when and what help worked for breastfeeders?

[Mummymonster]

Hi There!

Bit of a "professional" interest here. We are trying to establish a BF support group in our local area. I would like to know

When did you decide on how you were going to feed your ds?

When was the time you needed support to enable you to continue BFing?

What helped for you?

If you gave up bf, for any reason I'd like to know too.

This info will help us to target our support and be there when it is required.

FYI I intended to BF before I was ever pg, being a bit of a feminist I was "I didn't grow them to stop my chest from fraying" so in my mind it was the only option. I had difficulties at the start with positioning and getting DS to latch on but I was really lucky to have a la leche councillor as a neighbour and she gave me the help I needed. I never looked back after that, even when DS wanted feeding every 90 mins for 20 mins a time.

DS was exclusivly breast fed until he started solids and I stopped when he was 13 mths old as he seemed to loose interest. I was really lucky, I was able to express half a pint at a time and he didn't mind the packaging (spoon, cup, bottle, boob) so long as it came.

I'd like to be able to support as many mums as possible, but having had very few difficulties, I'd like to be aware of any problems other mums may encounter.

I will not be judgmental in any way, what ever worked for you is the most important, BF of FF or both.

Thanks in advance for any input.

I have a gorgeous, extremely lively, alert, healthy-looking, thriving baby boy who is now nearly 5 months old and has never had a drop of formula since birth - and I intend to keep it that way ! He has been gaining weight consistently on the 25th centile. That is despite numerous problems so far, including his inability to latch on for longer than 1 - 2 minutes for the first 4 days after birth (I thought he was going to starve - I called a friend who had breastfed both her sons who came round and helped me get him latched on finally - baby and I have never looked back since : )). He had ongoing thrush in his mouth for several weeks which meant he had a sore mouth and refused to feed for hours on end, general fussiness on and off since birth, some due to too much let down reflex which made him choke and cough and refuse the breast, etc...
I have refused to give up breastfeeding despite (bad) advice, from friends and relatives...who have no knowledge, understanding of breastfeeding. My female GP told me to "give him a formula bottle at night" to make him sleep through the night when he was only a week old...I knew this was classic bad advice...and a sure route to baby refusing the breast eventually. Knowledge is power as they say...I knew my facts (though no practical experience) about breastfeeding when I was still pregnant.

I intend to introduce him to solids no sooner than necessary (i.e. at 6 months) and to continue to breastfeed as long as he is interested, i.e. 1 year or more.
I have called many helplines along the way, including NCT, La Leche Leauge and others. My best source of information has been a website called kellymom.com (American) which has saved me on numerous occassions. The La Leche League website is also excellent.
Some of the advice from telephone helplines has been good, but I think that in most cases the help they could provide was limited as it was over the phone and not in person. I think you need to see mother and baby in person in order to assess their problem properly. This is especially important in the first few days after birth as mother and newborn are learning HOW to feed. I believe many mothers give up because there is no, or very limited support from relatives and health professionals and unless your are absolutely pig-headed like me, it is very, very easy to give up when no one supports you and gives you wrong advice.
Best of luck with your efforts.

I never considered bottlefeeding, I knew breast was what I wanted for my kids, before I got pregnant.

I needed support with both of them in the first few days most of all, and for the first few months with DS1.

My midwife (independant) did a reasonably good job, getting me to use shields (flat nipples). The hospital midwives meant well, but mostly just annoyed me. I didn't call any support lines with DS1, it would have felt like I was betraying my midwife, I think. I think a breastfeeding counsellor could have got me off the shields faster, or kept me from using them in the first place. But we got rid of them at three months, and I breastfed to 18 months.

With DS2, I had smaller problems, but spoke several times to a friend who is a bfc. If I hadn't known her, I would have asked other breastfeeding moms. It's just much easier to talk to people you already know.

With DS1, I needed longer term support to not move to mixed feeding, as the HVs were hassling me to (he put on weight slowly). But I got that support from my DH. I did give in to them and wean at 16 weeks, which I regret.

I breastfed dd for 6 months and had no problems at all. I attended a breastfeeding workshop run by the community midwives whilst pregnant and although I felt silly trying to breastfeed a doll, I feel this did help me with positioning once I had a real baby.

I also gave birth in a "baby friendly" hospital and was encouraged and supported by the midwives from the second dd was born. I was advised by a friend to stay in hospital until I felt confident with breastfeeding and could latch on properly and easily. She also told me to buzz a midwife every time I wanted to feed dd to make sure I was doing it right. It was great advice and I'm sure it helped me to get it right in the first couple of days.

