Did anyone choose not to express?

[twizzlesx]

Hi, I will be a FTM expecting my baby in about a months time.

I am planning to breastfeed. I like the idea of also occasionally expressing for if I am away from the baby or so that my husband can do a feed.

However, after reading about the cleaning and sterilising and storing rules for expressed milk I feel quite overwhelmed at the amount of work involved vs just breastfeeding - I'm also a bit anxious about food hygiene as it is and I think I would stress about properly sterilising

Did anyone EBF and not pump at all, if so how did this work - could you ever be away from your baby for more than an hour?

Or is the sterilising process actually okay and I would get used to it?

You'll get used to it, just like everyone does who doesn't exclusively BF.

Yes the reality for my friends who exclusively BF was being tied to baby until they were at least weaning, but that suited them mostly.
If that works fro you, do it. You can also reconsider expressing later on

I expressed a couple of times and hated it. Also it is a lot easier to breastfeed than express - the hormones you get from holding the baby increase the milk. I couldn’t get much out from expressing.

There is nothing “wrong” with formula. Yes breast milk is better, but if it’s just the occasional bottle of formula it won’t “undo” all the benefits the baby is getting from breast milk the rest of the time.

My DS was a terrible sleeper so he used to have 1 bottle of formula in the evening downstairs with DH so I could get a bit of sleep.

I think you should just see how you go, you don’t need to make any decisions or buy pumps etc now.

I expressed with DD1, but she wouldn't take a bottle so I was pretty tied to her for months.
With DD2 I never had time to express, with the extra burden of looking after DD1! So I EBF both until 6m. It was fine. I never went out away from the baby, but it just meant I did everything with baby in tow.
The sterilising and storage was fine though. Eventually I just used the expressed milk in recipes.

I absolutely hated expressing! I did it for my first for a few weeks and then thought what's the point. For my second I didn't express at all. It does mean being tied to the baby, unless you're happy to give formula

I BF four babies for at least 18 months each, but could never express a worthwhile amount. I tried every known way of doing it, but it took hours to get a few ml and just wasn't worth it. I never really felt like I was losing out on anything, I just planned things around taking the baby with me.

I haaaaaaaaaaaate expressing. And it doesn’t give you a break: it transfers the work. I could express a bottle for someone else to do a feed later, giving me a break later… but expressing is work so I’m just doing work to have a break. And if you’re feeding on demand there’s no way of knowing, especially in the early weeks, when your baby is going to roar for milk.

DS is five months and can go 2-2.5 hours between feeds now so I will often give him a full feed then hand him to DP and go for a walk or whatever. A full feed: feed, wind, feed again (same side), wind, feed again (same side), wind, feed (other side) wind, and so on til they refuse. With DD I made the mistake of just winding and moving on after that first go, so she’d keep snacking hourly.

Once they take to solids, and if you can get them sleeping in the evening and settling for dad if they do wake up, without a feed, no need to express! Snacks in the day, or sleep/cuddles in the evening. Though I’ve yet to get DS sleeping in the evening… Once I committed to no night feeds before midnight with DD, I was free to go out! That was March 2020 though, haha.

I tried expressing a couple of times but DS never took a bottle. It does mean you are tied to the baby but that sounds worse than it is, I didn’t feel tied to the baby at all.

After first few weeks, he was feeding roughly every 2 hours. Then from 5/6 months I think it was more like every 3 hours if busy. It stayed every 2-4 hours until 1 year.

At 5 months, DH and I went out for lunch while my mum had baby, we were out for 3hrs with no problem. I think we did 4 hours at around 8 months. Not a lot for some but okay for us.

Obviously some babies go longer than this, particularly if going to nursery etc.

You’ll find what works for you.

I never expressed.
But both babies really took to weaning, so by 7 months, I could easily leave them for a couple of hours.

You don’t need to express at all. I fed DD1 till she was 2, and I’m now feeding newborn DD2 and never have. I have a Hakka pump to help when I’m engorged, but not one I use to get milk for a bottle. It’s totally fine.

With my first I did it a couple of times thinking it would be liberating but it was such a hassle. Pumping away for ages to get a few ml of milk. It wasn't worth it for me. With my second I disbt bother expressing.

I couldn't get anything from expressing with my eldest. She had some formula when she was bigger.

I've expressed once for my current baby, but it's so time consuming and so much work, I'm really not a fan. Fortunately, he's a portable little guy.

I was surprised when I had my first how many people expressed, tbh. I'd no idea it was so popular.

Expressing is so much more work than just directly feeding. I tried it a little with my first and didn't bother at all with my second. I now have twins and have never even bought bottles, dummies, or a pump for them. They were 100% directly breastfed until they started solid food at 6 months. So you can definitely do it for one baby. Although no, you won't be able to leave them. You can take them pretty much anywhere with you though.

