Mum asked to leave shopping centre for bfing

[TheWonderingLactivist]

Here

I've name changed as this is my local area. This woman is a friend of a friend, I met her last night and I am incensed for her. She's great, the first thing she did was contact the press. Apparently the security guard kept muttering "boob out" and telling her to go upstairs (I think there is a "feeding room" in the toilets but don't know what it is like).

Haven't read the comments yet, but am just about to.

More comments here. Elizabeth Mayo is a local BFC and huge champion for bfing in Glos. If it wasn't for her and her bfing group (and mnet obviously!) I wouldn't still be bfing my DC at 8mo.

Am lucky, obviously, as have breast fed two babies all over London and never raised an eyebrow. I'll never forget a kind shop assistant in Marks and Spencers, Bromley, who gave me a curtained-off changing room all to myself, even though I wasn't buying, just to feed my baby in peace and quiet.

I do believe the anti-bfeeding instances are rare and nowadays the law is on your side, so to any bfeeding mums who do come across this sort of prehistoric attitude - DO NOT LET THEM GET AWAY WITH IT!!! Have some guts and stick your ground and see what happens. And then take legal action. Please stand up for the right to bfeed your children anywhere, whenever you choose.

Don't worry MrsFogi, I won't be scuttling off to do it in private. It's just that I will have to rethink my retort should anybody approach me. LOL purely hypothetical of course as nobody as ever as much as batted an eyelid!

I can understand those of you on here reading reports like this and getting a bit anxious about feeding in public. I always felt self conscious with dd1 (and was irritated at my own feelings)

With dd2 I am more confident. I have never had a negative comment. I think I exude a kind of "don't you even think about it" assertive air about me and even people who might look a little disapproving tend to put their heads down when I prepare to meet their eye...

I love to hear stories of shop/cafe managers going up to customers complaining about a baby having a meal/drink (via its mother's breast) and are then told in no uncertain terms that if they have a problem they should leave!

Recently a lady in her 70s/80s came up to me and had a very loud and lovely chat about how wondeful it was to see a baby being b/fed in a cafe. Anyone who didn't notice was alerted by this well meaning lady but I didn't care. I wanted to hug her.

This (OP) happened in my general area and am now thinking ahead to when dd2 is due and I'll hopefully be bf again - maybe a trip up to Cheltenham..could check out Boots at the same time...

Bumper, no, we only made it to nine months - given that DD was one of that tiny minority of babies who will NOT be dissuaded from biting, and had had teeth since four months, I figured I had suffered enough.

BF activities now are limited to grinning inanely at any woman I see BFing her baby (or toddler for that matter), and being utterly delighted at DD deciding that Mummy Rabbit should BF her errant offspring, Baby Ivan (obviously my attempts to instill BF awareness, aka crying 'aw, Millie is having her milk' whenever friend BFs her DD have paid off).

I must admit DCMB I am gritting my teeth through the pinching stage at the moment hoping it passes swiftly. Bless your DD!

As a complete aside I showered a friend with breast milk for the first time ever last week! I don't know how it happened, the only time I have even spurted was in the beginning, DD must have taken a slug then pulled off at an inopportune moment. Fortunately she found it funny!

I hope this article doesn't make people more anxious, I'm sure that if people canvass the bfers on here positive comments will far outweigh any negative (family members notwithstanding ).

Reply to email sent yesterday

Dear Mrs Jackson

Beechwood actively encourages breastfeeding, and understands that this most
natural of mother and infant interaction has fantastic physiological and
psychological health benefits for both mother and baby. The centre has a
Parent Room which offers all the necessary refinements to allow mother and
baby to complete a feed in a warm and secure environment.
Unfortunately the incident that occurred with Mrs Bayliss was not in context
with the centre's inclusive policy of normalising breast-feeding. Mrs
Bayliss was approached and unfortunately due to a breakdown in communication
or a misunderstanding was not able to make benefit of our facilities. It was
a very unfortunate incident one the centre regrets and the staff member
concerned is no longer with us.
We have reflected on the events that took place and have taken action steps
to negate the risk of similar events in the future.Beechwood is absolutely
100% supportive of breast feeding, but unfortunately the misguided comments
of an ill informed individual has caused distress to a customer, those
remarks are not shared or supported by the centre. We obviously apologise
for any distress and actively seek to redress by supporting any local
organisations, that can promote and support breast feeding and welcome them
to the centre.

Regards

Pete Barber
Beechwood Shopping Centre
123 High Street
Cheltenham
GL50 1DQ

t: 01242 26 11 22
f: 01242 26 11 99
m: 07770 966132
www.beechwoodsc.co.uk

Before you print please think about the environment

It may be intentional, it may not, but what's missing from that reply is any indication that if mothers want to feed just sitting on a bench or in the cafe, then that is fine, there is no pressure to go to the Parent Room.

Other than that, pretty good letter!

Bumper, how about you go and check out the 'necessary refinements', I'm intrigued?!

This happened in our local Adams of all places. The mother was told that they 'didn't like that sort of thing in the store'...

Glad you got a positive response though. I don't see that they had much choice though.

No, it's missing that, but I do like "inclusive policy of normalising breast-feeding", that sounds like somebody knows what they're on about, or has at least been stealing bits of text from decent documents.

i was told to move to the "mother and baby" room (bleargh) in my local shopping centre too. funnily enough the manager backed down hastily when i told him i'd be going to the press if he didn't leave me alone to get on with feeding my baby!!

tis a very rare experience though, thankfully, and i don't know many other people who've been through similar.

i would come to a breasfeeding sit in in Cheltenham!! always up for a bit of lactivism, me!

can't see how 'normalising' bf = use the baby feeding room.

or did i miss the part where she is allowed to bf anywhere there is an empty chair.

wankers.

Well I've said it before and I'll say it again,

You tell me to stop bf my 13 mo in public at your peril 'cos you'll never do it to another bf'ing soul, once I've very publicly dealt with you!

Dh lives in fear of someone saying anything to me I think

There is a feeding room at the Metro Centre, but it is right at the very end of the red quandrant next to Debenham's.
So I'm really going to walk all the way from the other side of the Metro Centre (good 15 mins walk) if ds suddenly decides he is hungry.
Definitely think the Centre Manager is missing the point, if the feeding room is close and has some nice comfy chairs I think most mums would choose to use it. But if they don't know where it is, or it is too far away, or just not very mice, then mum should be able to just find the nearest bench or little coffee shop with out fear of harrassment.

Oops should have been a after that 2nd sentence!

mice? nice!
Oh dear it is one of those days!