Demand feeding past a year old?

[Whitty]

Hi, I have an 11 month old, who, yes, is still breastfed. He has many bf's through the day and also at night rolled eyes!

It seems lately that he has started to have a lot more feeds, he can feed 3 or 4 times within 20/30 mins or so, so if I'm out and about its a bit, well not necessarily awkward, but kind of, pop it out, then in, and ooh, out again, and in etc.....I was at my Mums today and baby just couldn't make up his mind, so it was a bit awkward. (Not due to feeding in front of her or anything, just like lunch was ready, then my 3 year old needed me....etc) He was far easier to feed when he was tiny!

He always wants to feed more when we go to places we don't visit that often and also new places, like he needs the comfort or something.

I just wondered if the majority of bf'ers still demand feed past a year old, or cut it down slightly, and if so, how did you do it? He signs for milk so I don't feel its fair to refuse. He loves his boob, and if I have to do something else sometimes after he has signed, before I feed him, he throws his arms about!!!! He won't wait and can't see him stopping anytime soon, so I think I will be ready to stop before him

I have a friend who stopped through the night and daytime feeds at 12 months, and just fed first thing in morning and bedtime, from then to 24 months, and a lot of posts I read from mums feeding older babies say they are on only a few feeds a day or just bedtime etc. Just wondered what peoples thoughts were on this?
Have any of you fed on demand past 12 months, and if not how did you stop them? Sorry if this is a bit jumbled, its how I feel at the mo!
(I fed ds1 till 8 months, so this is new to me.)
Thanks mners
x

hiya, I haven't bf a baby past 5 months so far, though I plan to bf this one til he self weans.
i know quite a lot of people who are still demand feeding toddlers and there are ways round what you're describing.
have you tried distracting him if it isn't a good time?
or say to him, in a moment, I just have to do x,y,z and then go and do it and then wait until he asks again
it's ok to say no to him sometimes as well, just as you would if it was anything else that wasn't appropriate at that moment in time. and you can still maintain your lovely breastfeeding relationship with him.

i b-fed my dd on demand for 18 months. she went to nursery for 2 days a week from 7.5 months & simply fed (a lot ) as normal the rest of the time. she co-slept too (still does), & spent most the night feeding. it was knackering but i was very glad i did it. i stopped more than a year ago & she is still pretty obsessed with my boobs - likes to stroke them.... we stopped cold turkey in the end, and it was hard for a day or so (and my boobs were agony), but she stopped asking for it quickly. hth.

hi whitty, I posted something slightly similar to this the other day on the weaning thread.

my ds is also 11m and bf's sometimes 3-4x a night, usually only a couple times during the day. He's the opposite of yours - won't feed if there's something new to look at, even if it's past lunchtime - been like that since he was 4m!

several mums on my thread said their lo's started dropping feeds a lot when they hit 13m. guess we'll see about that, huh?

Thanks fwoman, he isn't an easily distracted baby though! I've tried! Me and my 3 year old and baby, generally most nights have a bath together, and its getting really difficult, as he just wants to be on there for the whole time! (So I think I will have to bath when they are in bed soon!!!) I know thats a bit far fetched cos I'm naked and he can see them in all their glory and wants them NOW!!! But generally that is what he is like most of the time at the moment.

Is it normal for older babies to go through this at this age and do they then calm down does anyone know?

I carried on demand feeding until he was nearer 2 as it suited us better
I felt he used it for comfort as well as nutrition and that it was good to give him that
I think the year between 1 and 2 is a big challenge for most children (and parents!) and that bfing can provide a big help in calming and reassuring a frustrated / tired / frazzled child

My DD is 19 months old and whilst we normally breastfed on demand, I occassionally distract her with raisons if I want to put off a nursing session.

Frequency wise, she nursed a lot more than other children of her age, often 5/6 times a day until quite recently. Now I am pregnant, she has dropped down to 2/3 nursing a day.

and yes I think it is quite natural for many children and yes they do calm down

dd2 is nearly one and still pretty much demand fed. She doesn't seem that interested during the day- sometimes only 2 or 3 feeds, but I notice if she's tired and fancies a quick cat nap or comfort she likes a feed while doing so.

Night times are bad. We cosleep to maximise my time in bed but I think its at least every 2 hours. I'm trying to reduce this as I'm feeling its too much now so I'm trying to pat her, sing to her, etc to space the feeds out a bit and hopefully get her to sleep other ways.

well you know when they were little everyone said "growth spurt"? I reckon my ds's recent surge in feeding was a growth spurt.

but yours sounds more like it's emotional/comfort - maybe this is just part of his separation anxiety phase? don't know about your ds but mine is permanently attached to my leg or being carried, maybe yours is going for the boob as part of that process?

i introduced a few rules around that stage, mainly to my advantage. i am fair game when at computer or on sofa but otherwise not, must be asked to go to chair.

