Has stopping breastfeeding and switching to formula been a positive one for you?

[damnedifidont]

I am breastfeeding 8 week old DS.

It hasnt been an easy breastfeeding relationship, am only continuing really due to guilt at stopping (have posted about this before)

What I would like to do is bottle feed with EBM whilst I can keep it up and formula as and when required.

I am frightened to make this leap purely in case I massively regret it.

I know and believe in all of the benefits of breastfeeding but for one reason or another it is not making me happy and beginning to dominate my relationship with new baby - the weeks are ticking by and I dont feel like Im actually living life with a new baby, feel more like Im just existing feed to feed and ALWAYS running things over in my head.

So........is it always a regrettable decision to make? When I made the decision to stop with the other two it was much easier as I was sure and less racked with guilt!

I think your thread title is going to attract lots of posters for whom the answer is "yes", and while I'm sure that is true for them (and I am for them being happy with the choices they've made), it does seem that you are genuinely worried, as you say, about regretting any decision to stop. I'd echo everyone on here who's said well done for getting to 8 weeks, it's a great achievement. I also had trouble bf-ing ds in the early weeks and read lots on here about how it does get easier. Not sure I believed any of it at the time, but it did get easier (for me; perhaps it might for you, as feeds often get a bit shorter and might settle into more of a pattern and, I suppose, I just kind of got more used to it). We're still going strong at 4mo and I'm coping with it so much better than I was at the beginning.
I'm so sorry to hear you're not happy and hope that, whichever way you go, things get easier for you.

PS my bf lo is now sleeping through the night too [smug-and-still-slightly-amazed emoticon] - perhaps they just do it when they're ready!

i would happy to continue bf, indeed would love to but it just doesnt seem to be working out and tgis is what depresses me - feel like for the hard work in last 8 wks we should both be happier with it.

its way different this time than with my othr bf child

something about it doesnt seem to suit ds, not sure if its latch, flow or what.

he is not content at the breast, pulling off, slipping off, squirming the discontent after feeds.

doc reckons reflux - another plus for bottle as much easier to administer gaviscon that way.

i have 2 ebm feeds ready for tomorrow.

Glad to read other people's experiences about switching to FF. I'm really struggling to get BF right (5 week old first born daughter), and have felt I can really idenitify with the dread of her waking up and wanting feeding AGAIN. I went to BF clinic yesterday to get help with latch, positioning etc which really helped, but then felt like I lost it again today. I called NCT helpline and had a good chat with a very helpful lady whilst my DD was howling in the background. She did point out that ff brings it's own problems with risk of infections/sickness increased, so basically seems that there's no easy answer!

I think the worst thing is thinking that I'm not really bonding with DD becase of her demands on me which is a bit frightening but I have concluded that it's still early days and have resloved to slow down with everything else that doesn't involve feeding (housework etc), and ask for help. This way I can spend more time just cuddling her when she doesn't want to feed which just might save my sanity!

hi damnedifidont, so sorry that bf is still not going well for you. think i have "spoken" to you before...i am at 10wks now and i have to say i never thought i would get this far, even 2 weeks ago.

i have to say it has been a total bl##dy nightmare and i really sympathise with you. i got off to what i thought was a swinging start, but evidently my latch was crap as it started to really hurt...then it started to REALLY hurt, i was screaming in pain everytime she latched on. got help with that anf thought things were on the up, only to discover dd was losing weight, so cue a whole new world of stress re frequency of feeds, supply etc.

i've had a box of formula in my cupboard for weeks, have made up many, many bottles and poured all but a few down the sink! still not 100% decided that i will keep going, but like you i really worry about the guilt. my issues surrounding bf at the mo have led me to feel the most stressed/down/unhinged i have ever felt about anything, however i do worry that the guilt might be even worse.

at the moment i am keeping going because:

• it is best for her
• i am scared of the guilt and future emotional/psychological repercussions

• i keep thinking that it might get better one day soon!

- pure stubborness i think

dd feeds for 1-2hrs at a time, and is cluster feeding approx 5pm-midnight, and i really do hate every minute of it. but taking it a day at a time has got us this far, so who knows?!

something that has helped me keep at it (and i'm assuming that part of you DOES want to keep at it? ignore this if not! ) was something someone on here said about never again being able to look down and see their lo's little head as they feed away...much as i am sick of it just now, i occasionally try to imagine what it would be like never to bf again and that makes me feel just sad enough to do one more feed (i really am doing this one feed at a time!).

maybe that will help you too, i don't know.

lazyhen i am dreading feeds a LITTLE less now...i am not saying it is a breeze but looking back to 5 weeks now things are better.

good luck!

