Moving from mixed feeding back to breast..........encouragement and help please

[PeckaRolloverAgain]

To cut a waffly tale short DD 8 weeks over the last few days has been almost bottle fed except 2-3 breastfeeds a day.

Not sure if our problem is nipple confusion or possible tongue tie (meeting with a breastfeeding counsellor tomorrow to discuss this).

DD started to refuse to feed ocassionally a week or so again, after introducing an ocassional bottle - I thought I was ok with moving to bottles but she quickly started to refuse the breast at most feeds and getting really, very agitated if I even attempted to put her on the breast. The only time she would feed is overnight on teh night feed.

I was/am gutted at the refusal and the realisation that breastfeeding was coming to a premature end if I didnt do something.

After talking to the lovely marslady, a lactation consultant for doula uk and then emailling a breastfeeding counsellor in my area it seems likely that tongue tie might be an issue. They have also encouraged me that all is not lost and I shoudl be able to get it back.

The last day or so with going very slowly I have managed to get her to take the boob at a few feeds but the feeds seem pretty short and ineffective before she refuses to go back on. Her latch has deteriorated and she slips off often.

I am seeing BFC tomorrow who hopefully can tell me if tongue tie is an issue and give me some help and support with positioning, latch etc

I just hope that it is not too late as she is having rather a large amount of formula/ebm and because she is refusing often im finding it hard to give my breasts the extra stimulation they need to increase milk supply.

Im guessing that my milk supply must be pretty low by now but there is still milk there when i express/squeeze and she feeds pretty happily from me on the overnight feed.

anyone else done this and managed it?

Had a similar problem DD refused one breast,and would only feed for a short period on the other. Le leach adviser suggested that when feeding her I slowly walked and rocked her. It worked everytime! Looking back I think that I became increasing stressed when trying to feed her and she picked up on this, therfore would not latch on. Walking changed our feeding position and took my mind off focusing on her not feeding. So deep calm breath, relax and enjoy!! I exclusivey bf for six months and still going three feeds a day at 9months.

Hi all

Just a little update

DD is still fine on the breast and hasnt actually refused at all for a few days now, she is also happily feeding again in cradle position

The one feed Im having trouble with is the bedtime feed, after taking both breasts she comes off and isnt satisfied. I dont mind sitting as long as it takes for her to cluster feed but she will not go back on and is very tired and just melts down.

Resorted to ebm bottle and she took 3oz went down to sleep and is still asleep.

Im nervous though that this is becominging a pattern again.

What can I do?

Pecka, how about starting a quiet bedtime routine thing - so you start winding her down with a quiet time with a feed, and a bath and a feed, with the last half hour or so in a quiet spot in your house....seems to me like she gets herself tired and agitated and doesn't know what she wants. Might be worth trying a new , quiet thing for a few nights to see if it works?

She IS a sensitive little soul and seems very prone to becoming overtired.

I think part of the reason we are feeding happily again is that i am feeding on earlier cues whereas before i was waiting for her to demand a feed by crying - she doesnt deal well with that.

Good idea about settling routine, think i might move everything a bit earlier, see if i can get a couple of feeds into her before she needs to shut out the world!

Pecka,

Reading this thread just makes me smile. Your doing great.

A nice touchy feely bedtime book to share?

Do you have a nursing chair to rock on with her?

Baby Massage?

I don't know if this helps. DS was about 9 months (exc. b/fed) and started refusing - very politly. If I latched him on, he would, quite gently, bite me.
I took him to BFC @ Sure Start and they advised constant skin-to-skin, back to co-bathing, latching him on randomly all the time etc
I spent about two days sitting around in my pants, with him in his nappy, doing all of the above and it worked. He just started again.

feeding gone tits up (literally) again here

am gutted and exhausted with it. i just want to feed her fgs!!!!

she will only take the breast under certain conditions - she wont feed for comfort or when tired.

if she is too hungry or too stimulated or over tired there is just no way and she gets upset if i even try.

Have only managed to breastfeed her 6 times in two days

WHY WHY WHY????

oh pecka poor you. what is she doing when she won't feed, is she crying/squirming/what? did you try the walking about feeding, that sometimes works for me too? sorry, i'm sure you have tried everything. do you feel a difference with the more milk stuff?
wish i could help more.

yeah, the more milk stuff helped LOADS dont think too little milk is an issue

have tried walking with her, deep baths, lying down etc

unless she isnt very hungry and isnt very tired she just screams when i try to latch her on.

when i do get her on she doesnt stay on long quickly losing her latch.

first started happening again on friday evening and has continued.

