I am still feeding a 2.10 year old to sleep & I want to stop. She does not like it. Help.

[CappuScreamO]

I know, I know, I have been a complete fool

it was just easier, I got into a habit of feeding her with the TV on in my room so I could have 5 mins of peace and then carrying her into her cot asleep

but now I think she is just too old for this and I want to read her a story and put her to bed like her sister.

But she just shouts 'I want a feed!' as soon as we start going up the stairs, faffs and does not look at book, and continues to myther about this feed till it comes. (she gets herself all ready with a cover round her )

She cries crossly if she is put to bed awake

We need to move her into a bed soon as well & I need to draw a line under this

and I know it is all my own fault but she was just so cute when she was little, watching her little eyelids flicker and drop

oh Twig I agree entirely

I can't be bothered with the sitting

the reason I have been doing this is cos I know she is off in 10 mins

if dd1 wants anything after lights out I just shout 'shut up now'

[bad mother]

oh yes bribery is good

I give mine Maltesers for breakfast if they are very good going to sleep by themselves etc

as a word of caution though: DS asked for a slide and we said 'no darling that's too big' and spent a lot of money on a Little Robots lego kit instead... we wrapped it up presented it to him on the 7th day .. he tore open the paper with glee, grinned and said "Wow mummy ...... am I having this whilst I wait for my slide?"

hence large red slide in garden

I went away for the weekend when ds was 2.5 and left dh to put them to bed for 2 nights, when I came back I refused to feed which was then much easier as he had 2 nights without me feeding him to sleep (during which he gave dh no trouble because he knew dh could't feed him. I'd tried to stop for several weeks before that and just couldn't but that worked. I still sit and read to him in a dimly lit room for half an hour until he gets sleepy, though.

You are a lovely mum... Far from being a fool that took the easy way out.

All of the suggestions on here sound brilliant! Variations on our theme here too:

DS 1 was the only one to give up the last feed on his own and that was only because he was and is a book worm. He fell asleep during the umpteenth book one night when he was 21 months old and I tried the same thing the next night and was surprised that it worked. He only asked one time about a week into the 'plan' and I told him that here was no milk left and he just asked for another book.

DD1 Sounds much like your dd. She was criminally stroppy and would even demand to be fed at all hours of the night until I convinced her at 2.5 that at night we all needed to sleep. I used to bore her with endlessly repeating: mummy is sleeping, daddy is sleeping, ds1 is sleeping, dd1 wants to be sleeping. Once that was sorted we moved her into ds's room and dh took over reading books to both and she eventually fell asleep for him and slowly forgot the feeding routine. We did have a few nights of tears (hers and mine) but no screaming and dh was very patient with her.

DS2 would have fed to sleep FOREVER but I needed to be away for a few days to help my mum after a major op. so I started to read him to sleep and when this failed, I would take a night-drive and then carry him up to bed. I felt like a pathetic mother for making up excuses to be driving about and thought it might last forever but to my surprise, one evening ds2 declared that he would rather just go to bed than go for a drive.

DD2 (19 mos) is a nightmare ALL night long from midnight but rather oddly, she has nearly always fallen asleep on her own (but only in her push-chair) . When she is tired, I simply ask her if she wants to go to sleep and she races for the Techno XT by-passing her dusty cot and her new 'big-girl' bed in the process.

Sorry for the novel. I wanted to illustrate that there are many people in similar situations with less conventional routines whilst also offering some suggestions.

If your family is happy with the situation (however unconventional) then don't change it. When you do need a change then do whatever works. It is ridiculously cliche but the grow up so quickly that they will be walking down the aisle or pacing the halls of the maternity ward expecting their own babies before we know it!

We still haven't got around to any type of bedtime routine for DS2 ( 19 months ). The two older ones go to bed at sevenish, and then he still comes downstairs with us and spends the evenings snoozing ( or not ) on our laps. I think it's because I spent too long faffing around with DD upstairs in the evenings, and it's so much nicer to plonk myself on the sofa and watch TV.