Really upset about not being able to take my baby with me if I set up a Peer Counselling session for pregnant women locally... advice please before I go this afternoon to try to sort things out...

[Mossy]

I've just finished my training as a Peer Counsellor to provide mother-to-mother support to those wanting to bf.

Sadly I also have to be in a full-time job come January (sooner than I expected due to cash-flow) but I really want to help and came up with the idea of running a session at my local Children's Centre for pg women who want to bf on a Saturday, probably the first Sat of every month to start out.

Often pregnant women are still working right up until the end of their pregnancies and can't make a week-day session, and it would be great for me as I could still work during the week and volunteer on weekends.

I mentioned this to my friend and as she was already in the Children's Centre this morning she mentioned this to them.

They thought it was a great idea apparently, said I should go down and see the existing Peer Counsellor (who runs a postnatal session on a Tuesday p.m.) obviously...

... the one caveat would be, however, that I couldn't take my ds with me (currently seven months old) as he might be a distraction!

I am really upset by this; I actually think it would be great for pg Mums to see real live bfing in action for starters; a picture is worth a thousand words and at another antenatal breastfeeding workshop I attend it's actually a real help to use ds as a demonstration model!!

I'm going to go down this afternoon to speak to the current peer counsellor to see if she wants to get involved, but right now I feel a bit like "f*ck it, what's the point?"

There's no creche either and tbh I'll be working all week so won't want to spend even more time apart from ds...

I just wanted to sound off really but also get a bit of advice, what's the best way to persuade the Children's Centre that having ds with me would actually be an asset rather than a distraction?

I see where you are coming from but I'm afraid I agree with the CC. Yes, your ds is a good example but yoiu cannot effectively do both jobs at once.

I think it would be a great idea to bring your dc-- as you say actions speak louder than words. And 7 month olds aren't THAT distracting, not like 2 year olds!

Oh, bugger, Mossy

Might it be an insurance thing? I know they're a CC, but are they covered for peer counsellors bringing their own children in?

If that's not it, can you ask if you can do it on a trial basis?

I mean bring him with you.

I cqan see why he might be a distraction, but agree that having a demonstration is better then not having one.

Perhaps you could arrange your DP to be there to take DS away when his starring role os over, or else organise some other BF mums to come in with their baby. Thay way your pregnant mums will see a live demonstration, and you won't have any distractions?

If you are anywhere near Leeds, I'd gladly volunteer

I manage to help out at the other bfing session at which I volunteer along with ds... he is in a sling most of the time and is pretty quiet or is feeding...

I will already be working full-time and won't see ds during the week; much as I want to help other Mums who want to bf I don't want to do it at the expense of my own son.

I can see where they're coming from to some extent but it's like they're putting obstacles in the way and they probably have in their head the image of a baby screaming in a pram...

I guess if that's their stance it's pretty pointless me going down this afternoon ... it's second-hand from my friend though so I don't want to just take her word for it.

I think they should at least let you try it out to show whether it works in practice or not. I do get their point that a 7mo probably will demand your attention... could you argue that you have thought of that and will do A, B, C, etc. to ensure it isn't a problem?

Once he's crawling you'll probably be happier without him there tbh. I used to take my ds1 to real nappy demos, but had to stop once he was mobile as it became impossible.

Xposts with everyone (that's what happens when you type with one hand!) I think the idea of doing it on a trial basis is good... and I wonder if it is insurance-based?

I had better go down this afternoon really.

Can you take some video of him feeding (sounds daft but I use video a lot and find it effective).

sorry but i think they have a point.

atm your ds is in a sing/or feeding, but in the next few weeks/months he will become mobile and then that picture of baby always in sling will have gone - and then he will def be a destraction.

I'd go down and talk to them directly - your friend may have wires crossed. Or not put the case for you bringing your child across properly.

Yes will go down this afternoon... I think it just knocked me for six...

I mean, in some cultures women take their babies to work with them full-time, so if I can't take ds once a month to a bf workshop at a children's centre, seems a pretty poor show...

