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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

What's the most ridiculous/crap advice you ever received about breastfeeding?

103 replies

Hardiharhar · 20/05/2021 00:38

Just curious, as I've heard the most stupid things lately. Shocked at how clueless GPs and health visitors can be about breastfeeding :O

OP posts:
SavannahLands · 20/05/2021 23:36

To make up cool boiled water with a teaspoon of sugar in it and offer it to DD1 if she didn’t settle between BFs. The only thing it did was to give her Colic!

Not to BF in public, not even inside the car, no respectable woman does that, and it’s indecent exposure!

That was from my DM, who had never BF in her life!

Frezia · 21/05/2021 07:43

I'm in the hospital trying to latch my brand new baby. I gave birth a couple of hours before, but the baby had his first feed with formula while I was knocked out for C section. He's struggling to latch. I ask the midwife for help, she tuts when she sees my inverted nipples, then half heartedly shows me how to latch him on. She watches us struggling for a few minutes then sticks a bottle of premade formula in my hand and says "OK he really needs to eat now".
Formula running down his face as I have no idea what I'm doing, tears running down mine, I thought: that's it then, we're finished before we even started. When she left I discovered I could hand express colostrum and the baby licked it off my finger. He was fine. He managed to latch on eventually and I breastfed until his third birthday.

Milcd · 21/05/2021 07:53

@MangoSeason I came across the exact same issue when I couldn't get my baby to latch (all the advice I had was it was because of my large boobs and flat nipples, not the fact they didn't check for tongue tie!). I decided to exclusively pump as I really wanted my baby to have breast milk. The number of times I have heard/read that pumping is not as efficient as a baby at getting milk out and I wouldn't be able to keep it up for long. Well, I'm 7 months down, have a freezer full of the stuff and still pump more than he could ever need, and I plan on keeping going for as long as possible, hopefully 2 years.
It's no wonder with attitudes healthcare professionals have towards exclusively pumping that they see formula as the only option if breastfeeding isn't possible.

Somethingsnappy · 21/05/2021 09:47

@Frezia

I'm in the hospital trying to latch my brand new baby. I gave birth a couple of hours before, but the baby had his first feed with formula while I was knocked out for C section. He's struggling to latch. I ask the midwife for help, she tuts when she sees my inverted nipples, then half heartedly shows me how to latch him on. She watches us struggling for a few minutes then sticks a bottle of premade formula in my hand and says "OK he really needs to eat now". Formula running down his face as I have no idea what I'm doing, tears running down mine, I thought: that's it then, we're finished before we even started. When she left I discovered I could hand express colostrum and the baby licked it off my finger. He was fine. He managed to latch on eventually and I breastfed until his third birthday.
This brought tears to my eyes. Well done!
Original poster
Hardiharhar · 21/05/2021 10:51

@Frezia I'm so glad things worked out for you but equally fuming at the lack of support you had with BF! That must have been a really tough time for you.

OP posts:
Wavescrashingonthebeach · 23/05/2021 21:24

That I would need nipple cream, nipple shields etc. Nope havent needed either.

"If you weren't breastfeeding he could stay overnight with me at my Mums" - baby's Dad about a couple days old baby Hmm oh and "When you stop breastfeeding at 6 months and go back to work i can have him all weekend every weekend".

Errr... nope nope and nope Grin

Milk is too thick so you should give your baby cooled boiled water for baby acne - a friend's well meaning mother. I just smiled and nodded. It cleared up on it's own within a week naturally.

Tbf i cant fault the MW's & HV's ive met so far but i know im amongst a lucky few..

Oh and the one thing no one ever told me about BF is that every night i would be lying in a puddle of my own milk! Keep towels and muslins handy at all times haha!

florafoxtrot · 26/05/2021 10:09

The bonding thing drives me mad! Of course babies bond with others even if they are EBF!

Some amazingly inspiring stories on this thread Smile

Same here @Wavescrashingonthebeach is to get some soft crop top style bras for wearing overnight with breast pads. I had no idea of the milk puddles!

Crikeycroc · 05/06/2021 07:40

Baby can’t latch because your nipples are too large and flat. Had anyone actually looked they would have found she was tongue tied.
From my midwife - It’s fine to top baby up with EBM or formula when they want to cluster feed. If I had done that I would have had low milk supply... cluster feeding happens for a reason!

alwayswrighty · 05/06/2021 07:58

I had my first over 20 years ago. I was rushed straight into labour suite when I went in because DS heart rate was dropping to 60 when I contracted and they thought a c section may be necessary. Anyway. Gave birth. They shuffle me off to a 'ward' which was empty bar me. Don't tell me where the toilet is, don't tell me where reception desk is, nothing. My son is in an incubator. They bring him to me saying he needs feeding and leave me alone with him. Bear in mind I've not had any babies before him. I'm 22, and I've literally no idea what to do. It takes another mother walking past my ward hearing my sons cries to get someone to help me and the nurse was so rude to me I cried. It took until a shift change for someone to show me how to feed, and in the end I bottle fed from 3 weeks because my milk didn't come in properly. Awful experience.

