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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

I fed in public today for the first time!

53 replies

merrykittymas · 20/12/2004 17:02

DD is 5 months and I fed her totally in public for teh first time, usually I use a mother and baby room or the car but today I was really brave and fed her in a crowded restaurant whilst having a meal with a friend. The children on the next day had a stare and their mother said "it's only the baby having it's lunch" and I did get a few stares from adults but I stared back as if to say "problem?" Wasn't as if I had a boob falpping about you couldn't even see any flesh. I feel kind of proud of myself now.

OP posts:
singsong · 21/12/2004 09:53

Awenamanger I have that problem too, milk sprays everywhere when ds gets distracted and decides he wants to turn his head to look the other way. I always keep a muslin at the ready now, no problem with BF in public but spraying them is a different matter!

root · 21/12/2004 11:04

Yes, milk fountains can be a problem! Especially as DS has developed a strange habit of stopping to look over his shoulder whilst feeding.

OK, so we all bf in public but has anyone expressed milk with a hand pump in the back of the car driving up the M4?

Er...just me then...

Pidge · 21/12/2004 11:10

root - I've done that too - well not on the M4 - but expressing in the car on the way back from Glyndebourne!

Feeding in public is great once you've mastered it - and the more it's done, the more it'll not even cause a batted eyelid. Well done merrykittymas!

DingDongDinosaurOnHigh · 21/12/2004 11:24

Well done merrykittymas! I feel very comfortable about feeding DS3 in public here in London - have fed him on a very crowded S2 bus, and in Tescos, to name but two! Am much less confident about it when we are away from the Big Smoke, and I have to say that when visiting the Irish relatives for New Year I will be closeting myself away for feeding sessions - it's all a bit different over there (at least in my family anyway, don't know whether they're the exception or the rule!).

FlosstyTheSnowman · 21/12/2004 17:43

I did it for the first time on the steps at covent garden a couple of weeks ago! Went to M and S as they normally have mother and baby rooms but it had apparently been vandalised . I didn't notice anyone looking either and would do it again! Also managed to feed him in starbucks without anything being said. Well done MK!!

jane313 · 21/12/2004 18:40

Its great when you do it you feel so much more confident. My first time was a pub garden whilst drinking a shandy and eating a thai green curry, my baby only got a few spots on him!

ItllBeLonelymumThisChristmas · 21/12/2004 18:43

I remember feeding my first child when he was 6 weeks old in a semi public place, ie my mums and dads garden when they were having a party. I felt quite comfortable but there was a video of the occasion and every time I see it, I am mortified by how much flesh I have on display! Still, I must be a closet exhibitionist because it never stopped my feeding him and my other children exactly where and when I wanted to.

BikerChick · 21/12/2004 21:05

I'm a new mum, my daughter is now 7 1/2 weeks old and was breastfed exclusively for 6 weeks. I've always been quite active and having a baby hasn't really stopped that - she is a very good baby, not particularly demanding and I found breastfeeding worked brilliantly for us. In the first week or so it was a case of all clothes above the waist must be removed and a whole mountain of cushions and pillows be strategically placed in order that I could latch my daughter on and feed her successfully.... I soon realised that this was not going to be best practice if I ever wanted to go out anywhere, and almost overnight perfected the technique of opening a couple of buttons or lifting the t-shirt enough to open the feeding bra, placing baby inside clothing and that was that. I fed her in the pub, in a lay-by whilst sat in the car, a very busy car park in a town centre, friends' houses - anywhere really - I was (and still am) feeding on demand and just got on with it. My partner was a bit concerned at first that some of his friends might try to "get off" on catching a glimpse of nipple when I was feeding, but in honesty, most of them didn't even realise what I was doing - they just thought I was having a cuddle with baby - that is until she came up for wind, by which time it was too late for them or me to be embarrassed about it, and at the end of te day it is a completely natural thing to do and I wish I was still able to breast feed exclusively. As it is, a nasty case of food poisoning from my local pub put paid to that. As soon as I stopped feeding her, my milk stopped coming, despite expressing every 2 - 4 hours, and now all I can manage is a very thin watery 3-4oz of expressed milk a day and perhaps one feed during the night. I'm very lucky that my daughter accepts formula milk readily and is happy to take it from the bottle with no problems.

I would like to suggest to all new mums that they give breast feeding a chance as I think it has really helped me feel close to my baby - especially at night, however, it doesn't work for everyone, and my partner has said how lovely it is that he can take over when necessary now without having to rely on me to provide all the feeds. It is a bit of a bind, what with all the paraphenalia attached to bottle feeding and all, what with the bulky tins and the sterilizing and all the counting out scoops; but at the end of the day, my daughter is happy, contented and putting on weight, so who am I to complain? She sleeps 6-8 hours most nights, and at the moment, usually goes down for at least one 3-4 hour sleep through the day. I recognise how lucky I am in that I have had only two nights of very little sleep since she was born meaning that I am still on top of the housework and the shopping etc, but also know that I'm not rushing into having a 2nd baby - you never get two the same do you??!!

xmashampermunker · 21/12/2004 21:11

Hi BikerChick

If you wanted to keep breastfeeding, I'm sure you could - perhaps Tiktok could advise you? You could try ringing one of the breastfeeding support lines and asking one of the counsellors the best way to go forward.

One thing to note is that the amount you can express is no indicator of how much milk you are producing - if you let your baby nurse often, I'm sure you'll build your supply back up again.