Hoxton chick, I actually leave baby with my MIL for a few hours each week, and she gives him a bottle of formula then (was ebm up till around 7 months, but was getting difficult to express what he needed by that age) and she says he is absolutely fine. He doesn't look for me, or cry or anything, but if he is at home with my hubby, he crawls around looking for me all the time!

When you stopped did your baby cry when they couldn't have milk? And how did you settle her in bed and through the night?

I hear you bobblehead, we co-sleep and my ds feeds like that too. I thought I'd try "other" ways of settling - found he'd go back to sleep, then wake in 1/2 hour quite sure that he really did want a feed this time!

sorry whitty I'll get orf your thread now

I am still to some extent demand feeding my nearly 3yo (as well as my 6mo). He asks for milk when he wakes up, before he goes to bed and anything between 0 and about 6 times in the day. Sometimes, if he asks, I will say 'not now' and give a reason, which he usually accepts (that is a bonus to demand feeding at this age). I also sometimes ask him to finish if he goes on feeding for a long time.

i think we just distracted her a lot whitty, it's all a blur . dp was keen for me to stop feeding so i made sure he was very involved in it. she was used to seeing her big brother have beakers of milk so was keen to be like him. she had a beaker of milk in bed & i wore a top! i think i just lay next to her & stroked her & sang to her to get to sleep. still my preferred method & she's 2.8 now!

No worries phd!
So pleased that people have responded actually, I only posted on here a few times, generally use it like an agony aunt service lol!!!

Berolina, I would love to be still feeding my 3 year old as it would solve so many other probs at the mo....but hey.

To those that have said about settling their babies in other ways I just can't do that, as he honestly would scream for England (and Europe....) and I can't let everyone else wake up too! Do you just let them cry whilst you cuddle etc?

HoxtonC, my hubby has also started to make sounds re stopping which is possibly why I'm on this line of thinking. He has acknowledged that he will definately nurse past his first birthday, but not sure how keen he is re me feeding much past 18 months (and I too may not want to then but I don't know really)

I'm now thinking from some of the posts that he may calm down within the next 6 months....

But then I've been thinking that since 3 months lol!!!

OOoh, didn't realise the asterisks would make it go bold doh....., just meant to use them like you would your fingers like bunny ear things to 'highlight' a word or whatever it is, god I'm rambling bout nuffink.....sorry...

whitty it sounds really fine and i don't see why you should stop. make yourselves happy.

me stopping at 18 months was a compromise with dp - he would have been happy with a year. i would probably still be feeding now.... interestingly, i only b-fed ds for 6 months & he isn't at obsessed by my boobs in the way dd is. who knows!

I'm still demand feeding (ie offering bm as well as responding to his requests for feeds) my 3.5yr old, although he only feeds once every few days now, usually in the evening before bedtime. He still needs me or DH or other close family members to settle him to sleep & generally we get him ready when he starts looking tired & then he sits on our laps for a cuddle while we watch tv/use the PC until he drops off & then we carry him to his bed. Very recently though we have had a couple of occasions where he has been happy to be put in bed & fall asleep on his own.....it will be while before we can do that all the time...but we are happy to go at his pace.

Over the last couple of years his bm intake has varied an awful lot - some days he would feed more than a newborn and others I would be convinced he was weaning...only for him to go back to feeding more often again. I've always wanted to let him lead the weaning so have gradually relaxed into these changes & responded to his needs as far as I could at the time. My DH is happy for us to carry on bfing, even if it is only occasionally as he knows it's good for us both (I've talked to him a LOT over the past few years about all aspects of bfing so he is a bit of a lactivist himself now ). What are your DH's concerns about you carrying on with BFing?

I plan to continue to feed on request as long as ds2 wants, also planning baby number 3 in a years time so will tandem them.

Terramum, he just said to me the other day that he thinks it might look weird when he gets a bit older and won't really like to see it. He has got better though, at first he told me I was only feeding him till 6 months! We spoke about it quite casually and I know he would never force me to or anything, he sticks up for me a lot when feeding in front of family etc, think he just is curious or something to know when I will finish? I have told him that when I do he will have to do a lot of work at bedtime!

I can understand his concerns Whitty as it IS unusual to see older children breastfeeding (not because older children DON'T breastfeed but because people tend to do it in private because of others' reactions). So when we think in cold blood about an older child feeding it might seems strange or uncomfortable to us. However older children don't get that way all of a sudden - they aren't a baby one day and a 3 year old the next - it happens very gradually and at the time seems like a natural and normal thing. He might surprise himself and become a proponent for extended feeding when he sees the benefits it has for your family - all of you!

just gettin on here

I still demand feed DD (she's 17 months, I'm 22 weeks pregnant). She's stopped feeding at night mostly - although she still thinks it's good to wake at 5am

The 'do I want to feed or not' thing tends to be because the world is so bloody interesting, lots of things to look at and hey mums boobs are always there to come back to right? It's bloody irritating and DD went through this stage but is now only wanting to feed when she really does want to nurse for at least five minutes (often at inopportune times).

Good for you for still nursing Whitty.