Weekend away dilemma - take dd or not? won't take a bottle.

[SantasLittleEgypt]

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! DD is just over 6 months now and in Jan dh has booked a w/e away for myself and my friend and her bf. we are going to Prague. All was set to take dd with us, but I would love to have a w/e away without her (bless her heart) as well as the bit of pressure i feel from my friend not to take her - but that's another story. We would be able to have meals out, see a show, and it is very cold of course. Anyway, my problem is that dd still feeds during the night. 2-3 times actually. I expect she doesnt need this feed and we have tried cc. She slept through one night. Since then she hasn't despite cc. Anyway, my problem is that she will not take a bottle. She quite happily drinks water from one during the day, but as far as formula goes - NO WAY. She quite happily drinks water from one during the night, formula - NO WAY. But she will not go back to sleep without a bf. Yes i know, it's probably comfort. So how can i possibly leave her for 2 nights? I'm in a real dilemma. I have expressed a little milk today to see if she will take ebm from a bottle like she used to when tiny. But tbh, i know i wont be able to express enough even for just 3 days which is 5 weeks away as i cannot get a letdown without feeding dd simultaneously. This is near on impossible now she is this old. She just noses at the pump and kicks it, grabs it and stops feeding.

I guess my questions are - do i leave her? How do i leave her?! and how can i express enough for her if she does take to a bottle of ebm?

Thanks in advance - if you can make sense of my garbled post. x

Have you tried different formulas? as some bf babies don't like the taste or certain ones (I'm thinking SMA here) you could try a dody cup, this worked for a mate of mine, whose son wouldn't take a bottle.

Sympathies - I was there, almost exactly. Tried absolutely everything, and before anyone says 'if they're hungry enough they'll take it', no, not all will - DS gained no weight during his first 33 months at nursery because he wouldn't take a bottle in the daytime, amd I am still paying what feels like bucketfuls of blood in guilt. Honestly, we followed every useful tip offered, gave it loads of time, everything.

TBH, SLE, if it was me, I would take her or postpone the trip, and find another way to enjoy a little baby-free time, maybe a day trip. If it was me, I'd be anxious while away, and unless you are expressing while you're away, in practice, you'll be saying that the w/e away is the end of bf her anyway - fine if that is what you are planning, but is that the way you want to do it?
Why wouldn't you be able to go for meals out with dd in tow?

I am sure others will have different perspectives on this, but if it was me, this is how I would be feeling about it.

er, 3 months, not 33.

she certainly doesnt like sma and we've tried the cow &gate too. she does drink water from a tommee tippee cup. i guess its the nights i'm more concerned about. she just wwants breast and screams at anything else. i feel she still needs me as comfort. but would rather she didn't!

posts crossed blu. yes, i'd have to express i know. i dont think it would mean the end of bf though. certainly wont think of it as that. oh gawd. i dont think i could postpone! dd was a nightmare when we spent 2 night in paris. we went out for meal but as it was her bedtime she screamed the restaurant down and wouldnt lay quietly in her pushchair. we had to take turns to push her around the streets. very stressful

ooo whats that other stuff looks similar to the cow & gate, is it milupa? (help anyone!) that worked for our friends ds.

right - dd woke - and have just established that she like ebm from a bottle. only the measly 2 1/2 oz but happily drank it. now need to try and express a bit for tonight. might it help if dh gives it instead of me?

is the other formula aptiva or something like that?! it's green i think

hi

my dd1 was a wee bit like yours, and yes it helped her if dh gave the bottle. but i think you should try straight onto cups, cos you will have to go throught the whole malarkey again when you want to change to cups. my dd1 eventually liked farleys, and she loved ebm so maybe try that. put a few drops on her lips to give her the taste. the othe r milk si aptimil.

IS it Aptamil? I tried this, as was recommended as being "closer to breastmilk" with my ds1 - it didn't make any difference with mine but that's not to say it won't with your dd. If she's taking the ebm I'd work on building up a supply. If you do it every morning (mornings are better than evenings apparently) between now and when you go there should be enough. Some pumps are better than others as well. eg. electric is better than battery or hand.

ah yes aptimil! shall maybe try farley's.

anyone any ideas how i can express though?

sorry jto, posts crossed. yes i think i shall have to just build up a supply. just tell me she will be ok without me won't she?! i just cant imagine her ever sleeping at night. sorry. soppy mummy

if you are worried dont go. its not worth it, esp when you phone home.

If you type expressing into the "search archived messages" you should get several useful results.

\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1364&threadid=46101\here's one}

\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1364&threadid=35565\and another}

\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1364&threadid=34817\and another}

Agree with nailpolish as well (or take her with you and put up with the hassle). DO whatever make's you happiest. And ignore pressure from friend - she's not the one with the baby.

SLE Hiya, It can make a huge difference WHO gives baby the bottle of formula. I know with ds he wouldn't except formula from me cos he could smell the breast milk on me! If anybody else gave him the bottle he didn't bat an eyelid.
It might be worth trying it with whoever you intend to leave baby with. Can you stay the night with them and let them do through the night as a trial run before you go? Without baby knowing your around. At least then you can see for yourself what she'll be like without you and giving you more piece of mind when your away. We all need a holiday from time to time.

