worried about bfing.......any tips to help???

[SANA]

I am having my first baby in Feb next year, have been thinking alot about feeding and after speaking to many friends it seems as if bfing isnt as easy as nature intended and many seem to have given up within the first month. I want to make a real go of bfing and would love to hear from mothers who have been able to do it for a number of months together with tips that helped them. I am worried that if I have to feed every 2hrs I will give up as have no friends or family near where I live so will have no help except dh (who will b at work all day)and no one to rally me on

Oh by the way please dont turn this into a debate about bfing v formuler or benefits of bfing......... prettly please with a cherry on the top!!

Just give it a go see what you think. Not everyone has a hard time, I was lucky in that me and dd took to it really easily, she fed about every 3 hours or so which isn't too bad to cope with. Like you I had no family near by and relied on dp - who was great.

Access any help in your area (there are drop in centres and a bf workshop near me but I didn't use them) make contact with local NCT as they will be very helpful, also their national bf advice line was useful to me.

My advice would be - give it go, see how you feel and don't beat yourself up if you don't like it or find it too hard.

I fed DS1 and 2 for 12 and 15 months respectively. First time round, sheer bloodymindedness got me through the first few weeks, with DS2 I know I could do it although this didn't make it easy at the beginning.

Top Tip? If it hurts, call a breastfeeding counsellor. I don't have the NCT number at hand but I'm sure someone will come along with it later.

for some people it is very easy - and for some it is bl**dy difficult - and it depends on the baby too !

You may well be one of the lucky ones - so don't expect things to be awful.

Be aware though that midwives are not always experts - despite the impression they may give. If you think you are having problems get in touch with a breast feeding counseller (ooer - I can't spell that today !) - NCT, or others. And post here.

When you get it sussed breast feeding is by far the easiest thing to do.

And in the early days it is tough anyway - the baby gets hungry every few hours whichever way you feed it - but it really doesn't last long despite what it feels like at the time

Babies do seem to feed all the time in first few months some tips:

Get a cordless phone
Put telly on or read book over their shoulder (once you've got the hang of it of course)

I found the evenings the most difficult as in first 6-8 weeks baby seemed always hungry in evening - used to feed almost every hour! Since found out this is fine and it helps body to regulate and produce enough milk. So for at least first 6 weeks feed everytime baby squeaks so that you produce lots of milk - it really does take that long to settle into it.

Spend loads of time in bed!

On the actual latching on front which I found difficult, the way I got it to work was: Hold babies chin down with middle finger to open babies mouth wide then squish nipple as much into babies mouth as possible. It did hurt for first few weeks when baby latched on - use breast milk on nipples after feed to sooth them - it is better than all the lotions and potions you can find.

Just stopped feeding after 10 months - me and baby loved it although is very frequent in first few months but also very cosy. Also so easy in night to pop baby on and they go straight back to sleep.

Enjoy.

I breastfed (with the odd bottle of formula thrown in) and intend to do it again when my dd is born, also in Feb. I didn't find it hard - once the milk came in (day four/five) it was actually quite easy. But yes, many new babies do need to feed more frequently than every three hours - mine certainly did, so I just made sure that I had a magazine, tv remote control,cup of tea/glass of wine, book, telephone etc all to hand before settling down to feed ds. That's really not so very bad you know! And remember you do have people to support you - US LOT! Lots of advice from real experts in breastfeeding as well as people who have suffered every conceiveable problem and those of us who didn't really have 'problems' aside from sleepy babies who fell asleep at the sight of a nipple (!) and ones who fed a lot. I still went out all over with my baby and had a great time with that. I fed him a LOT in John Lewis & Peter Jones, in cafes...everywhere.

I found that breastfeeding was quite hard in the first few weeks, because neither I nor my dd really knew what we were doing! Many times I nearly gave up because it was hard and tiring, and because dd did want to feed every two hours, but at about six weeks she found her own routine and it became easier. I had no support at home other than dh (my family wanted me to bottle feed for some reason), but the breast feeding counsellor on my maternity ward was fabulous, and even came out to my home to help me when the going got tough. In the end I breast fed for over two years, so we obviously got it right in the end!

I think if I could give you one word of advice it would be to relax. If you're wound up about it you won't enjoy the experience, and it will interfere with your let-down and make matters worse.

I'm sure TikTok or someone else with far more experience than me will come along soon and give you far better advice than I could!

Breastfeeding counsellors ? who should also be able to help with expressing ? can be contacted through the NCT on www.nctpregnancyandbabycare.com or 0870 7703236; the La Leche League on www.laleche.org.uk or 0845 120 2918; the Association of Breastfeeding Mothers on www.abm.me.uk or 0207 813 1481; and the Breastfeeding Network on www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk or 0870 900 8787.

Bloss and others also swear by the Gina Ford routine, because it means you AREN'T feeding every two hours.

