What else can I try? Really struggling.

[Stefka]

The last three feeds were awful (badly cracked nipples) - I cried all the way through them then cried in between them too because of the pain and the general feeling of total failure that I have right now over this whole BF thing. My LO will be one month on Sunday and I had sad I would give it till then but it looks like there is going to be no amazing break through for me by then. I so badly don't want to give up but I am not coping. Is there anything else I can try?

So far I have tried nipple shields, silverettes, lanisoh, the other one -kamikosan or whatever it is called, a herbal remedy and jelonet. At the moment I am back to using the jelonet as I find it the most soothing in between feeds. I have tried resting one side for a day to give it a break and expressing. I have also had six different people come out to watch me feed - a nct counselor, a midwife who used to be a breast feeding counselor, two breast feeding support workers from the dr's, my health visitor and a woman who runs the local bf support group. They were trying to get me into a specialist clinic but that feel through and I feel totally unhelpable.

Last night I couldn't even sleep because of the thought of the next feed when I woke up. Right now I hate bf even though I want to do it. It is making me completely miserable and I am at a loss as to what to do next.

Anyone got any other ideas for things I can try?

I went through this - a long time ago, it has to be said - so really feel for you. Have to say the only thing that worked was time - not much help I know, but things did get better quite quickly from about a month on. XX

Stefka, I really feel for you! It DOES get better. It's a long time since I did this too, but the scars on my right nipple are still there. Jelonet and the breastfeeding clinic at my local hospital were essential for me, and eventually DD1 and I finally got latching on sussed. It took us 11 weeks but I was so determined that the pain should be worth it that we persevered. I fed her for 2.5 years and went on without a break to DD2 for almost as long - feeding both for four months in the middle. We did get eventually that we could feed anywhere, climbing over stiles, on buses, answering the door.... and as an unexpected bonus DD2 fed like a dream from the word go. As a friend of mine said though, she hadn't realised she'd need the deep-breathing exercises for labour when feeding....

Hun, I feel for you and I;m rather nostalgic as I've not long finished feeding my little man (for just over 3 years - wahay!)and won't be doing it again . What I always found helped was to experess a little milk at the end of each feed, rub it on and let it dry. Breast milk is wonderful for sticky eye too. I wish you all the best and hang on in there! xxx

Enormous amounts of sympathy. And well done for getting this far. At four months I was just as you describe. Utterly wretched, feeling like a failure, and in SO MUCH PAIN. Am sure you have been given every option available (for us it was Lansinoh and a latch adjustment that worked) so will not add to the advice. Instead will shake my pompoms in the style of an American cheerleader - you CAN do it. It WILL get better. It WILL be worth it. You are a BRILLIANT MUM for getting this far.

Hi, I live in France and used something called Moxa. It is homeopathic, and I only tried it as the French are so incredibly medical in their appraoch I couldn't believe they were suggesting a homeopathic remedy in the hospital. It is basically a stick of herbs, like a cigar, that you light and circle the glowing end round your nipple, near but obviously not touching your nipple! It really worked for me when my nipples were bleeding and I was dreading every feed, it also was quite meditative as you do it for 5 mins before and after each feed, and helped calm me down and steel myself for the process! Good luck . .

hi, there
how I wish I'd known of mumsnet when my babes were small! I do have a marvellous tip that saved me from giving up on breastfeeding. Now this is going to sound very peculiar, but I swear it will help. The difficulty is getting your nipples to heal between feeds. They need air circulation to allow that to happen but unless you go topless 24 hrs a day, you're stuffed. And just going without a bra is no good because fabric rubbing against them is agony. Anyway....... cutting to the chase, here what someone shared with me, and it worked a treat. You need to go to Boots and buy a box of the breast milk 'collector' things (so sorry can't remember the proper name). Note, I'm NOT talking about nipple shields. The things you need are clear (hard plastic) sort of dome shaped objects (they also look a bit like a miniature toilet seat...). Their primary purpose is to collect breastmilk if you leak a lot, and they fit between you nipple and your bra. It doesn't touch your nipple at all, so is incredibly comfortable - there is a pocket of air all round your nipple, plus you have the comfort of knowing that you have plastic armour if you do bash your boobs into anything! You wear it night and day under your bra. I know it sounds absolutely crazy, but within a day, my nipples were beginning to heal - and within a week, I was sorted. I've passed this tip onto friends and all have given big thumbs up.

Good luck - let us know how you get on.

Forgot to say, the point of Moxa is that it cauterises the cracks, so it is actually doing something not just making you feel like an ancient wisewoman! I also tried the plastic nipple shells and they did help, they keep the whole area moist which seems to help, and protect you when I couldn't stand to have my nipple touch anything, a padded sheild or bra or anything at all.

