts:

moondog · 01/04/2008 21:41

What nutrients were those Fairy? Was a little bypass built to direct your milk directly from the nipple to the placenta??
God people talk some shite.

Noone can hassle you out of doing anything that you want to do YV, and breastfeeding while pg is totally normal and just fine to do.

moondog · 01/04/2008 21:42

And that next bit about being drained of nutrients is shite too.

FFS it's the biological norm!!!!

Original poster

theyoungvisiter · 01/04/2008 21:45

Moondog would you mind coming with me to the appointment ?

Grr, I hate these things anyway, I feel like I'm a circus animal jumping through hoops. I think this is just a focus for my general "let's not see medical personnel ever ever" feelings.

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StarlightMcKenzie · 01/04/2008 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BabiesEverywhere · 01/04/2008 21:47

When I told the doctor I was pregnant, she asked if I breastfed my daughter (20 months now), I said I still did and she reacted in shock saying "What now !!!"

The first midwife I meet was very supportive and the same question and answer got a "Good on you and don't feel you have to wean her if you are not ready, I attended a birth yesterday of a mother who nursed thoughout her pregnancy...have you heard about tandem feeding ?" Bless her

So far we are still nursing at 5 and a bit months pregnant and with a 20 month old toddler, we're just taking it day by day.

moondog · 01/04/2008 21:50

Visitor, visualising me smacking her around the back of the head as she fills in her prissly little notes.

Original poster

theyoungvisiter · 01/04/2008 21:54

Ok. Must visualiiiiiiiiiiiise...

It will certainly take my mind off having my blood pressure measured.

Thank you for all the wise words everyone. S/he'll probably just smile and nod (if it even comes up) and I'll have got keyed up for a fight for nothing!

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PortAndLemon · 01/04/2008 21:56

At my booking-in appointent midwife asked how I'd fed DS. I said breastfeeding and she asked how it had gone. I said pretty well and we were still going; she did look slighty surprised but said "Great!" in a really positive tone of voice. No one seemed bothered about it.

moondog · 01/04/2008 21:56

Visitor,I am a hot headed sort but am finally learning that most effective (and very disconcerting for those trying to persuade you of things)response is to smile politely and say NOTHING.

It makes you look mysterious and poised even if you are wound up/crapping yuorself inside.

Think Carla Bruni!

Original poster

theyoungvisiter · 01/04/2008 21:58

How true. Do I have to marry Nicolas Sarkozy though?

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Smithy · 01/04/2008 21:58

I breastfed whilst pregnant with ds2 and tandem fed both boys (22 months between them) until their 3rd birthdays. No issues, apart from the space available for ds1 to snuggle on whilst feeding!

moondog · 01/04/2008 21:58

Oh ignore that part.

Original poster

theyoungvisiter · 01/04/2008 22:00

thank you Smithy, P&L and everyone - this is all so comforting.

I'm sure they'll be lovely in fact - there are a few old battleaxes at our surgery but most of the staff are really great so I don't know why I'm worrying.

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emma1977 · 01/04/2008 22:04

I don't see a problem with your breastfeeding arrangement as long as you are all happy, healthy and thriving!

Sadly, I so rarely meet any patients who chose to breastfeed. I would probably fall off my chair in pleasant surprise if I met you!

policywonk · 01/04/2008 22:05

Hello YV and congratulations!

I was in this position when I got pregnant with DS2. My community midwife didn't bat an eyelid. However, there are a lot of people in the NHS who seem to think that bfing while pregnant is disadvantageous to the foetus - it's luck of the draw whether you get a pro-tandem-feeding health professional or not I suppose. My (otherwise lovely) midwife at DS2's birth made a big deal over my placenta being infarcted, and said it was prob. because I had been feeding while pregnant.

Get hold of Hilary Flowers' Adventures in Tandem Feeding (book) - it's fab (lots about pregnancy as well as tandem feeding) and contains a lot of ammunition, should you need it.

Original poster

theyoungvisiter · 01/04/2008 22:08

Thank you PW!

You are the first person to have congratulated me as I haven't told anyone yet apart from this thread! (well DH knows but he didn't say "congratulations" just hugged me)

The book sounds great - might sidle over to amazon this evening.

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policywonk · 01/04/2008 22:11

load of meanies on this thread, not congratulating you...

Is this your second then?

Yes, that Flowers book is really magic. I ended up weaning DS1 when I was five months' pregnant (another story), but that book was an absolute mine of information.

Original poster

theyoungvisiter · 01/04/2008 22:18

yes second. Hopefully. Touch wood. I'm sure it will be fine but I still feel a bit eek about it all if you know what I mean.

(please take a pat on the back for your impeccable manners PW Though to be fair no-one on this thread knew that it was my "coming out")

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policywonk · 01/04/2008 22:23

Ah right - early days. I'm sure it will all be fine! Lovely news

Are you still in Sussex? I had both of mine at Haywards Heath, but I think that unit has been closed now.

mummypig · 01/04/2008 22:23

hi there can I offer you my congratulations too?

I am currently about 6 months pg with ds3 and ds2 was still feeding once a day up to a month or so ago but he seems to be in the process of weaning... he occasionally asks in the morning but hardly stays on for any time. Also it feels different iyswim, so I am not sure if he's really getting any milk, but happy to leave it up to him to decide when he's really stopped. In a way I am sad as I was kind of looking forward to tandem feeding . Also when I first got pregnant I couldn't imagine him wanting to stop bf so I just assumed he would be still going after 9 more months. He is 3 1/2 now though so a bit older than your ds.

Anyway unless you are directly asked I don't see any reason to bring it up. I don't think I have even mentioned it to my very pro-breastfeeding independent midwife, because it just doesn't seem terribly relevant to how my pregnancy is going.

Policywonk did you actively wean ds1 when 5m pg or did he choose to, and wd the Flowers book still be relevant in my situation? I thought about getting it but haven't done so yet, and it doesn't seem so important now if ds2 is stopping of his own accord. But I do wonder if he will change his mind when he sees the baby feeding so much!

Original poster

theyoungvisiter · 01/04/2008 22:27

thank you mp! I think you are right - I will only bring it up if asked. Otherwise I don't think it's particularly relevant so who cares.

PW, we're up in London at the moment. We were looking to move back down last year but it didn't happen so I think we might stay here for the moment. I have heard nice things about HH and not such nice things about the various Brighton hospitals so not sure whether I am better off here or not!

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