I attended a breastfeeding support group every week just to socialise but it was also the first place I breastfeed in public. It was useful to see other mums breastfeeding and note how they managed to do it so discreetly.

As I had had no problems feeding dd, I expected to feed ds (just born) without any problems too. If there's one piece of advice I wished I'd been given as a second time mum it is that breastfeeding another child is a completely new experience and you have to start again from scratch. I wish I'd read up on how to latch on and had a practice again so I would have been able to get ds to latch on properly before his bad habits stuck. I had forgotten the basics and was surprised I'd remembered so little after just a couple of years. I should have asked the midwives in the hospital for help every time just like with dd, but I assumed I didn't need the help but I was wrong.

Now, because I had cracked sore nipples from poor latching on, I've got nipple thrush which is making it really hard to carry on. Fortunately bottlefeeding is such a phaff, especially in the middle of the night, that I have a huge added incentive to keep going with the breastfeeding (other than that it's best etc.)

Another thing worth noting is that when I was experiencing pain whilst breastfeeding and was looking for advice, I couldn't find any phone numbers to call for help. It's only today whilst looking through my child's health book for something else that I found all the numbers I needed on the breastfeeding page ie for infant feeding advisor etc. In the early days you don't have time to read through this book so it's worth pointing out to mums that that page exists.

I breastfeed for the first month with my baby, was told that I had to the baby on a bottle as the baby was not putting on enough weight on (the baby lost weight for the first week in hospital and took a while for my supply to kick in). I was told to feed 10 mins on one breast, then offer 2 fl. oz every 3 hours. I had no option but to take the advice I was given. I regret the decision immensly. I have been continuing with the breast offering and bottle, but as the baby has got bigger the bottle has been taking over. I haven't totally given up breastfeeding, my baby likes to feed early hours, after naps and when it wants comfort. I have stored up breastmilk and am giving expressed milk to the baby. However, today, I have noticed that my baby has had plenty of wet nappies but it the first day ever that it has not dirtied any nappies. I tried offering water and it turned its nose up. I am offering a little more expressed milk in the hope that it will help ease the problem and will try and cut back on the formula and offer more breast. What is the best option for me to do ? I want to continue breast feeding as much as possible and want to try and increase my milk supply ? Can anyone offer any advice ?

the only way to increase breast milk is to get the baby suckingon the nipple! drinking lots of water helps, but its just a case of the more you feed the baby, the more milk will be produced.

as long as the baby is not ill, or seriously underweight, then chuck the bottles in the bin, including the formula, sterilising equipment etc. everything, and just sit there and feed the baby. perseverance will pay off. if you can get someone else to make you some meals mean while, brilliant. but do persevere.
good luck
oh, breast shields can be lifesavers.

oops, meant nipple shields

poppy, how old is your baby, how much formula are you giving...oh, and what sex is your baby?!

I never doubted that I'd breastfeed. Went to workshop, thought all would be fine. Baby friendly hopsital and straightforward birth. Skin to skin straight after, but ds wouldn't latch. Persevered for 48 hours in hospital with various midwives helping (each new one, every 8 hour shift offered different advice), but between all of us we just couldn't get him to latch at all. I was by this time v v stressed and v tired. They bloodtested ds and said he was hypoglycemic and jaundiced and insisted I formula feed, as he needed something. Eventually managed to get him to latch on using a nipple shield, but I was then never convinced he was getting enough. Went home after 5 days, still only managing to get him to feed sporadically using nippleshield, and with him being topped up with formula when I had panic attacks about dehydration and weight loss. Midwives and HV all continued to support with breastfeeding, and I kept trying, but at 2 weeks he was still loosing from his birth weight, and I was a mess, v tearful, feeling like a failure. At this point I did in desperation ring NCT breastfeeding counsellor, but was too tearful to discuss properly, and I effectively gave up. I could have done with the help while still in hospital, although I don't know what more the MW's could have done. Maybe a bf counsellor at that early stage would have got us going better. We never managed to latch on properly. Continued for next 6 weeks with gruelling routine (suggested by midwife) of every 3 hours breastfeed for 1/2 hour, top up with formula, express for 1/2 hour. V little sleep. V stressed. The complete sense of failure and inadequacy was outweighed by the ENORMOUS relief that he was putting on weight and looking healthier and formula won as he drank more and more. I still hate to think about those first 6 weeks - my worst ever.

hia mummymonster-good luck with the group- mine made me realise i could carry on after going back to work. here's my boring story (sorry for noteform bfing dd)

