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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Sitting here in tears... Being urged to FF top-ups...

83 replies

angel1976 · 13/03/2008 11:28

Hi,

I posted a few days again with regards to my DS' weight gain issue. Anyway, we went to a bf group yesterday, which was immensely helpful and DS was diagnosed with TT and a referral to get it snipped next Tuesday (fingers crossed!). In the meantime, he is getting fussier and fussier and it's driving me to tears...

Everything was fine up till Monday. Then Monday, he got weighed at the baby clinic and everything fell apart... He hasn't put on that much weight (9% to 2%) and he also seem to have started a growth spurt at the same time so for the last few days, he's either fussing or feeding all the time.

For example, he's been up and feeding on and off since 2am and finally went to sleep in a sling on DH at 11am! I was asked by the bf counsellor to express and to give him EBM top-ups. This morning, I only got a measly 5ml but he was happy to lap it up (cup-feeding him..). I KNOW in my heart that he is hungry and not getting satisfied. In the first two weeks, I can easily tell when he's had his fill (when he gets that 'drunk' look and pretty much passes out!). He hasn't had that 'dazed' look for a few days now...

I'm at the end of my tether and now being urged to do FF top-ups by DH and also the inlaws as they can see how stressed I am by the whole situation not to mention feeling like a complete failure of a mother... And I am slightly losing the plot a bit as I am now thinking how bad can it be if I just give him a capful of FF after his next BF? I don't know how I am going to get through the next 5 days (till the snip!). The HV is coming tomorrow for the first time (when DS will be 20 ays old!) and I now think DS has lost weight since Monday... I don't know what else to do!

OP posts:

tiktok · 14/03/2008 10:33

angel, no one is going to shoot you down in flames for being a responsive mum wanting to keep her baby happy.....as if!!!!

You don't need to justify anything to anyone.

You can return to full breastfeeding if this is what you want - one thing you need to avoid if you want to do this is giving the expressed milk instead of a breastfeed, which is what you did at 3 am.

The expressing you did when you gave the formula made sure your body 'thought' the baby was having breastmilk, and this is good for your supply. But giving the expressed breastmilk instead of a direct breastfeed doesn't give this message - only removal of milk from the breasts gives the message 'make more'.

This is not to criticise you (!) but to ensure you know how things work.

Hope that's ok and good luck for today!

StealthPolarBear · 14/03/2008 11:22

yeah stick the expressed milk in the freezer for when your LO is older and you can go out without her from time to time

wobbegong · 14/03/2008 11:34

Tiktok gives great advice, and in fact mn gave me very good advice when I was having bf problems earlier this year.

I have to add that bf is not the be-all and end-all. Formula probably saved me from the funny farm, as I sat up all hours crying, feeding, expressing like a woman possessed, worrying, trying to soothe a clearly famished baby etc. This all had the opposite effect that bf is meant to have, in that it reduced my bonding with my baby and drove me to near PND. Mixed feeding is working for me (13 weeks). Of course bf is the ideal option healthwise and convenience (when you crack it!) and we should all try our best but please do not drive yourself to the dark place I went. As Tiktok says, you can return to full bf if this is what you want but (I would add) only you know what is feasible. Do not feel you will be judged/ shot down in flames/ guilty etc. Good luck today.

StarlightMcKenzie · 14/03/2008 12:25

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Original poster

angel1976 · 14/03/2008 13:32

Hi all,

Thanks for all your support... I really appreciate it. What happened last night was that I gave 2oz of formula at around 7.30pm and then expressed. LO woke up at 11, 2 and then 5 and I gave him bottles of EBM while expressing... I know that sounds mad but it saved me nursing all night and I had a better night's sleep last night than I had all week...

I felt much better this morning and have been bf-ing LO again. He has been exclusively bf with no problems though it means he is back to nursing on the hour again (I can cope with that during the day!). I've been expressing as well. My plan is to bf all day and if it comes to it and he is still hungry tonight, I'll give him bottles of EBM so I can have a saner night. I really was on the edge yesterday and for all it's worth, I feel better today and LO is not as restless.

The good news is that the health visitor came this morning and said I have to do what keeps all three of us sane. Also, LO now weighs 3340 grammes, which means he has put on 140 grammes since Monday despite all the issues we have had...

Thanks a million all. I do want to keep bf-ing but I guess I need to look out for myself too. I really hope yesterday was the worst day...

OP posts:

tiktok · 14/03/2008 15:10

angel, that weight gain is just fab - you would not expect any baby to gain more than that in 4 days and it is a great sign you are producing, and he is taking, vast amounts

Now....don't be downhearted if he doesn't keep up that same rate of weight gain, will ya?

StarlightMcKenzie · 14/03/2008 15:55

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wobbegong · 14/03/2008 18:05

well done angel. you sound v. sensible!

Original poster

angel1976 · 15/03/2008 10:08

Hiya,

Gave DS only one formula feed yesterday (while I expressed!) and he had two bottles of EBM in the middle of the night (while I expressed!) so I could get some sleep. Have a feeling this is what I am going to need to get through the next few days till his TT gets sorted! I'm putting him to my breast as much as possible but I will give him a bottle when he starts screaming the house down in hunger.

