Slow weight gain - I just want a bit of support, I know ds is okay but HVs have an uncanny ability to make you paranoid, don't they?

[PickledOnionMossysterMunch]

Ds' weight gain has always been very slow (50th centile @ birth, now 0.4th). My HV has always been very good about it, as I bf on demand, ds always healthy, meeting developmental milestones on time / early etc.) and my dh is very petite too.

Ds has just had an horrendous tummy bug, d&v (could not keep anything down for two days, then couldn't keep anything in for a further two), it was awful.

Took him to get weighed this week (been 4 weeks) and he's only put on 3oz, I put it down to him probably having lost a lot of weight during the illness. So he had probably put on more, then lost it all again.

However, it was a different HV this week.

She really put the wind up me tbh. First thing she asked me though was "how much milk is he getting" to which I replied honestly that I didn't know (okay, there is big thing on my chart saying "breast from birth" so she should have noticed and there's me with big LLL tote bag too) and she said, "oh he's breastfed is he" like it was something weirdy.

Then she asked what he was eating, now I am doing BLW and he's not showing much interest in solids, but I didn't want to say this to that woman as I thought she might actually report me to social services or something.

So I said I just gave him what we were having, pureed. She said I should give him creamy stuff, stuff with cows' milk in it as I couldn't give him cows' milk as a drink yet, lots of unsalted butter, that sort of thing.

She said they might need to keep an eye on him.

My HV has always been fine with his slow weight gain, and the mw and bfc at the bf support group I attend reckon he's just catching down and is meant to be small.

And I always felt okay until this particular HV made me feel paranoid today...

Can people just reassure me... he is going to be fine isn't he? I am doing this okay aren't I? I bf on demand which tends to be little and often rather than huge feeds less regularly. He has a bit of solid food now and again but isn't that into it. Still feeds often in the night (co-sleeping). Lots of wet nappies...

He doesn't have something wrong with him.... does he?????

Am normally Mossy btw just haven't changed back after Hallowe'en yet!

Ds is six and a half months btw.

Please wise MNers tell me there isn't anything wrong with him and if I am genuinely worried the best thing to do is just try and squeeze in another bf somewhere?

nope he's fine, if the little tyke would ever sleep mossy he'd be 5 stone...

Look today I went the the HV to weigh day as well in 2 mths Finn has dropped from 75th to 25th.

She said oh he is breastfed isn;t he, I said yep, she said oh that's ok then at 6 mths ish they tend to level down a bit sometimes compared to FF babies...
And if you see today PN march thread and see how much Finn eats...
well...

And then back to dd, tiny but perfect and she has never emt one developmental milestone in babyhood HA but she is knocking the socks off everyone in reception

Slow burners mossy these little ones

don't let her get to you, Mossy. You're doing a fab job - I've always been well impressed with the way you stuck with breastfeeding through a difficult first couple of months. Of course his tummy bug will have affected his weight gain - go with your initial instinct, not her first impressions. The other HV has known you both for far longer, and she isn't worried. Keep that in mind.

Piffle thank you; you've made me feel much better.

You see in my head I do know he's okay, and he doesn't ever sleep for very long really, and he has been ill... but then somewhere in your gut these ill-trained HVs really get to you, you know?

I'm not going to start shovelling cows' milk based products into him out of some kind of paranoia. I will just see if I can squeeze in another bf somewhere, he gets so distracted these days...

Thank you again x

X posts, thank you too lazyemma

Don't worry
It's not a race to get the heaviest child
Ignore the HV
You don't have to go for weigh-ins you know

Mine hasn't been weighed since the 8 week check

He's fine and he is eating THE BEST POSSIBLE FOOD IN THE WORLD (particularly after having a stomach bug).

OK??

TheBlonde you know, I always tell myself I'm going to stop going... but then I start to think, "ooh he's looking very little atm, I should take him to be weighed in case there's something wrong" and then he's never put on much and then I get paranoid... and normally nice HV puts me straight... but today...

You're right, I ought to stop going.

Thanks moondog!!

Tell me where you are.
I will come and administer swift kick up the jaCKSEY.

eRR..TO HER, NOT YOU.

Heehee, she is in St Helens. Didn't get her name. Might actually ring my HV when she is back in and ask for her name.... yes come and kick her!!!

pwhredefteb

my little man skated on that 0.4th, from 50th at birth. Six months later - i hope the little lump learns to walk soon - cos my arms are falling off from carrying him.

Mossy, I remember with my first being absolutely paranoid about how ,much he weighed. Luckily my health visitor at the time was fine, just like your proper one is.

