Weeks of bf hell due to MW mistake

[JTH82]

I apologise in advance for the obscene length of this post but I need to vent so I don’t feel like i am going mad 🙈

Well , where do I start . I knowposting here won’t make a jot of difference to my situation but I honestly just need to talk/rant/ know I am not going crazy.

My baby was born 8 weeks ago at a very healthy 9lb 6 .
I was 11 days overdue so baby was very swollen and way bigger than expected . I am very tall slim as is my partner .( so baby’s bulk was a shock )

Baby was diagnosed with a tongue tie at birth but MW said to see how he went with feeding ; he latched immediately at birth and fed beautifully and continued to do so up until day 3 . His latch was checked by several,different people whilst in hospital and all agreed he was feeding beautifully .

Days 1-3 baby was settled , feeding and sleeping as newborns should and never seemed hungry after feeds , nappies indicated everything was going well with bf .
On the third evening baby was unsettled and my breasts were very hard and lumpy , I think my milk was not quite in and baby was getting frustrated and the breast and was crying , however on day 4 and 5 baby again was feeding and seemed content , coming off boob with milk in mouth and poo was transitioning in colour .

So , I was shocked when MW came to weigh baby on day 5 and her scales showed he had lost 12 percent of his birth weight . I knew he’d Lost some as he no longer looked like a swollen bulldog and now resembled his dad instead but he did not look like he had lost over a pound in weight and gone down to 8lb 3!

The MW had observed me feeding him twice by then and said all looked well and baby had just finished a feed just before he was weighed. His tongue wasn’t stopping him though I did need to be careful with his latch as he would slip off and gum me ( painfully) at times.

I was obviously distraught that I thought BF was going well and I must have been so wrong.
The midwife commented that she couldn’t believe how well he looked considering how much he had lost .
This statement in itself should have made me question her scales or the fact that she was in fact weighing him on my carpet and rug but it didn’t as I was so upset. ( we lost a baby prior to this and my anxiety was awful )
She’s said we would need admitting to hospital and told my husband to go out and get formula .

She tried to feed him but he wouldn’t take any ( bear in mind he had just had a 40 min feed) so she said he was too lethargic to feed ( he was full and sleepy) .
I took all this in , panicking and sobbing m how could I have not realised how much weight he had dropped!

On admittance to hospital he wasn’t reweighed . Tests were done and all came back fine . He was perfect , no jaundice, no dehydration .

I was put on strict orders to feed every 2 hours , top up with 2 oz then pump.

Baby never took much top up at all A’s was getting enough milk and I lost track of the amount of differing advise I got during the one day stay I was in for; super stressful for a mum who previously suffered PND brought on my anxiety on my first child .

Doctors snipped baby’s tongue tie the morning of our second day , weighed him ,, were happy with both feeding and weight and so discharged Us.
Now , here is the thing , baby had put on a massive 7 oz in a day ! ( surely completely impossible ?)
At the time I was just happy he had gained but after enduring 7 subsequent weeks of hell I feel angry and now needs adivise about getting my supply up to scratch .

My baby was obviously misweighed and interventions put in place that probably wasn’t required . As a result i doñt think my supply fully came in as baby was filled with formula and didn’t feed as frequently . this has led to slow weight gain of around 4 oz a week . Baby I feel confidence I should shot , leading to be doubting my body and going back to formula top ups which have affected my supply. For the last twin weeeks I have been feeding , pumping and topping up in order to get supply up but have now been told to go back to bf only by the doctor/ HV . I feel sick at the thought of not giving my baby enough milk but also want to keep breastfeeding .

Does anyone’s have any super tips to increase supply that I may not have already tried?
I am trying to push past the anger of having to endure weeks of upset that could have been avoided and make positive steps to continue breastfeeding if possible .

Oh dear.
Best thing to start with is to take some big deep breaths. Realise you did nothing wrong and this is very salvageable.

My first baby was formula top ups and a real nightmare breastfeeding start. I pumped every feed and was sick to death.
He was reattatched at 6 weeks where his little gob had grown and fed within top ups etc until 2yrs.

