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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breastfeeding help

42 replies

Usedtobechilled · 31/12/2022 20:05

Feel like I'm never away from mumsnet these days 😔
Wondering if anyone has experienced similar. Trying to BF 3 week old however he's constantly getting frustrated and unlatching himself. I can tell when we've got a good latch but it makes no difference. I don't think he's ever getting a full feed and emptying my breasts. At night i end up having to finish his feed with a bottle where he can easily then take another 80-100ml. It's genuinely bringing me to tears. Any suggestions? I'm super close to going full formula but I really don't want to do this.

  • I don't have a fast flow
  • I manually express a bit to get it going for him
  • I try both breasts, makes no difference, unlatches from both

Please help! It's incredibly depressing.

OP posts:
PeppermintChoc · 31/12/2022 20:07

Tongue tie?

Theyll always take a bottle after a feed - it’s the sucking reflex. It’s not necessarily indicative of a hungry baby.

Is he over hungry when you start?

Tinyant · 31/12/2022 20:08

Is weight gain ok?
Plenty of wet and dirty yellow nappies?
how soon after starting a feed does he unlatch? Does he do this every feed?

bubblebab · 31/12/2022 20:14

Please join Breastfeeding Yummy Mummies on Facebook for the CORRECT advice from TRAINED PROFESSIONALS!!!!

You'll get lots of advice on here and it won't all be correct!!!

upfucked · 31/12/2022 20:15

What time is this happening? Just one bottle a night?

Sounds like it could be a mixture of cluster feeding and because your giving a bottle (not the wrong choice if your happy with it) your body is not producing as much milk.

Original poster
Usedtobechilled · 31/12/2022 20:15

He was tongue tied but this was sorted a week and a half ago and definitely helped his latch however one problem seems to be followed by another problem so now he unlatches.
His weight gain has been OK, not amazing, but I think that's only because Im having to express/give formula to top him up.
I don't think he's only taking the bottle for the sake of it because he won't settle til he's taken most of it.

He seems to suck for maybe a minute and is swallowing but then comes off crying . I start feeding him while he's calm but then it ends up both of us frustrated 🤦‍♀️
It's not every feed but feels like most feeds.

OP posts:
Original poster
Usedtobechilled · 31/12/2022 20:17

Surely 1 bottle cant affect your supply can it?
Also, I will had him on and off for a good hour before I give a bottle so he's still taking some.

OP posts:
PeppermintChoc · 31/12/2022 20:18

bubblebab · 31/12/2022 20:14

Please join Breastfeeding Yummy Mummies on Facebook for the CORRECT advice from TRAINED PROFESSIONALS!!!!

You'll get lots of advice on here and it won't all be correct!!!

Absolutely.

Although experience counts for a lot too. So no harm in asking on more than one platform.

PeppermintChoc · 31/12/2022 20:19

Usedtobechilled · 31/12/2022 20:17

Surely 1 bottle cant affect your supply can it?
Also, I will had him on and off for a good hour before I give a bottle so he's still taking some.

It’s supply and demand. So if you replace feeding with a bottle you’ll produce slightly less. That said, I wouldn’t have thought one bottle would make much of a difference- your body can up the supply pretty readily.

bubblebab · 31/12/2022 20:20

@PeppermintChoc yes I agree about multiple platforms. As long as op can tell the difference between correct and incorrect advice, I've found the fb group to be most helpful

Flittingaboutagain · 31/12/2022 20:20

I recommend following people like Kathryn Stagg and Lyndsay Hookway on Instagram, getting support in persona and join your local NHS breastfeeding what's app, la Leche etc.

A lot of what you describe is normal and you need to go with the flow, putting baby to boob, with baby on and off constantly for hours and hours. In our house the witching hour was about 7-11pm every night for months!

Original poster
Usedtobechilled · 31/12/2022 20:28

How did you cope with the witching hour? I try and continue to out him on for an hour and by the end of it I could literally cry/pull my hair out.
I'm taking this to mean it's normal behaviour then and something I need to get through?

Hats off to people that can cope with this without losing their marbles.

(I've joined the Facebook group for extra advice 😊)

OP posts:
Tinyant · 31/12/2022 20:34

If this only happens in the evenings and the rest of the time he is settled and feeding ok then it’s likely to be cluster feeding which is normal breastfeeding behaviour. However if he’s doing this throughout the whole day then this can indicate something may be going on.
try switch feeding, breast compressions (encourages more milk to flow to keep him more interested) and also leaning more forward if it appears a flow option.
but bear in mind if it does just happen same (ish) time every eve this can be normal.

Original poster
Usedtobechilled · 31/12/2022 20:42

With cluster feeding, is the crying/frustration normal?
He will unlatch and cry, cry until he's put back on, rinse and repeat.
From reading other people's experience, it's as if the baby unlatches and they pop them back on as if it's dead easy. They continue this for hours which is what I think I could do if it wasn't for how worked up he gets.

