Weeks of bf hell due to MW mistake

[JTH82]

I apologise in advance for the obscene length of this post but I need to vent so I don’t feel like i am going mad 🙈

Well , where do I start . I knowposting here won’t make a jot of difference to my situation but I honestly just need to talk/rant/ know I am not going crazy.

My baby was born 8 weeks ago at a very healthy 9lb 6 .
I was 11 days overdue so baby was very swollen and way bigger than expected . I am very tall slim as is my partner .( so baby’s bulk was a shock )

Baby was diagnosed with a tongue tie at birth but MW said to see how he went with feeding ; he latched immediately at birth and fed beautifully and continued to do so up until day 3 . His latch was checked by several,different people whilst in hospital and all agreed he was feeding beautifully .

Days 1-3 baby was settled , feeding and sleeping as newborns should and never seemed hungry after feeds , nappies indicated everything was going well with bf .
On the third evening baby was unsettled and my breasts were very hard and lumpy , I think my milk was not quite in and baby was getting frustrated and the breast and was crying , however on day 4 and 5 baby again was feeding and seemed content , coming off boob with milk in mouth and poo was transitioning in colour .

So , I was shocked when MW came to weigh baby on day 5 and her scales showed he had lost 12 percent of his birth weight . I knew he’d Lost some as he no longer looked like a swollen bulldog and now resembled his dad instead but he did not look like he had lost over a pound in weight and gone down to 8lb 3!

The MW had observed me feeding him twice by then and said all looked well and baby had just finished a feed just before he was weighed. His tongue wasn’t stopping him though I did need to be careful with his latch as he would slip off and gum me ( painfully) at times.

I was obviously distraught that I thought BF was going well and I must have been so wrong.
The midwife commented that she couldn’t believe how well he looked considering how much he had lost .
This statement in itself should have made me question her scales or the fact that she was in fact weighing him on my carpet and rug but it didn’t as I was so upset. ( we lost a baby prior to this and my anxiety was awful )
She’s said we would need admitting to hospital and told my husband to go out and get formula .

She tried to feed him but he wouldn’t take any ( bear in mind he had just had a 40 min feed) so she said he was too lethargic to feed ( he was full and sleepy) .
I took all this in , panicking and sobbing m how could I have not realised how much weight he had dropped!

On admittance to hospital he wasn’t reweighed . Tests were done and all came back fine . He was perfect , no jaundice, no dehydration .

I was put on strict orders to feed every 2 hours , top up with 2 oz then pump.

Baby never took much top up at all A’s was getting enough milk and I lost track of the amount of differing advise I got during the one day stay I was in for; super stressful for a mum who previously suffered PND brought on my anxiety on my first child .

Doctors snipped baby’s tongue tie the morning of our second day , weighed him ,, were happy with both feeding and weight and so discharged Us.
Now , here is the thing , baby had put on a massive 7 oz in a day ! ( surely completely impossible ?)
At the time I was just happy he had gained but after enduring 7 subsequent weeks of hell I feel angry and now needs adivise about getting my supply up to scratch .

My baby was obviously misweighed and interventions put in place that probably wasn’t required . As a result i doñt think my supply fully came in as baby was filled with formula and didn’t feed as frequently . this has led to slow weight gain of around 4 oz a week . Baby I feel confidence I should shot , leading to be doubting my body and going back to formula top ups which have affected my supply. For the last twin weeeks I have been feeding , pumping and topping up in order to get supply up but have now been told to go back to bf only by the doctor/ HV . I feel sick at the thought of not giving my baby enough milk but also want to keep breastfeeding .

Does anyone’s have any super tips to increase supply that I may not have already tried?
I am trying to push past the anger of having to endure weeks of upset that could have been avoided and make positive steps to continue breastfeeding if possible .

I have an appointment on Monday with an infant feeding coordinator and will go from there . In the meantime I will continue to pump, eat oats , drink the tea and top up as I need to and try to gust my instincts .