Second baby I knew I'd not listen to the myriad of advice and follow my own lead.
So baby fed great for the days is hospital. Weighed after 3 days, she'd lost just over 10pc and they said...oh you can top up if you like. I didn't. It's not an exact science.
Just kept feeding no longer than 4hrs in between (from starts of feed not end) and monitored fontenelle and per and poop colour.
No issues.. within a week she had regained, mill was in and really no drama.

I'd eat lots of oats, that helps my supply. Keep hydrated and snack lots, have nuts and cereal bars etc around.

You're going to be fine.
Obviously any concerns book in to be checked but in my experience it evens out.
Breastfeeding takes a while to get going, those charts they give you to plot along are formula weights.

You'll be fine.

That should say fed with no top ups until age 2. Bloody phone

Thank you , I have been hammering the pats for the last few days and think there’s a slight increase but will continue with that .

My supply is great in early hours but drops off at lunch time and feel like baby is attached to me constantly and never satisfied .

I wish I had been assertive and said no to top ups but this is where I am at so need to move forward . X thanks for replying

Agree, big deep breaths - it is totally possible to reduce the formula top ups if you want to over the next couple of weeks. Call the La Leche League helpline and ask them to help you make a plan. Go back to basics - skin to skin, and yes it will feel like baby is always trying to feed - this will get your supply up. You sound like a brilliant Mum OP, and how lucky your baby is to have you as their Mummy Remember to spend some time just enjoying your beautiful baby, maybe with some baby massage or similar, so life isn't all about feeding.

That all sounds stressful OP. I am glad your baby is healthy now. I found fenugreek capsules helpful in increasing my supply - but do check with a healthcare professional first.

How much formula is your baby having in 24 hours? How often are you breastfeeding (around)? Are you topping up after every feed?

You poor thing! Lots and lots of skin to skin is the best way to get your supply up and I totally know the feeling of baby constantly attached but even if they're not always getting that much then it will help increase supply so its worth persevering for a while. Good luck!

My supply is great in early hours but drops off at lunch time and feel like baby is attached to me constantly and never satisfied

I think it's quite usual for supply to fluctuate over the course of the day. I think the easiest way of increasing supply is to keep feeding when he asks for it. Even if it seems like he's not full, then the cluster feeding will increase your supply. It sounds like you're already doing what you need to be doing - keep going and try not too worry too much (easier said than done, I know!)

How do you know what your supply is like?

It’s quite normal to express a lot less than your baby can get out, so you can’t measure it that way.

Hi @JTH82

All I can say is...I went through exactly the same thing. Except instead of faulty scales, my baby had silent reflux which resulted in her weight loss. I noticed the symptoms straight away at week 2 and kept flagging it up, only to be dismissed and be told that my milk supply was inadequate. I was also told 'she's been starving for the last week' (excellent choice of words). I spent hundreds of pounds hiring a private lactation consultant and weeks of pumping like a mad woman, lots of tears, anxiety and what I think was the brink of PND...only to have my baby diagnosed with silent reflux 6 weeks later. I am furious but what's done is done. I was thinking of having a similar rant haha but just haven't found the time :D My husband wanted to make an official complaint, especially about the starvation comment because that really triggered my anxiety, but it probably won't change anything now.

My baby has silent reflux too , ( my daughter had it but didn’t affect her weight at al ) I have mentioned this to HVs but didn’t realise it could cause slow gain . He hiccups constantly , spews but swallows it back like he’s chewing and won’t drink much at a time now , like sometimes will feed for 5 mins and stop despite breast compressions etc. I thought it was due to low supply triggered by the early intervention /bottles etc
I completely emphathise with you , I too have felt on the verge of a second bout of PND a few times and can’t go there again .
I thought the low weight gain was due to my supply but can silent reflux cause low weight gain ? How so ?

How is your little one now ? Did they prescribe Ranitadine ( if that’s how you spell it ) ?

She's up and down. The silent reflux caused weight loss because at times she would simply refuse to feed as she was in so much discomfort. I also wonder if she had associated feeding with pain. Anyway, now she is on omeprazole which seems to have helped with her reflux. She still isn't 100% as we suspect some sort of allergy/CMPI (again something which I flagged up and was ignored about until further weight loss recently). I'm now on an elimination diet, so let's see how things go.

