when and what help worked for breastfeeders?

[Mummymonster]

Hi There!

Bit of a "professional" interest here. We are trying to establish a BF support group in our local area. I would like to know

When did you decide on how you were going to feed your ds?

When was the time you needed support to enable you to continue BFing?

What helped for you?

If you gave up bf, for any reason I'd like to know too.

This info will help us to target our support and be there when it is required.

FYI I intended to BF before I was ever pg, being a bit of a feminist I was "I didn't grow them to stop my chest from fraying" so in my mind it was the only option. I had difficulties at the start with positioning and getting DS to latch on but I was really lucky to have a la leche councillor as a neighbour and she gave me the help I needed. I never looked back after that, even when DS wanted feeding every 90 mins for 20 mins a time.

DS was exclusivly breast fed until he started solids and I stopped when he was 13 mths old as he seemed to loose interest. I was really lucky, I was able to express half a pint at a time and he didn't mind the packaging (spoon, cup, bottle, boob) so long as it came.

I'd like to be able to support as many mums as possible, but having had very few difficulties, I'd like to be aware of any problems other mums may encounter.

I will not be judgmental in any way, what ever worked for you is the most important, BF of FF or both.

Thanks in advance for any input.

Hope your group is a great success, MM.

You and the people setting up the group know about the research into this, yes?

The Health Development Agency has a good paper on what sort of support helps; the Infant Feeding Initiative has published an account of all its 70 projects; the book Enabling women to breastfeed has some good papers.

The first two (HDA and IFI) are published on the web.

I had a section and my milk came in quite late. I was told in hospital that I was starving my baby and told in no uncertain terms to give formula. Luckily, the hospital, Kings, had a great bfc who just gave me reassurance that my baby would be fine with colostrum for a few days and that it would all be OK, and that was what I really, really needed to hear. Also, going home made a huge difference. The hospital wanted to keep me in until ds had regained his birth weight and kept weighing him (only four days old) which was very stressful. Going home to no scales and peace made a huge difference.

decided pre pregnancy
needed support around wks 6/8 - exhaustion and found the support via LLL, and my friend bfing at the same time.
gave up on my 1st at 6mths and hope to further with my 2nd maybe 8mths, depending on sleep!!!!

I could have done with much more support on the labour ward. I'd been to a breastfeeding workshop run by Kings before ds was born, so I thought I was fairly well prepared, but once I was given the responsibility of feeding this tiny baby I lost all confidence.

I left hospital the morning after ds was born, so pretty much left to my own devices. The midwives who came to visit all said I was doing it right, but I ended up with terrible backache, bleeding nipples and convinced that my ds was malnourished (he wasn't). I ended up going back to the labour ward and found a very nice midwife who sat me down and told me the best way to hold my baby which made an enormous difference. I did go along to the regular breastfeeding sessions run by Kings, but they were short staffed and I had to wait several hours to be seen, by which point I'd had enough and wanted to go home.

To be honest it was talking to friends that helped me through the first couple of weeks. The workshop that I went to before ds was born was good, but there was no mention of how hard it can be for some people. And none of the healthcare professionals I spoke to after ds was born acknowledged this either. I was told that if I was doing it right then it wouldn't hurt, but it did - like hell.

Also assumed I would do it before I got pregnant. Needed support from Day 1 for at least 6 weeks as I found it excruciating and after a Caesarean positioning was difficult. Knowing the benefits made me continue, but at the time it seemed it would be just as painful to stop. What kept me going were daily phone calls and encouragement from mother and sister, as well as several calls to NCT breastfeeding line. I'm glad I got there in the end and I continued for 12 months.

I formula fed dd. I thought about breastfeeding but due to being brought up amongst all bottlefeeders and their off putting stories and starting to have nightmares about breastfeeding I decided not to. In hospital I ummed and ahhed when asked how I would feed and was told I had to choose one way or the other, mixed feeding wasn't possible. What I feel would have helped me was better information/support antenatally, more contact with other breastfeeding mums and being encouraged to try and see how it went (then discussing issues such as mixed feeding later) rather than being made to feel it was all or nothing.