Just a comment really - you seem to feel you have to jump one way or the other. What about mixed feeding? I found exclusive BF was not helping my mental state (not a happy mummuy happy baby team) so added in some FF from week 3. We have gone more and more to bottle but still do at least 3 BF's a day and enjoy them. I realise this may not go on indefinately as it will be dependant on maintaining milk supply but the time is has taken (been working for 4 weeks now) has given me time to adjust to giving up BF to the point where I am now happy that at some point it will naturally come to an end. Since I have mixed I have been so much happier that it has been well worth it, it has also helped with the guilt as I feel DD is still getting some breastmilk.

That sounds like a good option - Do you give the FF? I just wondered whether if the baby can smell breastmilk it makes it tricky?

I was having to pump as I could not breast feed. My life was one long round of pumping, feeding, washing infected c-sec wound, lying under a fan to keep wound dry, pumping, repeat as necessary!!

I was depressed and housebound.

I felt AWFUL stopping convinced I would be judged, but after 3rd infection at 14 weeks resuting in throwing away yet more precious breastmilk, I abruptly stopped. I had enough. I spent 2 weeks feeling guilty and emotional and pronouncing loudly, "If anyones got anything to say about it they can just f**k off!"

No-one did!

After that I felt soooo much better.

Having said that I still plan to try again with next bebe but will write my self a letter when I am normal to be read when I have gone a bit loopy saying, "it's ok to stop."

lol at trebuchet "when i am normal"

bf-ing really does mnake you lose the plot doesn't it? well, it has for me

by the way i hope that doesn't sound flippant, i am massively impressed that you managed to pump for so long.

Well since I last posted she has breastfed all yesterday evening, overnight and this morning and has had 3 x EBM bottle feeds.

We both seem more settled and content!

I think if I can I will keep up with this breastfeeding overnight and expressing with the odd formula feed - I dont even know why it feels better for me, but it does so I will go with it!

Glad to hear it, damnedifidont. You are allowed to be settled and content as well as her!

Caz10, thanks for that, I was a pumping maniac! I think stopping was actually inevitable though because my milk production was getting less and less, poss because there was no bebe sucking to encourage it on. Gald to hear I wasn't the only one to lose the plot!

I've really struggled with BFing 7 week old DS - his latch was as good as could be with a tongue tie (kept on losing suction) and it still hurt after 6 weeks, so I decided to move onto feeding him EBM.

This has made a brilliant difference to me, he's going for longer between feeds (although still cluster feeding in the evenings). It is a bit of a faff expressing and sterilising, but I still spend less time doing that than I did BFing. DS would spend an hour feeding every 2 hours ish, while now it takes me 10mins to express enough for two feeds and about 15 minutes per feed every 2 and a half to three hours. I probably spend about 15 minutes a day washing bottles and sterilising them.

I've just invested in an electric breastpump (was using the Tommee Tippee one before) as was getting RSI from all the pumping and this has sped it all up somewhat. I've got a couple of emergency packs of ready-made formula, but only had to use it once (DS was having a growth spurt and I was drained dry!). It's also great because on a weekend DH gets up at 7am anyway and looks after DS while I have a lie in, and gives him his feed. (I still have to spend 10 minutes at 3/4am expressing though, and can't lie in longer than about 9am as my boobs are literally bursting!). I've also built up a store of EBM in the freezer, so at least if I have to go onto formula for whatever reason, I can still give my DS breastmilk for another few days.

Hope this helps, and just remember the mantra - happy mum, happy baby so do whatever makes you happy

I breast fed for only 3 weeks or so before switching to ff. And like some of the other posters it completely changed my whole outlook.

Up to then I had a screaming, starving little boy who didn't sleep for longer than 2 hours and who hadn't put on any weight, within 24 hours of switching over to ff, he was happy and contented. I was happier and felt much more in control (despite the making up of feeds).

Interestingly I was speaking to someone the other night who had twins, and she said, one twin was easy to bf (happy, contented and gained weight) whilst the other just couldn't do it. She ended up ff the one twin. It does go to show that a lot of the success of bf is dependednt on the baby!

Next time, I'll certainly try my best to bf, but won't feel the quilt if I have to ff again.

quilt not quilt!

