Questions if you've breastfed for 1 year+

[Aria2015]

I breastfed my first until he was a year old. I was back at work and mainly pumping and he basically gave me up in favour of the bottle so I reluctantly stopped breastfeeding and pumping (hate pumping so bad!).

My second is now 4 months and EBF. I'm hoping that I can feed her beyond a year - I'd like to feed her until she gives me up (hopefully she has more staying power than her brother!).

I'm just wondering what breastfeeding past a year looks like? She'll be eating 3 meals a day by then and able to drink water and cows milk, so how often would she potentially breastfeed for? I'm assuming I can almost dictate that? Eg morning feed and bedtime feed.

Also, she doesn't take a bottle. If I'm feeding her morning and before bed, will I be restricted to never being able to be away from her for bedtimes? Or can she skip a feed by that age? Or have cows milk or expressed milk in a sippy cup?

If I'm down to feeding just twice a day, do I need to pump if I miss a feed? Or would my body be making a smaller amount of milk and so that's not needed?

Sorry! That's a lot of questions! Thanks in advance for any answers!

I fed first to two years and currently feeding second at 16 months, plan to feed for two years. I just feed on demand although both have gone to nursery so reverse cycle (feed a lot at night). I do need to pump sometimes like over Xmas when dsnwasnt at nursery he fed off me during the day so when he went back I needed to pump a bit as he obviously wasnt taking the daytime feeds. I've tried to get him to not feed to sleep so we aren't doing bed time feeds although bed time feeds were the last to go with DD, but dh could still put her to bed as he recognised his routine was just different. Not feeding to sleep has made no impact on da being up all night though

I'm coming up to 2 years and feed morning (before work) and evening (before bed) and it seems to be working absolutely fine. I went down to this routine at 1 when she started nursery / I went back to work. I've skipped the evening feed a couple of times and it doesn't seem to have made a difference to my supply, although I'm not sure how much actual milk I'm producing and how much it's comfort feeding. DD is on three meals/two snacks roughly and she drinks cows milk/water from a cup. She never used a bottle though so I didn't have to wean her off that. I'm really glad to have continued because I love the quiet time we have together when feeding, and it's really no impact on my lifestyle as I wouldn't routinely be staying out late with a toddler at home regardless of COVID so I don't feel like it stops me from doing things. The only issue now is I'm pregnant again and trying to decide if I can face tandem feeding!

Mine is 18 months. He always feeds first thing and at bedtime. At nursery, he is fine without any other milk during the day. At home, he sometimes has an extra feed or two during the day.

Because of lockdown and wfh, I haven't had to try getting my husband to put him to bed. I suspect it will be a bit tricky and result in some tears.

I recommend night weaning well in advance of starting nursery to avoid reverse cycling and then being fairly strict about not feeding at night.

In retrospect, I slightly wish I had got my husband to do some bedtimes with him earlier on but hey

My boy has agreed when he first wakes up then if it's a weekend or day he isn't at nursery he will just have it ad hoc all throughout the day even if he's had other things to drink and eat. He has a feed when be comes home from nursery then his big feed before bed. Plus numerous night wakings....

So... A lot!!

Still going past two years. First baby self-weaned at 16 months, 2nd doesn’t seem to want to stop.
It’s morning and evening only, unless he is ill, hurt or gets a scare. I don’t feed outside home and on the rare occasions he’s asked he accepts a no. If he doesn’t see me he doesn’t need milk and goes to bed every other day without it as I don’t put him to sleep then. It’s been more than a year since I’ve had that feeling of milk building up. I don’t think you’d need to pump when not feeding.
To be honest I only feed him in the morning because it’s cold and I get more time in bed. If I distracted him with food or a toy immediately after getting up it would be easy to stop.

I fed all three dc until they were pretty much 2. Once they were one and I was working (as a childminder, but still working and busy), we dropped the day time feeds, so it was a morning feed and a bad time feed plus if they woke in the night (although that was rare, especially for 2 of them). Dc1 dropped her night time feed around 18 months, but the other 2 dropped the morning feed first, so it was just a feed at bedtime, probably around the same age -18 months. I went for the ‘don’t offer, don’t refuse’ method as I was wanting to drop feeds, which worked for us.

