Going cold turkey breastfeeding a dairy free baby

[whatsthescoregeorgedoors]

I don't want to breastfeed any more. Please do not try to persuade me to do this.

My son has CMPA and probably multiple allergies or intolerances. I have cut everything g I can think of out of my diet, he is on omeprazole. After a period of time in which he was settled and we were getting somewhere with sleep etc I ate something that disagreed with him again and we are having more shit feeding, waking through the night, screaming, failure to nap.

And I am starting to hate him. I don't want to feed him to calm him down any more, I just want him to be on formula that agrees with his tummy and to be able to parent both him and my older child effectively. I want my DH to be able to help me with my high needs baby and to be able to spend time with my DD.

My milk supply keeps going lower due to stress, I have put on half a stone but am still struggling for milk supply despite pumping (breastfeeding teas also upset my son), he is scraping by in terms of weight gain (very stressful, about to drop another centile on top of the 2 already) and I have psoriasis all over my body. I need to stop
Worrying about how much he is getting.

I need to stop. He is 3.5 months old and wonMr take a bottle easily - he will take a bit of Alfamino/neocate mixed with Nesquik or breastmilk when hungry, but not enough.

Can I just go cold turkey (happy to pump to prevent mastitis)? Will he switch if I just make breastfeeding unavailable, or go away for the weekend (DH is encouraging me to take DD away so that he can battle it out)?

What bottles can I use that might make his reflux less bad?

Update;

We gave up. He took the first bottle, some of the second, but then refused after that and it seemed to make his reflux worse. Plus I was worried he would get dehydrated.

I pumped, but that and an active day on Wednesday with my daughter meant my supply is now very low. My baby is fussy at the breast. Have been taking fennel tea but now realise that can be the wrong thing to do too, as might also reduce siuply. Have been drinking . Going to sit at home and feed and pump all weekend now. I am so stressed out and that isn't helping. If I go near him with a bottle, he screams.

He has put on 2oz in 10 days and I know that his weight has been stagnant for the last week of that.

I don't know what to do. Will wake him every 3 hours and just feed around the clock.

I am so unhappy. I hate my life now. I wish I hadn't breastfed.

Have bought a supplemental nursing system in the hope that it will improve things for us. I desperately want to get some formula
Into him.

I absolutely am terrified that I have already stunted him for life or ruined his health by not being able to feed him enough.

Next week I can give him food. He will be 17 weeks and the doctor says this is fine. I mean, I don't think there is any choice now.

And when I say not being able to feed enough, this has been happening for the last 10 weeks since I dried up when he refused to feed due to his reflux. I couldn't get a bottle in, so I continued to feed, but it has been such a struggle. So minimal weight gain for 10 weeks. GP says ok because he looks really well. But I just think he looks so little. And I am just so desperate. Did anyone have a baby who failed to thrive and is fine now?

My baby was breastfed and just screamed alot, blood in his poo, Dr recommended changing him to formula but when I could get formula in him, it made no difference! Looking back I think he had a dairy and wheat sensitivity, and also some reflux. He had 'failure to thrive' and held on to the 25th centile just about.... He is now 13, 6ft tall and healthy, fit and strong, you wouldn't even think he was a scrawny baby and toddler!
My advice would be to start on solids, 2 out of my 5 babies refused bottles no matter what... So be prepared to still feed... But you will feel reassured that baby is getting solids too. It's tough but alot changed between 4 months and 8 months, one day you will look back and it will be a distant memory

I feel for you both. I have a soya intolerance and feel like deep fried shit when I accidently eat it.

Both my babies hated bottles. Didn't matter if breast milk or formula. Needed to get second child drinking milk away from me at 4 months due to me going back to work.

The only thing that worked was me going away for the weekend, leaving baby with dad and my mum agreeing to pop round a couple of times. 1st feed bottle wasn't accepted and he proceeded to feed with a baby syringe. My mum found a cup in a pharmacist which was suitable from 3 months old. Had to be careful but this was the game changer and after a couple of feeds, baby would happily drink from the cup. When I returned home we purchased Avent bottles with the spout and never looked back. I continued breastfeeding morning and night for several more months.

I think the milk came out of the bottle too slowly. Once baby had faster flow from the cup the milk was drunk.

If had to go away as if I was there I couldn't cope with the crying and would just breastfeed. I went about two hours away. Too far to come back on a whim but close enough to come back for an emergency. I also had a great time with my friends. I forgot to take a breast pump so last day was verrry uncomfortable, don't make that mistake!

Wish you well OP.

Thank you! I dream of the 29th centile. We are at about the 5th now. It is so stressful.

@Finaj

Maybe I will give it a go and leave him with DH. I just feel so stressed about all options. I just desperately want him to take a bottle. Maybe my DD and I can go out for a bit and my DH can try tomorrow with all the bottles we have in the house. Argh!

OP you can get through this 💐

"Donor milk would not work - donor would have to be dairy, soy, egg and nut free"
Have you tried contacting the milk bank? Lots of donors will be allergen free so don't write this off as an option.

Sorry if I've missed it up thread, have you tried reflux meds?

Yes he is on omeprazole.

Ok, will try donor milk bank.

Look up and try the cup option, even newborns can sip from a cup so might be worth a try

I think it's not just the bottle but the milk. Will try pumping to increase supply as the allergen milk is gross!

