Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

classic comments from mils, mums and friends and family about bf

104 replies

robinredbreast · 25/11/2007 20:52

seems that alot of negative comments come from your "nearest and dearest"
rather than from the general public who seem quite happy for you

heres a few quotes ive had

"yuuukk a baby sucking on a tit thats disgusting"

"that should be kept private"

"dont do THAT when so and so is around"

"yes i agree with the woman on that programme that bf in public is inflicting it on others"

along with the standard anytime your having any problems with ANYTHING get her on bottles !!!

anyone else got any others to add

OP posts:
ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 26/11/2007 08:36

MIL comments:

I had moved out of the noisy dining room to try and get ds to sleep and had him cuddled up close to me so it looked like he was feeding. MIL said 'are you cheating to get him asleep again.' WTF?! 1. I wasn't feeding him. 2. Why would it be cheating?

After watching a programme about extended bf'ing, dp and I were discussing it with his mum. Her opinion was that extended bf'ing was deviant behaviour. Deviant? Deviant? WTF??!!

It's starnge really as MIL is lovely and quite an openminded person. I think it is to do with her hang-ups as she tried and failed to bf her two.

NotQuiteCockney · 26/11/2007 08:42

My favourite was from a pro-BF friend who expressed surprise that I was still feeding DS2 (probably 2 at this point) because my boobs were (are) small. She thought they needed to be big to keep feeding.

Very confusing and strange, and now I find myself collecting examples of people I know irl who are still feeding and are tiny-norked like me.

DontCallMeBaby · 26/11/2007 08:48

Grand total of 1 point on the bingo ("Is she feeding again?") but then (a) I only bf exclusively till 5 months so wouldn't have got some of the comments listed there and (b) despite being a very meek and mild person I apparently give off very prickly vibes and rarely get hassle over anything.

I had one opposite comment to the 'er, are you still "feeding her yourself"' one ... went for an evening out with colleagues when DD was v small, and one guy (seeing me with a soft drink) asked 'are you breastfeeding?' Everyone else gasped, and one person said 'you can't ask that!' But he was a father of two small children with a third on the way, and it was a perfectly reasonable question, as it was to me! So I just said yes and laughed at the rest of them.

GogoTheSmall · 26/11/2007 11:02

My DH when I had my 1st bout of mastitis at 2 weeks: "Give the baby a bottle, you've made your point" (I should add this is the only negative comment I've ever had from him, and it was only because I was in pain - usually he is v supportive!)

My FIL when we were getting bfing established and dd was feeding often: "Are you sure your breastmilk isn't deficient in vitamins?"

My next door neighbour when I told her I'd just had a 2nd bout of mastitis: "I'm not surprised, it's because your breasts are depleted because you've been feeding for so long" (16 weeks)

DaisyMoo · 26/11/2007 11:04

Not family, but waiting in a hospital outpatient clinic once a little boy was watching me breastfeed dd and asked his grandmother what I was doing. Her reply "She's giving her baby milk like animals do"

dressedupnowheretogotilxmas · 26/11/2007 11:17

i had the i want to feed her comments too and lots of yo must buy bottles to so insisted on the tommee tippee closer to nature

they in turn got very my daughter/ in law is still feeding baby herself at 6 months 7,8,9,10 they became very proud of me and they brag about the blw at 6months too

bless em i still get just because you fed cj doesnt mean your next one will take to it

OrmIrian · 26/11/2007 11:23

It's wearing you out! Look, you're so pale.

He needs to learn to use a bottle

Isn't he a bit big for that?

Bitty!

hoppybird · 26/11/2007 12:02

My mother has come out with "you're not STILL feeding?" comments for both my kids, once they'd passed the 12month 'milestone'. My dd is now 15months, and is still very happily bf, and my mum tells me "you don't HAVE to do it anymore, babies dd's age are allowed to drink cow's milk, you know".

She has also commented more than once that she thinks bf is hazardous to my health and can cause "extreme exhaustion" and will "drain you and dry you out".

Still, I have a recently discovered yet another potential benefit of extended bf, which I will share with her when she worries about my health again. Apparently, accordingthis extensive study breastfeeding for a total of 24months or more in a woman's lifetime (adding up length of time bf each child) decreases her risk of developing rheumatoid arthritis by 50%.

cmotdibbler · 26/11/2007 12:53

My favourite was 'he'll grow up obsessed with breasts at this rate'from my mum. Of course there was an easy retort of'completely normal then ?' to that...
Weird, cos otherwise she's totally supportive otherwise, and fed both db and myself to 9 months, and only quit with me when I became a persistent biter.
MIL too scared to comment I think !
Have had the bitty thing from colleagues

monkeybird · 26/11/2007 14:54

MIL (everytime I see her, with all three...) 'Do you think you'll still have enough milk by 6 months then?'

sfxmum · 26/11/2007 14:58

when dd was about 10months old, we where out visiting some gardens.

me - I need to find a bench to sir and feed dd
MIL - oh I wouldn't like to take my boobs out in this cold
me - good thing you don't have to

we actually do get along and I bf till past 2yrs old

andiemisletoe · 26/11/2007 15:07

from mil it's not natural from fil why are you doing something all new why can't you just use a bottle

Highlander · 26/11/2007 16:08

MIL, ' that breastfeeding must be allright, it said in Hello! that Kate Winslett is doing it.'

