For everyone that decided not to/wasn't able to Breastfeed

[VictorianSqualor]

I just wanted to say..
To those of you who tried- well done.
To those of you who didn't recieve the support you deserved -sorry.
And to those of you wo have felt guilty ever since because of some generally awful attitudes- Please don't.
To those of you who decided against it- I hope it was because you made an informed decision and not through lack of support available and hope any threads you read about breastfeeding do not make you feel bad either, you did what you decided was best and have nothing to feel bad about.

It seems that just lately there has been an awful lot of threads judging people who do/don't bf/ff and I hope that as mothers we can unite in wanting the best for our children and having all the information to hand so we can make an informed decision.

I was unable to bf DD, after being born 8wks prem, and my milk practically not coming in, I gave up, and I wished I hadn't.
Maybe if I had had more support with trying to express whilst she was in SCBU I would have been more successful, I don't know.
Thankfully with DS I had a wonderful midwife who helped me to latch on after my first night of despair, and have since learnt not to blame myself for not succeeding with dd.

I don't think anyone else should either.

I didn't breast feed, it didn't used to bother me, but sometimes I wish I could have tried.
I had a very traumatic birth and to be honest I don't really think I would have recieved the help and support in hospital to breast feed anyway, they took ds away from me for his feeds on his first night as I was too weak. The hospital I stayed were very unsupportive in every aspect, my sheets were still stained in blood from my c section 4 days after I had ds so I doubt they would worry about breast feeding.

Have just read 1 post on another thread which made me want to scream and now this one has made me well-up.

Why do people feel they can judge others? Gosh they must be so perfect in everything they do!

Thank you VictorianSqualor

Could have done without the word "militant" being used though.

We are all being understanding and supportive on this thread, correct?
No one refers to militant ff I find miltant bf insulting.
Anyway, let's return to reason. We are all just doing our best motherhood can be wonderful. I can be isolatng and depressing. Let's aLL try to make the path a bit easier for each other eh?

Wasn't the word 'militant' used in reference to the people who are talking utter tosh on the other thread?? Claiming people are never unable to breastfeed??

Did anyone actually say that-i didn't read that one (but then I didn't read them all)
and i meant it can't be isolating and dpressing, not i can be (although I am sure some would agree with first version)

i am referring to another post and its unsupportive stance, the militant attitude displayed there. i am supporting this thread

what a lovley thread!

i did with DD2.

not sure about DC3.

i'll be on my own in a rural area with all three of them - 5, 2.5 and the newborn. can't really just lie in bed and feed, feed, feed when i have the two other ones to look after and the house to clean and food to prepare.

i don't have any family around, friends all over the place and have had PND twice.

so the verdict is still out.

might try it, might not. i'll wait and see how i feel when it's born.

but no matter what, can't say i'll feel guilty either way.

i have enough in life to feel guilty about.

Nice thread, VicSqual.

I didn't BF for very long, for various reasons, but I am totally pro BF-ing mums (lovely to see) whilealso being pro 'whatever is best for the new mum / baby / family unit as a whole'. We don't have to pitch ourselves agaionst each 'FF versus BF' etc. It's sad and unnecessary. Most of us do our best, after all.

vs,fab post,well done!
i choose not to bf my ds1 and ds2 and feel no guilt whatsoever,i dont care what anyone says!!

What A great thread!

i'm leaning towards chosing not to with this one, and like you, smee, i don't feel guilty.

i don't have any support, it's not possible to enlist and i have other children to look after and a house to keep up on my own.

cannot afford cleaners or hired help.

seems like a logical decision for us as a family.

lovely op

this thread rocks
ssssshhhhh before all the gumpers arrive and upset us all

Smee - why did you choose not to? Seems a shame, if the milk is there. Just interested in your reasons?

fiofio - the cool love support you vibe is on this thread-what other thread?

I so desperately wanted to.

have pretty much chosen not to for longer than the time DH will have off from work with this one - a fortnight - because of not having time needed to devote to it to get it established properly here.

EIS, see how it goes. You know where you can come for support in the virtual sense, you know more about it all having fed DD2 for a while.

Make no hard and fast rules, just go with the flow - I know you do!

VS, lovely OP.

a shame??! err didnt see it as a shame atall actually!
i choose not to because of personal reasons i found the idea of bfing somehow repulsive to me,it sounds odd and ive explained,or tried to,on threads before that bf just feels wrong to me,i cant change that about myself and dont think i would want to,thats just me!
its ridiculous to feel like that as bfing is obviously the most natural thing to a mother which is why its hard to explain my feelings toward it. BUT i have no guilt whatsoever and have 2 perfectly healthy sons!

oh, im planning on it for hte first couple of weeks, hunker. but i don't like a messy house - it makes me very anxious, and i really will be entirely on my own with DD1 on summer break.

so realistically i'm thinking to do it for a fortnight and then ff once DH heads back to work.

Who knows, EIS, you might have a natural bfer in there (congrats, btw - not sure if I said before!) - one who's happy in a sling while you get on with things. You've done it before when you thought you couldn't - so, like I say, make no decisions till you're there.

smeeinachristmastreeinnit -your private personal choice ps so many vowels in one name LOL