Oh Pecka, I really feel for you, I don't have any great advice really... I just wanted to let you know I have exactly the same bloody problem bfing ds. For the last week he has only bf morning and night and will only take bottles through the day. If I try to bf through the day he refuses, screams, cries and if I persisit and finally get him on it last about 2 minutes before he comes off again. By the time i've faffed around trying to get him to bf half an hour has passed and he's just hungry (but still won't bf) so then I give him a bottle. I've stopped trying to bf him in the day and just given him bottles and tried to express as much bm as i can to give to him.
I often ask myself why too, I was so determined to exclusively bf him at least till 6 months and I just can't understand when i'm trying so hard to give him what's best for him he just refuses?! I think he just likes how easy it is to get the milk from the bottle.
Anyway i'll stop babbling, just wanted you to know you're not alone and i'm sure someone will be along soon with some good advice for you, hang in there

pecka i just read back through the whole thread to see if it gave me any more ideas. i am about the least qualified person to be talking to you and i hope someone cleverer comes along soon.

trying to think...have you tried the BN positioning again? can you speak to the BFC you saw? or just one of the helplines?

nursing strike?
poorly?
teething?

poor you. you are doing so well... it must be very hard .

dalrymps i TOTALLY relate - by the time I have tried to feed her and she has fussed a few minutes she is then so hungry that she gets upset and simply will not go anywhere near me.

Im so, so, sad about it as I LOVE breastfeeding her and for a reason I dont know she doesnt seem to feel the same.

surely at her mummys breast should be heavenly for her but it just doesnt seem to offer her much comfort.

Im starting to lose the energy to fight it - exacerbated by her being much more settled when we have a few days where the breastfeeding is rocky and bottles are used.

I know its all just a vicious cycle but what to do?

I think alot of it is not a feeding issue but a sleep one - she sleeps well at night but its very difficult to get her to sleep in the day and she tends to get very overtired - when she is like this the breast refusal is at its worst.

Would love to be able to BF her to sleep to help solve both problems but she wont latch on when I try.

Feeding in dark, quiet room helps but with 2 other kids its often not possible.

Im considering excslusively expressing but then I lose all of the lovely close feeds, the convenience of breastfeeding etc

lulu she doesn't seem to be poorly or teething - and I cant understand why a baby of 11 weeks refuses so often.

Isnt it normally a behaviour of much older babies?

I feel like i really want to breastfeed her but she would be happier on bottles - but she cant be can she?

Pecka

Get in touch with breastfeeding counsellor again, maybe??

Yeah, I have emailed and hope to be able to speak to her - bit sad as I only updated her with our great progress last week!!

Not sure what I can do though as all of the tips from last time havent been working - will keep trying though and maybe try a babymoon tomorrow as dh is off

Hope it improves for you. I think the only advice I can give is with how to cope emotionally. I try not to see it as lo doesn't like bf, or me or the closeness just that he's too young to knwo what he really wants and so it is not a personal rejection rather just that when he has a bottle put in his mouth he hardly has to do anything to get the milk so he just drinks it and is satisfied iykwim? I'm sure if lo was old enough to decide which they prefered they would choose bf as it is cosy and lovely and with mummy but thats not possible.
I think i'm just babbling now but thats how I look at it anyway, it helps to stop me getting so upset about the whole thing.
All you can do is try and I definately know it's hard and the longer you struggle and get knocked back the harder it feels to carry on trying, it's very tiring emotionally. All I can say is, if it's what you want to do, try not to let the stress you feel at the moment stop you, just do what ever you can to get as much bm in to lo if thats your aim, whether that be expressing or bfing, then when you look back in a few years, even if it didn't work out you'll have no regrets as you'll know you tried your best. Good luck

Dalrymps, thankyou - can I ask what your plan is? Are you happy to leave it at the morning and night feeds and daytime bottles?

I normally always manage the middle of teh night and first feed of the day and at least one other feed in the day - after seeing the BFC we were back to exclusive feeds for a while but alas, not now!

Hopefully everything will be different tomorrow eh!

Well my plan for the moment is morning and night feeds and to express as much as I can in the day then give him that, My lo is 20 weeks so have been stuggling with this for quite a while, I was down to 2 bottles a day at one point but gradually the bf got less and the bottles got more again. Just feel like the same situation keeps happening over and over. Thats not to say that it won't work out for you though, your lo is a lot younger and may be easier to 'teach' iykwim? As tiktok says, see you bf counsillor again, mine has helped me a lot, I would have stopped bf at 3 weeks if it wasn't for her help and advice. Don't beat yourself up over it though, try to take things one day at a time, rememeber, whatever you do it will be right by your lo cause you're her mummy!

dalrymps, thanks for sharing its comforting to know its not just me!

well done for keeping going, hopefully at 20 weeks breastfeeding will still be playing some part in life with us!

good luck i'm sure it'll work out for you... by the way, what area of the north east do you live in? just wondered as it said NE on your profile and i'm in Berwick.