I need some tips of expressing! I can't seem to get more than 2oz (from both sides!) each time I express. Also, one breast (it has hurt from day one when DS started bf, bf counsellor says that's a sign of his TT as well) is really aching after expressing. It hurts in the nipple but I can't see any wounds. Also, that breast seems to always feel fuller and harder no matter how much I express (or try to!). Any advice?

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Original poster

angel1976 · 15/03/2008 10:08

Hiya,

OP posts:

kiskideesameanoldmother · 15/03/2008 10:23

is there a way you can get your hand on a double electric pump at short notice? i believe women find them more comfortable and quicker at removing milk than single electric or manuals.

that failing, have a go at hand expression. google 'marmet technique'

StarlightMcKenzie · 15/03/2008 18:38

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StarlightMcKenzie · 15/03/2008 18:41

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duomonstermum · 15/03/2008 19:42

i know it might sound wierd but i found expressing while sitting in a warm/hot bath did it for me. trying to wean DD off the boobs at the moment (she's 16mths with a full set of teeth and not shy about using them....) so it also eases the discomfort of full breasts. probably the only time they'll be so firm though hang in there. you're doing what you feel is best for you so you can't be doing anything "wrong"!!

Original poster

angel1976 · 15/03/2008 21:39

Hi,

Managed not to give DS formula today but have had to give him two bottles of EBM as it was again obvious he couldn't get enough from just pure bf. Am noticing that due to his TT, he can't really get a firm latch!

Only have 3 oz of EBM left and I have no idea if I will get through the night without formula... Wish me luck! Tuesday can't come soon enough.

OP posts:

StarlightMcKenzie · 15/03/2008 22:11

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Original poster

angel1976 · 16/03/2008 08:51

Thanks Starlight... He was feeding very slowly initially but seemed satisfied but since last Monday (bf counsellor says it sounds like a growth spurt...), he has been feeding constantly but not satisfied and screaming his head off in hunger. I feel sorry for him as he had been on my breast for like 3 hours before I caved and gave him formula for the first time on Thursday and he was instantly pacified... I don't think I can extend the feeds any longer, I am so knackered it's unbelieveable... I had to give him another FF top up last night just past midnight... But he seems to be okay so far today. I just need to make it to Tuesday and hopefully we will get the appointment to get his TT sorted! Thanks for your support.

OP posts:

wobbegong · 16/03/2008 11:35

Blimey Angel I am not surprised that you are knackered. IMHO it is not "caving in" to give formula after three hours; it is a good mum doing what she needs to do to feed her baby, and persevering as hard as she can to bf. Good luck with it all.

chipmonkey · 16/03/2008 13:30

Angel, I really think if you could get hold of a double pump it would make things lots easier. They can be hired as well. I'm not in the UK but I believe an organisation called Surestart provide them free for some people?

Original poster

angel1976 · 16/03/2008 17:17

Slowly losing the will to live... DS won't stop fussing. Put him on the breast as possible. Screamed in hunger at 3pm so gave him 3oz of EBM. Continued screaming so had another 1oz of EBM and 1oz of FF. He's obviously hungry! Between him feeding constantly and making it hard to know when to express, I'm at a loss. DH is well and truly fedup! Help! Don't know how I am going to make it to Tuesday!

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Original poster

angel1976 · 16/03/2008 17:17

OP posts:

chipmonkey · 16/03/2008 18:09

Angel, you poor thing! How about expressing every 3 hours and feeding him the EBM and then putting him to the breast after that? Dh could then help out a bit more with the feeds and ds would be less hungry. When ds3 was in SCBU I expressed every 3 hours and produced more than enough for him but he was a lot smaller than your ds

Original poster

angel1976 · 16/03/2008 19:16

Hi chipmonkey,

Will DS forget how to breastfeed if I do that? I am paranoid that that would happen... I've been toying with the idea of dong that until his snip on Tuesday but not sure if it is advisable as I am worried that DS would 'forget' how to feed!

OP posts:

chipmonkey · 16/03/2008 23:45

How old is your ds now, angel? I think if bf is long established he would be unlikely to forget, especially if you keep putting him to the breast after a bottle-feed of EBM. That way, he is still being put to the breast but it would take the stress out of it for him as he would be less hungry.

Original poster

angel1976 · 17/03/2008 20:21

Hi guys,

My DS got his tongue tie sorted today! I called the bf counsellor and it looked as though the appointment at King's wasn't going to happen tomorrow! There was no way I was waiting another week. In the telegraph article, the baby friendly initiative was mentioned in the comments and I found this:

Locations where tongue tie can be sorted

I called all the london hospitals and the consultant at St George's Hospital agreed to see me this afternoon if I could get there and tat my bf counsellor would fax over the referral. I got a (very expensive) cab ride there, got saw last but it doesn't matter cos my DS is no longer TT!

Please push for this if it's really important to you. I know if i waited another week, I would have given up bf! We came home, had some skin to skin and DS bf comfortably and went to sleep with no crying or top ups! Fingers crossed this is a sign of things to come!

Thanks for all your support! I know things might not be easy from now but I feel such a weight has been lifted from my shoulder now that DS is no longer TT.

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