I totally agree. It's ludicrous

Well, I'm leaving for the CC in a moment and have calmed down a bit so hopefully will be able to say what I want to say without coming across as lentil-weaving weirdo or neurotic Mum!

All sorted out.

Don't know if my friend got her wires crossed but I spoke to the centre manager and the current Peer Counsellor and they are well up for it.

I sold the idea that actually around here you don't often (I didn't ever until I attended bf support groups which of course you don't antenatally) see women bfing and it would be great to actually see it in rl, to know that there's not so much of a fuss, it isn't painful and yes you can even do it when they have teeth.

And once I'd sold the idea they agreed with me.

Phew!!

I'm so glad that you can do it. I work ft, and would love to go to a bf group, but theres not even anything on a Friday afternoon that I could go to.
Ds who is 18 months and very mobile is very happy to stay in his Ergo or MeiTai if theres people to look at, and when I went to the sling show I saw 3 year olds happy to hang out in the same way.
If you are anywhere near Worcester, would be happy to demo too !

That's great, and hopefully you will encourage more women to BF for longer as a result

That's great, Mossy!

It makes me so sad, this "babies get in the way of normal living" attitude you get everywhere.

Well, they do get in the way, but I wish people would stop seeing it as a problem to be solved.

I think there's a HUGE benefit to showing newly-bf mums how easy it is to bf an older baby, and that life doesn't stop when you bf.

Obviously, if ds gets too demanding of your attention to the point where you can't do what you're meant to be doing, you'd have to rethink. But certainly both of mine - very high-maintenance babies who walked early - were very happy to be carried around chatting to people for hours. They only cried when put down.

In an ideal world you'd take your baby absolutely everywhere, and if that meant doing things a little more slowly and flexibly - so be it.

Thanks everyone for your support!

Cmotdibbler, I would love for you to come and do a demo but I'm in St Helens in Merseyside... bit of a trek!

Yes I would like to encourage women to give it a go if they are thinking about it, I just want this to be a nice gentle workshop like the other antenatal one I attend, not preachy or anything just honest facts and a "how to". I think actually seeing women bf would be a real help to start with, to see that no it doesn't hurt and it can be done whilst getting on with life too...

Looking forward to it now... will start in January!!

Just saw this, great news

I was due to start the Peer Counsellor (and Healthy Eating Volunteer) training at our local Sure Start Children's Centre - until they told me that they couldn't provide childcare for dd while I did the training. They have a nursery on the premises but there was no funding available for childcare.

I considered paying for it myself despite being a single mum on benefits, but decided against it when I realised that there would be no childcare available for women wanting to attend the sessions I would end up running. Which makes it all a bit daft really.

It seems to be a thing about Sure Start that there are good intentions/ideas but no money to make them viable.

It's daft, isn't it?

A friend of mine wants to do her breastfeeding volunteering in the local hospital but was told that the volunteer training day (she is already Peer Counsellor) is a whole day long and she can't bring her nine month old baby. Who is breastfed, and still feeds often during the day.

So to help other women with breastfeeding she has to jump through hoops that involve not breastfeeding her son for the day.

If this government was really serious about increasing breastfeeding rates, and didn't just pay lipservice to it, they'd sort out situations like this; they have volunteers who want to help, for free, or even to pay themselves (for their own material, or to promote the events they hold, or like you Stripeymama for childcare) but still obstacles are put in the way.

Actually if they were really serious they'd extend paid maternity leave and pump funding into training midwives and other health care professionals on the front line in breastfeeding and how to actually help and support women rather than say, "breast is best but I'm sure your latch is right and it's meant to hurt and what's a tongue tie never heard of that?" or whatever.

Sorry, sorry, rant over.

similar probs over here as well mossy, no childcare so none of us can volunteer at the local hosp.
is your sure start normally open on sats then? ours isn't. i might suggest it to them.

Mossy, could you let me know how you found out about peer counceling?(sp?)
I am really interested in getting involved but am not sure how to even get started.
Thanks