Any tips on b/fing in public? - I'm scared!

[missbumpy]

I feel really funny about b/fing in public. I don't have a problem with other people doing it but I feel shy doing it myself. I feel like it's really restricting our movements as I have to time trips out around feeds so that I don't have to feed her while we're out or so that we're near somewhere that I know has a feeding room.

Has anyone got any tips on b/fing in public? I'm not sure I could do it without exposing vast amounts of breast while I faff around getting DD into the right position etc. I know some people recommend draping a muslin cloth over LO but it feels a bit mean to create a curtain around DD's head!

Don't bother with breastfeeding tops - I could never line my nipple up with the slot and ended up with the baby rooting like crazy at the fabric and me getting the giggles - they whole process drawing far more attention to us than pulling up a loose top would have done. Buy some lovely loose t shirts instead.Take a shawl with you to drape round until you feel confident - and remember, as I am always saying to my nearly teen dd "Honestly, noone is loking at you, they are far more interested in their own business" Before you know it, you'll be feeding with gay abandon everywhere - I once fed ds one handed while unloading my trolley in Sainsbuys with the other!

When dd was younger I always wore a cardigan on top of a normal top - that way the cardigan covered my flabby sides that would otherwise be on show and dd covered my flabby tummy. Now she is 10 and a half months its a waste of time trying to feed her in public as she tries to see everything round about her and ends up flashing my nipples!! Just as weel she raely feeds in the day now.

Once you get over the first time it will be much easier to feed in public - people rarely notice anyway.

How old it your LO? Is it still early days? Because quite honestly bfing was a military operation for me for about 2 or 3 months! Pillow? Check! Glass of water? Check! Snack food? Check! Muslin? Check!

It just takes practice really, you will get the hang of doing it discreetly. I also recommend the 2 top solution. DD will also get better at it too soon and will be a lot more helpful!

MissBumpy, during the last weeks of my pregnancy I worried about this constantly, in fact I remember starting a similar thread

I can honestly tell you (DD is nearly 6 weeks old now) that it wasn't anywhere near as terrifying an experience as I thought it would be.
The first time I BF in public was in an open cafe in the local shopping centre. I was really worried about DD's initial latching on, but she latched on really well and as soon as she was on you couldn't see a thing.
I have only had positive comments from people while I have BF'ing DD out in public. I was so worried about negative comments, as you well know you are very vunerable after you have given birth. One little old lady said to me that it is so nice to see a mother feeding her child and that she wished she had had the guts to do it in public when she had hers.

I actually took my mum the first time I took DD out shopping as my mum isn't backwards at comming forward IYSWIM. I knew that mum would n't stand for anyone who had anything negative to say to me. Taking mum gave me the courage to BF in public the first time, and I haven't looked back since.
If you could take someone with you, to give you that support you need, I promise you will be fine.

Good Luck

LOL as if anyone notices most of the time. The only way to get used to it I'm afraid is to do it. We all feel shy to start with - you should have seen me in the maternity ward drawing the curtains round my bed so all the other mummies couldn't see me

One thing I did find that was good though was a pashmina, because I could create a tent affair, over shoulder like a sling, DD was not draped but concealed unless you actually stood over me.

The best thing I found though was find a friend at a baby group who is also breastfeeding and go out for coffee a lot. Then you are trendsetter!

I'm a pulling the top down kind of feeder so I was always showing off loads to anyone looking. I always needed somewhere comfortable for a good comfortable feed and so I always ended up in the comfy armchairs in Starbucks. I could always angle the chair for a bit more discretion and then I could just drape a cotton nappy across the top of my boob so it wasn't out for all to see.

i was a pulling top down kind of feeder, never bothered with special bra's or tops, just a normal top and a muslin if it was somewhere posh or with family etc...i did drape the mislin a couple of times and baby used to hold it, not over their face as such but over the fleshy bit of my breast...also i may add i have massive breasts so there is an awful lot of flesh to be seen....but as has been said once you start feeding in public you get over it and honestly, not many people notice!!....and if they do they dont stare or say anything....and if they do come home and rant on here about them!!haha!!

Hi
I posted on this exact top pre christmas ahead of a long car journey to family for christmas. Other than a distastrous attempt under a blanket at a birthday party, I had never fed in public other than John Lewis or Selfridges feeding rooms. I even bought a "slurp and burp" sling thing to cover up in case of emergencies.

But I went with the advice I received on my thread regarding the "2 tops" (I also found the slits in the purpose built tops too small). And off I headed to the motorway service stations of England...

I am delighted to report that the "2 tops" solution was perfect! I didn't even have to resort to my emergency slurp and burp thingy. I basically worse a vesty thing from GAP under a loser fitting top that had button opening. Pulled up the vest (so covering chest) and down the normal top.

It can be done! Good luck

Hello! I bf my DD in all kinds of places, best one was on a VERY CROWDED BUS at rush hour, we were already late for a feed and 6 month DD was telling everyone very angrily that Mummy was ignoring her needs, so when I whipped them out (under my lovely big blouse of course) no-one cared and were probably all very relieved! The trickiest thing was how Noisy she was - I had to feed her during a wedding at a stately home, and her grunting of delight at being fed was so distracting to everyone that I had to take her out and feed her in the corridor. Have fun though, don't worry about people noticing, I only ever had positive comments. Cardigans are great for warmth/decency esp if you are outside.

