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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

I am still feeding a 2.10 year old to sleep & I want to stop. She does not like it. Help.

31 replies

CappuScreamO · 16/10/2007 10:32

I know, I know, I have been a complete fool

it was just easier, I got into a habit of feeding her with the TV on in my room so I could have 5 mins of peace and then carrying her into her cot asleep

but now I think she is just too old for this and I want to read her a story and put her to bed like her sister.

But she just shouts 'I want a feed!' as soon as we start going up the stairs, faffs and does not look at book, and continues to myther about this feed till it comes. (she gets herself all ready with a cover round her )

She cries crossly if she is put to bed awake

We need to move her into a bed soon as well & I need to draw a line under this

and I know it is all my own fault but she was just so cute when she was little, watching her little eyelids flicker and drop

OP posts:
MeltingandScreamingIcarus · 16/10/2007 10:36

We started chaging things so Daddy was reading dd a story followed by a feed. No visible book to look at just rambling. The feed gradually tapered off as she would drop off while he was rambling.

She now goes to bed no probs with a story and tucked in.

I wonder if you fed her somewhere else first then a story this might work?

I was terrified but it tapered off really quickly.

oliveoil · 16/10/2007 10:39

well I think it sounds cute and if you want to carry on feeding her to sleep, you carry on

however if you want to stop, then I would suggest dh/dp takes over the bedtime routine

maybe you do a feed then he takes over to do a story? Then one night he takes her up first to do a story without a feed, see how it goes?

morningpaper · 16/10/2007 10:40

tee hee!

I have just started putting my 2 year old to bed by herself without HOURS of cuddling.

She has actually been MUCH better at it than I thought. Basically I explained what was going to happen to her, then discussed it with her big sis so that she wouldn't get upset with any crying. The first two nights she cried for HOURS (ok it was about 8 minutes. But it seemed FOREVER. I popped in every couple of minutes to explain that I was just in the study (room next door)). The worst part was when she was crying for her big sister to cuddle her! Poor big sis! ANYHOO after a night or two she was fine with it. She prefers it if me or DH sits on the end of her bed so for the last few nights we've been doing that and she has just lay still or played quietly with her dollies while we sit there (reading our books! It's quite pleasant).

What do you want to do first? Get her in her own bed or get her to sleep without feeding?

Will she be sleeping in her own room or with her sister?

At this age, it won't be as bad as you think.

oliveoil · 16/10/2007 10:40

x posts (great minds etc...)

popsycal · 16/10/2007 10:41

has to be a different person putting her to bed
ds2 was similar

morningpaper · 16/10/2007 10:42

p.s. You have not been a fool at all. She's had a lovely chilled out bedtime routine with mummy. Now you want to change that a bit. That's all. You've got nothing at all to feel bad about.

oliveoil · 16/10/2007 10:42

dd2 always wanted me to cuddle her to sleep and I used to lie on our bed and then carry her to her cot asleep

I would lie there SEETHING thinking ffs this has to stop

6 months later was still doing it...ha

What worked with us was, I used to put her into her cot, read her a story and then say "I am just going to the loo/hang up washing/look at the wall, be back in a minute"

2 mins of whinging and then she would fall asleep herself

Celery · 16/10/2007 10:43

I would start making changes gradually, so that she slowly gets used to the idea of going to bed without being fed. Perhaps start by not having the television on, then start feeding her in a different room. Gradual changes that move you towards your eventual goal of her going to bed awake without a feed.

Is she in a bed or a cot? When my DD moved into a bed, we used to lie down next to her and give her a cuddle until she went to sleep, but the bedtime drink/bottle was done in a seperate room before hand. We still give her a bed time cuddle, but leave before she drops off now.

oliveoil · 16/10/2007 10:44

yes I agree, MP

you have not been a "complete fool" you numpty

popsycal · 16/10/2007 10:44

oliveoil - i do that too,,,
'just going to check on ds1/put some clothes away in my room etc'

FrannyandZooey · 16/10/2007 10:44

We did the same Capp, and gently weaned him from it when he was 3. I used to feed him then lie with him for a bit and cuddle and kiss and say very special loving things for a while, then go downstairs for a bit. He would call a lot and we would go up and lie with him for a bit more, then go down again etc. Eventually he would nod off. Can you negotiate? Don't be too annoyed about it - it is hard for them to change the way they sleep, but she's getting to the age or near the age now where it will be possible for her to do it. One thing I considered was buying a very super special exciting kind of light. Like a lava lamp or one of those tanks with pretend fish in, and ONLY let him have it on, when he was in bed, by himself, with us downstairs. In the end I didn't need to use it, but I think it might have helped.

