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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Thought I wanted to be an extended BFer but two weeks away from 12 months and I feel like trying to stop

42 replies

Tapster · 25/10/2007 21:08

I am knackered DD has had 2 viruses on the trot and has woken 2/3 times a night for 3 weeks and my nipples hurt. DD also has never been that interested in solids and preparing 3 meals a day for the last 6 months 95% has ended up in the bin has pushed me to the limit.

When she isn't sick has 4-6 feeds a day and one a night. How do I wean her? She loves boob and even hates cows milk on her cereal she has to have it dry. She bites me (my leg today) when she wants a feed and I try and distract her or give her a snack/water.

BFing was enjoyable it isn't at the moment - I could probably continue for longer if I could feed her at morning and night only I just can't see how I am going to get there.

Any advice?

OP posts:
CantSleepWontSleep · 25/10/2007 21:13

Take heart from me Tapster.

DD was feeding about 9 times a day at 11 months and refusing solids (there's a thread somewhere with me whinging about it), and by 12 months I had cut her down to 2 a day . We have odd phases where she wants it incessantly, but these are normally due to teething, and other than that it's great to still be doing it (at 20 months).

If your dd really hates cows milk, then it's not going to be easy to wean her off the breast. You could try offering rice milk during the day and bf first and last thing, and see if she likes that any better.

policywonk · 25/10/2007 21:15

Have a squint at Dr Sears on weaning

It doesn't have to be all or nothing - if you want to just restrict her to certain feeds, you can.

Poor thing, you sound fed up. Even if you decide to wean completely, you shouldn't beat yourself up. You've done brilliantly, and you're entitled to make a decision that will make you happy, as well as your DD.

FrannyandGreenychordCarrier · 25/10/2007 21:22

Which bit isn't enjoyable? is it the tiredness aspect mostly? or the pain? Or something else?

one positive about bfing: if she doesn't eat much, it really is the best thing for her

have you tried her with a bottle? (I know it is a bit old to start, but...) Could you replace the feeds you want to drop, with bottle feeds? would the novelty distract her from the fact it is not your own milk?

you sound over stretched in all directions, the bf is probably only part of it. Can you get more help / support / rest / time for yourself at all?

Ultimately my advice would be to carry on if you can and want to, because it is such a stonking tool to have to use with a stroppy toddler, and very useful nutritionally, especially for fussy eaters

think short term not long term! A month is a very long time in the life of a child this age

MaeWhooooohest · 25/10/2007 21:23

I went through a period like this, bf just felt too much. DS was eating quite a lot of food, but still feeding lots as well, especially at night. Just after his first birthday we had another go at night-weaning (had tried around 9 months but he just screamed the place down). To my surprise when DH went in to settle him (he offered cup of water) he went back to sleep - not quickly, but to sleep nonetheless.

He now usually sleeps through until 4 or 5am, when I bring him into bed and feed him and we doze off again. Sometimes he even sleeps all the way to 6.30/7ish, which is great. He doesn't often feed in the day now and it feels more manageable somehow. He is now 15 months. Agree with policywonk, it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

policywonk · 25/10/2007 21:25

Ignore me, listen to Franny.

This advice applies across most topics.

FrannyandGreenychordCarrier · 25/10/2007 21:30

I thought your advice was fine wonky! I don't think we were in disagreement were we?

FrannyandGreenychordCarrier · 25/10/2007 21:30

(it may however apply on play dough )

artichokes · 25/10/2007 21:30

I second Can'tSleeps suggestion that you try rice milk if she does not like cows milk. It is very sweet and so tastes more like breast milk. DD is 15 months and allergic to cows milk. I still BF but since she was 11 months DD has happily accepted a bottle of rice milk when I am at work. If your DD was happy to have the occassional bottle it might give you the flexiblity you need to recuperate.

FrannyandGreenychordCarrier · 25/10/2007 21:32

that is good advice also IME

you could also try sweetened soya milk, ds said it tasted like breastmilk

CantSleepWontSleep · 25/10/2007 21:35

Soya milk not generally recommended for the under 2's though Franny.

FrannyandGreenychordCarrier · 25/10/2007 21:37

not as a main milk drink ie as formula, or not at all?

sorry am ignorant on this

policywonk · 25/10/2007 21:39

Franny - it's just that you always manage to encourage women to stay with it without sounding as though they'd be failing if they didn't. And your advice is very practical and focussed.

gomez · 25/10/2007 21:41

Oat milk is also worth a try as a milk substitue instead of dairy.

IME until I have cut back on breastfeeds all three of my children have been pretty poor eaters TBH.

