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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Has stopping breastfeeding and switching to formula been a positive one for you?

56 replies

damnedifidont · 19/02/2008 10:52

I am breastfeeding 8 week old DS.

It hasnt been an easy breastfeeding relationship, am only continuing really due to guilt at stopping (have posted about this before)

What I would like to do is bottle feed with EBM whilst I can keep it up and formula as and when required.

I am frightened to make this leap purely in case I massively regret it.

I know and believe in all of the benefits of breastfeeding but for one reason or another it is not making me happy and beginning to dominate my relationship with new baby - the weeks are ticking by and I dont feel like Im actually living life with a new baby, feel more like Im just existing feed to feed and ALWAYS running things over in my head.

So........is it always a regrettable decision to make? When I made the decision to stop with the other two it was much easier as I was sure and less racked with guilt!

OP posts:
FAQ · 19/02/2008 10:59

I switched with DS2 (after 5 days!) and a little later with DS3. It was a decision I was happy enough to make - the first few days/weeks after the swap were hard - kept thinking "have I made the right choice for us as a family/DS2/3". But that soon went when I realised that I was happier and my other children were happier at "having mummy back"

peacelily · 19/02/2008 10:59

Well done for bf for 8 weeks you've given your dc a fabulous start in life. It's clear you're trying to think carefully over the options available to you so I can only give you my experience.

I only have one dc my dd 17m. I bf for 4.5 months totally and partially until 6.5 months but it wasn't an easy time for me. I felt the bf dominated everything and I'll confess I hated the total lack of freedom. My dd never settled into a routine with bf still every 1.5/2 hours at 3m old. I thin my struggle with it contributed to me having some (although mild) pnd.

Part of me wished I'd been less proud and changed over at 8 weeks (because this is when it began to make me miserable too) and part of me wished I'd been more chilled out about the whole thing and jsut carried on for a year!

I'm sure whatever you decide will be the best for you and your baby, just don't make yourself miserable

spinspinsugar · 19/02/2008 11:07

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nickytwotimes · 19/02/2008 11:09

Like yo usay, we all know bf is the best and you have given your baby the best start. I struggled with bfing and managed 2 weeks, then gave ebm for 2 weeks until it dried up. I was heart broken at the time and felt like the worst Mum in the world! But, it was becoming a choice between bf baby and depressed Mummy or ff baby and happy Mummy and I got over it. You have to do what works best for you all and try ro forgive yourself for not being "perfect". Ds is 19 mths now, and it is a distant memory. If we have dc 2, I hope to be more successful but will not be so upset if it doesn't go well. BTW, I do know someone whose milk continued to come for months after she stopped bfing and was just expressing. Some women are natural lactators!

katewilson13 · 19/02/2008 14:00

I bf for 5 weeks and changing to bottle feeding was the best thing I have ever done. Not only was it not working for DS (not putting on that much weight) but it was making me miserable and depressed. So much so that it was in danger of destroying the very fragile relationship I was only just starting to forge with my DS. The sight of him guzzling down the first bottle almost broke my heart - poor little lamb was starving. Breastfeeding had been hard and unsuccessful for him too. Well done for bf for as long as you have. Think about what is going to be best for you and your child. You've given 8 weeks of breastfeeding which is excellent. If it's time to stop, it's time to stop - you will make the right choice.

Louise76 · 19/02/2008 14:09

Hello, I just started a thread yesterday looking for advice on how to stop breastfeeding. My dd is 10 weeks old and I am experiencing many of the same things as you - one of the few reasons I want to continue bf is the guilt and pressure to do it which is not the best of reasons. I feel guilty about giving but as you said nickytwotimes I'm going to end up with pnd if I keep going and having a happy mummy is surely better all round. If it is making you miserable like me I would say gradually stop and replace with ebm and formula. I'm looking forward to being able to enjoy my baby more rather than just thinking 'oh no she wants fed AGAIN'

Original poster
damnedifidont · 19/02/2008 14:43

I have just given him a formula feed and he took 5.5oz and is now sleeping.

Trying very hard not to deduce anything from this!!!

OP posts:
smallwhitecat · 19/02/2008 14:55

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tiktok · 19/02/2008 15:15

smallwhitecat, I agree....

Judging what a baby needs from the amount in a bottle that he will take is not a good thing.

Newborn babies, for instance, will take a 30-50 ml bottle and even more, sometimes.

This is unphysiological. We know breastfed babies take minute amounts in comparison with this - maybe 5-10 mls at a time only.

Babies like to suck. The teat on the bottle gives a 'super-stimulus' to the sucking reflex. They may carry on glugging long after their appetite is sated.

It's a bit like me with ice cream

tiktok · 19/02/2008 15:16

And to clarify - babies will often suck on a breast because they like it, but they can control the flow and the amount from the breast far better than they can with a bottle.

Original poster
damnedifidont · 19/02/2008 15:32

so what about when baby is very unsettled despite BF on demand then has some formula, settles right down and sleeps?

OP posts:
Karen999 · 19/02/2008 15:37

Whatever you decide, dont feel guilty. Pat yourself on the back. You tried it and have been doing well so what is there to feel guilty about?

I bf dd1 for 2 days! I bf dd2 for 3 months as was slightly better educated this time, but then switched to ff......have no regrets at all.

Do whatever you are most happy with.....

tiktok · 19/02/2008 16:01

damned, I appreciate the apparent dilemma.

But if a baby is hungry after a breastfeed, first thing to do would be to offer another breastfeed....babies can happily have three or four or more 'sides'

I am not denying that sometimes, this is not enough,

But the 'proof' that it is not enough does not lie in whether the baby goes to sleep or not.