hoxtonchick · 16/10/2007 10:51

oh i am liking these ideas. i sit with dd 'til she goes to sleep (she's 2 and a quarter). i would very much like her to go to sleep by herself, but she's in a bed so she would bound downstairs in seconds. franny's special light sounds lovely.

oliveoil · 16/10/2007 10:54

dd2 still wakes up in the evening "for a cuddle mummy"

I go up, give her a cuddle, find her teddy and lie her down

then I kneel on the floor and put my head on her pillow and say night night

then she sleeps through (mainly, although still in our bed a couple of times a week)

I have resigned myself to the fact that she is a COMPLETLEY different sleeper to dd1 (fab) and that if I get cross she still wakes up so I may as well pretend to find her sleepy face cute and go along with it

she usually times her evening wake up call to the start of a good tv programme or MN time or something like that...

hoxtonchick · 16/10/2007 10:56

same here oo. ds is dream sleeper, goes happily off to sleep by himself after a story (can't remember what he was like when he was 2 though...). dd howls at the top of the stairs. my mum was babysitting the other night & she started systematically throwing toys down the stairs as grandma didn't respond fast enough .

Original poster
CappuScreamO · 16/10/2007 11:02

she is very stroppy though

she is criminally stroppy

would changing the routine at the same time as getting a bed be a good idea do you think

or would that be Too Different

I agree maybe dh could do the story; he usually looks after dd1 but it takes him longer

he has to actually read her a story with real words - whole chapters - rather than tiredly pointing at the tiger who went to tea and reading the 120 words that make up the entire book

OP posts:
hoxtonchick · 16/10/2007 11:04

same in our house capp, dp races through chapters of harry potter with ds. me, i recite the hungry caterpillar with my eyes closed....

morningpaper · 16/10/2007 11:04

I would probably get the new bed first - you can nurse lying down IN her bed so her bed becomes the new nice warm sleeping place.

Then after a week or so swap night-time dutires with DH, so you read to dd1 and DH sorts out the small one.

hoxtonchick · 16/10/2007 11:05

oooh yes, get a proper single bed, not a crappy toddler bed (i almost did myself an injury contorting myself into dd's bed to feed her).

Original poster
CappuScreamO · 16/10/2007 11:05

oh these are all good ideas

and now I don't feel so bad about watching tv instead of doing a proper bedtime routine

it was "a lovely chilled out bedtime routine with mummy"

(who was watching Dr Who repeats or Smallville and arranging pillows so that the 2 year old didn't see the monsters)

OP posts:
sfxmum · 16/10/2007 11:06

reading with interest here. my dd is 2.4 and since the summer has been regularly dropping the night feed and has gone for a week without it before.
she is also ok going to sleep if I am not around.

but if she wakes up during the night I still get calls for 'boobie milk'

Original poster
CappuScreamO · 16/10/2007 11:06

oh god yes hoxton single bed

they are not having new beds again till they get married

OP posts:
oliveoil · 16/10/2007 11:07

The only people I know who do a Proper Bedtime Routine are in books

my friends all have there weird and wonderful ways of getting them off to bed

anything that gets you some sodding peace is fine in my world

oliveoil · 16/10/2007 11:08

their

I am on a MN break btw, can you tell?

I only came back for my writing thread for dd1 and you hooked me back in Cap, grrrrr

Original poster
CappuScreamO · 16/10/2007 11:16

oh olive tho it's lovely to see you

you are one of my faves

OP posts:
TwigorTreat · 16/10/2007 11:21

I think you are all bloody saints personally

the thought of having to sit with a child whilst it nods off fills me with dread ... far too much cutting into my evenings

you're all very nice mummies

give yourselves a pat on your backs

(I bribed DS at 3 to give up a nightime milk bottle with a gift of his choice ..he had to go 7 days and then throw them in the bin and then he got a very special gift .. maybe you could bribe your child? although of course you'll have to adjust the 'throw mummies boobies in the bin' bit because that would be odd)