FlappityFlippers1 · 05/06/2021 08:02

@MangoSeason

That if you exclusively pump for whatever reason, your milk will dry up and you will fail. Not true and I am bewildered why midwives and LCs can be so militantly against EPing. Mine certainly were.

I had a non- latching baby and EPed for 12 months. Could have fed triplets with the amount of milk I produced.

Came here to say this! I’m exclusively pumping for my DS who is 10 weeks, I’ve had to buy a second freezer for all the milk I have
KinderWild · 05/06/2021 08:02

@Doona I had that advice (your nipples are inverted you will never breastfeed) from a midwife with my first. I tried, cried, tried a bit more, cried a lot and gave up.

Turns out I don't have inverted nipples and am now BF my second. But I still feel guilty about not BF my first.

goldopals · 05/06/2021 08:08

I was told you are selfish and silly for feeding past 12 months. Two and a half and still going strong

KinderWild · 05/06/2021 08:09

That I couldn't be discharged until I could demonstrate I could latch baby on, but that no one had time to help me learn how to latch baby on.

I only got help when I cried a lot, and started quoting nice guidelines. I was then put on a feeding plan when baby we 12 hours old as he has lost significant weight, except they managed to make this assessment without weighing him.

Veryverycalmnow · 05/06/2021 08:12

"You're not going to be able to give him what he needs, I'd just go with formula." Midwife when I was ill after giving birth. Ignored her and persevered- breastfed til he was nearly 3. I also got told to feed at exact times and wake him to feed him. I wish I'd just trusted my instincts on that one as he was much happier a few months later when I fed him on demand instead of when the clock said!

lemorella · 05/06/2021 08:31

That I should top up with formula so baby would sleep through.

Also I keep seeing these crap 'breastfeeding cookies' and other snacks being marketed at bf women as a way to make profit from something that is completely free for women to do. No amount of biscuits improves supply I don't get it 🤷🏼‍♀️

lavenderandwisteria · 05/06/2021 08:35

This is such an upsetting read.

Formula has such a hold on people’s mindsets.

HollysBush · 05/06/2021 08:45

Night after my first was born (I was 19, no internet) the midwife said just feed him again when he wakes up.
6 hours later he was still asleep (pethidine I think) and the next shift midwife told me I’d give him brain damage if I didn’t wake him at least every 4 hours and feed him! (He’s fine)

Babdoc · 05/06/2021 08:56

The district midwife who visited my home when DD1 was a week old, dehydrated and starving, told me that eating parsley would increase milk supply!
As a doctor, with breast hypoplasia, I fortunately knew she was talking nonsense, and started DD on formula. I was never able to produce more than one ounce of milk, so just expressed that and added it to DD’s bottle each feed.

m0therofdragons · 05/06/2021 08:58

People seemed annoyed I’d successfully Breast fed dd1 (she refused a bottle anyway) so when I had twins there seemed to be a smug chorus of “you definitely won’t be able to breast feed this time!” I stubbornly fed them for 6 months through mastitis and thrush in my breast (line razor blades inside my breast every feed).

I saw the breast feeding expert who told me to get comfy and in position with dtd1 then get someone to hand dtd2 to me and help me posit her... who did she think would do this, the fucking butler? She seemed totally baffled by the fact Dh worked.

m0therofdragons · 05/06/2021 08:59

Position.... stupid autocorrect. Should also say like not line. Off to drink coffee!

BeyondMyWits · 05/06/2021 09:14

My problem was a very zealous hv, you MUST breastfeed... presenting it as all or nothing. I have a heart condition and was finding some feeds... late evening... left me in tears of exhaustion on my knees.

A visiting hv said "you know you can give a bottle then if you like, breastmilk or formula, you don't have to suffer".

She quite literally saved my life as I had gone to a very, very dark place mentally...

I mixed fed for over a year for both my children. Both healthy happy kids (at uni now.)

1940s · 05/06/2021 09:15

That after 4 months breastmilk is akin to water and that's why the 4 month sleep regression happens. Best to give them a large 8oz bottle of formula, swaddle and leave them to cry it out.

LastNerve1 · 05/06/2021 10:42

@HollysBush I was told similar..she went for 5hrs. Looking back I feel so stupid for not waking my DD up. Really hope I haven't caused any lasting damage :(

Jmaho · 05/06/2021 11:01

I had my first child in 2009 following a 3 day induction. We were discharged from hospital 12 hours after his birth due to how busy they were. I was under strict instructions not to feed him more often than every 3 to 4 hours. He screamed practically none stop for the first 48 hours of him being home. Then a midwife came to rescue us and told us he was hungry and basically just feed as often as you like. He was a different baby after that.
The same midwife also told me that it is normal to feel pain in the early days even if latch is fine. You basically have a baby stuck to your nipples for hours on end it will hurt to start with.

SquigglePigs · 05/06/2021 12:48

A breast feeding specialist my midwife referred me to told me giving a baby formula was akin to feeding them a Spar ready meal! Also told me that if I couldn't find a feeding position that worked out and about then just stay home, My regular midwife was furious - she referred me to get help because she was worried about my mental health being stuck at home (health issues during and after pregnancy had restricted me a lot).