Allthough my daughter started life mixed fed, when we got the hang of breastfeeding she was a bottle refuser. Great, allthough I worried about starting work, 3days a week with a 9 month old baby. She always loved food. I had a bit of freezer milk and initially packed my pump for my breaks at work. Childminder attempted to bottle feed her with my freezer store of expressed milk but she mostly refused. I stopped pumping after about a week and just had it in my bag in case I was uncomfortable ( which was only if I didn't have the pump) I asked the health visitor if I should restart formula but she said not worth it. She drank water and had food when I worked. She had about 3 feeds the days I was working, early morning, 530pm and bedtime. Days off she fed on demand. From about 18 months I stopped the bedtime feed for good sleep. Only just stopped now at 2 and a half as I've had the covid19 Vaccine this week.

Boobs are amazing, you don't need to pump if you miss a feed.

I fed until 3.5 with my first and am at 2 with my second.

Will you be working? You could try to dictate how often you feed but as your LO gets older and has more a mind of their own they may decide for you - which may be more or less than you would like! You could, of course, refuse but I think many long term bf-ers settle into a pattern known as “don’t offe, don’t refuse”, which means you acquiesce whenever they want to, basically! My first fed first thing and last thing, more or less, and most nap times at the weekend, but because I was at work and out of the house it wasn’t an option more frequently. I am at home with the second so they have many more opportunities to ask!

She can definitely skip a feed as she gets older - but she may not be willing to, once she has the habit of her bedtime feed, iyswim. You might find that tricky at 1ish but as she gets older - and if you persevere - you should be able to get someone else to do nighttime routine. She can have cows milk, though she might just want to wait to have breast milk in the night with you. I think it’s unlikely you’ll be able to pump enough milk for a cup - your supply is very different as they grow and depend less on the milk for actual sustenance.

You may have to pump to get down to two feeds - if that’s dictated by you and happens earlyish on, but otherwise it shouldn’t matter, especially as time goes on - you might feel a tiny bit “heavy” but in my experience won’t need to pump if you skip a feed.

Good luck! I never intended to breastfeed for a long time, it just sort of happened. But it was a real blessing to us in many ways and mostly a very positive experience.

Also still going at 2 years. Slightly different situation as we combi-fed from 4 months as I went back to work at 6 months, but he dropped bottles soon after turning 1 and since then has had cow's milk and water from a cup in the day. We feed morning and at night - he does feed to sleep most nights. I'm now pregnant with DC2, so probably going to have to stop soon, simply because I won't be able to lift a 14kg sleeping toddler into a cot - I imagine that is not going to be a fun process... I've not skipped a feed for months thanks to lockdown, but prior to that I was usually out one evening a week on average and didn't need to pump. DH did give a bottle on those nights though, but I imagine a cup would have been fine.

I fed DS1 until he had just turned two. He wanted a feed when I got in from work, and then four or five times in the night. He stopped because I was pregnant with DS2 and was pulling discussed faces when he tried my milk so I assumed it must have changed taste!

My DD is 18 months and she doesn’t feed in the evenings anymore, it’s only first thing in the morning (and maybe if she wakes in the night but she doesn’t do that often and when she does she rarely wants a feed anyway).
Her feeding in the morning is good because it gives us an extra 10/15 mins in bed to wake up because as soon as she’s done she wants to be up and about - she’s never been a cuddly lying in bed child.
I knew I wanted to bf for as long as possible, but I’m quite neutral about it at this point. If she stopped tomorrow that would be fine, if she kept going for another year I’d also be fine with that. But it does help that it’s not at night, and she has stayed the night away from me a couple of times and has been completely unbothered by not feeding in the morning then, so if I had to be away from her it wouldn’t cause her any problems.

Currently still feeding my 2yr 8m old. He wants it on and off all day but is away from me three days a week while I work. Tonight he's gone to bed without a feed - this has only happened a handful of times in his life. He will probably be up in the night wanting to be fed - I bring him into bed with me so we have a chance of more sleep. He drinks cows milk from a sippy cup or bottle, he eats three meals a day. He's 50th %ile for weight a d height. He just likes having boob on tap. It's not my choice to still be feeding, but it is my choice not to force him to stop. I've never spent a night away from him.