Two tops for me, too!
Breastfeeding in public gave me loads of confidence, it's a really good idea. Try a cafe with comfy seats to start with. People can be so lovely about it. Good luck!

my tips

• the first few times, don't be alone. i had DH with me and that helped enormously.
• start with somewhere quiet and build up to the busier places.
• where possible, find a table near the edge/ corner of a room and if really nervous, sit with your back to the room. I never really needed to do this as I would simply park my pram strategically and it would give me privacy.

i personally found that a muslin/ blanket does help. as DS is getting older, he gets easily distracted and I find that blocking out stimulation really works.

I totally understand the shy thing, am still there myself. I stayed at home quite a lot but that also paid off since DS is now in such a great routine. But have not once received a negative comment - have fed in a starbucks at Luton airport, in the queue to board an easyjet flight and in a very posh restaurant - and not one person has batted an eyelid. As others say, people carry on with what they are doing and if they do attempt to make eye contact, it has always been to give me a smile of encouragement! Good luck! and enjoy!

oh and forgot to say, be incredibly proud about what you are doing for your LO. Anytime you feel nervous, remember why you are bfeeding - give yourself the boost. I look at my DS who is a thriving and happy baby and feel so happy that i persevered through the more tricky parts to bfeed him.

I have not read all the posts so I'm sure this has been said but it will become far easier to pop LO on without fuss in time.
I remember feeding ds in the car in car parks and looking for feeding rooms everywhere. By the time I was more confident, I quite wanted someone to express their disaproval but after 2 dc and years of bf they never have.

I'm a two tops girl (or was until DS didn't need day feeds), but did have a couple from H&M that were quite good but were basically the same effect.
My first public feed was at the NCT bumps and babes which was good as at Pizza Express so really very public, and sort of broke the ice for me. Fed in all sorts of places since including a pedalo, and although a couple of funny looks, no comments.

I love my bfing tops, wear them all the time. I find a muslin difficult, but a long scarf or pashmina is perfect. When i was nervous at first dh said really in most cultures people would think poorly of you for not feeding a hungry baby, not for bfing in public which is true i guess. be proud!

There's not really much more I can add to the good advice given here (although i would say you may want to try techniques like the cover/muslin over baby, the different combos of tops ect in the house so you are more confident when you do get outside

I just thought I'd give you all a giggle at me and my friend- I usually felt pretty unsuccessful at being discreet whilst bf until I saw my friend feed her dd in the pub (after lunch not in the early hours!) she essentially sat there in the middle of a large pub with her entire chest on full and glorious display, and did not give a flying monkey.

IT did put my own shyness to shame

Oh and no one said a word either!

I wore a poncho for a while, nice and cosy, plenty of room for her to wriggle and no embarrassment when she latched/unlatched/latched/unlatched. In this weather you can be forgiven for keeping a winter woolly one on inside!

I must say I didn't have too much trouble whilst out and about and after a few times, I forgot what I was doing and just relaxed into it. On the whole, people are keen to be helpful and give you some privacy. You get a few oddbods, but they are just oddbods and should be pitied.

Good luck and enjoy!

Try a 'Boob' brand top - they're fab - or any other similar top with a double layer thing over the breasts; you lift up one layer which leaves a comfy gap - but really really discreet.

Also Top Shop maternity is good, NCT do a good but less trendy rugby top which is super discreet and helped me get used to feeding outdoors/in front of family, etc.

GO FOR IT - I'm winding up bf now (dd 9 months) but fed her on trains, in art galleries, on buses, in Starbucks, god, everywhere! Noone ever said a word and I too had people come over and say 'well done' etc.

Be brave - it really frees you up.

Just remembered another one, it happened when I had def got over being shy - desperate for a feed, DD crying on the way home from a long walk, only place to sit down was outside the Royal British Legion, next to the footpath with all the parents going to collect kids from school. No problems or comments from anyone until the lads playing darts inside started calling out "It's alright, don't be shy, plenty of room inside if you like" etc, etc, - all I could feel was pity for the poor lads who were too shy to come out and have a proper ogle (I had my back to them), and there was me showing all to the locals walking by. After a while you honestly forget that they are anything to be shy about, they simply turn into milk spouts. For a while at least! Don't be scared, you are a super mum for breastfeeding.

You should feel very proud that your doing the best for your baby and for you. Have you tried nursing tops? or wearing a nursing vest under a normal top so you are not showing any tummy?

i didnt bf for long and after being told off nursing dd in a gp surgery!i was nervous about feeding ds2 but decided there problem not mine.i carried ds in a pouch sling which was also handy for feeding as i used it as a sort of cover.and sometimes a scarf.be proud!

I never got on too well with breastfeeding tops, but did find that nursing vests like these were really useful as tehy kept my tummy covered up and warm while I just lifted up my normal top to feed. I also used a ring sling for feeding quite a lot.