Weekend away dilemma - take dd or not? won't take a bottle.

[SantasLittleEgypt]

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! DD is just over 6 months now and in Jan dh has booked a w/e away for myself and my friend and her bf. we are going to Prague. All was set to take dd with us, but I would love to have a w/e away without her (bless her heart) as well as the bit of pressure i feel from my friend not to take her - but that's another story. We would be able to have meals out, see a show, and it is very cold of course. Anyway, my problem is that dd still feeds during the night. 2-3 times actually. I expect she doesnt need this feed and we have tried cc. She slept through one night. Since then she hasn't despite cc. Anyway, my problem is that she will not take a bottle. She quite happily drinks water from one during the day, but as far as formula goes - NO WAY. She quite happily drinks water from one during the night, formula - NO WAY. But she will not go back to sleep without a bf. Yes i know, it's probably comfort. So how can i possibly leave her for 2 nights? I'm in a real dilemma. I have expressed a little milk today to see if she will take ebm from a bottle like she used to when tiny. But tbh, i know i wont be able to express enough even for just 3 days which is 5 weeks away as i cannot get a letdown without feeding dd simultaneously. This is near on impossible now she is this old. She just noses at the pump and kicks it, grabs it and stops feeding.

I guess my questions are - do i leave her? How do i leave her?! and how can i express enough for her if she does take to a bottle of ebm?

Thanks in advance - if you can make sense of my garbled post. x

SLE next time DD wakes up, immediately kick your DH into consciousness and then by the time the 45 minutes is up and you've decided that she really does need feeding he will be fully awake and ready with the EBM. I'm good at giving out the advice in this respect probably because DH is a night time shirker as well. Agree that DD and your Mum will cope but it is still very hard to make that break from them being so totally dependent on you.

Also do you think it would help if you explained to DH how important sorting DD's nighttime out is to your enjoyment of your weekend away?

well a bit of progress. am learning to trust that she doesnt really need feeding in the night.

last night we did cc. she cried for 40 mins on put down. woke at 930 - 40 mins of cc. woke at 1130, cc......went on for over an hour. had been offering her water each time she woke, so did this, but she was not happy. didnt pick her up any times, just made sure she was winded ok. as i'm trying to get her through the night without a bf, (ie, without me) i expressed an oz. offered that to her and she gulped it own, had a giggle, blew raspberries and went to sleep. this was 1250am. she went through until 6am. on just an ounce. . i did bf her then, where perhaps i should have just offered her ebm again, but it was kind of like 'i need relief!' and she deserved the reward. she went back to sleep until 945am

now, if she wakes at 6 or 5 and i think she is hungry, am i giving in by bfd'in her? am i wasting all those hours of cc? or should i be doing it then too? not offering her breast until proper get up time?

maybe should just offer the bottle then too. what do people think ? i dont want to do cc if i am actually giving in by feeding her at 6ish. would be cruel.

I think decide when morning starts and treat anything before that as though it is night. Don't know how you decide what is reasonable though - I have to say if she will feed at 6 and then go back to sleep til 9.45 then I'd stick with that I had to put a stop to 6 am feeds because ds2 wouldn't go back to sleep afterwards, so I needed to push getting up time a bit later!

Would agree that you need to decide when morning is. For me I am happy with it to be 6 am on a bad day. But for you as a SAHM it might be later. I assume the 9.45 am is a later than normal start due to tiredness caused by the CC. My 3yo has never slept to that time ever.

woah, I would think very carefully about going away for a whole weekend with a baby who doesn't like a bottle - afraid I agree with advice to either take her or postpone. Can't you just go out for an evening with dh or even just one night away first?

yes definitely later because of the cc. although the past week has been a 9/930 actually for some reason. always used to be 730/8. yes, i shall have to treat it as night i think. try with some shhing then a little ebm. i dont mind her feeding in the night so much as long as she doesnt need me. and i think if she is offered just a little ebm - 1-2oz when she is very very unsettled she may learn to not bother waking as its not worth it. or am i giving in my doing that? oh heck. i offer water and dont think of it as giving in so surely to her its no different. i dont pick her up or do anything different. sorry....i know i ramble.....thinking as i write!

EDMW, she has begun to take a bottle now. she has been used to it in the day when she has water with her meals. so i swapped the water for formula and she still drank some. she prefers ebm i think, but i feel we are getting there. obviously if theres no way she'll have a bottle when it comes to going she will have to come with us, but i think we are slowly getting there. its the nights i'm concerned about as she can eat for england in the day. but as you see, last night was ok. she did take a bottle from me!

If your goal is for her not to rely on the boob then thats OK I think. It does sound like it should be night. Think you are on a later schedule than us - DD is always in her cot and lights out by 7.30 pm.

Also think your DH and bf are putting you under a lot of pressure here which isn't very fair of them.