If you want to give formula, then of course you can give formula - you have the power, and the right, to decide what weight to give the different arguments for and against.

These are unique to individual mothers.

There may be times when a mother's mental health is at stake, for instance, or times when breastfeeding is going so poorly, the baby is clearly badly nourished. Then of course the positive points of the use of formula may well outweigh the negative effects on health....and there are lots of situations where it is not as black and white as that, but somewhat grey

But a baby sleeping soundly after a bottle of formula shows nothing....truly.

BrummieOnTheRun · 19/02/2008 16:06

I've had experience of breastfeeding up to 7 months, and also of quitting at 8-10 weeks.

I can't say I didn't regret giving up breastfeeding at times, but not for any emotional or health reason, simply because formula is expensive and incredibly time-consuming: washing & sterilising kit, mixing formula, expressing... It's a pain in the ass at times and you'll have mad panics when you've stayed out longer than you should and don't have a bottle with you.

However, for me, the change was the right decision at the time. Feeding stopped dominating my day (I was struggling with 2 other small children at the time) and I got my body and my independence back. And my DH was able to be far more involved.

The first 2 months bf are the hardest, however. It does get easier. But if you don't feel able to give it 4 more weeks, then don't beat yourself up. Formula isn't spiked with crack cocaine as some would have you believe.

Original poster
damnedifidont · 19/02/2008 16:08

thanks tiktok, I appreciate your experienced advice.

I wont read into anything about the sleep (but enjoy it all the same)

Still need to consider things carefully but Im leaning towards ff as my mental health whilst not seriously in jeapordy is starting to be a bit wobbly!

OP posts:
tiktok · 19/02/2008 16:32

"Formula isn't spiked with crack cocaine as some would have you believe."

?????????????

WTF?

Please quote me anything, anywhere, which justifies such a daft statement, Brummie.

Clearly, you are exaggerrating for effect....but on what grounds?

spugs · 19/02/2008 17:08

i switched with dd1 after 10 days after finding it very painful, our relationship was definitly suffering for it as i didnt want to pick her up incase she wanted feeding. the change to bottle was not something i regretted as such but i would have loved to have been able to breast feed for longer. with dd2 pain kicked in after 24 hours so i stopped straight away. must admit the early day were a hell off a lot easier formula feeding then breast feeding. im pregnant with dd3 whos due in 5 weeks and im going for 3 rd time lucky, but i know that if its best for me and baby then i'll stop. i felt very relieved when i made the decision to stop with my last 2 which i think means that i knew deep down that it was the right decision to make for me.

however 8 weeks is a fab amount of time to keep going for, i would love to be able to manage that with dd3. i hope your happy with whatever decision you make

lolliepops · 19/02/2008 17:23

my friend is going through the same dilema atm

i am sure you will come to the right decision in the end! x

oysterpots · 19/02/2008 17:32

I bf for 6 weeks and found it absolutely awful and not improving. Also had misdiagnosed thrush, which GP refused to believe even exists .

I switched to mixed feeding and carried on giving 2 bf a day until DS was 4 months. When the bf was going well I felt a lot of sadness that I had dropped down to 2 feeds. But there were plenty of times to remind me that I did what I had to do.

But mixed feeding, although not ideal, does give you some flexibility - if bf improved considerably it's not impossible to get back to if you made that choice.

I don't regret my decision, and would make it again when I have DC2, despite never considering not bf before I'd tried it!

TotalChaos · 19/02/2008 17:42

Expressing and bottlefeeding will be even more hassle than bfing, you'll get the worst of all worlds, as it's so timeconsuming expressing and sorting out appropriate paraphernalia in addition to actually feeding.

I switched to formula when DS was 4 weeks old (had a very poor start with lots of formula top ups, and wasn't advised to taper off mixed feeding, just go straight to full breast with predictably bad results). I have to confess to feeling sheer joy with DS's first bottle that feeding him didn't have to hurt me. I had great intentions of expressing as much as I could, but I was too exhausted to express more than a few bottles (DH seemed to have male equivalent of PND, so he was very little help with feeding and babycare).

bellabelly · 19/02/2008 17:43

I felt that switching was right for me after 4 weeks of BFing and pumping. I don't regret my decision at all.

TiddlerTiddler · 19/02/2008 18:16

I am afraid I have to disagree a bit with TotalChaos.

While expressing and bottlefeeding EBM IS the worst of both worlds in terms of work, I found it a happy medium the first time around when I also suffered from misdiagnosed thrush and had to give up BF.

I pumped for 3 months. I was lucky as seemed to have good supply and could pump 8oz quite quickly. Yes, it was a lot of hassle and yes, I did give one bottle of formula a day. BUT................ it did save me a LOT of guilt by ensuring that my LO had BM for as long as possible.

With only one baby it was something that, while a pain in the ass and a lot of hassle was achievable and in my case a lot preferable to simply abandoning BF and going straight to FF when I was already feeling terribly guilty about how bad BF had gone and what a crap mother I was as a result.

So, in summary... time consuming.. yes. But a potential alternative to abandoning BM completely straight away if you don't mind investing the time.

Pruners · 19/02/2008 18:27

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Pruners · 19/02/2008 18:32

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moodymammy · 19/02/2008 18:55

i breastfed for 8 weeks and then switched gradually to formula which took about 2 weeks. best thing i ever did, ds sleeps better and i have my body back. i thought that it would be a hassle what with all the sterilising etc but it really isn't. especially as now ds is ff he doesn't want a night feed. i switched purely because i was so tired with the 3 hourly feeds through the night and i wanted time to myself! selfish maybe but my son is happy and i am happy. please don't feed guilty, you are not a feeding machine!