Prem baby not taking to BFing

[rascal1979]

My baby was born 9 weeks early and has been having EBM since about day 3. However despite trying to breast feed for over 3 weeks we don't seem to be progressing. She has latched on a few times and sucked 3-5 times but that's it. I try her to the breast upto 3 times a day when she is about to/being tube fed. She will hold my nipple inher mouth and suck /lick the milk or just let it flow into her mouth and then swallow bits but not actually breastfeeding properly.

I'm starting to get really despondant as other mums inthe unit seem to be doing far better at actually feeding.

She is now 36 wks gestation (5 weeks old) and weighs 3lb 2oz. The nurses just keep saying that she is small and she will do it eventually but I'm starting to worry that she won't.

Anyone else had a similar situation with a happy ending! or does it look like she won't be able to feed?

Rascal, just seen the pics, she is gorgeous! And has really filled out, your bm must be doing the trick! Really glad you've managed some good breastfeeds. No experience with breast shields, but if you're wary, maybe you could use a manual pump to just draw your nipple out before a feed? (could be talking rubbish, if so ignore me..)

Hiya
just popping on for some moral support. Been to hospital this morning for LO's 11am feed and she was wide awake. Tried to latch her on with the nipple shields but not really having a 'proper attempt'. The nurse who has been helping me came over and we tried with her help without the nipple shields - LO managed a few sucks but not really a proper attempt.

I know I'm probably expecting too much too soon but feeling down about it all as I just want her to feed. I realise that me stressing won't help so I am trying to relax but it's soooo difficult sure we'd be better at it if we were all alone at home without the noise of SCBU... Think I will ask if I can go to a quiet room to try feeding her at the next feed.

DH doens't understand the pressure I'm feeling atm

Oh Rascal. It will happen, honestly - she is just still small and young and the fact that she is even latching on at this stage is brilliant. I do understand how you feel - the first time I tried to bf ds, he screamed while we held his head at my breast and the nurse tube fed him; then he would just lie there with his face in vaguely the right place; then he sort of had my nipple in his mouth; then he latched on but didn't suck; then he would do one or two sucks, then 3 or 4 etc etc. And he was born at 34 weeks and 5lb4! And that process didn't take days, it took weeks and weeks. I'm not meaning to dismiss how you feel, just hopefully making you feel better by telling you how it was for us.

In our SCBU there was a breastfeeding room - we couldn't use it because ds was hooked up to a sats monitor until the day before we left but if your dd doesn't have many wires attached it's definitely worth asking if you can go somewhere else. It is very difficult to relax with all the alarms going off and babies crying and nurses walking in and out.

I think it's hard for anyone who hasn't sat in a hospital all day next to their baby to understand what it's like, but I do hope your dh is supporting you even if he doesn't really understand. It can also be difficult for a father to understand just how important breastfeeding is to a mother.

This is of course a lot easier to say than to do, but please please don't feel under pressure to get your dd to feed. You are already doing such a wonderful thing for her expressing, so that she has your milk to grow, and as she gets bigger and stronger she'll be able to get it for herself! It just might take a little bit longer, but she'll get there in the end.

Sorry for all the rambling, I just sympathise so much and can remember what it was like and am desperately trying to think of something to say to cheer you up!

Rascal

It sounds like you and your daughter are doing really well. My dd was born at 27+5, had regular kangaroo care and after about a week of false starts took her first bf at 34+2 BUT we did not really start cracking on with it until she went to demand feeding in her last week in hospital. It is nerve wracking waiting for your lo one to feed, however the upside is that unlike someone who has their baby at 36 weeks no-one is going to shove you out until feeding is established so hang in there. Personally I refused to give permission for dd to have a bottle until she had started bf but that had a lot to do with the fact I had been pumping for 6 weeks. The unit where dd was born did use shields in situations like yours, also it's worth posting on the BLISS messageboard as there are lots of mums there who can give you the benefit of their experience.

Thanks Leigeandleaf and Izzytee

After posting I went back for the 3pm feed which was slightly more successful. Tried with nipple shields and without and she seemed better without - although still struggling with latching on but more so staying awake.

At the 7pm feed the nurse suggested that we try going in a cooler room to keep her awake - we did this and she latched on immediately without nipple shields and sucked away! She continued to do this off and on for about 20 min! YAY!

I realise that it could have been a coincidence that she fed well but the cooler room seemed to help keep her alert and my nipples pert

The nurse helping us really is lovely - she let us have 30 min alone with her in the room after the BF while we topped her up with a tube feed. Our first time alone with her since she was born (6 weeks today).

When we took her back to her incubator the nurse had put 2 gold stars on it! She also came to see me before we left to say well done and made a note in Amelie's daily notes and said well done there too - the little things matter soooo much when you are on SCBU and this really cheered me up. Apparently she has been and bought her some smiley face stickers too

Thanks for allyour support - I'm sure I will be back on here again soon havign a stress but your comments really do help xx

Rascal

So glad it went well, the cooler room may well have made the difference. Well done Amelie! Well done you! Let us know how you get on but it sounds like you're away.....

Thanks Lizzy x

OOOOHHHHHH Rascal,

Im so happy for you, this is great news and im sure it will only get better.

