Did anyone choose not to express?

[twizzlesx]

Hi, I will be a FTM expecting my baby in about a months time.

I am planning to breastfeed. I like the idea of also occasionally expressing for if I am away from the baby or so that my husband can do a feed.

However, after reading about the cleaning and sterilising and storing rules for expressed milk I feel quite overwhelmed at the amount of work involved vs just breastfeeding - I'm also a bit anxious about food hygiene as it is and I think I would stress about properly sterilising

Did anyone EBF and not pump at all, if so how did this work - could you ever be away from your baby for more than an hour?

Or is the sterilising process actually okay and I would get used to it?

Expressing doesn’t work for everyone, and not all babies will happily take a bottle.

I fed DC1 for 6 months and wanted to feed DC2 for longer. I was lucky to have a good supply and was able to express a lot of milk. I ended up with lots in the freezer but then DC2 really didn’t want the bottle. I’m sure we would have got there in the end if I’d persisted but I didn’t need to go back to work at that point and seeing DS get so red in the face and so upset about the bottle was hard and it didn’t seem like a battle I needed to fight just so that I could have more time away from him. So I just stuck with the EBF until he weaned. Overall it was a really positive experience and I look back on it very fondly but did sometimes feel a bit trapped and would have liked to have had the option to use a bottle.

Personally I loved breastfeeding but found expressing a massive faff. Not so much the storing etc, but the actual expressing, which took ages (much longer than an actual breastfeed) and was so boring.

Honestly OP, if I had my time again I wouldn't bother with expressing and if I was away from my baby or DH wanted to do a feed I'd just use formula. I EBF my DC for months, I don't think the odd bottle of formula would have done any harm!

My son never took a bottle. I think he was about 3 months when I first went to the gym on my own for an hour. Then I can't remember when but maybe by 4-5 months he would reliably do a long stint of sleep from about 7-10 pm so I was able to go out for dinner, I just didn't go too far and was willing to cut the night short if he woke and needed feeding, but I never had to do that. After that you can go longer and longer between feeds and start to cut them out as you wean.

So I guess just see how you feel and what sort of routine you end up with?

I never, ever found the time or inclination to express. I also produced v low quantities of milk when I did, despite DS’ weight being great from direct breastfeeding. DS was a bottle refuser, but if next baby will take the odd bottle I’ll just give formula instead of expressing I think.

I absolutely hated expressing. If I needed to leave the baby for longer than an hour or so he would have formula.

I ebf and had a big ten pound baby which I think helped with the following but.... by about 3 months we had a very clear feeding pattern of when he woke up, about half seven or eight, midday, four ish and then bedtime. In between these times I knew he was satisfied and would mostly sleep. I do definitely think him being big made this happen sooner than it maybe otherwise would but tbf my second DS who I ebf till two months and then bottle fed as he didn't get on with it was the same and not quite as big. Who knows. I found it easy to make a routine from a young age though and then could plan my day around it and never expressed.

For dd1 I did try to express, didn't do much, had single serve formula cartons for a short period I left her (around 6 months) but she wasn't keen on it, mum decided tea was better and dd loved it. Dd2 wouldn't take a bottle anyway. So ebf until 15 months when I transitioned her onto cows milk

I never did, the only time bf worked out for me was on baby 3 so I didn't really have anywhere to be that wasn't child related. So leaving him wasn't an issue. Once he was eating solids I could leave him for a while, he would just have water and food but under 6 months he was with me all the time. Expressing was terrible and I could never get much out.

I didn’t express until I went back to work at 13months. After the first few months I was able to leave DS, I would feed him then go out and OH would meet me wherever I was after 3hours

Thanks so much everyone.

I hadn't actually considered that the difficulty of expressing would be the work involved in actually expressing rather than sorting out the bottles etc!

Also that is true that if I do need to be away from baby at all I could have formula as a back up.

Finally thanks for the encouragement that being tied to the baby for a few months is not a negative thing. Im looking forward to the baby being here and working out what works for us

With my older I was back at work a couple of day a week early on, so expressed regularly. With my youngest I was a SAHM with a toddler to wrangle, so didn't have the time or reason to express.

Both had their pros and cons but were overall fine. Sterilising was just bung everything in a plastic box with some water and put it in the microwave. You get use to it pretty fast. Having baby with you 24/7 was also fine, especially if you get on with a sling so can do stuff hands free while they contact nap. Once they star having food at around 6-8 months you can leve them for a couple of hours between feeds, and we also got the odd bottle of premade formula as a back up incase I got held up.

I tried but couldn't. Bit of a pain to be always the one who had to feed-but it's only a few months of your life.

I ebf dd ( bf till she was 3) and doing the same with my baby ds now. I tried expressing once and didn’t like the sensation of it. I guess I never had the need to either.
There’s other ways for partners to bond with their children besides feeding, dh puts the carrier on & takes ds for a walk several times a week for instance.

Try not to overthink it now, wait till your baby is here. You will know what is best.