I breastfeed ds. By this time I knew a lot of breastfeeders, had talked through some of my previous issues with bfc's and had a local bfc come round to my house to give me some basic info. I also had a homebirth so was in my own environment rather than the pressure of a hospital ward with its lack of privacy. When I hit problems I knew who to call (the bfc) had a supportive midwife and HV who supported me through breast refusal and my baby loosing far too much weight. I was under no pressure to give formula, they knew what was good practice and had the sense to know when they didn't know wnough and so referred me or found out the answers.

I always knew i would breastfeed, I just couldn't think of any good reason not to and I could think of tons of good reasons not to bottlefeed.

I was lucky not to need any help or support with breastfeeding, bean knew what he was doing straight away and I soon got the hang of it. but I found it really strange at my postnatal group that nobody was breastfeeding. they all had older babies than bean but if I had been a bit unsure about bfing or had found it difficult I think it would have been very easy for me to give up.

It would have been lovely to have had a bfc available in the post-natal ward itself - the midwives tried to help, but TBH they were quite useless.

What made a huge difference to me, with my second child (I didn't do so well bfing my first), was the realisation that I may be a modern liberated woman who can do anything she sets her mind to do, but that I have just given birth, I'm knackered and hormonal and I don't have to do anything. So whereas after no1 was born I went out and about, did a bit of light housework, and so on, after no2 was born I sat on the sofa, ate, drank, rested - and breastfed! There was loads of precooked food in the freezer, in foil trays so that I didn't even have to deal with a saucepan or plate. I just concentrated on feeding and on my children. It was also helpful to know that it didn't really matter how much I ate (as opposed to what I ate), I could eat as much as I wanted. I know that it's not what the books say, but I have always found that I feed better and the babies were happier if I wasn't hungry or thirsty.

otto, aloha - I'm another King's girl!

Found the antenatal breastfeeding workshop helpful-ish, but didn't really prepare me for how hard it was going to be. Holding a plastic doll to the boob just didn't prepare me for trying to woman-handle a heavy, wriggly, sleepy, often crying babe into position!

The bf counsellors there after the birth are brilliant - but as otto says they're a bit overwhelmed. And some of the midwives (particularly night staff) on the postnatal ward were terrible, of no help at all when I needed help feeding dd.

The only reason I continued feeding was because I never considered anything else as an option - I have eczema, asthma, allergies and was determined to do everything I could to give my dd the best chance of avoiding that anguish. So I wept through the bleeding and cracked nipples at every feed, but never even thought about formula, was just miserable. Gradually it got better - but took about 3 months for feeding to be completely pain free.

The most important thing I would say is for better training for midwives and health-visitors - the bf counsellors are great but there aren't enough to go round and most women will end up relying on the postnatal ward staff and then their HV for advice. Also an acknowlegement that bf is hard and painful for many women (I know not all) - I used to feel so bad when I heard that it shouldn't be hurting if I was doing it right, but no-one (even the bf counsellor at King's) could tell me that something was wrong with my positioning. Just knowing that it was ok to find it hurt, but that it SHOULD start improving would have helped hugely.

Good luck with your group Mummymonster.

Goodness me Pidge, it sounds as if it was agonising. Poor you. I do agree that sometimes you do need someone sensible and calm to say, 'yes, it's hideous isn't it, but it will get better' as well or even instead of trying to fix it.
My ds used to fall asleep at the breast all the time. And I was given lots of advice - strip him down, tickle him, wet clothes to wake him etc - but nothing worked and in the end he just grew out of it. I think I wasted a lot of time and emotional energy trying to change something that wasn't really a problem. Also frequent feeds aren't so terrible and babies do grow out of them. I used to lie and say he fed three hourly when it was nearer every 90mins or 2hourly. I felt 'wrong' and embarrassed that he didn't go longer!

snap aloha. But we have to remember that those tiny little stomachs are designed to digest human milk - therefore they do it much easier than they could digest an artificial replacement! That is why bf babies feed more often, and also why they poo more often too but healthy.

I agree Aloha, the people I listened to were those who sympathised with how painful it was but told me it would get better.

When did you decide on how you were going to feed your ds?
When pg

When was the time you needed support to enable you to continue BFing?
Immediately after birth, + in the first few weeks

What helped for you?

