Any tips on b/fing in public? - I'm scared!

[missbumpy]

I feel really funny about b/fing in public. I don't have a problem with other people doing it but I feel shy doing it myself. I feel like it's really restricting our movements as I have to time trips out around feeds so that I don't have to feed her while we're out or so that we're near somewhere that I know has a feeding room.

Has anyone got any tips on b/fing in public? I'm not sure I could do it without exposing vast amounts of breast while I faff around getting DD into the right position etc. I know some people recommend draping a muslin cloth over LO but it feels a bit mean to create a curtain around DD's head!

I know how you feel! I did it for the first time yesterday but it was really quiet where I was. I think that helped - picking someplace that wasn't too busy. I went to a nice wee deli cafe that I have been to a few times and I was sure they would be baby friendly. I had my DH with me too for moral support.

The hardest part for me is the latching on - once he is on you can't really see anything but getting him on is sometimes a faff and I feel funny with my nip waving about all over the place!

Maybe try somewhere quiet to start with and take it from there. I am going to try and just build up my confidence with it bit by bit as I really want to be able to feed in public confidently.

I used to wear a cardigan type top over a vest. The cardigan does the same job as the muslin would and the baby covers any other bits which might be on show (ie tummy). I did try with a cloth over baby but found it drew more attention to what I was doing. Vest top also makes it easy to unclip the cup of your bra without too much attention so get the breast ready, position LO and then leave actually lifting your top until last - minimal exposure!

I once b/f on a bench in the middle of a Lakeside shopping centre as I could find nowhere to heat the bottle of EBM I had with me - I don't think anyone even noticed as it just looked like I was sitting and cuddling baby.

Good luck, hope that helps!

I used to have a loose t-shirt that I could lift and a cardigan, jacket that I could pull round wherever I wanted it to go.

you could try wearing two tops, a vest to pull down and a top to pull up, iyswim! and try baby friendly places first, mothercare etc to build up your confidence! I'm bfeeding my 5th and its still a bit intimidating sometimes, but i've never had any negative comments, fed him in a pub last week and it was fine

Wear something that pulls up, and a cardigan. That way you expose minimal amounts of flesh. A lot of MNetters suggest wearing a vest under your top and pulling the vest down and top up, so covering your tummy, but I couldn't get the hang of that. A cardigan shields the side view as it were.

I used to drape DDs blanket over my shoulder too, but only while getting her latched on/ off. Once they are on, the baby covers up the breast so she doesn't need to stay under the curtain.

I was watching someone at Toddlers feed her new baby and couldn't see anything. In fact it looked like she was just cuddling. She then said to me how did I manage to be so discrete because I never show anything

Sit with your back to the room, in a quiet corner.

I had a wrap thing that I had round my shoulders that would cover ds up - he never seemed to mind!!

good luck!

Its easy to feel very self conscious at first particularly if it takes a while to latch on properly etc in the early days - but it does get easier quickly. My top tips are 1) Remember noone is really noticing what you're doing. 2) Get some nice breast feeding tops Mamaway do some very nice reasonably priced strappy vest style tops that have become my wardrobe staples. 3) If like me you have an enormous white crepey belly yould rather not display, another good way of hiding it is to wear a boob tube or maybe a cotton mini skirt under your normal top around your midriff up to the base of your bra. 4)A padded ring sling from Freedom Slings has been the single most useful thing I have ever bought! My DD is 4 and a half months and I haven't used my buggy yet! Discrete feeding in the sling is an absloute breeze. You can even walk around at the same time - I've found myself feeding in the most public / supposedly unbreastfriendly places - on the bus, in the queue at Argos - I swear the only way anyone would know I was feeding would be the slurping noises and my smug expression. Bet within weeks you won't be giving it a second thought but in the meantime I remember M&S always let me have a big comfy changing room when I wanted privacy with DS.

Do breastfeeding tops really help with discrete feeding? So many of the special breastfeeding tops (example) are just cardigans/wraps over tank tops with slits in them, and I imagine I'd be faffing about for ages hardly discrete trying to get baby to latch on thru that little slit in the fabric.

I'm in the mood to splash out some money on breastfeeding tops, but are they really useful??

Seems easier/more reliable to do what I did in past and just lift a baggy shirt which will then mostly fall around the baby once baby is well-latched on.

it's a long time ago now, but I bf all 4 dcs and never had any problems at all, I aggree it's easier to pull up a baggy top, shawls etc are quite conspicuous imo, It's not so easy when they are still learning to latch but in a few weeks you won't think twice! go for it, and be proud of setting such a positive example!

I think the bf tops are a waste of money ime.

the 2 top thing worked for me: vest top with other top on top. pull top of vest down to expose nork, but top 2 is covering nork so not a problem. baby is in between the 2 tops. tummy covered by vest top, norks covered by second top. all sounds v involved but actually pretty simple.

hth!

