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please help - SO hacked off with GP & H V and feeling really crap about BF (again)

78 replies

Caz10 · 20/02/2008 15:06

sorry i feel like i am always whinging on here...

to cut a long story as short as poss, dd was born quite small, 2nd bottom centile. she tracked it for about 5 weeks, then dropped weight a little bit and went down to the bottom centile (0.4th). Cue much pressure from HV to change to formula, finally agreed to top-ups which i did for a few days then stopped.

i know that hv is a muppet re bf-ing - gems of info/advice have included

  • she's too small to have a very strong suck
  • a lot of mums find their milk dries up at 5 weeks


she keeps commenting on my "bf-ing problems" although she's never once watched me feed or offered advice on it.

thankfully i got in touch with the BfN, and through them the BF advisor from our maternity unit. They have helped me enormously with my latch, and with assuring me that DD is ok.

dd is 10 weeks now and i had to take her to get weighed today (ok i know i don't have to go, but i am a 1st timer and scared in case she has lost weight again). she has gained a little weight, tracking the bottom centile, and jumped another one (3rd jump) in length.

HV STILL going on about top-ups, she clearly thinks I'm mad for only bf-ing. she is conferring with the gp (who last week again advised formula and has referred us to paeds) and calling me back, no doubt to tell me again to go on formula.

i am hacked off and so demoralised.

aarg.
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MommaFeelgood · 24/02/2008 20:51

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Caz10 · 24/02/2008 23:55

oh you are wonderful, thank you so much!!

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MommaFeelgood · 25/02/2008 21:55

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Caz10 · 26/02/2008 10:11

tomorrow!!
had to pay to go private otherwise we'd have been waiting a month lets hope its worth it.
time would seem to have stopped since we got the appointment...

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lazycat · 26/02/2008 14:13

Haven't read much of this thread, but just wanted to sympathise - have had so much from HV about dd's slow weight gain and am thinking of making a complaint about it to the surgery.

Eventually I saw a lovely GP who had children herself. I've learned that it's always worth trying to see older, female HVs and GPs who've had children themselves, as they're a lot less hysterical.

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Caz10 · 26/02/2008 17:21

thanks lzaycat! what did your nice GP say?

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verylittlecarrot · 26/02/2008 18:55

good luck tomorrow, Caz

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MommaFeelgood · 26/02/2008 21:42

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lazycat · 27/02/2008 16:31

Nice GP weighed dd (who happened to have put on a bit of weight that week) and said she seemed fine. dd had had a cold, and as soon as the cold went, dd started to make up for lost time. Nice GP said that infections often cause lack of weight gain - for example, urine infections (though these are apparently rare in bf babies).

How are you and your LO?

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lazycat · 27/02/2008 16:31

Nice GP weighed dd (who happened to have put on a bit of weight that week) and said she seemed fine. dd had had a cold, and as soon as the cold went, dd started to make up for lost time. Nice GP said that infections often cause lack of weight gain - for example, urine infections (though these are apparently rare in bf babies).

How are you and your LO?

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lazycat · 27/02/2008 16:31

Nice GP weighed dd (who happened to have put on a bit of weight that week) and said she seemed fine. dd had had a cold, and as soon as the cold went, dd started to make up for lost time. Nice GP said that infections often cause lack of weight gain - for example, urine infections (though these are apparently rare in bf babies).

How are you and your LO?

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Caz10 · 27/02/2008 16:44

just about to go to the paed...aaargh....

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Caz10 · 27/02/2008 19:39

well ladies and gents...i heart my paediatrician

what a sensible man!

dd is FINE!

he took such a thorough history, and asked really sensible bf-ing questions, like how quickly we'd got bf-ing established in the hospital, did i feed from both sides etc.

he used the thrive line acetates and showed us that even when dd dropped weight she still hadn't crossed any thrive lines.

he mentioned her "finding her own place" on the curve.

he understood the affect top ups could have.

he ALSO mentioned the affect that people uneccessarily undermining your confidence could have on your bf-ng .

he saw no reason to be giving dd formula.

he advised that she should only be weighed monthly, or fortnightly at the very most.

my faith is restored! i was about to say in the NHS but we had to pay to see this one...worth it though

basically we knew all of these things, but much nicer to hear an expert telling you them.

i can't say i'm instantly going to stop worrying, and i still feel annoyed/defensive when people tell me what a "little doll" she is. might get a t-shirt for her that says "my paed says I'm just fine thank you"

PHEW!!

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tiktok · 27/02/2008 23:06

for Caz and for Caz's paed

You might want to think about writing a note about some of the HCPs who have undermined you and hit your confidence over the past weeks, too.....??

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morocco · 27/02/2008 23:15

really pleased for you, hope this helps build up your confidence in what a great job you are doing

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SparklyGothKat · 27/02/2008 23:17

Yah!! Caz! what a nice man. So you have dropped the formula too?? We can do this together..

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RedJools · 27/02/2008 23:19

Hooray!! I'm so glad someone sensible saw you at last! . Now just get on with enjoying this little creature! (before she turns into a big 4 yo about to go to school. sob!)

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SparklyGothKat · 27/02/2008 23:19

we are also not weighing each week anymore, or even fornightly, I am getting Callum weighed when I want too

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MommaFeelgood · 27/02/2008 23:26

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MommaFeelgood · 27/02/2008 23:27

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SparklyGothKat · 27/02/2008 23:28

MFG, I also must write to the local PCT about my treatment of BF. Maybe we can work out a letter together Caz

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Caz10 · 29/02/2008 18:09

thanks all!

i have to say i am a tiny bit hesitant at complaining...mainly because i am a total wimp. we will have to deal with the HV more or less until dd goes to school for jags and development checks - also i suppose if a non-bfing issue were to arise. I don't like the thought of being the mum who complained...she is enough of a b to us at the best of times (sorry, would never normally say something like that but she's been downright appalling).

but when i stop to think about it all i'm furious! more so at the GP actually. hmmmm

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lionbeast · 29/02/2008 19:10

way to go caz xxx what a sensible man !
im so pleased for you. xxx

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Caz10 · 29/02/2008 20:25

thanks lionbeast! and SGK - yay!! for you and your ds too! are we both in formula-free zones now?!

however (whispers...) i know i'll want to get dd weighed next week just to check! hard habit to break!

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lionbeast · 29/02/2008 20:41

lol i know what you mean about the desire to get the baby weighed, if i ever have another baby, ill get a cattle prod, and whnever i get the urge to weigh ill cattle prod myself!lol

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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