worried about bfing.......any tips to help???

[SANA]

I am having my first baby in Feb next year, have been thinking alot about feeding and after speaking to many friends it seems as if bfing isnt as easy as nature intended and many seem to have given up within the first month. I want to make a real go of bfing and would love to hear from mothers who have been able to do it for a number of months together with tips that helped them. I am worried that if I have to feed every 2hrs I will give up as have no friends or family near where I live so will have no help except dh (who will b at work all day)and no one to rally me on

Good luck for February!

And good luck with bf. As others have said, bf can be painful - I swear that I ground the top off one of my teeth when bf ds1. However, I stuck with it and fed him til around 12mths. I did find that nipple shields gave me a bit of respite from the pain (sorry, don't want to lay in on thick) but they are very frowned on so don't use them lightly. And as they have to be sterilised, are a bit of a faff when you just want to open your bra and 'go'. If bf works it's really really lovely and so easy. I never regretted trying and so proud we managed. (Just as hard for some babies to learn as for Mums - ds2 was born to bf and never had any probs, ds1 a bit hamfisted...)

Also, don't be afraid to experiment with positions. Took such a long time to establish comfortable feeding with ds1 I didn't dare risk any other positions for ages. Then discovered feeding while lying down in bed - bliss (means you don't have to be entirely conscious for night/first thing in the morning feeds - only when you are really confident though!)

Hi hun

I had a tough time for the first five weeks or so with DS (mainly for the night feeds - daytime ones were easier). I think a combination of poor latch and wriggly baby meant it was hard work - he was very windy, poor boy.

But I really wanted bfeeding to work - I was so determined and I knew I could make it work. I read all I could about it and worked really hard to get the latch right and suddenly everything just clicked into place. I am still feeding DS who is now 8 months and I'm SO glad I kept on with it.

My tips would be - get support from someone who knows what they're talking about - a bfeeding counsellor for preference!

But the only time I fed DS two-hourly or more frequently was during a growth spurt - and I took him to bed with me to do that!

If you live near me I'll help you! I'm in west London xxx

One thing I would suggest before you have your baby is that you work out a few places in your home that would be comfortable for breastfeeding. I loved the idea of feeding lying down in bed, but never got the hang of it, so had to sit on the bed. Make sure you've got a cushion you can put the baby on and that your back is well supported, otherwise you'll end up with backache. Also be prepared for it to take ages for your baby to feed during the first few weeks. It used to take my ds about 45 minutes so you need to be comfortable.

another tip - video lot of things and watch them while you are feeding, and also maybe order some good books from the library - I read loads while feeding DS1 - but had to have softbacks because the hardbacks were too heavy to hold one handed

MandyJ - maybe your baby starting to be more aware of surroundings. Try going into a quiet room so it is just you two and no distractions. Babies have lots of little phases, it won't last long - then it will be something else.

Yes, I agree with that one Flumberry. They sometimes seem to get a sort of sensory overload.

MandyJ - maybe he has wind or colic - often start up around 6 weeks I think - try infacol. Or maybe he is frustrated because the milk isn't coming as quickly as he would like and his is having to work at it !

As the others say - try changing postion eg feeding with his legs under your arm - mine preferred that postion, and try soothing music, or somewhere quiet.

Mandy, could it be a growth spurt? I seem to remember my dd going through a phase like that but once my supply caught up she was fine again.

Sana, I was exaactly the same this time last year- my dd is now 11 months and still bf and has never taken to a bottle (but now bit difficult as I'm going to work next month and she won't drop the afternoon feed!) Just try to relax and like others have said there is a good chance that you won't have any problems whatsoever. I was lucky in that we didn't have any (dd fed for about 1/2 hour straight after being born) and yes she did feed every couple of hours for a while but you get through it, trust me. And like you, I have no family close by and rely on dh for all of my support but again you just do it!
HTH- you'll get loads of advice on here, a lot better than m,ine!

I haven't had to time to read all the postings but my tip would be if you have larger boobies try the 'rugby ball' type position for the first few weeks when they are tiny. I found that much easier.

oh, and get a comfy chair with arms at the right height. I have a rocking chair with wings so if I fell asleep I had somewhere to rest my head and arms to take the weight off your arms a bit. Also used a v-shaped cushion. (my baby was v heavy from the start and gave me bad arm ache!)

i found a feeding pillow (i got a partial doughnut-shaped one called a boppy) made it much easier

My midwife also told me to eat cake? at about 4 pm so that you can make enoguh evening and night time milk! Not sure if that is true but I did enjoy my daily cake ration. Needless to say i never did lose that baby weight!

get a tube of lasinoh in case of soreness (you can get it on prescription, so free to you). i had toe-curling pain with both my dd's but persisted and i'm really glad i did and have bfed both of them for nearly 2 years each.

second the stuff about cordless phone, books (well magazines, which are easier to read when you have a 2 second attention span) and food/drink nearby so you don't have to keep getting up.

in the first few weeks try and get dressed at least once a week before midday, it'll make you feel organised & "on top of it all"

Mandy - start a new thread with more details, and I'll post and try to help

SANA -i never managed bf with no 1 (lots of reasons why) but have found it relatively easy with no 2. Learning from what went wrong before, my top tips are to buy some Lansinoh cream before your baby comes and take it in your hospital bag; don't pump milk unless you really have to for the first weeks - your baby should be your pump; don't wear a bra for a while; and buy Clare Byam Cook's video on b/feeding from Amazon - the best advice for postitioning, I'd never have managed without it.