I have been genuinely shocked by the lack of training and the haste with which the midwives tell mums that their milk supply isn't adequate. Our bodies are made to supply what baby demands. My LC told me how rare it is to actually have a genuinely low supply. I also kept telling them that DD had LOTS of wet and dirty nappies- surely she would be dehydrated if my supply wasn't enough? The response I got was "well..sometimes you can feed them all you want but they just don't get the milk"
?!?!?!?!?!?!

Baby being attached constantly and suckling is perfectly normal, it doesn't mean a problem with your supply at all. Cluster feeding is a natural part of their cycle as they have growth spurts and/or just want to spend time on the boob. Lots of time suckling akin to skin is exactly what you need to stimulate more milk. It's perfectly possible to shift back to exclusive breastfeeding (if that's what you want) as all women's supply has to grow and wane according to the baby's needs anyway. Try not to stress or overthink it and do what feels natural

LuchaGarcia I am the same , keep thinking it’s low supply but baby has lots of heavy wet nappies in a day and at least one massive poo.
Today he had had 4 super heavy nappies by about 10am , I feel like I am going round in circles. As of this eve he is very sleepy after immunisations and not feeding very well , he has been having 5 minute feeds all afternoon and so is prob only getting foremilk and I can feel what I think may be the start of mastitis as he isn’t draining my boobs .so maybe it isn’t ( just) a supply issue , maybe it’s sometging else too but I am at a loss.
Orishan it is want I want as never wanted to give formula and feel upset that I gave it under the seemingly false understanding of 12 percent weight loss. However as time goes on and baby is consistently only gaining 4oz a week I am getting more and more anxious of it affecting his development .
I breastfed my daughter for 7 months until I was told I could no longer due to medication I was put on and had zero issues. She gained beautifully despite starting on the 2nd centile and actually weighed more at 8 weeks than my son does , it’s worrying me so much .

Ditch the formula completely and feed on demand. That is how baby's increase and regulate supply- it's a supply demand relationship. Have a good read through both the la lech league and Kellymom websites. Foremilk and hindmilk is no longer considered accurate either.

Have you tried switch nursing, where you swap sides repeatedly as soon as the baby looses interest / falls asleep / slows to comfort nursing - <a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=kellymom.com/hot-topics/low-supply/&ved=2ahUKEwj16eyos4_tAhUZSxUIHad8Aq0QFjAAegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw1xc4NSZWvE7YsMuAUfpebK&cshid=1605816195624" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=kellymom.com/hot-topics/low-supply/&ved=2ahUKEwj16eyos4_tAhUZSxUIHad8Aq0QFjAAegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw1xc4NSZWvE7YsMuAUfpebK&cshid=1605816195624

lookingatthings I know that’s what I should do but as long as my baby looks so skinny I can’t bring myself to do it .
I am pumping to maintain supply if I give a topup though and powerpumping at least once a day.
Duckchick I am trying switch nursing plus breast compressions etc but whatever I do he only seems to gain a minute amount and I swear he looks like he has lost weight since his jabs yesterday . Quite honestly the worry is starting to consume me .

DD's first few weeks sound strikingly similar, even down to an error in recording her weight (they'd recorded her birth weight wrong at 3.2kg instead of 3.02kg).

I understand the upset over formula. The hospital insisted that DD have a bottle and I refused to feed her it and said they would have to do it (DD puked what looked like the full amount straight back up!) but we ended up on the dreaded feeding regime with formula top ups and expressed top ups. It was pure torture in the night waking ourselves every three hours.

At 4 weeks I threw my toys out of the pram and said 'no more formula top ups' as I knew the top ups were fucking up establishing my supply. It did take a leap of faith but DD was very alert during the day which helped to reassure me that despite slow gains she was ok. By 7 weeks we were comfortably in a rhythm with BF and DD was gaining weight steadily (but still slowly on the 4th percentile line) and at that point I stopped worrying about her.

DD was a very long, very skinny baby. Looking back at photos I do understand why the midwives/health visitors were nervous about letting me continue to purely breastfeed but if I have another DC I hope I'll have more confidence to persevere purely with BF at the outset.

