Slow weight gain - I just want a bit of support, I know ds is okay but HVs have an uncanny ability to make you paranoid, don't they?

[PickledOnionMossysterMunch]

Ds' weight gain has always been very slow (50th centile @ birth, now 0.4th). My HV has always been very good about it, as I bf on demand, ds always healthy, meeting developmental milestones on time / early etc.) and my dh is very petite too.

Ds has just had an horrendous tummy bug, d&v (could not keep anything down for two days, then couldn't keep anything in for a further two), it was awful.

Took him to get weighed this week (been 4 weeks) and he's only put on 3oz, I put it down to him probably having lost a lot of weight during the illness. So he had probably put on more, then lost it all again.

However, it was a different HV this week.

She really put the wind up me tbh. First thing she asked me though was "how much milk is he getting" to which I replied honestly that I didn't know (okay, there is big thing on my chart saying "breast from birth" so she should have noticed and there's me with big LLL tote bag too) and she said, "oh he's breastfed is he" like it was something weirdy.

Then she asked what he was eating, now I am doing BLW and he's not showing much interest in solids, but I didn't want to say this to that woman as I thought she might actually report me to social services or something.

So I said I just gave him what we were having, pureed. She said I should give him creamy stuff, stuff with cows' milk in it as I couldn't give him cows' milk as a drink yet, lots of unsalted butter, that sort of thing.

She said they might need to keep an eye on him.

My HV has always been fine with his slow weight gain, and the mw and bfc at the bf support group I attend reckon he's just catching down and is meant to be small.

And I always felt okay until this particular HV made me feel paranoid today...

Can people just reassure me... he is going to be fine isn't he? I am doing this okay aren't I? I bf on demand which tends to be little and often rather than huge feeds less regularly. He has a bit of solid food now and again but isn't that into it. Still feeds often in the night (co-sleeping). Lots of wet nappies...

He doesn't have something wrong with him.... does he?????

VLC have you emailed my yahoo address too? msruthmoss @ yahoo . co . uk

Are you on Facebook? I am Ruth Moss (Manchester Network) and my picture is of me with a little baby on my back, you could message me there I suppose?

Will have to come back to this in a mo, ds having a wail......

Mossy, I think we have the same baby and same (normal) HV!
From 50 line at birth DS (6 months) is now hovering around the 2 line (can't remember if he's above or below ). He's still bf, still at least 6 feeds a day, and doing BLW, and he isn't eating very much!
My HV, although she has quite old fashioned ideas, is usually very reassuring, along the lines of "look at him, he's obviously healthy", and one thing she has mentioned is that as long as they are growing in length then they are probably fine.

It's Katy44 from the April thread BTW!

Oh hello! I came across an ivykaty44 the other day and thought she was you but she wasn't. Are you on Facebook btw?

We should probably all set up a "slow weight gain support thread" or something like that!!

VLC, "am I deluding myself with false reassurances, and could I be in denial of a serious problem?" yes that's exactly how I feel sometimes. But like you I genuinely cannot see what the problem could be. He is a happy, healthy (apart from last week) little soul and is certainly noisy enough ... as Piffle says, I think if he actually slept during the day rather than just catnapping, I think he wouldn't use quite so much energy!

Yes, I feel a lot happier after everyone's reassurances. SMS thanks for sharing too, and Evenhope you know I know I shouldn't need to be told but sometimes I do!

I'm a HV too and from what you've posted your DS sounds absolutely fine and NORMAL. He had a stomach bug so his weight gain hasn't been usual this time - that's it - end of story. Ignore this HV - she's got the advice wrong.

I used BLW too and it's great - your DS will eat what he wants and when he wants to - he's quite happy and healthy on the 0.4th centile and that's probably where he's meant to be. Listen to your usual HV as she sounds great.

Just as an extra bit of info -the latest research regarding weighing babies says we weigh them far too much. The last recommendation I saw said we should weigh babies about 6 times in the first year - the report reckons that if we did this there would be less Mums left feeling worried and anxious for no good reason.

Thanks for your opinion closetpagan.
Do you agree that as long as they're growing in length they're almost definitely fine? Just that I'd never heard of this before.