OH WOW, didnt expect so many responses, thanks girls really want to give it a go, ordered cordless phone today, cake everyday seems yum, will get some cream ( for my nipples not the cake!!), I contacted my hospital and found out that they run a BFing workshop so will attend....I am going to resolv myslef that for the first 8wks at least I will do nothing but feed....all very exciting but scary

one tip i should have listened to but didn't and ended up struggling for the 1st 3months is once baby is latched on, count to ten. if it still hurts then take baby off by sliding your little finger into the corner of her mouth to break the suction and start again.

also be careful with listening to the advice of your hv's or midwife, i know it sounds terrible but they told me so much rubbish and outdated information which really didn't help me at all. GP's and chemists in general aren't much better, a trained bf counsellor or lactation consultant are much more likely to give you accurate information, so if i was you i'd ask both a health professional and a bf professional if you do encounter any problems, just to make sure you are doing the right thing.

i think the australian bf assoc has some videos on their website which show correct positioning etc, as i always found it hard to put into practice what i was reading, and found it easier to look at pics.
hope that helps,

just thought of another thing you may want to try which i am doing when dd2 is born in feb, i have just bought a pouch style sling so i can bf and have hands free to get on with other things like playing with dd (will be 15m in feb) and maybe a little bit of housework although i must say i did enjoy having my husband wait on me hand and foot first time round, who can argue with " sorry darling, baby needs feeding!!!"

I had my first baby in September and like you, had no-one close by. You're doing the right thing by researching as much as poss BEFORE your baby arrives You're right - it is bloody hard work, but if you are determined you can get it to work.

Find a breast counsellor NOW, see some live action of BF, try and and see how to get a proper latch - that is half the battle! Lansinoh cream between feeds will help the healing.

Your nips will more than likely hurt like hell those first 2 weeks - it will get better if you really focus on your latch. Don't worry about repeatedly removing your baby's mouth until he gets a good latch - he'll be hungry and will soon twig!

A baby's tummy is really, really tiny and they can't take much volume - hence the need to feed so often. Couple that with a fast growing baby and you could be feeding for what seems like every hour for the first few weeks - it's normal! Don't be brow beaten into giving a bottle of formula at night to help him sleep longer - it doesn't work like that. However, make sure (for the first few weeks) that every feed is at least 20 mins. You may have to employ all sorts of tricks to keep him awake as wee babies get bloody knackered feeding.

Ummm, I think that's all the tips I can think of right now!

Ooh, be firm in bringing the baby to your breast - but guide the back of the neck NOT the head as bringing the head onto the boob squashes their airway and they protest.

If you have a fussy baby, they may be easily distracted by other stuff going on so find a quiet place. My DS is like this and is a nightmare to feed in public!

Good luck - it's a wonderful thing to do, but it's a skill - don't be frightened to ask us for help!

Must rush - dinner calls

SANA ... welcome to Mumsnet
As usual everyone on MN has given tip top advice and I suggest you print this thread off and use it for reference!!!
I gave up breastfeeding my son at 6 weeks because at 4 weeks he needed to have an operation and was Nil by Mouth for 48 hours ... NO ONE gave me any advice about how to express to keep my milk supply up (we had started off really well) and so when he could feed again we had a shocker and so I supplemented with bottles and so by 6 weeks it was all over. I had PND too so the giving up was terrible ...
Anyway, with DD I was determined for it to work and I did loads of research beforehand and read every breastfeeding thread on MN before she was born. As a result I was so confident when she was born .... on my notes the midwife even wrote "Confident, competent mother" ... LOL ... am still proud of that.

Give it a go ... and I also wanted to add - if it doesn't work for you then don't beat yourself up about it (which is what I did) ... being able to breastfeed is great but it has no bearing on your ability as a mother (think of all the wonderful adoptive parents out there) ...

Good luck

The best bit of advice I can give you is, once you have got the latching on bit sussed (very very important) TRUST YOUR BODY to be able to sustain your baby. One of the things most people get stressed about is "Is my baby getting enough milk?" It is hard to tell how much your baby is getting (with bottle feeding you can see how many ounces they get at every feed) and I often worried about how much DD was taking. And because she was always a quick feeder I was always astounded that she put on weight week on week ...
If your baby is putting on weight and is mainly happy and content and has plenty of wet and pooey nappies then she is getting enough even if you don't think so.
For the first few weeks I really had to will myself to trust my body ... but after a couple of months I stopped worrying about it.
I fed DD successfully for just over 9 months and it was such a wonderful feeling that we did so well after the fiasco with DS.