Questions if you've breastfed for 1 year+

[Aria2015]

I breastfed my first until he was a year old. I was back at work and mainly pumping and he basically gave me up in favour of the bottle so I reluctantly stopped breastfeeding and pumping (hate pumping so bad!).

My second is now 4 months and EBF. I'm hoping that I can feed her beyond a year - I'd like to feed her until she gives me up (hopefully she has more staying power than her brother!).

I'm just wondering what breastfeeding past a year looks like? She'll be eating 3 meals a day by then and able to drink water and cows milk, so how often would she potentially breastfeed for? I'm assuming I can almost dictate that? Eg morning feed and bedtime feed.

Also, she doesn't take a bottle. If I'm feeding her morning and before bed, will I be restricted to never being able to be away from her for bedtimes? Or can she skip a feed by that age? Or have cows milk or expressed milk in a sippy cup?

If I'm down to feeding just twice a day, do I need to pump if I miss a feed? Or would my body be making a smaller amount of milk and so that's not needed?

Sorry! That's a lot of questions! Thanks in advance for any answers!

I fed both of mine to 2 years and the second one to 2.5 years. With the first, I was back at work when she was 9 months old and she refused a bottle of expresses milk or formula. Just would not take it from me or anyone. She hardly ate anything other than breadsticks and yoghurt and just reversed cycled so fed all night (I was a wreck for months). She then grew out of that and just did and morning and evening feed which was easier.

With my second I wasn’t working so had more time and was more relaxed. She was a much more efficient feeder and enjoyed her solid food, so we got into a morning and evening feed only routine. She did occasionally want one in the day for comfort or to have a nap, but only when were were in the house and not out and about. She could have fed for longer than 2.5 years but I had to go away for a few nights so that broke the habit (although she kept trying!). She is now nearly 7 and still loves my ‘boobies’ and hugging them! 😬

Dc1 fed until 20mo, dc2 until 15mo, I went back to work at 9mo with both.

Boobs will be fine so long as the change is gradual. At first when I went to the office I would sometimes hand express a bit into some loo roll to relieve pressure. Babies were fine with morning and evening feeds, I fed more on my days off work but everything was fine.

My dd bf until she was a few months over 3. I can't remember what happened exactly at what ages, but I know by the time she was about 18 months- ish, I could definitely leave her for a whole day with my mum or someone, and she was fine (may have been earlier than that).

She didn't take a bottle ever, but she'd drink water from a cup and she picked at food. She was very slow to eat, and very picky about what she would eat. We still have a few issues there, but it's getting better. (She's 6 now, and being assessed for asd and I think her food issues may be sensory related.)

Between ages 2 and 3, I limited day feeds when we were out and about (mostly out of my anxiety about feeding a toddler in public), especially as she got closer to 3. I think I bf once in the morning when she woke, and once before bed. I'd say no if she asked to bf at other times unless she was inconsolable because she'd hurt herself or something, or if she was unwell.

Night feeds were the last to go for us. I probably could have tried to stop them sooner, but as we were both happy with things the way they were, I didn't make much attempt to night wean until she was nearly 3. I think I started to say that my milk was finishing - it kind of felt like it was. She seemed to naturally be reducing bf by then too, and I had reached a stage of wanting my boobs back, so it was kind of self weaning but with added encouragement from me.

I really look back on our time breastfeeding with fondness. I don't know why I loved it so much tbh, but I really did. If I could change anything, it would be trying to not get so upset and embarrassed by negative comments (mainly from her dad's family), and also trying to not be so self conscious as I was about feeding in public, but other than that I really loved it and am glad I had the chance to bf her until I felt it came to a natural end. That was possibly the best thing to come out of a controlling relationship with a man who wouldn't let me work, as if I'd gone back to work I probably wouldn't have bf for so long... I'm glad to have thought of a positive I gained from that situation actually! Good luck to you op.

I fed two of mine until 15 months and one until 12 months. All three gave up on their own. With my eldest I was down to morning and bedtime feeds and I was always with her for them, but that was ok for me. The first time I missed the morning feed for an early meeting she dropped it. My other two were on three feeds when they stopped, morning, naptime and bedtime. I was still off work so that was possible. They gave up by dropping a feed here and there over a week or so but gradually refusing more and more of them. I never had to pump or get them to take a bottle (tried with my eldest but she refused) so not sure how those logistics would work for you I’m afraid.

DD is a little over 2 and we're still going. She started nursery at 13 months.

On nursery days she feeds first thing in the morning, when she gets in from nursery, and then winding down at the end of the evening.