Look, not all babies are lardy lumps, SOMEONE has to be petite or these blooming charts would be meaningless.
I know people like to go on about how hefty their babies are, it's a bit annoying, but I reckon it simply makes them feel a bit more confident, you know it's easier to know if your baby is eating enough if they are fat

Dd3 is enormous, why? I don't know. where the genes come from? I don't know, dp and I are small.

Ronnie is a skinny frog, no spare fat on him atall. He snack feeds most of the time, isn't fond of most 'solids' and rarely sleeps in the day, he's a fidgit bum.
MOre later

Mossy, I could have written your post. DS is a tichy one too, fully breastfed, distractable during feeding, a Power napper (20 mins max sleeps during the day), but my HV is fine about his slow weight gain.

Nowt wrong with little babies - someone has to be at the bottom end of the NORMAL weight range.

Thank you everyone - it's horrible isn't it? You know with your head that your instinct is right and nothing is wrong, you know you're bfing okay, you know some babies take longer to adapt to solids, you know your baby has been ill... but some jumped up so called health care professional still has the ability to give you a slightly sick feeling in your gut that you're doing something wrong or that there is something wrong with your baby.

I'm thinking about not getting him weighed any more... if he's still in 3-6 month clothes when he's one then I'll know there's a problem...

and the bonus, you save shedloads on clothes as you get LOADS more wear out of it.
DD has the BEST gear always as she stays in it for years on end.

Mossy, I would just like to add my story, although there are some differences (in case it helps reassure you)

DD3 - always small. On the 3rd line up whichever that is (5th?)
ff from 3m
Nasty stomach bug at 6 1/2m lasted 2 weeks on and off.
Over a 4 week period between weighings she lost 10% of her body weight. I was expecting her to be static as she was well and presumably gaining weight for the 1st 2 weeks - I personally was shocked and upset that she had actually lost - and lost soo much.

2 weeks later she was jumping up the lines and was back on 'her line' within about 6-8wks (although we paused weaning for a couple of weeks to get milk calories in).
Apparently when you are dehydrated you will weigh less than you would if you weren't dehydrated IYSWIM. I expeect that if you were to get him weighed again in a month (not suggesting you should necessarily) he would be heading back on track as he will be better dehydrated and his body will know he needs to catch up.

Mossy, you don't really need us to tell you, do you?

You are right, HV is wrong. He's been ill, he'll have lost weight, so the fact that he is 3oz heavier than his previous weigh shows he's fine.

If you are worried, squeeze in another BF.

leave those scales alone, woman
sorry you met crappy hv this time round, there's always one, ignore ignore ignore
btw, are you free this sat? i'm going over to da wirral and could meet up in lpool if you are around?

duh
sun not sat

I don't think I'm doing owt on Sunday no! Do you know the Egg Café on Newington Street? It is up a few flights of stairs but with a sling it is easily do-able...

Send me an email / FB me!

Mossy, Hi!

I understand where you are at, I think, and am apparently following the trail you've blazed...dd has now dropped off the bottom of the chart but no-one can give me any useful reason as to why she's slow to gain. Paediatrician conclusion was "well baby" Every time she cries in front of someone (like the lactation specialist at baby cafe today) I think that they are privately thinking "poor little scrap, she's clearly crying from starvation, she's so scrawny, besides, look at her mother with those pitifully small boobs, no wonder...etc"

I bought my own set of baby weighing scales to avoid the HV trauma, but am now horrified to see that her weight doesn't appear to have increased AT ALL for 3 weeks. Either that or they are duff scales. So I would offer to bring them over to St.Helens except that they might very well freak you out too. (BTW I'm sure 3 of my emails must be buried in your spam folder, sniff)

I very nearly posted an anxious thread like yours a couple of days ago, too. To the effect of - am I deluding myself with false reassurances, and could I be in denial of a serious problem?

Except that I can't imagine what might actually be wrong with her because she's so truly scrumptious.

And short of continuing what I'm doing, feeding, co-sleeping, slinging yada yada... What else can I do!!!

Please try not to stress - I am sure he is FINE, and gorgeous, and the very fact that he was so poorly, but didn't lose weight - he GAINED some, suggests to me that you are doing well, really really well.

Confidence is a fragile thing, especially when you don't have the nice, reliable reassurance of a comfortably positioned line on a little chart. Trying to maintain a tenuous grip on that confidence in the face of a "professional" who is eroding it is nigh on impossible. I hate that I can be so "Bah humbug" one day, and so "help help it's all going wrong" the next.

Poo to anxiety-inducing HVs, I say!

When are we going to set up another meeting attempt? I would CAT you if I knew what that meant.