1. When pg i thought yep i'll give it a go but if i fail i fail... 2.bought bottles and formula 'just in case' 3, dd born- wanted more than anything to feed her and was devastated when midwives 'blackmailed' me into letting them give her formula a couple of times.
2. bleeding nipples in hosp but home amd carried on- got the hang of it a bit better.
3. district mwife co-erced me into attending bfing support group when dd 3 weeks old which i did.
4. they've maintained me through 3 lots of mastitis and enabled me to see that i could do it and work (albeit part time) Without the group I may well have given up fairly early on or at least when i went back to work when dd was 7 months old. I still go as it's still a big help wit things like weaning etc etc BUT also to support the new mums coming through now as I was supported in the beginning. Even simple things like what sort of top to wear- ie ordinary( but i thought you had to have special bfing tops cos that's all I'd seen) Sorry to waffle but can give more info if you want

Forgot to say am still bfing dd at 10 months and will carry on until she wants to stop (within reason of course) Am also trying both of us on dairy free diet at mo because of her eczema so added incentive

Nipple shields - used them exclusively with DD1 as she wouldn't latch on ever. bf for 8 months with her. Although I wanted to stop at 3 months - had to carry on as she wouldn't drink from a cup or bottle. Fussy little madam! Wasn't that sure about bf in first place and felt a lot of pressure to do it - perhaps this is why I felt quite negative about it all with her. Didn't get enough support and had no idea you could mix ff and bf at that stage.

With DS I decided to give bottle from earlier age so I wouldn't be 'stuck' feeding for so long again. So mixed bf and ff from 5 weeks. Ironically am still bf twice a day at 13 months! Think the mixed feeding suited me much better and therefore made me feel more positive about carrying on for longer! Plus he learnt to latch on eventually so not had to use nipple sheilds since he was 4 months old... If you have big boobies I think nipple shields are a big help as little mouths don't seem able to latch on IME!!!

Sorry this post is so long - but I wish I'd found a group like yours. I spent so many hours (days?)surfing the net for help. I also found kellymom website really heplful. Didn't know about MN then.

Decided when pg.

Went to an NCT BF workshop when pg - rubbish! Told you all about nipple cream, shields etc but didn't teach you how to bf - no videos or demos or anything. Also no preparation for how much pain you may go through. Would have really liked BF mums to come along and show you and tell you what it was like at first.

What would really have helped me is the knowledge that it might really hurt - for about the first 6-8 weeks in my case, but that it would eventually pass. That way, you can take each day as it comes.

Really needed support in first few weeks. Tried a helpline (can't remember which but not NCT as they took about 8 hours to call back) but they didn't say anything I couldn't find on the internet. You do need someone face to face.

However, still need support now. You never stop worrying about whether they're getting enough and you encounter new problems as time goes on - like how to get a distractable baby to feed!

What did help was support of BF friends - knowing your not alone really does help. A group/get together would have been good.

Another thing which helped was one comm MW who said "the important thing is to feed your baby" one time when both me and DS were in tears - he hungry, me bleeding. She was right - it was better to give him some formula than starve him cos I was too scared to put him back to the breast!

Support in hospital was generally good - put to breast in del room, lots of offers to check technique (like others all said ok, but still got blisters etc). DS got formula too due to jaundice. This started me on a slippery slope as I kept topping up because he was a "hungry baby" - why does nobody tell you they're all hungry when they're newborn and that you will just feed feed feed .

Anyway, the good news is that at 6 weeks I decided to cut out the formula (c250ml a day) and go exclusively BF. Best decision ever!

Poppy101 - I just took DS into bed with me for a couple of days and surfaced only to eat, wash and change his nappy!

My little boy is now 13 weeks, have read that fennel tea might increase supply will try. Little boy has been having whatever milk I can express in a bottle in the day, try offering him breast, not interested when he is tired. Last night was good woke up at 1am and had some breast and again at 5am. He likes the comfort every night. Will try and offer him again in the day today, see what he thinks. If all else fails I will continue to express and offer him as much as I produce and use my supplies from the freezer. I am very disappointed to have had to put him on formula and regret the decision and advice that I was given. I am just hoping that my supplies don't totally dry up. I am expressing at the moment every 3-4 hours, don't get a great deal off and using an electric pump, don't know what else to do. My baby can be very stubborn especially when he is tired.

i bf my first ds when i was 16. i had no help or support, i just plonked him on.
he was 6 months when i stopped feeding, he didnt seem interested any more.

i bf ds2 until i returned to work at 29wks

i have just decided to stop bf ds3 at 5 months. i have beeen mix feeding for a couple of weeks and the amount of formula he was having made me think he will be just as well on formula full time.

i think however long you feed for whether its 6 days, 6 months ar 18 months (although you wouldnt catch me doing it once they have a tooth!)you have done the best for your child.

!!WELL DONE TO ALTHOUGH WHO TRY!!