On non-nursery days she feeds first thing when she wakes up and then intermittently all through the day. Same evening process as nursery days.

Supply has never been an issue, even after lockdown when she was feeding more in the day, it wasn't an issue when she went back. Also I've only fed from one side since she was about a year old, and that hasn't made any difference to either success or comfort levels for me.

We stopped feeding to sleep when she was 1 and developed a bedtime routine that involves milk downstairs then upstairs for story, getting ready for bed etc. so that anyone can do bedtime (not that we've been able to use that much this year!!). We night weaned around the same time too (I couldn't hack being up in the night and being back at work).

Currently no idea how or when I'll wind it down - can't quite see it at the mo! I hadn't particularly planned to still be going this long but it's just felt right. And to be honest it was useful for a bit of "sit down with a cuppa" time during lockdown one!

In terms of other milk, she consistently refused a bottle and initially wasn't interested in milk out of a cup but once she'd been at nursery a few months and got used to milk in a cup there she started to ask for it at home sometimes. She still doesn't have a lot but she has plenty of other dairy so I think it all balances out.

I fed until nearly 2 years with my first and will be doing the same with my second little chap (and our third) all being well. I fed mostly morning and evening with the odd snack if required. It's still a great source of comfort for them and fabulous if they're sick. I never pumped after he was one. If he missed a feed for some reason, it didn't seem to cause any problems. Hope that helps.

It can look like just morning and evening (and perhaps before a nap) - but IME the majority of 1 year olds still feed quite a lot and want to feed randomly, for comfort, for boredom, as part of a cuddle/affection with you. I found this quite tricky with my first as he often wanted to feed in public and I felt embarrassed about it. At that age they will also just randomly stick their arm down your top which can be annoying. It was much easier with my second, because we lived in Germany then and people don't bat an eye at a toddler being breastfed, whereas in the UK people think it's weird! That said, I never ever had any negative comments, occasionally had nice/positive ones and only once had a man do a double take (he then walked on without saying anything) and DS1 was quite old at that point - probably about 2.5 / 3 and I rarely ever fed him out and about. DS2 I haven't fed him in public since he was about 15 months old, probably because we never go anywhere now, but also because he's usually distracted by other things when we're out and about. He is 2.5 now.

If you wanted to be stricter and only feed at set times you could probably do this by using distraction and having stronger boundaries, I was too lazy Some 1yos also tend to lean on breastmilk rather than solid foods, DS1 did this (DS2 absolutely did not!!) if it happens I would recommend not to worry - you get a lot of people who will flap about it but they work it out in the end. DS1 is 12 now and still doesn't eat a great deal but also doesn't have breastmilk any more :o

Your supply will get more robust as you go on breastfeeding so gaps between feeds don't matter and neither do missing a routine feed. What you might find is that your toddler won't go to sleep without breastfeeding OTOH your babysitter/DH/caregiver might well have their own ways of soothing which work just as well. At the end of feeding DS1, he would only feed once every few days and it was never a problem. You will also find that you don't get engorged between feeds, don't leak and probably can't express at some point. This is generally fine because they can have cow's milk if you're not there.

BTW, when you start talking about milk with them, I recommend giving it an innoccuous name. It can be very embarrassing if your toddler announces in front of just the wrong person "I want BOOBIE!" whereas saying something like "I want milk" or "I want mimi" (DS1/DS2's names for it) is likely to be interpreted as them asking for a bottle or comfort toy.

Thank you for the replies! All super encouraging and is definitely helping me see what our breastfeeding future will hopefully be like! I'll definitely still feed on demand initially when she's one, as she'll be going through a lot of change as I return to work (mornings only) and will no doubt want the comfort. We'll see where we go from there!

I'm generally comfortable feeding out and about but with my first I got less comfortable the older he got because he was always popping off to look around and I felt a bit exposed! I tended to just keep feeds to when we were at home if I could as he got older. It was never a problem because he took a bottle so I could take expressed milk out with me. This little lady won't have a whiff of a bottle so I guess I'll just have to try and wear clever clothes for when she gets to the popping off stage!

Thank you again, so lovely to hear all these positive experiences! I really love breastfeeding and as this is my last baby, I really want our journey to last as long as it can.

Similar to you I fed my eldest for 13 months and stopped when I returned to work.

My second I decided to go for as long as she wanted. By a year she was down to just morning and night and quite quickly after than she wanted milk in a cup at bedtime just like her big brother. She had soya milk like her brother (she wants to be just like him)

She kept the morning feed until 17 months when she just refused to have it anymore.