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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

HELP! Really struggling with breast feeding.

62 replies

missbumpy · 16/10/2007 20:52

My baby is 3 days old and at first she wasn't that interested in feeding (she'd sort of latch on and then doze off). Now she's more interested and she's got a strong sucking action and I'm in total agony The community midwife said that it should only hurt for the first 30 seconds or something but I find it painful throughout. It sort of feels like she's biting down on my nipple with teeth (even though she obviously doesn't actually have teeth).

My milk has come in today and my breasts are very engorged and sore anyway. To make matters worse, I think I've got a cracked nipple (not sure if she was sucking too hard or if it's due to a bad latch on).

I'm starting to feel like a bad mother because I can't feed my baby properly. I just feel so exhausted and I'm still so sore from labour and I don't know if I'm ever going to get the hang of this.

Can anyone offer me any advice or encouragement?

OP posts:
Littlefish · 19/10/2007 21:20

You'll crack it this time Pinguino One feed at a time...

I'm so glad you have another chance to try.

I know that part of my continuing guilt is tied up with the fact that dd will be an only child (due to fertility problems)

I'm sending you and missbumpy all my most positive vibes!

KindMum · 19/10/2007 21:28

missbumpy, I really recommend a book "Breastfeeding made Simple - Seven Natural Laws for Nursing Mothers". One of the 2 authors is on la leche league´s international board of directors, so the advice is sound.

In a nutshell they advise the following:

  • Use position where baby´s chest and shoulders are pressed firmly in a straight line against your body

  • Align baby´s NOSE to your nipple with baby´s head tilted slightly back. The baby´s lower jaw needs to land as far away from the nipple as possible. Then the nipple extends further back into the baby´s mouth to where the soft tissues are (feel for it in your own mouth, behind your hard palate). In this position the B isn´t chomping on your nipple causing you pain

  • Get the baby to open mouth WIDE. Help B move to and from the breast, touching you very lightly and wait for him to open wide. He will. DO NOT apply presssure to back of B´s head

  • When baby is ready gently push on his shoulders to ensure a deep latch on.

When B is on the breast and his nose is blocked, pull in his bottom closer to you to angle his nose away from the breast. With a very good latch B´s chin will be in the breast but his nose does not have to be.

Hope this helps.

pinguino · 20/10/2007 07:49

Littlefish - thank you so much for your encouragement. I think some breastfeeding guides you are given during pregnancy should be a lot more honest about how difficult it can be in the early days. If I had known that, I would have persisted. I don't think it would put off people who want to breastfeed but give them encouragement that difficulties can be overcome.

SharpMolarBear · 20/10/2007 08:05

Just wondering how you are both doing?

pinguino · 20/10/2007 11:24

Hi SharpMolarBear

Going a bit better today thanks as ds2 is less sleepy and it is also hurting less. Feeling more positive!!

BlueChampagne · 20/10/2007 12:36

Is there anyone out there who hasn't had some breastfeeding difficulties with their first? We had daily midwife visits for first week, worries about dehydration etc but now (8 weeks) getting along fine. Persevere - you can do it!

SharpMolarBear · 20/10/2007 14:19

So pleased to hear that pingiuno, hopefully it will only get better from now on.

Anonymama · 20/10/2007 21:27

Hi MissB and all struggling breastfeeding mums.

Yes, it is incredibly hard at the beginning and you are doing sooooo well to persevere. At the end of the day, if you decide to bottle feed, don't beat yourselves up over it - it is not going to ruin their future health and there are lots of other ways you can raise healthy kids (e.g. good diet once they are weaned, regular exercise) and have a strong bond with them. But if you can keep on going, then you will find it gets easier.

I remember sobbing my heart out one night at my mum's, after 3 bouts of mastitis and thrush in my nipples! Exhausted and in pain, and unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But bloody-minded enough to want to keep going - just. One night we had a bottle of formula ready at 11, but in the end I couldn't not feed the baby myself, I just felt so strongly about it. My DP was great in doing all the cooking & housework etc. so that I could sit and "be milked" every evening, and he totally supported the decisions I made re. the breastfeeding. I think if you really want to succeed in b/f you need that sort of practical and emotional support from your nearest and dearest. And it is true that if they start suggesting a switch to formula, that you are more likely to do so. So, when you are less tired, less emotional, and more clear in your own mind about what you want to do, talk to your partner and ask him not to "help" you by encouraging you to stop bf-ing - if that is what you want.

This difficult time will pass. Your baby is very lucky to have a mum who is making such a sacrifice on his behalf. Hope the last few days have been easier for you.

Anonymama · 20/10/2007 21:27

or even on her behalf!!

Original poster
missbumpy · 20/10/2007 22:09

Thanks everyone. Sorry I've been offline for a day or so. Good news is that a different midwife came today and she was great and made me b/f on the sore, cracked nipple (although it is starting to heal now). I was so scared as I think I've developed a bit of a phobia about DD feeding from that breast and making the cracked nipple worse. Anyway, she was really encouraging and actually latched her on for me and showed me how to do it and, although I can't say it was entirely pain-free, it was so much better than it had been before

I've managed another feed on the other breast since then and that went ok too. I also bought some more nipple shields because the m/w said the ones I had were wrong. I ordered some silverette last week but I don't know how long they take to be delivered.

Anyway, thanks so much for all your support and encouragement. The whole of the last week has been SO difficult (as well as miraculous and wonderful) and I've really felt like I'm cracking up but today is the first day when I feel like there might be light at the end of the tunnel

Thank you

OP posts:
lomondgore · 20/10/2007 22:28

Miss bumpy, glad you are feeling better about it today. I b/f dd1 for seven months but had similar problems to you with dd2. I tried and tried for almost 10 weeks and gave up as I couldn't take the pain anymore. I now wish so much that I had asked for more help, it saddens me that I gave up and I miss the closeness that breastfeeding gives you to your baby. If I could get my milk supply back I would.

Try to b/f on the sore side, I had so much of a phobia about feeding on the sore side that my palms would sweat and I would shake, sometimes cry at the thought of it so if you can get through that you can get through anything.

Your baby is so very lucky to have such a dedicated mum. Good luck with it, I'm sure it will get better soon xxx

Anonymama · 21/10/2007 21:08

Yep, well done you!! Keep us posted on how it goes.

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