I had no choice but to express with DC1 because of feeding problems. DH was in charge of sterilising bottles and pump in early days. It's not that hard really - get a steriliser, put it in, wash hands before using. Bear in mind that BM is antibacterial and your boob isn't exactly sterile either.

Really I'd advise you to focus on BF and establishing that before you think about expressing. In the early days you're not that likely to want to be far from your baby, and BF directly is a different ballgame to expressing (I found expressing quite unpleasant, and boobs often produce less milk for a pump than a baby! It's hormonal).

I'd say pumps are better for when a baby is maybe 3-4 months and you want to start going out a bit on your own.

I tried expressing on a couple of occasions for my now-16 month old, but he always refused bottles so never carried on with it. I'll be honest, I didn't have any time away from my baby until he was 13 months old, when I returned to work part-time. By a year old, it is easier because they can drink cows milk, and obviously have solids too. It all depends whether your baby will take to a bottle. I was told not to try a bottle or dummy whilst breastfeeding was being established, on the first 6 weeks. But because I was told this, he never accepted either, as he just wasn't used to them!

I thought it sounded a nightmare on paper and cried when I read the instructions for the breast pump, I was terrified tbh!!

I perseveres when my
Nipples were agony and actually I'm really glad I did. I got into a really good routine with it and was so satisfied to see lovely clean sterilised bottles of my milk in the fridge for my baby.
It gave me a lot of freedom and DH loved being able to get stuck in and give me a break.

Also meant that dd was used to a bottle so from 5/6 months I could go away for a day or even overnight and daddy was fine and could offer breast milk or a top up of formula

What I don't understand-and I know I'm going to sound like N old crone here-is the encouragement to express early. In my day (bangs stick for emphasis) unless there was some sort of issue that made feeding extra difficult we were advised not to express until feeding was well established at 6 weeksish. Nothing stimulates supply like a suckling baby and life's tough enough with a newborn without having to express as well.

I think it’s some kind of misguided idea that you can simply express and then someone else would be able to look after the baby while you have a break. As if that wouldn’t be more work. It’s kind of giving the illusion of choice that you can breastfeed and not be tied to your baby.

I’ve also seen it suggested that you could express between feeds as a way to increase supply (again misguided) as a baby is much more effective.

With my eldest I did a load of expressing, didn't get much and it was a massive pains. Went to a show when she was about 4 or 5 months and spent the whole time with uncomfortable boobs and worrying. With my youngest I just didn't bother, only went places he could come too and just thought 'it's xxx months of my life' (and then covid happened so didn't go out anyway!!). I just couple be arsed with the faff. They're now primary aged and I went away with friends last weekend so it's not forever.

True but with DC1 I followed the “wait six weeks” advice by which point DH was back at work and we were exhausted and couldn’t get her to take a bottle, and DD was a hopeless boob addict. All my friends who successfully expressed and had evenings out and lives started on day 3 or something insane: although equally they all had textbook easy births and chill babies. But it made sense to establish expressing and bottles while their partners were off work to help to begin with.

I also never could figure out the advice to both “just put the baby in a sling all day if she’s unsettled” and “express so DH can give you a break”. Too much boob-adjacent paraphernalia. I did have some luck with a Hakaa suction pump and DD kicked it off. I did cry over spilled milk!

I expressed with my first, but only because I went back to work when she was 5 months old.

I started at about 3 months and froze it so I built up some decent supplies in the freezer before I went back and then kept them up by pumping once a day at work and on non-working days. It was quite time-consuming and I was less successful as pumping as time went on and I just managed to keep it up until she was one and went onto cow's milk in a cup, with me still feeding her morning and night.

I was lucky that I got on with the pump (hand version), but it was quite slow and a bit of a faff, so I didn't bother with the second. I didn't go back to work until she was 2 so I didn't need to, and it was easier just to feed her myself.

I expressed for the first 6 weeks for DS1 because he was in NICU and fed via tube. Once he was home and got the hang of BF, I never expressed again, too much faff.

I never expressed with DD, she was a bottle refuser in any case. I do remember leaving her with DW when she was 6 months to get my hair cut and coloured but DW had to bring her to me to feed at the hairdressers because she wouldn’t stop screaming! She was a v clingy baby though.

Expressing a pain but it is hard to get a break. Whatever works for you.

Good advice thank you - think I am getting ahead of myself as I've not even begun breastfeeding yet. I think what has brought this on is worrying about breastfeeding in public and thinking that expressed milk would be a good alternative to this. I see it's not that simple and I'm sure I'll gain confidence with feeding in time

I remember I was an older mum with my first and I was desperate for someone to challenge me about bf in public, so I could use my hard won assertiveness to strike a blow for my less confident sisters. Never anything but kindness, cooing, smiles and free cups of tea. It was SO frustrating! You'll be fine, OP, I promise.

@CurlewKate Same! Someone once bought me a pastry and a coffee when I was feeding on a park bench!