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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Is it really possible to have a routine with a BF baby?

48 replies

lazyhen · 03/03/2008 17:45

I have a 6.5 week old DD (1st child), and I have struggled with BF since the beginning. She was 6lb6oz and is now 8lb2oz so I'm happy that she is thriving now and I am finding it easier, but it is VERY frequent.

I have read a couple of the 'popular' baby books which seem to contradict each other, but there does seem to be a theme about limiting time on breasts and spacing out feeds to 3hrs.

My DD sleeps well at night and wakes about 3.5 hours but is much more frequent during the day, and I'm finding it really tiring.

So - what are peoples experiences and thoughts about this?

OP posts:
rascal1979 · 03/03/2008 17:49

My baby is 11 weeks old but was prem and her coerrected age is 2 weeks. She has been breastfeeding for just over 2 weeks and I feel exactly the same - to make matters worse she can only feed from one side so at the moment I am expressing the other after each feed so even less chance of a routine at the moment!

Sorry that's not really an answer but I just wanted to say you're not alone!

Hopefully someone will come along and have all the answers

MrsBadger · 03/03/2008 17:51

very few of the 'popular' books have a scooby about the real way bfing works

it's ok to have a routine for getting up, naps, playtimes, baths, walks etc, but personally I wouldn't feed any other way than on demand with a baby that small

VictorianSqualor · 03/03/2008 17:53

Oh every baby has a routine, their routine, don;t try and change it cos it won;t work.
Follow their routine and tweak yours to fit, you'll soon breeze through it.
Also it has nothing to do with BFing, a bottlefed baby would be going a few house between feeds too, and they only go slightly longer sometimes because the food is harder to digest, then the time you save not feeding you're sterlising and making up milk.
You're doing great, stick to it and try to go with the flow.
(stop reading those books )

VictorianSqualor · 03/03/2008 17:53

house? HOUSE?
hours

chibi · 03/03/2008 17:55

Let the baby feed as often as she likes for as long as she likes.
It's early days yet - it will calm down and a pattern/routine will work itself out. Over time the baby will most likely go longer between feeds of her own accord, and most likely feeds will take less time.

After a baby has finished with one breast, wind her and offer the other. If she doesn't want it, she won't have it!

If you limit the access to the breast you risk messing up your supply.

Hope this helps

Monkeybird · 03/03/2008 17:57

Don't do those things IMHO. Your baby will find it's own routine soon and actually a daytime pattern like yours is to be appreciated (better than the other way round!)

Having a 1st baby is just bloody exhausting in itself TBH and not sure any shift in your daytime routine would make the slightest diff. Try and do less, lie in bed and BF if you have to (or at least sometimes!)

They also have so many growth spurts where they build up the supply in the early weeks that if you try to limit it then you make it more difficult for yourselves.

Your baby will gradually get more efficient at getting milk and will start spacing out her feeds (probably) so just keep at it...

andienovicehabitlifter · 03/03/2008 17:58

lazyhen my experience is that the more they tank up in the day the longer they will go at night so I would carry on with frequent daytime feeds as you ofetn reap the rewards with longer stretches of sleep at night

I agree with everyone else about routine they each have their own
with my first it did take a bit of getting used to the unpredicatability but I soon lost my clock watching

OliviaJournalist · 03/03/2008 18:02

Message deleted

VictorianSqualor · 03/03/2008 18:03

Also, just wondering routine wise if you wanted to feel more in control of it do you do the difference between day/night time?

It's really simple, just keep daytimes quite noisy, active, happy, cheerful etc then around when she would normally have the last feed, whatever time DD takes it, be it 8pm or 10pm, do the bath, then a feed, then bed, from that time until you decide it's morning do everything in hused tones, dimmed lights, less eye contact, no playing, still feed and change as often as needed but make baby aware there is a diference between day and night.
That way when they do find their own routne they'll be alot more likely to decide night time is for sleeping IME.

fordfiesta · 03/03/2008 18:08

we never managed a routine..... but know bf mums who did (kind of). I always found a routine more restrictive and we were both happier just dealing with the need as it happend. My 'routine lead' mums were always tied up with getting things done and getting home on time etc in order to 'keep the routine'. That said i have a 2 year old who still wont sleep through and they have 2 year olds who do!?!

MegBusset · 03/03/2008 18:11

Olivia there is a separate topic for media requests

Lazyhen, DS only went 2 hours between feeds til he was a lot older than your DD, it is totally normal for BF babies. I would throw away the books and try to relax and enjoy your lovely new DD

milkmoustache · 03/03/2008 18:15

With DD I tried to be baby-led with most things, and after a couple of months I realised that her feeds had become extremely predictable and had settled down to the same kind of routine suggested in some very severe baby manuals. But it was a much less stressful approach than trying to force DD into a routine...

Definitely agree with Vic Squalor that it is crucial to maintain a difference between day and night time: even if it is just for your own sanity! It means that you can try to be interactive in the day, but at night you are allowed to be quieter and try to avoid being entertaining - so at least you feel a difference between day and night even if
your baby doesn't!

