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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Mum asked to leave shopping centre for bfing

68 replies

TheWonderingLactivist · 09/03/2008 13:16

Here

I've name changed as this is my local area. This woman is a friend of a friend, I met her last night and I am incensed for her. She's great, the first thing she did was contact the press. Apparently the security guard kept muttering "boob out" and telling her to go upstairs (I think there is a "feeding room" in the toilets but don't know what it is like).

Haven't read the comments yet, but am just about to.

More comments here. Elizabeth Mayo is a local BFC and huge champion for bfing in Glos. If it wasn't for her and her bfing group (and mnet obviously!) I wouldn't still be bfing my DC at 8mo.

OP posts:
Monkeybird · 09/03/2008 15:10

And just to make it easier for you (after all that weblink says 'Get in touch. We'd love to hear from you'!)

You might like to note in your comments that local women say the baby facility at Beechwood is cramped and dirty. Not that this is the point of course but...

[email protected]

Customer Services
Beechwood Shopping Centre
123 High Street
Cheltenham GL50 1DQ

PABLOP · 09/03/2008 15:13

Its a shame, I don't live in Cheltenham I would happily take part in a marathon breast-feeding session on every bench, seat in the place.

PABLOP · 09/03/2008 15:15

Contact a manager
General Manager Pete Barber or Marketing Manager Marjan Horne on 01242 26 11 22

Imawurzel · 09/03/2008 15:21

My local boots have got rid of their bf room to make way for the opticians!!!
I haven't bf in public yet. Need to practice being a bit more discreet when trying to get DD to latch on.
That's the only time when i'm kinda showing a bit too much nork.

Littlefish · 09/03/2008 15:30

A friend of mine was breastfeeding in our local Sainsburys' coffee shop. A couple sitting nearby complained about it to one of the staff. The manager came over, and far from challenging the breastfeeding woman, spoke to the copmplaining couple and suggested that if they were offended, then they might like to either sit elsewhere, or find another coffee shop as breastfeeding mothers were entitled to feed where they liked, and were fully supported by the store.

He then checked on my friend to make sure she had not been upset, and brought her another cup of coffee.

Monkeybird · 09/03/2008 15:31

my boots has also got rid of its feeding/changing room (there was a curtain dividing the two areas )

Room for another campaign?

Imawurzel · 09/03/2008 15:35

Reckon MB.
It's not a huge store, but they coulda found someway of keeping it.
I would sit in store to see if it worked but not confident enough for that.
Nor would i be able to stand up to anyone asking me to move.
I'd shy away with embarrassment.

pelafina · 09/03/2008 15:38

Message withdrawn

katpotat · 09/03/2008 15:38

Should move up here to bonnie Scotland , where all women have the right to breastfeed in public...... I have never had any had any problems even after a year of breastfeeding everywhere!

TheWonderingLactivist · 09/03/2008 15:45

ok, i just sent this email to the centre:

Dear Sir/Madam

I read the article in the Gloucestershire Echo regarding your security response to Katherine Bayliss breastfeeding in your centre with disgust. I also met Katherine last night. We were both at a fund raising event for the Gloucestershire Breastfeeding Support Network (GBSN). The GBSN is a charity which provides support and encouragement to women breastfeeding their children. They do this mainly through weekly support groups, staffed largely by volunteers, where woman can receive support and obtain information on breastfeeding, and where they can feed their baby in a safe environment without feeling like they should be sectioned off from the rest of the world at a time when they need the most support.

That the GBSN exists is a sad indictment of the lack of support available to women who chose to breast feed. Not breast feeding a baby can have a negative impact on the health and well being of a child, who without breast milk may be more prone to infections, allergies and other illness, and also for mothers who face an increased risk of breast and ovarian cancer if they do not breast feed.

The lack of normalisation of breastfeeding in this country means that breast feeding is more difficult now than it ever used be. We do not see enough women breastfeeding which means that when mothers come to do it themselves they may not know how to do it, and many fail to start or continue breastfeeding do to lack of information and support.

A major factor for giving up or not chosing to breastfeed cited by mothers is fear of doing it in public and an anticipation that they will be house bound at a time when they need the patience and support of the outside world the most.

The reason that I have imparted all this information is in the hope that you will realise the far reaching impact that incidents like the one in your shopping have, and also that you understand even more the benefits that come with encouraging mothers to breastfeed their children. Aside from the benefits to both the mother and child, you must realise that mothers at home with their children are one of your primary consumer groups, and by ostracising them as you have done you are risking a loss to your business.

I am aware that you offer a feeding room in your centre. I admit that I have not seen it myself but if my vast experience of feeding rooms is to go by, and the fact that it is in the toilet area of the centre, I can imagine it is not the home away from home I would hope to find. I would be delighted to be proved wrong on this account. Even with a fantastic feeding room, you would be doing far more to support breastfeeding by providing a positive feeding environment in public where breastfeeding can be normalised.

