Breastfeeding help

[Usedtobechilled]

Feel like I'm never away from mumsnet these days 😔
Wondering if anyone has experienced similar. Trying to BF 3 week old however he's constantly getting frustrated and unlatching himself. I can tell when we've got a good latch but it makes no difference. I don't think he's ever getting a full feed and emptying my breasts. At night i end up having to finish his feed with a bottle where he can easily then take another 80-100ml. It's genuinely bringing me to tears. Any suggestions? I'm super close to going full formula but I really don't want to do this.

• I don't have a fast flow
• I manually express a bit to get it going for him
• I try both breasts, makes no difference, unlatches from both

Please help! It's incredibly depressing.

Both mine had witching hours.

They'd cry and cluster feed from 7pm to 9/10pm every night from about 3 weeks to 3 months.

I had a great book called your baby week by week which told me all about it.

I'd make sure I'd eaten before it started. Then I'd get comfy on the sofa with just a lamp on. Pop the TV on just go with it.

At 9:30 we'd go up to bed. Get into pjs and then do a feed in bed which would usually send them to sleep.

I've breast fed 2 babies. The first 6 weeks with both were tough. I always remember being told by a midwife to stick it out for 6 weeks as it gets better and that stuck with me and it really did get better.
Just remember you're both learning. You learning to feed, the baby learning to feed also.
If it's definitely not latch there are other things that could be causing an issue. Tongue tie (I know you've already had this sorted), Allergies, reflux problem possible breast feeding thrush.
Fussiness can also be away of baby stimulating further milk supply. Head banging, twisting of nipples, smacking, massaging... etc!
Find a bf Facebook group near you! There is SO much support out there. You are not alone OP and it will get better!

I've Bf two babies. My youngest still feeds at bedtime, he's 2.5! I have not had a straight lien feeding journey!
Always here to chat if you want to.

@herbaltea21 is spot on. The first six weeks are the pits, and the six after that are crawling up out of the pits, even with a baby without feeding problems.

^With cluster feeding, is the crying/frustration normal?
He will unlatch and cry, cry until he's put back on, rinse and repeat.^

In my experience, yes it’s normal. Extremely difficult and soul destroying, but normal, as in it doesn’t indicate there is anything wrong with either your baby or your supply.

This advice is spot on!

Your babies behaviour is both really normal and serves a purpose (to increase your supply).

Thanks everyone for your suggestions 😊
It's good to know I'm not alone and that other mums have experienced similar.
I find it difficult to always ensure a good latch because he arches away when trying to put him on so I have to admit sometimes it's a case of, just get him on. The arching occurs even with the first signs of hunger 🤦‍♀️
I'll also try extra winding. He's difficult to burp and we try the bicycle legs etc but nothing comes out 🤷‍♀️ I bought infacol incase it was wind but the health visitor advised against that for now so we're doing tummy massages/bicycle legs every day but it doesn't seem to have helped.

Also, with the thrashing of arms, how are they surprisingly accurate at hitting the tip of your nipple 😑😂

I genuinely never anticipated that the hardest and most mentally challenging part of having a baby was feeding him.

My dd was similar. On for 5 mins, off for 10 crying and fussing, back on again… repeat. My boobs were empty but it seemed like she just wanted more, then she didn’t! I think it was colic. Dentinox colic drops really helped.

All of this is just a phase but bf is hard! I had 2 bouts of mastitis, nipple aversion and a breastfeeding strike.. we’re now at 11 months.
Stick it out if you want to and know this will pass, or switch to formula 🙂

How did you keep going if you don't mind me asking?

What bf positions are you using? Some babies prefer jockey to cradle or cross cradle? You really need to focus on the good latch. What I'd suggest is not to wait for hunger signs and instead offer the boob immediately on waking up each time in case you're missing the early hunger signs and baby is frustrated then.

I used to just sit with netflix on topless (summer!) and have drinks and snacks in reach. After a feed/during a fussy five mins my husband would sometimes put baby in sling and try to soothe baby with singing and walking (keeping it brief) then back to the boob we'd go. And repeat. It is hard but also normal. Which basically sums up breastfeeding for a lot of us in my group who are still doing it 18m on+!

Currently using cross cradle but I think lll spend today trying out the other positions again. I found the jockey position quite an awkward one because my baby is really long and the laid back feeding - baby gets frustrated because he hasn't successfully latched on that way yet so I gave up on that.

I will also try sticking him on immediately after waking up like you say. It's so frustrating knowing they are hungry but will constantly unlatch themselves, counterintuitive to me!

I think I'll aim for another week of giving it a good go but my mental health gets shots after every feed and my OH is getting the brunt of it.

Oh goodness I don’t know! I think I’m just really stubborn and I want to stop when it’s MY decision and not before.
I read somewhere here something that’s stuck with me and it was to “never give up on a bad day”.
If you manage a couple of good days or even just good feeds and you still want to stop, then that’s the right decision for you.

I won’t say it gets easier because it’s been one thing after another for me but the nighttime cluster feeding does get better.
Good luck 😊

I got through those first weeks by telling myself I’ll get some formula tomorrow 😂

I’d be sat up all night thinking I can’t do this, I’m sending dh out for formula when the shops open. Then in the morning I’d feel a bit better, and think I’ll get through today, and if it’s bad tonight get the formula tomorrow.

Get through one day at a time.

mine was partly stubbornness as well as my lovely natural home birth turned into an EMCS and proper touch and go medical decisions. I think I felt I had to breastfeed as my body clearly couldn’t birth “properly”, so not bf was further evidence of my body’s failure, iyswim. So I was pretty determined.

Giving myself permission to quit trying was when I started to enjoy my baby. He would arch, kick, headbutt then lustily guzzle formula, burp and fall asleep.

So I quit. I bought two boxes of formula and that was that.

No regrets.

Hi @Usedtobechilled honestly please don't feel down at all x
I had my bubba in October. Me and a few of my friends also didn't have much of a flow and all ended up giving formula milk.
You're really lucky your bubba latched on, none of the bubbas i know latched on at all.

Support and face to face breastfeeding groups are the best way of learning how to deal with and (resolve some of this). Those who quit within a few weeks often just get bad advice and no support from bf experts so they give up thinking they're not satisfying baby. A lactation consultant should also be available to reassure you.

I read the instructions on the formula tin.

My mother in law was similar. Was having a really hard time feeding my DH. Was all about to give up then read the instructions on the tin. She felt that looked a million times harder

@Twizbe
Brilliant reply lol
I had to switch to formula after EBF FOR 2 months about 30 years ago due to working abroad and no opportunities to pump.
It was such hard work- washing and sterilizing 6 bottles every evening after we'd had dinner and I'd washed up... and then making the milk ... ugh..
I found it so much more relaxing when I stopped work with the 2nd and could just feed on demand. She was such an easy baby.. I could take her anywhere- I got my boobs out EVERYWHERE for her!