How long would you breastfeed for, if you partner wasn't that keen on it?

[pelafina]

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In what way is he weird about it?

It sounds like your partner is the selfish one.

get him on here

we'll ask him about it

we'll be lovely to him, honest

FGS it's good for your ds, it's lovely for you -what's it got to do with dp? OK he might be a)jealous (some men consider them 'theirs') or b) cringy (some men are) but it's not got anyhting to do with him. It's between you and ds. You carry on if you want.

You are not selfish. Your DP is.

I don't know how you go about telling him constructively but he needs to grow up.

If you want to give up for any reason, then fine. But you should never feel pressured into doing so.

If you did give up for your partner, you may find the resentment drives a wedge in your relationship. So it's best to have it out with him and tell him you will stop breastfeeding when you and your baby are ready.

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My DP was ambivalent about it - wasn't weird but I think would have preferred I bottle fed. DS is now 10 months and I've just about stopped now but only because he's not that bothered about it any more. To be honest, if you and your son are both still enjoying it I would carry on.

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You are not being selfish P and congratulations for doing so well so far..

If it makes you feel good breastfeeding and you want to continue, perhaps you need to talk to your partner and tell him what you would like to do..

Why does he feel weird about it - has he said anything, done anything or is it just perhaps something you have wrongly attributed to him???

14 months so far and counting.

stopping bfing wont necessarily mean you feel like having sex again. Lots of people go off sex after having a baby from tiredness and change of routine, whether the baby is bf or ff.

It's awful that you have stopped going out because of how he makes you feel. I am for you.

I think lack of libido is caused by the lack of sleep/time and I don't think formula will wave a magic wand tbh

personally I had had enough of b/f at about the 6 month mark so gave up then but that was my choice, not one forced on me

Sorry cross post !

I hope you don't get strong armed into doing anything you don't really want to do

Sounds as if you have already talked about it, pelafina, and got nowhere.

Obv, it has got something to do with him as the health of his son is presumably important to him, and he has a right to express a view on this...trouble is, his view is that there is no health impact and it doesn't matter. It also has got something to do with him because your bf relationship is important to you and he should take your well-being and your feelimgs seriously.

His discomfort is a feeling, too, of course, but it should not weigh as heavily as your own desire to fulfill your and your son's needs.

His discomfort can be dealt with - he's grown up, he knows there's nothing wrong with bf, and he knows all his son is doing is eating and drinking.

Your feelings if you were 'made' to stop would be less easy to overcome. Resentment, disappointment, sadness, regret, anger....they're a lot deeper than momentary embarassment.

Time to talk again??

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I think BF is not really the issue here.

This is a common situation. Your partner wants you back and you are still completely wrapped up in your baby. DHs and DPs have a hard time adjusting to this new situation.

TBH I think most of us women make the common mistake of not acknowledging that.
I think it's too easy to just say, Oh he's being selfish and stay in the comfort zone.

So I would suggest trying to concentrate on the six months deadline as a marker for you to get some of your groove back into the adult relationship rather than stopping BF.

Wether you BF or bottle feed won't change much unless you decide to put yourself in a different frame of mind and start snapping out of the "babymoon".

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I did not breastfeed so forgive me if I am missing something here, why is your partner weird with it? That is what they are for after all.

DH was a bit about me bfing (and co-sleeping) after about 6 months, but has no probs with it now DS is in his own bed and sleeping through, so it was really more the not having own bed and being woken up lots that was the problem. I thin kyou need to find out exactly what the issues are (and there are prob quite a few of them) and deal with them WITHOUT feeling pressured to stop bf.

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