I had this exact problem when dd was same age. I bit the bullet and went.

She did not and still does not really drink formula milk or EBM from bottle.

My mum and dad looked after her, she woke a couple of times and they rocked her back to sleep.

Said she was a bit tricky to get to sleep in the first instance. I think the babies get a bit cross coz they know what they normally get and it isn't available but when they realise it isn't available they accept it.

I still breastfeed in evening and in night if baby wakes up (now 9 months) as it is the quickest way to get her back to sleep again. But I do regularly leave her for a night. She usually has a tiny bit of formula (1oz! or less) and thats it.

She is fine though - i just breast feed her then as soon as I get home whatever time of day it is.

She will be just fine, but it will feel a wrench. Do take boob pump to relieve discomfort. I have found that a day or couple of days with out a boob feed doesn't seem to bother her and I still seem to make milk.

You should go, nothing beats the first night away from baby! like being on honeymoon!

Also five weeks in 'baby life' is long she could be eating lots of solids by then and waking up less in the night.

Other tip is - my mum sometimes used to give her some baby rice made with EBM in the night if she was crying and that kept her busy (baby) so didn't cry. Then when she was full mum would rock her to sleep.

I don't normally rock dd to sleep but my parents often do as they can't b-feed her into unconciousness like I do. hee hee

God, I meant it would be a wrench for you not baby. Baby will be fine, but no doubt happy to hook up with you when you are back.

I really encourage you to go. I found that first weekend away was a real turning point for me. I knew then that DD would be fine with someone else - it really gave me peace of mind.

Don't forget that whoever is looking after her probably isn't as cumulatively tired as you so won't mind waking up in the night once or twice. My parents just really put my mind at rest said if need be they would take her for a drive in the car as that is very calming or push in pram.

Who will look after baby when when you are away?

thanks flum. you are putting my mind at rest. my parents would look after her too. although my mil is trying to get a look in, i think she may just come round in the day. thats another issue! sounds like you felt just like i do, and like you i feel that i need to make a turning point and learn to accept that she can survive without me. i am christmas shopping on weds and leaving her with a neigbour, and although it is only an afternoon i am nervous about that! yes, they can push in pram, take in car, even give babyrice, you are right. she isnt going to starve and she will eventually sleep. thank you.

am still training her with the formula!

Go for it - the first time you leave them is always hard, whatever age they are. Flum's advice was great.

Well good luck. Your mum and dad will love being able to answer the phone with 'yes, dear everything is fine she's very happy with us'

FWIW my dd still doesn't drink formula and have tried a few brands. It has meant I have carried on breastfeeding til now with is kinda cosy. But also means can leave her. Have an excellent time.

Also would like to recommend a good lunch time place to eat in Prague but can't remember the name of the darn place. Gonna ask dp tonight. You get beautiful soup served inside a huge hollowed out loaf of bread, really keeps you going in the cold and costs £1. Also try to get Opera tickets when you get there - if you like that sort of thing. We got best seats in the house for about a tenner - amazing!

sounds great flum. how does your dd feed when you do go out then? don't know if you meant to say you 'can't' leave her where you wrote can?

must talk to dh about it all tonight. would show him this thread, but i'm not supposed to know where i was going. thanks to mil's MOUTH.
i couldnt possibly say we shouldn't go as it is my 30th - as well as my friend's.

thanks for all your posts. will try the ebm tonight and get dh on the first night shift.

If you have EBM but not enough, try mixing it with formula.

No I meant I can leave her. Normally I breast feed her every night and sometimes in the morning. But if I am away she just doesn't have it. They try to give her some formula in a cup but she usually only has an oz. Then they rock her off to sleep.

It really doesn't seem to do her any harm and one night doesn't seem to stop the milk production.

I have proably spend 10 nights away from her in the last 4 months and she has been fine and i am still breast feeding. Don't want to stop it too lovely,

Two nights is a bit different though, you need pump to release the milk and make more for your happy homecoming.

thats all good flumberry. thinking she shouldnt need feeding in the night anyway now should she? she will be 7 months by then too. i seem to need someone to convince me of this though. i gave in and fed her last night at only 11pm. she slept from 730. dh was doing his selective hearing and didnt get up to try her with a bottle from him as we had discussed. bstrd. i let her cry for about 45 mins. then i fed her. must i let her cry herself to sleep again? no amount of shushing or rocking from me works as she knows i have the boobs just there*!

Egypt - don't know if it'll help, but my ds2 seems to tolerate Aptimel quite well (don't know if the flavour is more similar to bm or not, to be honest). We prepared him a few days in advance by mixing his breakfast porridge with it so he got used to the flavour, then I went out for the evening and abandoned dh with a bottle of it

Then again, we haven't had issues with the bottle side of things, and I know that's a whole other kettle of fish...