I know you don't want to give up but please, please don't beat yourself up about stopping. I had an incredibly sore left nipple - like you in tears, dreaded using it tried everything and in the end gave up and it was such a relief. To be honest even though people said it would get better in three or four days, that was just way way to long when you're feeding every 3 hours or whatever. I did 3 months breastfeeding with my first (hurt like hell), 9 weeks with my second (hurt even more) and the third was much easier all round for some reason. But I introduced a bottle very early on to take some of the nipple strain. So go for it girl - make your life easier. Breastfeeding really isn't the be all end all - honest.

Have you tried vaseline?
Hope things are improving for you.

Hi Stefka,

Are u in touch with your local La Leche League Leader?? If not do, as they are a valuable support. I used Lasinoh - bought over the counter from Boots. also i bought 'LilyPads' online - they are like a silicone cap that seals your nipple and stops milk leaking meaning your nipples are not wet all the time. Other than that i gritted my teeth and curled my toes up and pushed through the pain -
it was worth it! :-)

Best of Luck

Hi Stefka, I had 6 weeks of agony with my DD, the only thing that really helped my badly cracked nipple was to feed her in a different position (Rugby ball style) as it changed where the pressure was. It did get better but the nipple never truly healed until I stopped breastfeeding. Also expressing and giving my nipples a rest helped a lot.

If it is any consolation I am currently breastfeeding my 4 week old DS and it is so so much easier second time around, a bit painful the first 10 days but is now a breeze.

Best of luck and you have done so well to get to this stage.

I really struggled for 4 weeks with my second baby, but I knew we'd get there in the end.....cabbage leaves really helped, put savoy cabbage leaves in fridge then put 1 leaf in each cup after a feed. Lansinoh helped too. Most peopple said to give up but once feeding is established it's so much easier!!!

Hi there Stefka, loads of brilliant ideas here: I fed all four of my babes, now late teens/in their twenties and I echo loads of things that everyone is saying; the keeping your nipples dry especially.
I was in constant agony for months with my first DD and she was also a winter baby so getting the air to your nipples and taking your clothes off to keep the them dry wasn't exactly easy, but it did do the trick.
Hanging each breast in turn over a light bulb was REALLY good. You need the non-energy-saving older ones, as the new types are such low wattage that they don't give out any warmth. I used my bedside light, for about 1 minute at a time, about 3 to 4 inches away from the bulb. The distance varies depending on how hot the bulb is, ie, how high the wattage is. Obviously you need to take care not to touch the light or you would hurt or burn yourself! This helped dry them without being too harsh, and the warmth was very soothing as well.
Wearing no jim-jams top or nightie at night also helped, and I just had a very soft towel underneath me in case of drips/leaks.

I stuck it out and got it sorted by 5-6 moths, which sounds ages but it was easing all the time. The pay-off was just how amazingly easy it became from 6 - 12 months and beyond. The whole experience of the early difficult months made me want to help other mums with probs so I trained to be an NCT Breastfeeding Cousellor.
When my DDs 2+3 and my DS came along, everything was like falling off a log by comparison because the good old nipples had already been toughened up. So hang on in there, and like almost everyone is saying, it will get better.
You are a star already, Stefka, for wanting to give your babe the best you can, and by feeding him yourself so far, he's had the best start he could have .

At the moment I am still using the jelonet and the lansinoh combination. My right side which has never been as painful has had some improvement. My left side still hurts so I am just taking things a feed at a time. My mum hs been here to help this week which has taken some of the pressure of in general. I keep giving myself goals - to get to the end of the week etc. My current goal is to make to six weeks which will be next Sunday and to see how I am then.

So sorry so hear you're having difficulty - reminded me of my first few weeks b/f.....I can remember the sensation that sent me almost through the ceiling sobbing when dd latched on

• dd was 5lb14 and found it hard to latch on before sliding off
• I had had two benign breast lumps remove the year before which meant that I had reduced sensation on both breasts....so when I COULD feed the pain, I knew it was bad!!!!

-paracetamol 15 mins before feeding to minimise the pain / expressing b/m & rubbing it into sore areas / wandering round topless -xpressing after each feed to give to dd by bottle (also meant that I could xpress on the most painful side)

• feeding lying down as dd didn't slide off the n so much

It DOES get easier (honest) and I b/f until dd was 17 mths. Hope it gets easier for you soon....you've got this far!