Another for weaning earlier but I would ask for paediatric dietician assistance straight away since he is very small and lots of factors. I’d recommend any purée mixed with Neocate milk (if suitable) at the beginning to get used to the taste. Persevere with neocate regardless of the taste. Don’t worry about the flavour. Just like solids, they will have to get used to new flavours.
Hot weather or a stuffy cold could make things more difficult for you so seek paediatric dietician. Appreciate that’s easy to say in Covid times. Reflux medication can cause constipation which makes feeding very uncomfortable for the baby. How are the nappies?
Best wishes, I remember the stress vividly.

Thanks. I genuinely cannot get him to take neocate. Will have another go first thing in the morning, when he is chirpiest and may take some bottle. He is absolutely fine in terms of constipation - goes once a day or once every two days. Mucus nappies though.

I have some dietitian guidance from a friend who has been through the same thing but 3 months ahead but will ask for weaning guidance specific to us too.

Good luck OP. Best to get in the system and be under the care of a p dietician so you have them on hand if things get even more complicated. They are excellent.
Ignore this if you know this already. Bottles can be more fast flowing than bf. Reflux babies can guzzle as it soothes their throat but it makes them feel worst. Flow rate was an issue so be aware of bottle teats.

*worse

OP

I'm sending all the positive vibes I can, sorry I can't offer practical help but other posters have and I hope you find a solution soon.

[quote whatsthescoregeorgedoors]@Finaj

Maybe I will give it a go and leave him with DH. I just feel so stressed about all options. I just desperately want him to take a bottle. Maybe my DD and I can go out for a bit and my DH can try tomorrow with all the bottles we have in the house. Argh! [/quote]
All the best OP. You will get there.

I also remember the cup had to be offered before baby was hungry otherwise all hell broke lose.

baby is 20 now so despite the initial stress mainly to parents, has grown up fine and doesn't remember the weekend from hell.

Sending positivity your way!

We were in a similar situation on I had a fast letdown so when for months she fed for seconds at a time during the day and most of the night she was able maintain the 15th percentile.
We took out dairy and soya and she moved up to the 25th percentile. We discovered further allergies to tomato, peppers, coconut and eggs and she moved up to just under the 50th percentile. We started weaning and she started moving and we have added beef, fish celery and celeriac to the no list. Her weight has now plateaued at 7.9kg so is now falling down on the verge of falling back below the 25th percentile again.
She's 10 months and we are only just moving into 6-9month clothes and in fact we only took the last of her 0-3months clothes out of circulation last month!

We have had bottle aversion and breastfeeding aversion on an off. It usually flares up when I have eaten something she reacts to or if her reflux is playing up. One particular bad day I was expressing in car park of the gp surgery desperately trying to get her to take a bottle as she hadn't fed at all in 6h and screamed as soon as I put her near the breast. We got a formula prescription after this but the GP didn't check the ingredients list and gave us one with coconut it so she screamed from 7pm.until 3 am having had 1 oz!
We paid to see a private paediatrician with an allergy specialism who found us alfamino which is milk, soya and coconut free! Result! She isn't a fan but it is good to have as a back up. Since weaning we use it to make her breakfasts and the nursery have it to give her feeds before naps. She doesn't take a lot 2-8oz during the day in total but it takes the pressure off me. She drinks it better cold and when she knows there is no breastmilk on offer.
We recently did a long journey visiting our support bubble. Just as we were leaving I made a 2oz bottle of formula and in the car I was able to express another 2oz to add to it. She happily drank it! No chance of doing that in the home! My milk quickly tastes funny, I suspect high lipase so she definitely prefers freshly pumped! She has never really taken more than a few oz of any milk from a bottle. I have given up with the idea of solely formula feeding but knowing I can make up a bottle of we head to see family for the day or to be able to cook with it is reassuring and eases the load on me.

We have a battle with reflux too. In our situation we have reflux and reflux triggered by allergies so the diet and formula haven't and won't resolve all of her discomfort due to reflux. We are on high dose omperazole - make sure you get your dose reviewed regularly, not just for weight gain but to move up to higher dosing if needed. Our gp had kept us on the 1.4mg/kg dose and she would only have to put on the tiniest bit of weight and it would stop working. Our paediatrician moved it to 3mg/kg and her reflux is causing her less discomfort. We exhausted the use of gaviscon it worked on and off but we were always balancimg the bowel issues. We did take lactulose along side it to help with this. Then it stopped working and we could hear her refluxing despite the gaviscon (she is predominantly a silent refluxer). We have now started on domperidone which has made a significant difference!

We have also had a

My sister was a cmpa baby too and she ended up being below the 0.4th percentile!

She is now the only one of us without allergies!

Wow @Superscientist

Thank you. That sounds like us, but with less good feeding and more dropped centiles. I am hopeful that we will eventually get baby to take alfamino, even on cereal. At the moment I am dairy, soy (though have just realised a few things I has been eating that have dairy in - doh!, nut, egg and gluten free). He needs 15mg omeprazole at 3mg/kilo and we have just managed to get him on the increased dose. I have my fingers crossed for an improvement. Hopefully when all soy leaves my system we will see one, but who knows.

Have been feeding and pumping this weekend and supply issues have got better. No bottle success, but will try again soon

I also have the enzyme thing so will heat treat my milk tonight!

And @Superscientist

Is your sister really tiny now?

OP I appreciate you were told to use Nesquik but doesn't it have Soya lecithin in it?

@MissingTheMoonlight

No, not on the ingredients list, just maltodextrin. Sadly, it doesn't make it more palatable for my son! He just hates the bottle.

Currently pumping and scalding my milk (have high lipase levels) for the freezer. I live in hope!

Ah ok, it may just be the chocolate flavour one I use.
My son has cmpa (and other allergies) so you have all my sympathy. Good luck!