Still feeding my 21 month old. I never pumped during my 12 hour shifts and my supply regulated with him just feeding on my days off. He night weaned at one he will feed 1-3 times a day on my days off randomly but never before naps or feed to sleep. Sometimes he won't feed for 48 hours if im on 2 12 hour shifts in a row. He will sometimes feed on a morning if we lay in bed for a bit once he wakes up and has a bottle of cows milk before bed. His dad does all night wakes and bedtime routine. There isn't really a pattern to be honest but I realise that's probably in the minority. I would say don't think about it and let your body do the work

I fed my first for 2.5 years & second is 15 months & going strong.
Both mine refused bottles.
For us it looked like this:
Both babies took to solids well & naturally cut down to morning & night feeds bu the time I went back to work. Pretty much weaned at night from about 12 months unless teething or ill.
I never really pumped, only on a couple of occasions when I went away overnight from ds1. Just for comfort really, I wasn’t worried about supply. I also used to work a late shift & not feed to bed every night from about 18 months with him. Not tried that yet with ds2, bit I think he would be ok.
I’ve been lucky to find it very easy both times. Nothing soothes a teething or portly baby like a boob, so I fed ds1 until all his teeth were through & plan to do at least the same this time. Or maybe longer if we are still in a pandemic.
Good luck x

I fed my second for 16 months.

After about 10 months she was only taking a bf on waking and before going to sleep.

I bf my 2 1/2 yo. I went back to work one day a week and we both quickly got used to this. The first few times I was completely full though! Ds has it randomly throughout the day (more so now during homeschooling sessions with ds1) and when he goes to bed.

Posted too soon

To add

Yes you can skip a feed or give cows milk in a cup.

I didn't need to pump if I missed a feed.

DC1 until they were 2.5, DC2 until they were 4.
Your supply will adjust quite naturally according to what you find you need.
Both my DC would feed first thing in the morning, for comfort once or twice during the course of the day, and in my case, feed to sleep at night. Easy peasy. If ever in need of reassurance or comfort, ot was the easiest, most convenient thing ever.

Mine like a feed for naps during the day, when they're hurt/wanting comfort or when falling asleep in the evening (1 and 2 year olds).

Thank you so much for all the replies! It's really helpful and interesting to read them all. It seems that most have you have fallen into your own patterns of feeding and they're seemingly quite flexible which is really reassuring. I'm off work until lo is a year old and then I'll be working mornings only so initially I think I'll be available to feed pretty much as and when she wants and so will see how much / little she wants it.

My son took a bottle and would have a bottle of expressed milk before bed from a young age which meant either me or dh could put him to bed. So far dd won't take a bottle so it's always me that puts her to bed. I don't mind of course because she's so little (plus I have nowhere else to be!) but if I'm going to feed longer term, then I'd like the odd night off! So it's good to hear I wouldn't have to pump if I miss a feed and that an alternative like cows milk would probably work.

Thank you again for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate it. Hopefully there's lots more mileage in my breastfeeding journey this time!

I fed my DS until he was 20 months, I was pregnant for the last 8 months of it too. He loved breastfeeding and probably would’ve taken milk over food every time. It was a godsend when he was ill and refused to eat or drink much, he always liked the comfort of breastmilk. He would feed all day sometimes if I let him, right up until the end... I struggled to get him off it, DH had to take over at bedtime. I needed at least a month’s break before the baby started .

I BF’d both mine until about ~18 months. Beyond a year, it was pretty much just first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

It wasn’t a big deal if I missed a feed for whatever reason.

Good luck.

I fed Dd until she was 3 (she's 11 now so it's all a distant memory) and decided to stop herself. It saved her a hospital admission from dehydration when she was 2.5 years after a week of a particularly nasty episode of norovirus. You've had lots of replies about feeding after one so I'll leave that - Between the 2-3 birthdays it was a real mixed bag from very, very occasional comfort feeds, 30s a couple of times a week 'just to check in' to practically being a newborn when her molars came through and feeding for 20-30 mins a day for a week or so at a time.

The thing about feeding an older toddler is that they still seem like a baby to you. So when I look at 3 year olds now they seem huge and relatively grown up compared to a tiny baby but when I was feeding her it never felt that way and she has always been exceptionally tall was was probably around the height of a 4/5 year old when we stopped. You can communicate with them better and tell them to wait until you get home. Milk production continued until she was about 4.5 year but wasn't noticeable. As a single parent missing out on having some time alone in the evening was pretty tough but nowadays you can always listen to an ebook on your phone with some headphones in or watch something on a tablet. Although if you have a partner and other children there are other demands on your time at bedtime.

Obviously I have nothing to compare Dd to and even if I did no two children are the same, but I can say that she has shown / experienced every benefit that is promoted by breastfeeding including the fact she is very rarely ill (immunity), she was an early talker with good pronunciation (jaw and tongue development) , she is confident and was always happy to wave me off for nursery etc (attachment).

My LO is 14 months. He feeds on waking and before bed and before his 2 naps plus occasionally on demand (if hurt for comfort and when teething). He sleeps through 95% of the time but if he wakes in the night I will feed him as he resettles quicker.