You get used to it pretty quickly and the older baby gets, the easier it becomes to latch them on quickly. If you know any other bf-ing mums then going for coffee or something and both of you feeding together does wonders for your confidence - I had 2 friends who were supremely unbothered about feeding in public and being around them was what helped me the most.

People really don't notice, the only times I got comments was when ds was really little and a couple of times, older ladies came up and said how lovely it was to see and how much they wished they had been able to feed in public when their babies were small. If anyone is looking at you, that's probably what they're thinking - the very few people who are bothered by it look away quick and pretend it's not happening!

It is difficult not to feel self conscious but there is really nothing to see and people don't notice if you just get on with it quietly. I bf on a train from the south coast to Scotland, a very nice lady opposite said not to worry, she bf in 1946 in one of the old fashioned carriages full of commuting men-apparently they just retreated behind their newspapers!

if you have a quick peek round whilst you are doing it you will notice that really no-one is looking (or generally cares). In fact, IME, most people if they do notice make a point of looking away.

I remember the first time I fed in public, I had gone to meet my girlfriends for lunch, and it was the first time they were going to meet DS. I wore a cardigan and a vest top, pulled the vest top up and the cardi covered everything else, they all knew I was planning to bf but it took four of them to arrive before one said 'oh my, I didnt realise you were feeding him' so don't worry too much.
I also used a blanket over my shoulder for latching on or if I wore a top that wasn't covering enough, for me it was my big baby belly I was bothered about rather than my boobs.

Just go for it, all will be well. I do remember that nervous feeling but it goes away really fast once you start. I have enormous boobs too, but you soon get the hang of being discrete. Good luck!

I found people didn't really notice, and I've fed both kids everywhere...in the queue at the supermarket, on the bus, in church, while out walking the dogs etc etc. I have a brill sling (v sim to freedom slings) and once I'd got bf established it made life so easy to feed discreetly. Church was amusing tho...ds was grizzling just before 2 min silence on Remembrance Sunday, so fed him, rather than listen to crying, and could only hear slurping instead!! was convinced everyone else could hear!.

I found that feeding in baby feeding rooms and at baby groups helped me feel at ease about doing it with dd cos you are usually surrounded by other people doing the same. DS tends to faff around still when latching on (is 19 days old)so I'm not that confident about feeding in public just yet but once he gets better at latching I'll worry less

Just get on with it - you'll soon get your confidence. I fed ds from day one when out and about and loved it. I never had a bad look nor word. Infact I lost count of the amount of pensioners who commented on how nice it was to see a young mum feeding.

Thanks for all the tips. I tried a b/f vest from mothercare but found the slitty bits strangely small .

I know it's something I'll just have to get over and deal with. It's funny because I'm not really worried about negative reactions, I just feel a bit shy about it.

Whatever you do don't choose your first feeding session sitting on a bench in the M&S men's shoes department as your DH tries on new work shoes Needless to say, it was a bit of a disaster, think I was trying to run before I could walk.

As most people are saying, choose a cafe or somewhere where you can sit with your back to the room, and remember that no-one will be looking at you (easier said than done I know). With me ds2 was harder to feed in public, he was/is such an impatient little bugger tike that he would always start to cry as I was getting my norks arranged, so people would look (I felt) because of the noise not the bf.

Good luck, you'll be great!

if you have a selfridges they have fab feeding rooms as do most shopping centres if you still feel a bit shy about it. i also found feeding ds in a sling helpful so i could carry on shopping or whatever rather than having to sit down for an hour whilst he fed!

Haven't read all the thread but someone suggested to me to Bf infront a full length mirror at home a few times before going out - it will give you confidence of how much or how little other people can actually see.

Mothercare usually have feeding rooms as do boots - most John Lewis and Debehams do as well so if you don't feel confident doing it in a cafe or restaurant the go for a feeding room.

Good luck you will be fine! and if people look it isn't because your boob is hanging out it is because you and your baby look gorgeous.

Missbumpy, I know exactly how you feel, I was so worried about feeding in public but I have to tell you I never received any negative comments, and I ended up bf everywhere. I had a couple of bf tops from nct the sweedish ones I found really good they made me feel less exposed, try going to places with feeding rooms and then slowly try to experiment more, ie dr's surgery/clinic visit or mother and toddlers. The first time I bf in public was at mother and baby yoga when ds was 6 weeks, they were all bf mothers and only about 5 in the class, one mother already feeding so felt fine.
Don't worry know one will every say anything negative and you get plenty of wistful/loving looks from grannys!
Good luck xxx

Wear a loose baggy top to disguise. Practise at home infront of mirror till you feel confident. Many of times when I bf in public I had people coming up to me to look at the baby as they didnt even realise I was bf they just thought he was asleep in my arms. No one ever said anything negative. It can be done, good luck