I didn't really express for either of mine, mostly because I hated it. For the first few months I couldn't get away from baby for more than a couple of hours. By 4-6 months I could get away for long enough for lunch or cinema etc.
Once they were older, say 8m - 1 year I could get away for the whole evening, baby could have real food and water. If away for a while I'd become slightly engorged and just hand express to comfort.
I did find being able to hand express a bit was useful for when they were sick and unable to feed, I could get out a few ml and syringe feed.
You don't know what your experience will be yet, but you'll find your way!

Yes I never expressed but I was a single parent so wasn’t able to be away from my child anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️ obviously babies get older it’s only the first few months they need feeding often so won’t last forever but I being a solo parent I never had that option to be away anyway

You’re not advised to in the first few weeks anyway, so just don’t worry about it for now, if you’d rather not think about it.

I breastfed 3 children for a minimum of 3.5 years and I never got the hang of expressing. I did express when I was back at work but that was for my comfort mainly, as despite my best efforts they never took bottles and I could never get more than a couple of oz anyway - even when I was tandem feeding a toddler and a newborn and had absolutely masses of milk. I was never really away from them before they were established on solids anyway and once they were, they could manage with other foods and water until I was back.
I think some people find it really easy to express, in which case, great, crack on. But for others it is a huge burden and in those circumstances I would suggest it isn't always worth the effort, especially with an older baby where there are more alternatives. I don't think it's the sterilisation etc that is the issue generally, but the time spent actually pumping, unless you are lucky enough to be able to fill a bottle in 10 mins. As with pretty much everything in parenting, the answer is probably not to have too set ideas but to try it and see.

I expressed with DD1 from about 5 months to allow DH to take her out for the afternoon etc, and then a lot more from 8 months when I went back to work (although only for a few weeks because then lockdown hit and we were all back home anyway).

It was a bit of a faff, and not very comfortable for me, but it was nice to be able to have some time to myself without worrying about when she'd need feeding, although obviously I still needed to pump when she was away from me. The sterilising process is fine, as is the storing. The main issue I had was finding the time to actually do it, while also caring for a baby. Especially when babies are little the idea of fitting in time to express in between the other feeds wasn't very appealing. I started to do it when she dropped her 10pm-ish feed, I'd express then instead. I wouldn't have done it from a younger age as the feeding was less predictable and more frequent.

With my first I only started expressing when he was 8 months and I returned to work.

With my second I never expressed, she never had a bottle at all. I fed her until she was 3.5 (I was working and she was in childcare from 12 months, she just adapted to less milk on those days).

I expressed for the first 5 months as my son would never latch.

The sterilising bit was fine tbh. You just wash up the bottles normally and then put them into a sterilising tank for a bit.

What I hated was it being double the work, expressing time + feeding. Plus I could only ever get out 40% of what my DS needed. Next time apart from initial colostrum, I’ll be going straight to formula.

You may want to try expressing mainly for situations where you may need or want to be away from your baby for day. Eg my friend expressed so she could get the train to come and help me try on wedding dresses. My other friend also expressed while in hospital with apendicitis.

I did with my first but it was such a faff and DS didn't drink the milk anyway. With my second I used the hakka milk collector which was good for the odd occasion but I didn't use an actual breast pump, I couldn't be bothered with the faff. Once they are weaning they can be left for a few hours without milk. My DS started nursery at 9 months and refused all milk there, he just fed more through the night.

I've expressed for both mine, DC1 for 7 months and DC2 for a year. Mixed feeding DC1 from 6 months and have been able to skip formula altogether for DC2.

I did it because I wanted to ebf for as long as possible but had to return to work. I started daily from when they were 2 weeks old and did it for as long as I could, building up a stash for when I couldn't be there and expressing at work (from 3 months for DC1 and 6 months for DC2) to maintain my milk production.

Honestly, hated every minute of pumping, washing bottles, measuring, putting in little labeled freezer bags, working out how much was there and how much I needed to defrost and when. It was the worst of both worlds, completely miserable. But I'm also very proud of myself and my body and what I could do for my beautiful, healthy children. That makes it worth it for me.

In my experience, far easier just to breastfeed. I had to pump for my first (taken straight to PICU at birth), and it was a pain. As soon as baby could suckle, I ditched the pump. Fed both babies for a year each, gradually introducing a sippy cup, so I could avoid all the bottle hassle too.

The opposite. Couldn’t breastfeed but expressed all of DD’s milk for a year. Best and worst of both worlds.

Most of my friends breastfed without ever expressing though.

Didn't express with either of mine!

I think you have to see how you go as everyone feels differently but I found it a complete pain. For dc3 I didn’t do it at all as it was too much hassle. As pp said once they get a bit older they can manage a couple of hours without and then once they’re established on solids even longer. If you think oh its x many months I’ll be tied to baby it seems like a lot BUT even with multiple dc is a short period of your whole life and it’s can be a really lovely experience for you. I liked to think me and the baby were a wee team for that time