OP posts:
Laneyly · 31/12/2022 20:43

I found this wonderful insta page the other day, may be worth a look

@daniellegaussibclc

Notanotherusername4321 · 31/12/2022 20:49

It’s a vicious cycle. Offering the bottle will have several effects..

it will diminish your supply slightly. That will make it harder work for him to get the amount of milk he needs.

secondly bottles are less work for a baby. No having to suck until let down, no having to suck to increase supply, it’s just there immediately.

so when he’s at the breast he’s sucking and nothing’s coming out at first, so he’s getting frustrated. He’s looking for the bottle where it’s there straight away. He’s hungry and tired and wants milk now.

tigerpants800 · 31/12/2022 20:51

Could you find out who your local Nhs lactation consultant is?
GP and midwife's gave me the details for our local one and she was amazing. Helped me in a way that no other person/online/book did.

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 31/12/2022 20:52

Can you try laying on your side on the bed and have him parallel to you and see you he gets on that way?
Otherwise it sounds to me like he is getting tired/ mouth muscles not strong type thing

PeppermintChoc · 31/12/2022 20:52

The witching hour is totally normal. Even at 18m we still have what I’ve called the “five o’clock grott” anytime from 5 onwards babies seem to get unsettled.

Bumblebee412 · 31/12/2022 20:53

Ds has just has his tongue tie done and we have gone back to square one . He's 11 weeks and we have never managed to establish bf fully, he's always needed majority topping up with bottle. I find that trying leaves me in tears and pumping is just not sustainable. I just can't bring myself to say I'm done just incase it clicks.

You could try to reach out to a support group or mw and HV but it's a case of keep trying and learning. Please do not allow yourself to beat yourself up on this. My mum said to me the other day breastfeeding is only easy if it's easy and that hit home.
Whatever you choose to do you need to think of yourself too. Breastfed but mentally drained mum is no good to your baby and you know that.

lookslikeabombhitit · 31/12/2022 21:07

3 weeks old is prime growth spurt time alongside a wonder weeks leap. I know some people don't buy the development leap thing but everytime that cloud appeared on my app my kids turned into fussy, whingy nightmares. Have a look at kellymom website for growth spurt information and also the wonder weeks app which is only a couple of quid but was scarily accurate for mine and saved my sanity on more than one occasion when they had me tearing my hair out with their crankiness/poor feeding/ rubbish sleep ...

When baby is feeding look for active sucking and swallowing. The rest of the time on the breast is comfort suckling and putting their order in for the next feed. If you spot the active swallowing tapering off try breast compressions- basically gently squeeze your breast (like you're holding a burger barm) which will help to stimulate another let down and speed up the flow. Breast compressions were the only sodding thing that helped with the fussy on/off latching during growth spurts for mine.

User0ne · 31/12/2022 21:12

@Usedtobechilled yes the crying and frustration is normal. I've end 3dc and they all did this, plus headbutting breasts, pinching, repeatedly latching and unlatching, not seeming satisfied/full for hours, only sleeping with nipple in mouth.

Unfortunately it's all a normal part of bf; it's pretty central to how your baby indicates to your breasts to increase/maintain supply. It often gets worse before growth spurts (of which there are lots) and usually settles down by 4months when your supply will be well established.

Ebf is hard. Also, imo, worth it.

User0ne · 31/12/2022 21:13

End = ebf

kiwiandcherries · 31/12/2022 21:22

If he is unlatching and really upset could it be a wind problem? Could it be discomfort and that needs help before he can take more comfortably? Just a thought

toogoodforthisworld · 31/12/2022 21:42

Yeah I agree - could be wind too. Have you tried feeding him after bathing him? Getting all his trumps out by gently pushing his knees up and few times?
I've fed mine in a warm bath too. Everything seems to flow better.
Let down your shoulders and try and breathe gently. EBF is ducking hard and can be on occasion painful too- and hardly anyone tells you .
IMO EBF is 80% perseverance. The rest is getting enough rest and drinking and eating enough yourself.
I used to lie on the bed and side feed as we coslept. That was always the best / easiest for us.
I'm glad you've joined the fb groups You've got this. It is exhausting. But stay strong xxx

Britinme · 31/12/2022 21:49

With cluster feeding, is the crying/frustration normal?
He will unlatch and cry, cry until he's put back on, rinse and repeat.

It's very common at this age, and it does settle down eventually.

One thought that strikes me, and I apologise if you have already considered this and it's irrelevant, is whether he is facing the nipple straight on with his head slightly tipped back. If he has to turn his head at all, or if his chin is dipped towards his chest when he is latched on, he will be uncomfortable after a fairly short time. Worth asking a local breastfeeding counsellor to check on this with you. I used to be an NCT breastfeeding counsellor quite a long time ago now, and this was certainly a problem some of the mums I encountered had.