1. Antenatal breastfeeding workshop - invaluable
2. Brilliant midwives in hospital helping with positioning, massaging engorged breasts, applying Savoy cabbage leaves and making a makeshift bra out of a sheet!
3. Weekly meet-ups with former antenatal classmates to exchange tips and experience. We ALL breastfed for at least 9 months and I'm sure we wouldn't all have managed it without no's 1&3. I for one had only intended to b/f for about 6 weeks and am still doing it at 10 months!

I breastfed DS until I went back to work at 24 weeks and had a nightmare until about 9 weeks.

What helped most - the support of my then partner, mum and friends, and a fantastic HV who was also a breastfeeding counsellor, who didn't harrass me about DS's weight and was 100% supportive of breastfeeding.

She also sent me to Kings (must be something going on there!).

I agree with whoever said we could have done with breastfeeding sessions on the wards. Most of the midwives I came across knew nothing about teaching mothers how to breastfeed. Literally nothing. Knowing how to help a mother breastfeed, is not the same as knowing about breastfeeding. When I mentioned this to my marvellous HV, she said she had mooted the idea of breastfeeding support group sessions on the labour ward, but had been told that they didn't want to de-skill midwives. It's difficult to de-skill someone who hasn't got a skill in the first place, though.

DD was breastfed for 2 weeks and then I gave up. I'd moved area so had a standard HV (useless, harrassed me about DD's weight and knew bugger all about breastfeeding), had split up with my partner by then and had a toddler to look after, so just couldn't face the 9 week slog again without support.

HTH

Sorry decided when to breastfeed years before being pregnant - didn't occur to me not to!

I always assumed that I'd breastfeed, maybe because my mum did?
I went to a pre-breastfeeding class at the local hospital to show us how to do it.
The most useful piece of advice I was given was in hospital after a c-section - as Aloha said it takes a couple of days for the milk to come in. During that time my ds wanted to suckle almost non-stop - I was worried that he was hungry and asked if he should have a bottle and was firmly told 'no' as he would be fine until the milk came in - and he was.
The thing I would like to have known was that in those couple of days the non-stop suckling made my nipples raw and sore, but as soon as the milk arrived they healed up and b/f was painless and easy.

When ds2 arrived things went exactly the same way - lucky me

I too always assumed I'd breastfeed. And I too went to the King's workshop with hilarious Swedish video full of women skiing down hills before flinging off their reindeer sweaters to nourish their sturdy toddlers, and the sex-film lilting voiceover telling you to 'go topless wherever possible' (an option I did not explore, living as I did in a first floor flat, and giving birth in February). It was actually quite helpful. Having said which the threat that I wouldn't be allowed to go home before I'd got breastfeeding sufficiently established did scare me stiff - fortunately I had fabulous community midwives who really, really helped me. And I could phone the King's b/feeding line for help with thrush, and the hvs at my surgery were so in awe of the helpline that they meekly prescribed whatever medication was recommended.

And I found it really, really difficult - not just physically, but emotionally. The utter dependence on me really wore me out. So did the leakiness and the achiness and the general feeling of being out of control in yet another way (in retrospect I wonder if I had mild PND). I felt great relief when I moved on to mixed feeding at three months, before I went back to work at four. I went on feeding night and morning - which suited us both - till dd1 dropped it at 10 months.

But I find formula a bit spooky - this weird powdered synthesis of something my body could produce for free - so I stuck with it for dd2, and am still giving her a morning feed (having exclusively b/fed, including expressing for four days a week, til six months) at 17 months, and feel a ridiculous sense of bovine smugness.

When did you decide on how you were going to feed your ds? - I always planned to breastfeed, but decided to try and bf exclusively after I told an OB about my own babyhood which involved a massive reaction to cows milk and subsequent gastroenteritis which left me in hopsital for 3 months. The OB said she felt it would be best to avoid cows milk in my children "for as long as possible"

When was the time you needed support to enable you to continue BFing? At 3am when ds was crying latching on, then unlatching and so on. Many tears and threats of adoption. I found it very, very painful for about 8 weeks but luckily had good support.