My little one is very long and thin too , so am I , so is my husband and my daughter however I knew my daughter was feeding well though as she was gaining weight well and going up the centiles instead of down .

He is gaining steadily with every weigh in but it’s still a concern .

The demand is starting to take a real toll now and so close to giving up as I don’t want to get PND again .

@JTH82 Once you're told you have a low supply, it's REALLY difficult to shake off the constant self doubt. Almost 3 weeks into finally being EBF, I still wonder from time to time but then she will do a massive poop and I'll feel better lol. I was also giving formula top ups for a while but got fed up of pumping and also took a leap of faith and took a 'nursing vacation'. Only took a week or so after that to be formula free. Her stomach issues have also been slightly better since then. I think my LC is the one who gave me the confidence to just go for it.

Sorry that happened to you OP, that sounds really tough.

Almost the exact same thing happened to me with my first. A few days after birth the paediatrician (this wasn’t the UK) told me my daughter wasn’t gaining any weight and that I had to put her on formula immediately. She was a small baby but I just knew that she had been feeling well and totally ignored the doctor. At the next appointment she weighed her against and looked really puzzled and then admitted that her scales must have been faulty. I had the confidence to ignore her because at the start of my pregnancy another doctor had told me at an ultrasound that I had an empty sack and was going to miscarry and prescribed me something to help it along. I just knew he was wrong so didn’t take it and so glad I didn’t because she wouldn’t be here today.

Medical staff make mistakes quite a lot unfortunately with regards to things they can’t easily see with their own eyes (I.e. fetus in the stomach, milk in the breasts). I would make a complaint against the MW though if you feel the way she treated you wasn’t right.

If your breasts were hard and lumpy in the hospital it’s because they were bursting with milk!

Your baby is gaining weight so I would ditch the formula, stop pumping and just cuddle and feed your baby a lot and I’m sure you’ll have loads of milk in no time. You may already have lots of milk. Pumping can be quite stressful and give you the impression that you have less milk than you actually do - babies can get tons of milk out of your breasts much more efficiently than a pump

How much formula is your baby having a day? If your hv and gp said to go back to ebf then it must only be a small amount? Or has it increased since then? Pp can't simply say 'ditch the formula' if the baby is having a significant amount a day, but I'm guessing that isn't the case op?

It varies from 4 oz to 8 oz depending on what he takes after feeds
Some feeds he won’t take anything or seems satisfied after breast feeding .
I feel like I can’t stop as a deficit of 8 oz a day is huge to me ! That could result in weight loss surely. I would rather work on upping my supply as much as possible first.

Doctor and HV didn’t even ask the total formula he is having which to me seems dangerous to then suggest stopping .

The measures I have taken so far seems to have worked somewhat however I did about 2 weeks EBF and then panicked as he wasn’t gaining more than 4oz each week but now realise that my supply two weeks ago before I started giving top ups again was better than it is now ( or seemed that way) and he seemed happy and content and didn’t cry for feeds. Having talked myself into a corner I know I need to keep on with the pumping etc to boost supply but if baby wants to feed I put him on the boob.
If I feed him on one boob per feed and pump the other at the same time , would that boost supply?
At the end of every day I want to give up and then the morning seems to give me a new start ( possibly because my supply is really good overnight and into the morning and baby seems so happy feeding)
My stubborn side is coming in handy at the moment .😂

Hi OP,

I strongly suggest that you contact a qualified lactation consultant or an organisation like La Leche League who can give you some professional advice. The trouble with people posting here with suggestions is that we can't see your baby or watch a feed, and some well-meaning advice here may not be correct. There is a lot of misinformation out there about supply.

It does sound like the midwife has caused problems for you, and I think it should be possible to get back to exclusive breastfeeding, and this is what a lactation consultant can help you with.

I wish you all the best with it.

Just wanted to say that it is possible to put on 7oz in a week. Average is 4-5oz weight gain / week in first few weeks

My baby put on that for 2-3 weeks in a row and then slowed again. Often weight gain isn’t linear and can fluctuate. I wouldn’t necessarily fixate on the fact that the first weight was a mistake as there isn’t actually any evidence of this.