It sounds like you had a really good breastfeeding experience and it sounds like you want to continue it - if I have got this wrong, then sorry! xxx

merrykittymas · 22/12/2004 10:29

I've expressed in a car park in the scottish borders DD was sound asleep and I was so engorged it was hurting so I knocked off a few ounces into a plastic cup feel horrible throwing away my milk but the relief was bliss.

The first time my brother met DD she was feeding he didn't realise walked over to say hello then nearly fainted he wouldn't even come in the same room but once he realised I'm not sitting there with a boob flapping in the wind he was fine. I think it tells a story that I'm the first woman he's seen BF at age 26.

OP posts:
AbsoluteBeginner · 22/12/2004 10:42

Personally I'm offended when I see tiny newborn babies out in public with a horrible bottle of yucky formula stuck in their gobs - I find that tragic. Come on you breastfeeders! We've got to reclaim those streets, cafes and shopping centres! This thread has really cheered me up.
I did my best to BF my daughter in public as much as I could -- I managed the paddock at Windsor Races and the pub before the football - but even though I'm a militant breastfeeder, I often found it awkward/embarrassing. Even out shopping when surrounded by other mums and babes I always seemed to be the only one breastfeeding - everyone else had bottles. Would have been great to have encountered one of you lot who was doing it as well.

singsong · 22/12/2004 10:46

Merrykittymas my SIL?s dh was like that when I was in hospital after ds was born. SIL came to visit and I was feeding she went to fetch her dh and he said he?d wait outside until I?d finished. It was just because he thought I might have been embarrassed/not wanted him to come in though. He?s fine with it now, I flop my boob out in front of him all the time now.

singsong · 22/12/2004 10:47

I say flop my boob out all the time now, I do of course mean only when I?m going to feed ds, not for general viewing!!!

Rogue · 22/12/2004 10:53

people do stare but hey say to them what!!! you not seen a baby nurse before!!! makes them feel oooo about inch tall and they go a lovely shade of red! you keep doing it, its the best thing you will ever do and believe me you will miss it when they stop nursing.
well done
rogue
xxxx

Rogue · 22/12/2004 10:59

AbsoluteBeginner ... i totally agree with you...try feeding in tescos while still going about getting the shopping.!!! made people look i just looked back and asked prefer a screaming baby would you???
we are given breasts for a reason and no they are not for the hubby they are to provide the best thing a mother can give her child. so much better than bottles and easier to get the off when the time comes.

root · 22/12/2004 13:04

turning this thread on it's head, i actually feel awkward giving DS a bottle in public! even though it's only ever expressed BM, i don't want people thinking i give him formula!

merrykittymas · 22/12/2004 15:45

It's weird it's ok for Jordan or some other celeb to flash their boobs 10 to the dozen but if we want to discreetly use them as nature intended we feel embarrassed.

I think part of it is our culture in that boobs are seen as sexual and a bit carry on naughty MIL asked if I was still feeding and when I said yes she said I would have DD on one and DP on the other cos he would feel left out!

yuck I think DP will cope knowing my boobs are feeding his daughter with the best thing there is.

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 22/12/2004 15:53

I too think that BF in public helps remind people that BF is normal. I've breastfed everywhere, although I can breastfeed a baby in my front carrier, so you nobody can tell.

I've also expressed milk in the back of a fire engine going through central London. That felt a bit weird.

jane313 · 22/12/2004 17:46

bikerchick I was told that you could feed through food poisoning (I did and my son was not affected). Just in case you have another one.

tiktok · 22/12/2004 18:07

bikerchick, you could indeed still go back to bf if you wanted. Expressing is no indicator of what the baby can get out, and breastmilk always looks watery - you were prob only expressing the foremilk which is indeed wateryer...no reason why food poisoning would have any effect on the quality of your milk.

It's up to you

But it is possible

Pagan · 23/12/2004 13:49

Never had any problems but would have given a Paddington Hard Stare to anyone who dared criticise - more power to your boobies and well done!

KateandtheElves · 23/12/2004 13:59

I nursed my daughter for 17 months, and as she was a constant nurser I breastfed her about a million times in public. This was in the Northeastern US, the Southern US and England, and I never had a single stare or rude comment. On many of those occasions I also had an alcoholic drink in the other hand! I'm always amazed when people say they have had bad experiences.

Actually once I stopped it was nice to be able to order something from a menu that required a knife and fork to eat. I had gotten so used to ordering menu items just because I could eat them with one hand (as I knew I would be nursing at some point during the meal).

Pip · 23/12/2004 20:18

I'm still feeding my second son, 8 months old (fed my first for 12 months) and always fed in public - despite both sons being REALLY noisy feeders - lots of gulping sounds! Absolutely no chance of being discreet at all! We've just moved to northern Spain and I haven't seen anyone breastfeed here at all. I must admit it does make me feel awkward about feeding in public, although I should just get on with it. Apparently Spain has the lowest number of breastfeeding mothers in Europe which is really sad.

NotQuiteCockney · 24/12/2004 07:28

It's funny, I'm perfectly comfortable BF in public in London, or in Canada. But in the rest of the UK, like say, a motorway services, I feel all weird. I guess because I feel foreign there?

Nobody has ever dared say anything to me, or even give me a look. But I've got a bit of a tough-girl haircut, which generally reduces hassle, anyway.

highlander · 26/12/2004 18:34

I fed DS a lot in public when he was born but when he reached about 10wks he suddenly became VERY distracted by the exciting world around him! At home we have to have quiet - he even gets excited by the sound of DH's voice. Feeding outside the home is a nightmare now as he fusses like mad and won't take on a full feed which has a knock-on effect for his routine for the rest of the day. Poo