Don't know if you are still going with the feedling but I found that once things have got sore, even if you then get it right it does take a week or two for things to heal. You need the bottom lip to be 'flanged' I used to take my son off 2 or 3 times at the start of some feeds to make sure we got it right. Feed around the breast to try to avoid pressure on the really sore bits while they heal. I found underarm feeding helped and my partner had to make an emergency trip to born to buy a poppolini breastfeeding cushion. They are great, full of beans and really long so you can feed the baby underarm with it fully supported. Had the most horrible time with DS one, but it all turned out well in the end and was sad to give up at 8 months. But if you have given up don't feel guilty think you can be pretty sure you gave it your best shot! Hope things are better either way

two things I tried and it was ten years ago ! were someone said to put some breast milk on the wound after you feed - it maybe has healing powers. Also to make milk supply flow (but this is maybe not your problem), I made fennel tea - a herbal tea. Good luck though. It is great and convenient once you get it working. Also the body is very clever once breast feeding is established you can do either two feeds a day or even later on one feed a day and the body still works it all out ! (Obviously then you supplement with juice of milk etc when they are older is what I am talking about !)

You poor thing, I just wanted to say I know how you feel, I would cry at the thought of a feed with my ds, and it made me so tense. You will get great advice on here from people who know what they are talking about. But I found expressing for a few days to let things heal a great idea, and don't let your nipples dry out as it just makes the scabs crack again.Big hugs

Just thought i'd give my two cents worth. I had great problems with latching - in that it hurt really badly when DS latched. He was a strange baby and would only feed on his right side and so feeding from the right breast was always rugby ball/under arm style. I found at the start that when my nipples were painful that the right side was much less so and i have been since told by my local breast feeding councilor that it is because you can't make so many mistakes in latching this way (such as pulling too close, aiming the baby on to the breast badly etc.). I usually had to re-latch two+ times if it got uncomfortable but i did notice an improvement after the six week growth spurt. A cream i haven't heard you mention is kalimosan - you have to wipe it off before you feed but i noticed that it had some sort of painkilling action and left them feeling nicely numb (in a good way).

I know it is hard now but it does get better - i finally finished feeding two months ago after a 23month stint so you will get the hang of it. Remember you are both learning at how to do this - it is not some magic art that you instinctively know how to do.

I'm pretty sure pigletsmum means Kamillosan (I used it too) which is a chamomile ointment. I found it numbed the pain much better than Lansinoh. It smells a bit herbal, but is effective.

I also tried savoy cabbage leaves from the fridge, when things got bad. The first time i put one in my bra, i nearly cried from the cooling relief!

Hang in there, it does get better, but don't feel guilty if you need to stop.

I found the Kellysmom site really helpful as they have videos and diagrams of good and bad latches.

I thought I had thrush first time round and stopped at 9 wks, but when the pain stated the 2nd time, I went to a really good support group and we identified ithe problem as a shallow latch. This means the top of the nipple is rubbed which triggers the nerve (I got pains down my legs from this as well as in the breast).

It got better as Phoebe has got bigger - despite loathing the bf experience myself, Phoebe loves it and really dislikes formula, so I didn't have much choice!

I still have sore nipples from this and I have to be a total queen about positioning otherwise they get damaged even more BUT I've managed to stick it out for 4 mths now.

I'd say try and find a good support group or a mentor to back you up when it gets really bad and take it one feed at a time. I must admit that Phoebe has had the occasional bottle when it's all been too much for me and it's not affected her breastfeeding at all.

Thanks I have been reading the site today - it's really good.

Well done to you for getting to four months despite the probs. I hope I can do the same.

Stefka - I had terrible problems with a cracked nip 2nd time round. Also had thrush which didn't help. I took grapefruit seed extract for that and used kamillosan

I would recommend taking painkillers in the short term
I also kept relatching the LO if I felt she wasn't on right

Have you read the stuff on kellymom about wet healing?

I am using jelonet at the moment - and lanisoh. It helps and means I can get dressed which is nice. I got fed up of having my boobs out all the time. I had thrush too - it was awful. It has thankfully cleared up now.

Hi Stefka

Glad you're coping much better. With my first, I was advised to begin applying Lansinoh about four weeks before the baby was due, to give the nips some elasticity. It worked like a dream and I breastfed for 17 months. The first four weeks were the hardest and I almost gave up everyday, but once we passed that goalpost, it was fantastic.
Now I'm not into plugging stuff, but I was helped by a midwife/maternity nurse called Jacqui Nancey who now does newborn parenting classes in London. She helped me with the breastfeeding and other stuff like sleep, food, etc. She's very gentle and has so many tricks up her sleeve that, almost overnight, I went from having sleepless nights, panic attacks and pureed nipples to breezing through dd's first few years.

Very, very best of luck.