Sorry Mossy, I completely ignored your post! I'm not on facebook, am trying to avoid anything that will sucker me in as much as MN!!

Yep - all the calories going into the length - some babies will grow into tall and skinny people .

I just think that too much emphasis is placed on weight alone with no appreciation that this is not the only measurement for assessment.

Advice like the OPs temporary HV gave is, sadly, too often heard from HVs who never (and I do mean never) look at the baby and the bigger picture before leaping in with "add cream to the food" [cross]

Why didn't she ask "has he been unwell"?, "are you happy with his growth"?, "do you think there is anything to worry about"?
The answers would have told this HV that this is a healthy baby with a healthy weight who's had a stomach bug affecting the latest measurement.

Anyway -(jumps off soapbox) - must go and get DS ready for school.

thanks
well my Ds's feet are currently crammed into his 6-9 sleepsuits so i don't think there's a problem
That could be me tumble drying too hot though

Mossy - great idea about the regular low weight gain thread ...I think we should have our own club. Any ideas for a name?

And does anyone have any links to useful documents?

1. only weighing every few months and
2. the length thing?

Baby carrot is definitely growing like a string bean, and I'd love to have something to wave at annoyingly uninformed HVs if I ever need to see one again.

Mossy, please bear in mind if you are going to have him 'measured' that length assessment on babies is so horribly aproximate as to mean almost nothing. it it very difficult, infact IMPOSSIBLE to stretch a baby out properly to get a good measurement, they just won't stay still enough. My babies' length measurements are absolutely farcical!!! Knocking them out would be the only way to do it .
If they move their feet up by just a cm then they can go down a whole from say 75th to 50th on the chart.
Personally I would just go with how you feel he is doing.

If he appears healthy then leave it

Yep - would go along with that. Measuring length is notoriously inaccurate - all you can really do is get an estimated length at this age.

Right, slow weight gain support thread it is. What about "from small acorns - slow weight gain support thread" or something like that?

Everybody, thanks for your advice and support. You know I'm going to stop going to get him weighed unless I actually think there's something genuinely wrong with him. He's just clearly meant to be a wee titch of a man.

Quite right about length - it's not done in the UK any more and for good reasons!

Really??? My HV seems to think it's the main indicator of health! Even though he's gone down the weight charts he's stayed almost on the 50 line for length.

If he was hungry, he would eat more solid food to make up for it. Nil panico.

SharpMolarBear - your HV is very out of step with what's considered to be good practice today, then. You can check this by googling Coventry Consensus which is more or less what informs growth monitoring in the UK these days (though babies are still weighed far too often that necessary). It describes how length monitoring can be done accurately with the proper training, but that most HCPs don't do it accurately, and the clinical justifications for doing it routinely don't exist (though a few babies with particular health or developmental concerns may need it - it's up to the paed to decide).

Your baby is no doubt fine, but his length has got no real input into that assessment!

Right, if I start a slow weigh-gain support thread called "mighty oaks from little acorns grow" do those of us who have slow gaining babies think it would be worthwhile? We could generally tell each other that it's okay, to ignore - in the main - the HVs and that our babies are fine and if anything we just need to bf more (if bfing; if ffing just to give more milk) and follow our instincts...

I know I would find such a thread useful but would anyone else do we think??

I do think it would be useful but is there a danger that someone whose baby's growth genuinely is cause for concern could read it and be falsely reassured?

I'd love to have that thread Mossy. I do understand your concerns Molarbear, and think that if Tiktok and the gurus drop by to help us with their expertise, and we remain cognisant of the key pointers to look out for (wet nappies, developmental milestones being met, general health of the baby etc) we'll be at least as informed as any other thread, and can always err on the side of caution. I don't think any of us would presume to give medical advice, just support and encouragement.

I always feel reassured when other Mums tell me about their tiny babies that have thrived, it helps me stay calm and stop freaking out when I look at my 3 month old who is still the weight of a newborn...sigh...

Here is support thread I hope I've phrased it well, taking your concerns into account Sharpmolarbear.