My son and I are at 5 weeks, and as I SOOO wanted to bf this time around (ds1 ff) it came as a shock all the pain I first experienced, esp as I had mastitis at one point too. It was then that I introduced one bottle of formula a day (rather night) and it helped me, though I felt like I was cheating in some way to start, but it really helped me get through as at one point I was wincing before he latched on one side, that and I also have a section scar I need to air too and give some healing time for

I was deeply upset recently, very recently when someone asked me how I fed my baby and I said bf, and I admitted to the top up and she replied she would never feed her baby junk food I immediately started thinking I was a failure and wouldn't it be nice to be supermum, and does that make me useless for doing that feed as formula.. I then got a partial grip on reality to remind myself that I have done well to get as far as I have done still bf the amount I do, but how I shed a tear about it.. do what you feel is right for you and your babe and don't feel bad about it (realise from my own experience it's hard not to!. My other tactic for coping with the guilt is to think there are no guarantees to anything, so make the most of what you have and enjoy, and if it means making new/different choices for the better, well then so be it.

ps: if anyone was that Mum who told me I was giving junk food to my babe.. i can't tell you enough how crap that made me feel..

Felt a bit crap this morning, mourning the loss of exclusive BF. Compounded by the return of my period (cant believe missing a few feeds has brought this on so quickly).

I went back to just breastfeeding him but dont know if its nipple confusion, flow preference or what but he just does not feed as well from boob. He keeps slipping off, pulling off, coughing etc. I suspect its an overactive let down but not sure.

So today has been bottles since the 10am feed where he was trying to feed off me and got really upset.

Not sure how I feel really.

But something occurred to me this morning, I have actually had very little in the way of BF support. Maybe I should have had latch etc checked earlier on?

oh nooooooooooooooooooo just tried to feed, hes having none of it, really upset

what have i done!

damned - it will help to let him chill, just relax and enjoy having skin to skin contact with you, so he comes to the breast on his terms, and not get into a struggle.

Try this, alongside taking him into the bath, into bed....don't try to get him 'on', all tense and wondering if he'd gonna do it or not.

damnedifidont...

Please see your GP again, your baby sounds as though they have bad reflux. Breastfeeding can be a nightmare as it makes the reflux worse (especially when feeding from the left side). Bottlefeeding is 'easier' for them as they are upright throughout the feed. You may find that the ff makes the problem better initially, but it can make reflux worse as taking bigger quantities at each feed and having fuller stomach cause more pain when the feed refluxes.

I've got a 10 weeker and we have really struggled with bfing for the same reasons as you- we also persisted purely through my own guilt of stopping. We started mixed feeding (6 bfs, 3 ffs) at 4 weeks and all appeared better. However, it all deteriorated badly by 8 weeks and he was admitted to hospital because his reflux was so bad and causing complications. He is now back on exclusive bf with one night bottle and meds for his reflux.

Good luck. You've already done so well to get this far- congratulations on your persistence!

emma, what parts make you think reflux? My GP was fairly wishy washy about it and prescribed gaviscon as a just in case type thing but said taht he only worries about reflux when babies are losing weight, which he isnt.

Back arching is classical of reflux. As is a lot of fussing, throwing head back, thrashing and getting distressed on the breast and immediately following a feed.

Not all reflux babies have poor weight gain (as mentioned by someone else earlier, they may overfeed because feeding temporarily eases the pain). It is nonsense that these babies are the only ones worth worrying about and treating. If baby is in pain during and after feeding- that isn't good for baby or mummy, and can obviously have a deleterious effect on your motivation to carry on bfing. In my experience, gaviscon is pretty crap at controlling reflux and the dose which controls the symptoms causes awful constipation! There are plenty of other things which can be tried.

COI- I'm a GP and mum to a badly refluxy baby! I know what utter misery bfing can be for both of you in this situation. You have my sympathies.

Do you have any advice on persuing some better treatment?

Gaviscon is making him constipated on just 1 sachet!

If it is reflux causing this and I could get it sorted and fully breastfeed I would be ecstatic but feel like this is just not going to happen

The next step would be to try antacid medication (e.g. ranitidine) with or without an agent to encourage stomach emptying (e.g. domperidone). A lot of GPs would be reluctant to prescribe this though without a paediatrician having sanctioned it, so it may be worth asking your GP or HV for a referral.

My LO was on 12 sachets of gaviscon daily at one stage- poor thing had bowels like concrete! However, the ranitidine and domperidone is working well- he is like a new baby!

Regarding feeding itself, I find having him in the most vertical position possible helps. As he finds feeding lying on his right side difficult, I use the rugbyball position for feeding off the left breast. He needs lots of encouragement to wind well every couple of minutes and I sit him upright for 45 minutes after every feed. Raising the cothead by 5-6" and letting him sleep on his left side also help.