*trust

@vinoelle . I know 7 oz in a week is possible , my daughter sometimes put on 14 oz in a week !

But it wasn’t in a week that he had apparently put on 7 oz though , it was a day! He was weighed just 36 hours after midwife weighed him and loss had gone from 12 percent to 7 percent !

She put the scales on my rug , on a carpet and not on a flat ,level surface .

@JTH82 ah apologies I misread that. We had similar with the HV with scales on the rug and it caused me worry too. Sorry that’s happened.

Hi, I'm sorry you are struggling. My daughter is 6 months old and some of what you have said really resonates.

My main piece of advice would be to seek the advice of a breastfeeding counsellor. Midwives and health visitors in my own experience have limited knowledge and a breastfeeding worker will have seen and heard this all before. There may be one attached to your local hospital or try La Leche league for details if not.

I have been breastfeeding with top ups since DD was about 3 weeks old. I was advised not to stop the formula top ups all of a sudden, instead to try and replace some of the formula top up with expressed top up. (I personally found the breastfeeding, top ups and pumping too overwhelming so made the decision for my own mental health to keep with formula top ups. Sometimes she just refuses them so I take it she is ok on those occasions and is putting on weight nicely).

If your gut instinct says not to stop cold turkey then you know best as you are mum! If you are able to get frequent weigh ins and choose to reduce top ups I'd do it gradually and ask for weight checks to make sure there is no impact.

My son is very long and skinny. He was 9lb1 at birth. He's 3 now and 109cm! He was so skinny as a baby which was partly due to his milk allergy. We were told to top up with formula but no one listened to me saying he'd puke it all up.

Anyway, some babies are long and thin. One of the lactation consultants I saw did say that some babies are born bigger / heavier than they naturally should be because the placenta does such a good job. During the early weeks of feeding they settle onto the line they should be. It could be that your LO was a bit larger at birth but is settling down to his natural location.

@JTH82 I'm definitely not an expert, but we were admitted into hospital for excess weight loss with DC3. He'd lost 13% and hospital tests showed he was dehydrated. They did reweigh him on admission into hospital, 24 hours later he had put on 4.5 oz. He was no longer dehydrated, so I think the very rapid weight gain was because he was dehydrated.

Did they do any tests to check how dehydrated your DC was? Were there any other signs of dehydration?

I had successfully breastfed my first two DC and I still felt like a complete failure after we were admitted. I didn't find the hospital advice very helpful, and think I only managed to quickly get off the formula top ups was that I'd breastfed successfully previously so was confident I had the milk supply.

I'd definitely talk to an expert lactation consultant as previous posters have suggested. If you are stuck though, there is a day by day plan on how to reduce formula top ups here kellymom.com/ages/newborn/nb-challenges/decrease-formula/

Twizbe ,I am hoping that’s what it is
He was so bloated born he was bright purple and had no vernix at all , his skin on his hands and feet was hanging off as it was all peeled , we called him flaky pastry for the first few weeks as his peeling was so bad. I think he was much more than his 10/11 days over due .
I am 5.10 and normally a size 8 , my husband is 5.10 and 12 stone and very narrow in stature .
My daughter was also very long and thin but was born small and went up,the centiles i think she was high in height and middling in weight though.
@Duckchick all the tests were done and all came back perfect , he had zero signs of dehydration . The midwife who weighed him as having a 12% loss even commented that she couldn’t believe how well he looked and that she would never have thought to look at him he had lost 12 % , possibly because he hadn’t . He didn’t have a trace of jaundice either and five minutes before midwife had come to house had had a yellow poo and predict all over me whilst changing him . I wish I had not panicked and used my critical thinking 🙈

• peed not predict 🙈

Thank you for the link , that’s really useful I really appreciate it x

I used fenugreek at first to boost my supply, it worked but it gave my baby terrible wind. I switched to goat’s rue, not as much of a supply increase but still enough and no wind issues for baby.