Wisteria · 26/11/2007 16:12

MIL - (although I haven't had her grandchild that will be exclusively bf yet) made a comment when we were talking about her niece's new arrival.

"Well apparently X is going to breastfeed, can't see why she doesn't bottlefeed, blah blah blah -it's just more natural and far more hygienic, don't you think?"

Me, shuffling feet and staring at the floor - "um, well, no not really I fed both my girls for ages"

Her

Was a corker, and oh we did laugh......

bamboostalks · 26/11/2007 16:59

Best ones ever from my sil, "bf deforms the shape of your nipples, you'll need an op" and "do you think that your husband will really be able to look at you like a sexual being again? you have ruined your mystique for him."

Hmm..yes love I think pooing in labour probably did for that mystique already!!

claraenglish · 26/11/2007 17:20

Message withdrawn

moondog · 26/11/2007 19:23

Clara,how awful for you.
I hope you find the courage to b/feed when out and about (I hesitate to use the phrase 'in public' as the reality is that it can be done very discreetly and, as one quickly learns, nonoe tends to be looking at you anyway! )

One of the joys of breastfeeding is the sheer convenience of it-able to be up and out in the time it takes to stuff a nappy in your pocket.Hope you get a taste of that freedom soon!

themildmanneredjanitor · 26/11/2007 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Madlentileater · 26/11/2007 19:54

I was told- by a midwife- not to drink fizzy drinks as the gas would get into my milk and give the baby wind!!!
my youngest is now 12, bf them all till 2, including twins, had very few negative remarks in public, quite a few along the lines of surely you deserve a break etc from my mum, esp when feeding the twins, just let it all wash over you, go for it!

notnowbernard · 26/11/2007 20:06

I've had some classics from my Mum, but I must stress they have not been malicious, or intended to upset or anything... more from the point of view of someone who hasn't breastfed (namely, naive)

  • You don't need to carry on anymore, do you? (6m) You've given her a good start
  • She's feeding AGAIN?
  • It's because she's probably your last, isn't it. You're keeping her a baby (when told dd2 still feeding at 15m)
  • You'll be like that Mum I read about in the paper still feeding her dc at 4

And my personal favourite:

(dd2 gesturing for a drink, but has dropped daytimr bf)
Mum: Does she want some proper milk or is she still having it from you?

Bless

TheOldestCat · 26/11/2007 20:18

I'm incandescent with rage at some of the terrible things people have heard. Pah. And smiling at the funny, naive ones.

Apart from a couple of colleagues who have expressed loudly how 'disgusting" breastfeeding is, I've been lucky to have only heard supportive things. But now I've passed the year mark, it's changing. "you've done your bit" and "it's fine you've done it to stop her having allergies, but you can give it up now". And I keep hearing the reason I'm so tired and "thin" is the feeding.

IsawBUMPERkissingsantaclaus · 26/11/2007 20:20

"along with the standard anytime your having any problems with ANYTHING get her on bottles !!"

yep, that pretty much sums it up, along with some corkers from my mum:

"well, she'll need something else soon won't she?" dd was 11 weeks

"feeding every 3 hours? It's just not normal"

and the best one, when i deigned to let her feed dd with some EBM:

"ewww, breastmilk even looks disgusting!"

IsawBUMPERkissingsantaclaus · 26/11/2007 20:26

Oh and "you've got a bee in your bonnet about bfing, you'll do it whenever you like without thinking about anyone else"

and because I was having problems feeding dd sometimes I was "selfish"

daizydoo · 26/11/2007 20:32

My family and I were talking about how long I was going to breastfed my 9 month old DS and my brother asked how long normal people breastfeed for !?!

DaisyNightingale · 26/11/2007 20:34

Every time my MIL has seen me since DD was born 25 weeks ago she has asked "Is she getting a bottle yet?"

Everytime I have BF her (and if I go into another room, she always comes to "keep me company") she always, but always remarks "You just don't know how much they're getting though, do you?" to which I just respond "enough"

I think that maybe she is disappointed that she never managed to feed DH or his brother as she was hospitalised after both of their births and in those days the babies were left at home with their dad and GPs.

Bumper.... for you babes, but good on you for getting this far