StarlightMcKenzie · 03/03/2008 18:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

blueshoes · 03/03/2008 18:22

lazyhen, yes, it is possible to have a routine with a bf-ed baby. Might take a little longer for this routineto become apparent especially if you demand feed and let dd fall asleep at the breast (which is perfectly fine).

I am the most non-routinised person when it comes to babies. Even then, I find that once my dcs' naptimes become more set (6.5 weeks might still be too young for this), the naptimes determined the structure of my day. Once dcs were on solids after 6 months, that also added more structure to my day. The feeds occurred in between and formed no part of my routine, because I might be feeding 2-3x an hour when they were awake - could be just little comfort feeds of five minutes each.

By 3-4 months, they get quite efficient anyway and even proper feeds not longer than 10 minutes. So quite easy really. I never bothered to schedule feeds and it worked fine.

gegs73 · 03/03/2008 18:28

DS2 was in a BF feeding routine from pretty early on. He needed it every three hours in the day. However the bad part of this was that it was also the same during the night every 2.5 to 3 hours.

DS1 was competely different, fed lots more during the day but went for much longer stretches during the night.

From about 4 months, both of them did get into more of a proper routine and were alot more predictable feed wise and also slept better.

Each baby is different so don't worry about what other people say theirs is doing, sounds like you are doing great.

Louandben · 03/03/2008 18:31

Too early for a routine yet, but one will emerge..eventually! The baby whisperer book is a good one to have a look at if you want guidance re routine, it is quite gentle in its approach (no set times for breakfast naps etc, unlike some) and allows for different personalities in babies. Dont try and look for a routine until at least 2 months though, you will probably just end up driving yourself crazy!

Original poster
lazyhen · 03/03/2008 18:39

Thanks all - Louandben I'm 1/2 way through Baby Whisperer as I thought it's be a bit more gentle, but she doesn't agree with demand feeding and falling asleep at the breast (both of which my DD does). I think the nights are going fairly well as we do the same thing every night with bath, quiet time, feed and then to bed.

Good job I only got these books from the library and didn't actually buy them!

Really interested to hear everyone's thoughts though. I think deep down I believe DD is acting on instinct alone and is feeding becuase she's hungry/thirsty/wants closeness, and shouldn't be restricted with her feeds but it's such a minefield knowing what to do!

OP posts:
Monkeybird · 03/03/2008 19:06

BW good on being (mostly) baby centred and trying to recognise their needs but really crap on BF - she doesn't really understand it at all...

...Like all these books, you need to take bits and not others and with BF best advice is always from BF experts (often other women who have done it and/or BF counsellors from NCT or BFN helplines for example..

Or Tiktok on here who's a fully trained BFC I think. Or Hunker who knows loads.

blueshoes · 03/03/2008 20:17

agree with monkeybird. Tracy Hogg never breastfed BTW.

Original poster
lazyhen · 03/03/2008 20:21

I thought that from the tone of her book it sounded like she isn't pro BF. I honestly think until you've BF you can't comprehend the physical and emotional issues it brings about.

OP posts:
Nessamommy · 03/03/2008 20:36

Honestly...until they are 6 months, just enjoy them and do what they want to do. Life is more enjoyable that way.

expatinscotland · 03/03/2008 20:38

No, I really don't think it is until the baby is at least 6 months old.

The only 'routine' we'll have when this one is born is getting DD1 to school and back and then DD2 to nursery.

trixymalixy · 03/03/2008 20:47

I used the baby whispereR book to give me an idea of how long DS could stay up between naps at each age.

i tried to have a routine with naps, i.e. after being up for an hour and a half would put DS down for a nap when little,stretching to 2 and a half hours when about 1.

I then just fed on demand and DS GRADUALLY GOT INTO HIS OWN FEEDING PATTERN.

oops sorry about caps!

PhDlifeNeedsaNewLife · 03/03/2008 20:50

ds had a routine. He fed every two hours for four months. Like clockwork!

JingleyJen · 03/03/2008 20:59

I loved the babywhisperer book.
I watched for a few weeks to see if there was a pattern to DS1's feeding and there was.. it started that every 2 hours he wanted to feed, I changed his nappy after a feed and put him down to his milky drunken sleep.
over the coming weeks he stopped sleeping so much so after a feed he would stay awake for 20 mins then sleep and at that time he wanted to feed every 3 hours.
If I remember correctly he wanted to feed every 3 hours until he was about 15-20 weeks (6am 9am 12noon 3pm 6pm 9pm 12midnight)
However this was all set by him. We didn't feel we had manipulated it what we did do was think - Hm he only fed 20 minutes ago - is he hungry or is he bored?

I would also say that the majority of Mums in my Antenatal group started to feel that they were more together around the 12-16 week mark.
You have been on a huge learning curve, sounds like you are doing brilliantly!

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