Try not to stress too much about what’s happened, it’s normal to be given lots of conflicting advice on breastfeeding, I think the advice is very subjective! Just experiment with different ways of feeding and you’ll find your rhythm. I found that a 3 or 4 hourly feed was enough to establish a good supply and rhythm with a wake up/change nappy/feed/wind/awake time/sleep routine. If you feed more regularly then the baby is constantly snacking so may not have the full belly that leads to a long sleep. Again others will disagree!

With DC1 I pumped after feeding to increase my supply but my whole life then centered around feeding & pumping. Exhausting, looking back. With DC2 I exclusively bf’d and only pumped off excess milk in the beginning. So much easier and it felt more relaxed and natural. Have you thought of buying your own baby weighing scales? I did, and weighed both babies regularly. It’s reassuring, and you can then make your own decision to supplement bf if baby doesn’t put on weight.

This happened to us too with dd2 and it made me so paranoid about her weight. She was born by emcs after a 5 day long failed induction and was 8lb2, but lost 13%. We had to go back in for 3 days and the same thing as you with the top ups and expressing. It was so stressful and I was in bits.
We ended up replacing the bedtime feed with a bottle of formula as that worked for us. Every other feed she was breastfed.
Shes always been slow to gain, but is still following her line. Her dad is tall and slim and she has his build. She's beautifully healthy but is very tall. She's 3 now and we breastfed until she was 2.5.
In the end I went with my instincts. Like you, we were told so many different things that my head was in a whirl.
Dd2 was born in May at 8lb13. She lost 10% but they were much more relaxed this time and I didn't have to go in, just give top ups. I had more confidence this time, so we replaced a feed with a bottle again and breastfed on demand the rest of the time. It works for us.
Shes a different baby altogether- shes like me, small and chunky! I've not been able to obsess about her weight as I've not been able to get her properly weighed, but she looks super healthy and has lots of wet nappies.
You're doing an amazing job, try not to worry too much. Lots of skin to skin and make sure you drink plenty of water. I hope the lactation consultant is helpful.

Thank you all for your support .
My little man has been feeding much better the last few days and we have started to ease off the top ups as all they do is make him reflux , uncomfortable and whingey and stop him feeding frequently which is what my supply needs .
I have still been pumping like a maniac and literally that’s is all I have done since Wednesday is pump and feed which is draining .
Today we have had a nurse in and had zero top ups so far . Baby seems happy , content , coming off the boob relaxed and milk drunk and sleeping really well.
We weighed him on our bathroom scales yesterday and he had put on 5 oz since Wednesday so will keep an eye on that with removing top ups .
@Helbelle75Like you we think we still will give a bottle of expressed breast milk or formula ( usually both mixed together as he will not take just bm from a bottle !) at bedtime as it gives me a break to halve a bath etc .
I found my daughters baby book today and looking at her 8- 10 week check , she was only half a cm shorter than him and 7 oz lighter and tracking the same centiles for weight and height that he is . However she was born on the second centile so no fuss was made at the fact she was a very long and skinny baby .

Maybe being in lockdown and my extra eating made him too big 😂 or the fact I was on clexane and aspirin for most of my pregnancy due to a previous late miscarriage ? Maybe my placenta was supported too well .

Anyway , thank you all so much , I am plodding on and hopefully we will get there ; will just keep an eye on nappies etc ( plenty at the mo , at least 8 very wet to soaking and 2/3 poos a day)
I have an appointment with a feeding coordinator tomorrow and a weigh in so we’ll see where we go from there x

Please try to remain as calm as possible. I felt a great deal of angst when BFing at the start after a very rough week and it was the worst thing for supply.

OP, sorry to hear about what you've been through. We had a not dissimilar situation - not as bad as yours, we didn't get sent to hospital, but we did end up in the topping up regime. I did read (but can't find where) that big babies can lose more weight at the start and that can be normal. But I mainly wanted to say you are doing great. I think it took about 2 months to get my supply back up, I took it gradually, didn't kill myself with pumping, but we got there eventually.