Get help right from the beginning. Insist that the hospital midwives etc show you what you should be doing - if they just plonk the baby on and say 'there, that's right', ask them HOW, and why it's right. I know they're busy, but it's supposed to be part of their JOB. It really does help to know exactly how it should be feeling, even when the baby is - ahem - clamped on.

Keep logging on to MN: there's lots of help here. If your breasts start hurting once you've got b/fing established, it might be thrush or a blocked duct - both can be tackled but they do have to be recognised.

I'm not going to be all ra-ra and say 'go on, girl, you can do it'...but I do think you can give it a go. HTH?

Sana .. you may well just breeze through it .. with no problems at all

even if you do breeze through it, be aware that it does hurt a little to begin with just count slowly to ten, and over time it should get easier and easier so you make it to 8 then 6 then 2 then no pain

feeding every 2 - 3 hours only lasts a short time and you may be surprised at how little you resent it .. by the time baby is 8 - 12 weeks old it will all have evened out

don't pressure yourself just take it one day at a time, and get support and help where you want

I found the first week (while I was in hospital) painful, but once I got home with dd I felt much better and continued to bf her for nearly 2 years, then bf ds for one year. So much easier than bottles if you can get to grips with it. I really miss bf

Accept any offers of help while you are in hospital and have the numbers of NCT and La Leche League and local breastfeeding cousellors handy at home in case of problems. Are you doing any Antenatal classses as if you can strike up a rapport with one of the professionals there you may be happier to ask for their support later on.

You may find that it does work out fine anyway but if you are at least prepared in advance for 2 - 3 hourly feeds,at least in those early weeks, then you are more likely to cope. Bear in mind that the first 4 - 6 weeks are usually the most demanding ( in terms of feeding - whichever way you choose - sleep and getting to know each other and getting used ot a new lifestyle) and that it is a learning experience for you all. Don't expect too much from yourself as regards housework, shopping etc, so plan the freezer/shopping accordingly, and you may surprise yourself .

Above all, remember there will always be someone to rally you on MN ! good luck.

Always have a muslin cloth to hand to drape over your feeding baby to protect them from cake crumbs and drops of butter from toasted hot cross buns... This is usually only a problem with your Precious First Born child because you don't have time for cake with subsewuent babies.

Yeah you have to relax. The midwives are always saying relax your shoulders and your like ' I am bl**dy relaxing my shoulders' through gritted teeth as it does hurt when baby latches on as your nipples not used to that much attention (well mine weren't anyway )

I was 'lucky' as in hospital for 2 days after baby born, also am quite demanding and really wanted to breastfeed so kept asking midwives to come and latch baby on for me.

My mum said the advice used to be have a glass of wine or a cigarette to calm yourself before/during feed. Don't think that advice still stands any more. Dad says nursery was always filled with a fug of smoke - hee hee

Oh, and one other thing; I did find the first six weeks tough. But then I found the first six weeks of both my babies' lives very tough overall. I think if I had stopped b/fing then (and I did think about it) it would have made life easier in the very short term. In the medium term (I'm talking six months - but yes that's a loooooooong way a way when your baby is four days old!) the easiest thing was to keep b/fing. I b/fed dd1 exclusively only for 3 months, and then mixed fed her and fed her night and morning till 10 months; her little sister who's just coming up for 18 months has never had formula and still gets a b/feed every morning. It really has been easier than fiddling about with bottles!

Like the advice below Just give it a go! everyones experience is different, My dd fed for every 3 hours, for the first few weeks, then she went to every four hours during the day, but every two for the evening, (grrr) so I had to relax and get used to being stuck on the sofa watching the soaps! (and I'm not one to sit in one place for any more than 10mins...fidgit) Just remember to drink lots of water and hand over your body for a while! eventually after about two months, I'd built up the expressing enough to give dd a bottle for 10pm feed and found this knocked her out till 6am! whoopeeeeeee, so that gave both of us a break, we started weaning onto formula at 5 mths, as work was beckoning and I'd had enough, each to their own I say! Just get the 1st six weeks over with and it'll all seem much better, GOOD LUCK

Be ruthless on positioning! When the baby first starts to breastfeed you will probably feel a sharp shooting pain which is the let down pain - but this should be quite shortlived and only at the beginning of the feed (fades away in a week or two IME) but if there is any other pain or it doesn't fade, then get the baby off and reposition him - mouth wide, no lips tucked inward, as much of whole nipple in mouth as possible, the baby directly on the breast and not twisting it - sounds complicated but it's not really, just that things can go wrong if you let the baby stay on when he's not positioned correctly, esp if you think 'oh well, it's supposed to be painful' and let it continue.

I think that it can be a helpful to think of feeding your baby as your job for this first couple of months. You prioritise it. You don't try to "get back to normal" or keep a pristine house or whatever. The main thing is to focus on your baby. If you think of it as your job, you are less likely to get upset if they end up feeding round-the-clock. It's important to realise that for the first 2 or 3 weeks, your baby actually prefers to be awake at night and to sleep during the day - if you alter your schedule to match this, it's a lot less stressful all round.

