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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

why dont younger mums breas feed

590 replies

codswallop · 14/11/2004 14:39

on the whole?
18 year ikd nighbour has just had a baby !) musch to her parents horror.. and isnt even trying to b feeed.
why is this?

OP posts:
moomina · 14/11/2004 17:52

Ahem, you do all know a middle-class girl who feel pg when at school, actually...

pupuce · 14/11/2004 17:54

My 2 pence worth
My mother didn't BF and I am a committed BFer so despite having no role model (and also someone who definitely did not encourage me and strongly suggested I stop at 3 and then very forcefully at 6 months) you can BF happily...

Just wanted to correct technically the comment that formula doesn't kill... it does and even last year it made the headlines.... it is NOT common of course but formula can be contaminated by bacteria in the manufacturing process.
Also (of course) in countries where the water supply can't be trusted.... formula can kill too.

Rowlers · 14/11/2004 17:55

Aha! But are you representative? Or one of the few middle class girls to fall preggers so young?

hmb · 14/11/2004 17:55

And if young girls have been 'sexualised' too young they see their self worth in terms of their sexuality.

And we all know that it is hard to see yourself as a sexal being when you have a maternity pad at one end and leaky boobs at the other. So by not bf they can return to their self image of 'sexy girl', not 'mummy'. It could be one way of distancing them from the reality of the situation.

Socci · 14/11/2004 17:55

Message withdrawn

Rowlers · 14/11/2004 17:56

Very, Socci, hence my "generalisations"

nikkim · 14/11/2004 18:01

I can remember reading an article in a magazine like heat or Now about celebrity mothers, that perhaps would appeal to younger mothers ( although of course I read it so that is a generalisation - although am I young - 26 when had dd - rambling now!!) anyway to get to the point it amazed me how these celebrity babies were seen as little more than an accessory. Interestingly breastfeeding was reccomended - but only as a aid to weight loss - no mention of the health benefits to the baby. i think the only other mention of interaction between mother and child was that babies were a usefull alternaitive to dumb bells - as they can help tone your arms if you repeatedly lift them above your head!!!

motherinferior · 14/11/2004 18:02

I think this is a really interesting issue - I've wondered about it too. I think b/fing is a very middle class thing - yes, there are exceptions (I know at least one working-class mother who b/fed her kids for ages, to 18 months - 21 years ago) and that, as Rowlers points out, a very high proportion of teenage mothers aren't middle class (yes, again I know there are quite a lot of exceptions including on MN!). I also think that it's probably a vicious circle - teenage mothers don't get much support getting b/fing established because they're not expected to b/feed.

And b/fing is associated with saggy bosoms. Which is a hard prospect to face at 40, I can assure you, let alone at an age when one's bosoms might be expected to be of general interest to the public.

Socci · 14/11/2004 18:03

Message withdrawn

moomina · 14/11/2004 18:07

Maybe it's not strictly relevant as the pg was ectopic. However, thinking about it, I'm not sure I would have breastfed the baby if I'd ended up giving birth at 16. That's despite certainly describing myself as middle class, having been breastfed myself, etc etc. I'm not sure why, though. Oh, I'm going to have to go away and consider this for a bit - it's not something I like to think about very much now, tbh...

tammybear · 14/11/2004 18:11

I think it also depends on if the mums go to antenatal class. I went to a teenage mum ante/post natal class, and we were all told about breast feeding and the benefits etc, and we all tried it. Some of us were successful, some of us werent. But I know a few young mums who never went and have never considered bfing.

Socci · 14/11/2004 18:15

Message withdrawn

tammybear · 14/11/2004 18:29

and also a comment hmb made, made me think. a lot of young mums will be more self conscious about the way they look and flashing their boobs out in front of their family could be quite embarrassing for them!

Lonelymum · 14/11/2004 18:48

Why do people describe breast feeding as getting their boobs out in public? I hope I never did that! The only times I have seen a bf woman's boobs have been in the privacy of their houses when I have been round having a coffee, ie with friends in a private place. I think suggesting that you are getting your boobs out in public is perpetuating a myth and will not encourage any potential first time breast-feeder to get started.

baggybear · 14/11/2004 20:44

New member here so HELLO ALL!! hmb - i agree, young mums have had to deal with so much. They have, in quick succession faced puberty then their "sexual powers" and now they are faced with natures hardest job - motherhood. No wonder they don't b/f. They want to get back to what they should be experiencing at their age - being attractive to young boys!! B/f is NOT attractive to young boys! (does this make sense?) However, I know some very good young mums and afterall, feeding your baby is not the only part of motherhood.
And to motherinferior, i am certainly not middle-class but I am a succesful b-feeder (ds3 is 16months and still happily b/fing) and a counsellor-in-training.

blossomhill · 14/11/2004 20:49

baggybear - welcome to mumsnet

I just wanted to say I agree with you on the class thing. I find it really upsetting that in this day and age we are still going on about class. I just find it strange that people would link class to breastfeeding? I wouldn't know how to categorise myself and personally wouldn't want.

JoolsToo · 14/11/2004 20:54

I don't think its got anything to do with class at all - either you want to or you don't or someone makes you feel guilty that you should - so you give it a go and you either take to it or you don't - why dissect everything???!!!!!

I tried with dd BUT it was because I thought it was what I SHOULD do - unfortuntely dd was a lazy feeder - it didn't work and I went on to bottles - she was still a lazy feeder but I was a lot happier. Didn't even bother with ds1 and ds2. They're fabulously healthy, dead pretty and dead handsome, mind bogglingly intelligent and look like they were brought up in Gro-Bags as I'm 5' 2" dh is 5' 8" and dd is 5' 6" and ds's are 6' - so I must have been doing something right

blossomhill · 14/11/2004 20:56

I agree joolstoo - It is personal choice! According to one mn member bottlefeeding is the same as putting your child in a car without a seat belt. Now where is the connection with those 2?????

Gobbledigook · 14/11/2004 20:57

None bh - it's a very poor analogy so we'll ignore it.

baggybear · 14/11/2004 21:04

Thanx blossomhill for the welcome
And JoolsToo, you are SO right - this has nothing to do with class. At the end of the day all pregnant mothers are told that Breast is Best and if you give it you best shot when baby is born, then great. If it works, even better. But if it doesn't then nevermind. Although formula is not anything like b/milk it is closer to it than anything else (think what our mothers and grandmothers were given if they weren't b/f!!).
THE most important thing for young mothers is good information. If they are told everything about the benefits of b/f then perhaps there would be an increase in b/f young mothers (especially if the weightloss benefit is included in the info!!!)

JoolsToo · 14/11/2004 21:10

blossomhill - I wouldn't even go to the effort of responding to a post like that - it laughable

blossomhill · 14/11/2004 21:15

joolstoo - I know but I am so as it hit a real raw nerve with me. It was as though that person was saying I was a careless mother and I know I am not. I just found it so, so offensive. It is so easy to hide behind the computer screen but would they actually say it to someone directly? I think not!

Original poster
codswallop · 14/11/2004 21:16

I think you are kidding yourselves if you think its not to do with class and/or education

OP posts:
blossomhill · 14/11/2004 21:20

Codswallop - how can you say that???

JoolsToo · 14/11/2004 21:21

bh - don't be angry - you keep doing a fantastic job as a mother. Sympathy is all I feel for the poster.