One thing is for sure you deserve more than just a few gold stars

Thanks Determination - what would I do without all you Mumsnetters!

xx

Hi rascal, looks like things have turned a corner. I was very frustrated establishing bf-ing with my dd, who was born 5lbs at 40 weeks but with a heart condition. She would barely latch on and then take a few sips and lose interest. I remember crying in SCBU after 2 weeks of this.

In hindsight, it was because she was being tube fed/topped up. I know they measure the feeds and it is supposed to be in line with their weight. But the problem was, with my dd, she was literally being forcefed via the ng tube, poo-ing and wee-ing for England. I could not take her home until her bf-ing was established but that wasn't happening.

Finally, a dietician with any balls at all, said to take out the tube and see what happened. Within hours, my dd latched on like a trouper and started feeding like it was the most natural thing in the world.

We never looked back. Carried on bf-ing until she was 17 months.

Obviously in your case, dd is now at 36 weeks, and still little. So you have to go with what the doctors say about the tube. But once it appears your dd can do a full b-feed without getting tired, it might be something to consider.

Hi Rascal,

I hope things work out for you with the bfing. I know it is extra hard with a 'preemie' and lots of people at our neonatal unit didn't manage to bf.

Alexander was also born 9 weeks early and I have severely flat and inverted nipples too, which don't respond to cold or anything. I tried so hard and when he was 5 weeks old, just like you, resorted to a nipple shield. It seemed to be going ok and we were sent home after 3 days of feeding that way. However, after 4 days a midwife came and weighed him and he'd lost 10g, and after he'd been home a week he had just put the same 10g back on and nothing more. After the first visit, I was sitting there struggling with getting him to take the nipple shield and he was dropping asleep as usual, and I worried that I wasn't getting much milk, so I expressed and could only get 1oz. So not only was he losing weight but my milk supply was dwindling away.

What did I do? Well first of all I got some frozen milk out of my freezer stash, thawed it and gave him it in his first ever bottle. He only took 20ml of it, but I went upstairs and sobbed and sobbed about it. Then, bang on cue, my 'My Brest Friend' feeding pillow arrived in the post which only made me cry more!

I tried and tried to feed him - we even used the breastflow bottles for a few months so his latch would be the same for bottles (or as near as possible), but there came a time when the schedule of feeding, then expressing, then washing up bottles and pump bits and then feeding again was just not paying off and I decided to quit trying to brestfeed directly. I am very proud though that Alexander was fed EBM from a bottle for 7 months, and was over 6 months before he needed to have formula. That was a lot of work, but it was worth it I think. I used a very good double electric pump - an Ameda Lactaline.

If you do use the nipple shields I would be aware that they can interfere with your supply so I would 'empty' after using them and then maybe feed it (there are other methods that don't cause confusion if you are worried) or store in the freezer?

I wish you the best of luck. Alexander's now 11 months old now and all of this heartache with feeding upset me so much but it was just a small part of his life that he won't remember and it seems like something in the past now!

Anna xx

Hi,

Just read your last post - CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Anna xxx

Yay Rascal, sounds fab! I can only back up what others have said and these little steps are so familiar and all on the way to bringing her home . Ds's first proper feed I felt so good - I felt like a proper mummy for the first time. Just a tiny thought cos no-one told me it could happen... when ds fed properly the first time, he was so knackered, he didn't do it again for a day or two. So don't worry if she doesn't do it every time now. She's shown she can now! Yippee!

I know she may be knackered today so I'm not expecting too much - but yesterday gave me such a high. She only fed for about 20 min BUT it was proper feeding and I'm sooo proud of her.

I'm off to the hospital for 11am feed shortly - will let you all know how I get on today fongers crossed!

goodluck rascal,,

I will be thinking of you with my fingers crossed too

I have had two prem babies, at 5 1/2 weeks and 8 weeks early. Both didn't feed properly from me until they were 36 weeks equivalent.

I really feel for you, my second was at the same sort of stage as you 5 years ago and I remember ofetn bursting in to tears with the frustration of it all. To look at them both now you would never know

Stick with it it will come good in the end.

Brilliant Rascal, am so happy for you and well done dd! Hope it goes well today but like annabanana says, it doesn't matter if she's too tired today, you know she can do it!

well.... I went in for her 11am feed and she was awake and alert. Took her out to try her to the breast and hse did latch on breifly but not really doing much sucking. She fell asleep pretty quick which I put down to the room being warm. Tube fed her the feed and put her down.

Then I looked in her notes and noticed that at her 7am feed today she was cupfed for the first time and took a massive 20mls! The unit have been very reluctant to cup feed (time restraints etc) and this attempt was without me even asking! so I'm really pleased and obvioulsy this is why she was so tired at her 11am feed.

Going back for the 3pm feed and hopefully will have more success then, if not there is always the 7pm feed

Thanks again for all your support - will update you later x

Guess who latched herself on all by herself at the 3pm feed!!

Did really well again (on and off for about 30 min)and even got a sticker off one of the nurses for doing so well!

well done babyrascal and mummyrascal.

Thanks - just added pic of her with her sticker on onto my profile page hehe

well done to both of you .

how beautiful! have you thought of using a wrap sling for Kangaroo care?

i did a quick google and found this

there is also this available from South Africa.