Your milk supply takes about 6 weeks to stabilise - it's all supply and demand, and usually the supply is bigger than the demand at first, but by about 6 weeks, the supply equals the demand. Therefore, don't set unreasonable expectations to have cracked it by the time your midwife signs off.

Just remember, that every day you breastfeed is a benefit to your baby. Set short-term goals - 2 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months etc, and enjoy passing these little tests. And be fascinated that your baby is growing because of your milk.

Oh, and don't forget to eat yourself. You need a lot of extra calories.

As the other laydeez say, it can be hard work in the first few months. Noone would deny that at this time it would be very tempting to give a bottle as you are knackered and there are usually lots of people hovering over the new arrival, dizzy with the novelyt and excitement of it all and dying to get involved.

But....fastforward a few months. Most of your visitors have disappeared back to their everyday routine and you are left with the boring task of buying formula,doing the bottles,cleaning, constantly having to work out what you need to take with you for a w/end,day, even afternoon away. What a grind..
As a b/feeder by contrast, you just pick the baby up and go. (My top tip incidentally. Leave a bag with a couple of nappies and a spare change of clothes in the car and one by the door then, whether you're going out with the pram,or in the car, you can just up and go!.

This is of course aside from the fact that breast milk is infinitely superior to formula.

The other thing that I am surprised that noone has touched on is the issue that b/feeding is about so much more than food. It establishes a wonderful sensuous symbiotic relationship between you and your baby (and no, Im not saying that bottle feeders don't have close relationships with their babies either-!)

Women far more than men know that food is inextricably entwined with a whole lot of other complex emotions.

I never really enjoyed being pregnant but do like the feeling of being a b/feeding mother. It's a lovely state of limbo,not pregnant yet not just like anyone else (badly put I know,what I mean is that you haven't yet referted to your ordinary routine.) I feel special and I love the fact that I can give them what noone else can and when they're ill it's a godsend. Feels so primeval and instinctive to nurse and nurse then.

Just give it a go, and keep an open mind. Like many here, I started thinking of doing it for 6 mths,then a year and so on. Finished at 2 1/2 years. This time around, who knows!!
Looking back, the time from them wanting a feed every few hours to being able to go all day without one passes so fast.

Is it a hassle sometimes? Yes, like everything, but hey, who would have a kid at all if they didn't want hassle?!

For myself,despite the fact that I am by no means a model mum, my conscience quite simply would not allow me to choose a method of feeding my child that was not THE best one.

Best of luck whatever you decide!

Please help. I have been feeding my baby for six weeks with no problems but now when I feed him he plays up and screams for no apparent reason.

Has anyone else had this problem!!!

The only thing I tried to do differently this time around was to ensure that ds fed enough in the day, sometimes waking him for a feed.
I didn't do that with dd and am convinced that is why she needed frequent night feeds.
Although not into Gina Ford, isn't this what she points out?

Also, learn to express then you are able to have some freedom-more than enough! Don't understand people saying this with regards to bottle feeding.
(ie you're 'tied down') Realistically, how lond/often are you going to leave your precious new baby for anyway!?)

Agree with the fact that when you are breastfeeding you can go anywhere without worrying about having bottles and formula with you or having to rush back to feed your baby. I found feeding in the car, with a flapjack in your hand and the radio on, really rather pleasant. Mind you, though breastfeeding was a good choice for me, I don't feel my relationship with my ds is any less close for stopping. But that's a totally different issue. I suppose it does 'tie' you to the baby, but I really liked being 'tied' to mine most of the time. I even had a pedicure while breastfeeding a couple of times!

MandyJ, what do you mean he cries? All the way through? Before you start? After five minutes? Some babies are very efficient feeders and don't want/need to feed for any longer. Does he seem hungry?

mandyj, sorry I can't advise, why don't you start a new thread, because people may not see your post on this one

Sana
I think you're right that a lot of people do start bf and then give up - tho it is worth even doing it for a few days.
Good for you to want to really try it. I bfed all my three for a year (a bit longer in the case of DS2) tho by the end it was just evening or morning and evening.
The vital thing is to make sure your baby is latched on properly, as this will mean he/she gets a good feed and then is satisfied, doesn't need feeding so often hopefully!
Make use of your midwives at hospital after baby is born, they can help show you the right position. Don't assume it's easy just because it's natural, you and baby both have to learn how to do it!
There should also be an NCT b/feeding counsellor who may help, ours was fab.
I just found it a really convenient and quick way to feed my babies and would highly reccomned it. But I realise some find it hard, do your best and don't beat y/self up if it doesn't work out.
just skimming through thread, lots of good advice on here. Would second idea of drink/food while feeding, I always found I got so thirsty!