With DS, youngest and dairy allergic, by around 9 months I was well hacked-off with frequent day time feeds and still 1 or 2 nightfeeds so I cut right back on breastfeeds. He got fed on wakening, mid-morning, mid-afternoon and bed only. Eating increased wonderfully, dropped the mid-morning feed and eating again improved. We went to am and bed feeds only at around 11 months and he has now dropped am feed himself so is currently only having a breastfeed at bedtime and TBH that is getting shorter and shorter. (Has just turned 1.) I never cut out on during the night feeds but as his day-time food consumption increased he stopped wakening and life got much, much rosier!

Mindful of another thread this evening on extended breastfeeding however I am very much of the feeding for nutrition not comfort school of thought and if you feel different then I am not sure how you will cut back on feeds.

HTH

gomez · 25/10/2007 21:43

Soya milk fine from 6 month but shouldn't be used as main source of milk until 2 is current recommendation.

However the calcium and vitamin enriched versions are not significantly different to cows milk TBH. Dietician has not been able to explain why recommendations are different.

FrannyandGreenychordCarrier · 25/10/2007 21:47

is it the possible hormone disrupting effect gomez?

I wonder how the advice would stand in this case, where it would be part bf / part soya milk?

anyway the OP could try the other non-soya milks, that sounds like a better idea

CantSleepWontSleep · 25/10/2007 21:53

Yes franny - there's a risk (believed to be stronger in boys) of infertility in later life as a result of having soya too early.
Also it seems to rot teeth much worse than cows milk.
Occasional soya products (yogurts etc) are ok, but not recommended for consumption in volume.

Of course SMA don't mention this on their tins of Wysoy .

gomez · 25/10/2007 21:55

Well that I don't know Franny as I am in a simlar boat. DS is dairy allergic and will not tolerate soya formula. We muddle by with rice milk/soya milk/oat milk and a breastfeed now. Dietician/allergy paed. were a bit unknowing on that combo TBH!

DS has a good and (now) large and varied appetite. Not convinced that he is likely to have much nutrional issues with his current mix.

However I do have the safety net of blood tests taken about 6 weeks ago and all relevant levels were tickity boo! Just need to keep then there

FrannyandGreenychordCarrier · 25/10/2007 21:56

I don't understand how this fits in with (for instance) Japanese people

they eat loads of soy am I right? is there lots of infertility there?

FrannyandGreenychordCarrier · 25/10/2007 21:57

oh my interest apart from pure nosiness is that we drink soya milk, so I have read up on it in the past

(ds doesn't have it as a main drink but he has it on cereal etc)

he likes oat milk but i can't hack the look of it - it looks AWFUL in tea (my main use for milk)

CantSleepWontSleep · 25/10/2007 21:58

No idea on that one I'm afraid Franny, but I wonder if their bodies process things in a different way anyway?

CantSleepWontSleep · 25/10/2007 22:00

I've been having soya milk on my cereal for quite a while, but dd seems to have just outgrown her intolerance, so I had cows milk today as it was already out of the fridge. Yuk, yuk, yuk. I think it's going to take me a while to wean myself back!!

gomez · 25/10/2007 22:00

Am unconvinced on the size of the reported fertily risk TBH - did read extensively when DS was clearly allergic.

CSWS which who doesn't recommend soya consumption - not challenging by the way am interested. Noted the other day that Alpro now have the from 6 months but not as sole source message on their cartons now so am intrigued.

[Also gives me an almost valid excuse to not finish essay...........]

gomez · 25/10/2007 22:01

which body or who would perhaps have made more sense........

MrsCarrot · 25/10/2007 22:05

I don't know about soya milk, but DD stopped breatsfeeding at 13 months and refused any other kind of milk, cows, rice, oat, anything. She just had water and I tried to make sure she ot her calcium from other sources. She's 5 now and still doesn't like it though she'll have yoghurt.

My lo is nine months now and though I am going to try and feed for longer, I really recognise that exhausting feeling you have as I've had loads of mastitis. Do you think this could be a phase that passes? If not, I'm sure gradual reduction would be fine. It's great to get this far. I keep trying to tell myself that anyway.

CantSleepWontSleep · 25/10/2007 22:08

Hadn't noticed that on the Alpro cartons gomez, although am loathe to believe anything that a manufacturer prints about age suitability .

It was dd's h/v/paed/dietician who advised re soya (I bought wysoy to try at about 7 months, and h/v said not to use it). I didn't ask them to back up their advice at the time! Did read quite a bit about it afterwards, but stuff seemed very unclear/contradictory. I tend to think that there's some risk, but don't think anyone can quantify quite how much, which probably means it's reasonably small. As someone who has an acute inability to conceive children, however, I guess I'm quite sensitive to risks of this type, however small.

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