What helped for you? An independent midwife (I know, not everyone can have one of those) and an amazing lady called Elizabeth at St George's in Tooting who came to my GP surgery and did a bf clinic that I staggered to when ds was 2 weeks old. She was the first professional who said it could hurt even if you were doing it right, but that it would get better.

I'm really glad I stuck with it.

Good luck with your group!

I am really not a 'joiner-in' so went to no ante-natal classes or breastfeeding workshops etc, however because I know from very early on that I would be having a section for placenta praevia, I never really thought about the birth but did loads of research on post birth issues such as breastfeeding and read tons of stuff on the net etc, and I do think it helped me. Don't get me started on agency midwives... I think the key place you need experts (real ones!) is in the people you see just after the birth, be that a HV is you have a homebirth or quick discharge, or on the postnatal wards. It also made a huge difference to me - absolutely huge - to know people who were breastfeeding so there was someone friendly who was doing what I was doing esp in the shy early days. I really recommend things like NCT tea groups, baby/postnatal yoga and baby massage classes just so you can be with other people who are breastfeeding. It takes away a lot of the strangeness of breastfeeding for the first time.

How did I decide? The more I knew about breastmilk the more I wanted to do it. I tried to keep an open mind on how difficult it might be and not have too many illusions, and it wasn't until ds was born that I realised quite how important it was to me and how emotionally I felt about it. I feel I should add that I did give formula to ds in hospital and feel quite uncomfortable with that even now when he is three. I wish I hadn't given in but I was in such a state it wasn't true. The midwives weren't very nice to me. It would have been easy to give up at that stage.

I agree with Aloha that the key place for help has to be the postnatal wards and the HV. I had ds1 in hospital and had to stay in for 5 days. This meant that by the time I went home bf was well established, and all the staff in the hospital were a great help - especially on the dreaded day that ds was constantly feeding. When dh came in in the evning the midwife just took ds, gave him to dh and told him to go into the tv room for half an hour to give me a break! They took teh time to explain it all to me and to really help me get the positioning sorted.
With ds2 I had a home birth and the midwife made sure that ds2 was feeding well before she left, and supported me every visit, as did the HV.
I was lucky in that I didn't have a problem with breastfeeding. I was always going to try as my Mum and Nan had both breastfed and so I really knew no different. With both I have exclusively breastfed tillweaning, and stopped at 9 months with ds1, and still going at 12 months with ds2.
We have a breastfeeding support group round here that is run by a couple of midwives. Its once a week at a church hall, just a group of mums getting together to chat and drink tea and support each other.

I'm always amazed by how much sabotaging midwives and HV's do. I'm sure it's not intentional, but boy does there need to be a real overhaul of training and attitudes. I'm absolutely certain that without the unswerving support of my first HV and the breastfeeding group she ran, I would have given up, and because I didn't get that with my second child, I gave up.

It's interesting to see how things are changing. I had my ds at Kings earlier this year and they would never have suggested giving formula. In fact I felt they bullied one woman into breastfeeding, but that's another story.

Many hospitals do now seem committed to encouraging breastfeeding, but this commitment doesn't really go far enough and I think better training for hospital staff and community midwives is needed as not everybody can get to special workshops and clinics, particularly in those vital early days.

I decided that I would breastfeed before ds was even conceived, just because it seemed like the most natural thing to do.

Thanks for all your input here.

It's definatley given me a lot to think about and to discuss at our meet up tomorrow.

You lot are just fab

I rang a BF counsellor about week two, we'd had trouble getting dd started but a wonderful hospital midwife (following on the heels of a rubbish one) took loads of time with me showing me how to hand express and explaining everyhting and linked me up with a night shift midwife expert on bfing (this was about 4 days post birth and the first time dd successfully latched on). At home dd was feeding OK but for a very long time and still using formula top ups (advised by midwife, probably technically incorrectly but I think they did help us in a way. The bf counsellor helped me get a better position and nag dd to feed more efficiently. Then I went cold turkey on the top ups and felt good about feeding her myself for the first time. Also called a bf counsellor when I started getting mastitis symptoms and the best advice was hot/cold showering the breast followed by pump expressing to clear the blockage, worked first time. Good luck x