Another way in which you could support breastfeeding in our area is by donating money to the GBSN so the breastfeeding counsellors and their wonderful volunteers can continue the invaluable support that that offer to mothers and extended families in Gloucestershire. Such support would be well received by mothers who attend the group, and their peers, and who are more likely to frequent the centre in response. Please make sure that you have a reputation for the right reasons.

I hope that you can pass on this email to the relevant people who will be able to take positive action to counteract the negative publicity following this incident.

Kind regards

TheWonderingLactivist

OP posts:
kiskideesameanoldmother · 09/03/2008 16:02

Women in England also have the right to feed their babies in public. What they do not have is protection backed up by the Law to prohibit people from harrassing them or a form of legislation which spells this out in black and white.

It is a very sad commentary on a society when a baby's right to be fed whereever is most convenient for his mother has to be written down in books of jurisprudence.

I'm pleased Scotland has done it, because it must have been needed to do it. But it is disgusting when we have to consider passing laws to protect the act of eating.

Pity I don't live near Glos. Wonder what they would make of a bfing 3yo. (not that she would probably ask to latch on in public anyway)

kiskideesameanoldmother · 09/03/2008 16:04

which spells this out = 'which spells out the right to bf anywhere'

TheWonderingLactivist · 09/03/2008 16:14

This comment has just been posted:

'As I work in a shop in the Beechwood, I witnessed the Guard telling the women off. It was about 5pm, Very quiet. There was no one else around and you wouldn't have evn noticed she was breast-feeding if the Guard hadn't made afuss of it. The Guard in question has been dismissed from the centre now and was acting on his own 'whim' (he was not under instruction from management). he actually came up to me and found it highly amusing that he'd just ''Kicked a woman out for getting her out''. As a security officer he should be aware of the law before he starts quoting it! Well done for pointing this issue out. Not all of us in Beechwood are as inept and ignorant as the minority.
Mike Wun, Beechwoood!'

OP posts:
Flynnie · 09/03/2008 16:31

Almost wish someone would tell me to stop bf in public, just so i couLd give them hell!
Its not like you can see much skin when bf anyway, the babies heads in the way.

Bouncingturtle · 09/03/2008 16:35

Yes, I believe what they have done in Scotland, is not make bfing in public legal (it never has been illegal) but make it illegal to harass a bfing mother.
Current discrimination leglislation with regards to discrimination against disability, race, sexuality and age are all covered under separate laws, there is a bill to scrap all the separate pieces of discrimation leglislation and replace with a bill that covers all forms of discrimation - but it only mentions women who breastfeed a child upto 1 year - there will be no protection against harassment for women bfing older children. I think the people behind the Breastfeeding Manifesto are trying to get this changed.

pedilia · 09/03/2008 16:36

I would kick off big time and refuse to move if anyone asked me to. How very dare they!!!

I have BF everywhere, while walking round Tescos, restaraunts,shops,on the beach etc I have never been approached and god help anyone who does

whomovedmychocolate · 09/03/2008 16:44

I think this was probably one lone muppet though - some of the comments seem to indicate he's been fired. You can't always account for individual ignorance can you. Though the centre should have an explicit policy and training.

But poor woman though. Personally I would have told him to call the police if he felt that way about it. Good on her for contacting the media though

motherinferior · 09/03/2008 16:47

Angua, I never had a single negative comment either. People did sometimes look very determinedly tactful, you know, focusing on my face , that was about all.

BumperliciousIsStillNotDressed · 09/03/2008 16:48

I'm just gunning for someone to ask me to leave somewhere. Sadly I have only ever had positive comments !

PABLOP · 09/03/2008 16:52

wow TWL, very articulate compared to my 5 line email

DontCallMeBaby · 09/03/2008 17:15

Sigh, someone on the debate page has trotted out that line about just taking a bottle out with you ... I've tried once to explain to someone just how much of a faff this would be (even if your baby will take a bottle) but lost the will to live halfway through the description of expressing and storing and sterilising and chilling and ... it's happened again, and that's just the abridged version.

I can only imagine what the feeding room is like in the Beechwood, given the toilets are not particularly pleasant. They're also an utter pain to get to, bad enough with a recently potty trained two year old who HAS to have a wee, never mind a baby desparate for a feed.

Elizabeth Mayo is great.

BumperliciousIsStillNotDressed · 09/03/2008 20:44

You're not still feeding DCMB are you? They might have something to say about that!

MrsFogi · 09/03/2008 20:56

Lucky girl - I always look security guards at shopping centres in the eye, willing them to come and ask me to stop bfing I'd love a good run in with any idiot who had the audacity to ask me to stop feeding dd (I do it discreetly btw I'm not a total militant). I can guarantee it would make good copy in the papers.

mawbroon · 09/03/2008 21:02

Oh, I didn't realise the Scottish law was only for up to two years old. That means that people are allowed to come and hassle me for feeding ds who is 2.4

I guess though that somebody who came to give me hassle would most likely be unaware that the law only covered babies up to age 2, so I could always call their bluff.

MrsFogi · 09/03/2008 21:11

I don't know why anyone even cares what the law is - I have a god-given right to feed dd where I want, when I want and I don't care what the law says.