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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Feeding Crisis

27 replies

Davo73 · 13/10/2007 21:06

I don?t know if you get many messages from blokes but I?m really desperate. My partner and I have a 10week old and feeding has got steadily worse since birth. We are now at crisis point. He will not take a bottle and we?ve been trying him (feeding same time most days) since 4 weeks old. He has taken a max of 2ozs at any one sitting but usually it?s less than that with most spat out. The thing is we really need him the bottle now as for the last 4 weeks he?s lost his latch and is really hurting my partner (she regularly cries through the pain of feeding). We don?t know where to turn as two breast feeding counsellors and the health visitor have been unable to help ?their advice is keep practising! We daren?t go cold turkey and basically starve him into accepting the bottle as he has a blood incompatibility thing going on resulting in jaundice so we have to feed him as much as possible in order to flush the jaundice out. We need to either get him to regain his latch to stop hurting my partner and/or take a bottle to give her respite (mental and physical).

It?s making our whole lives a misery as my partner is now in constant pain during feeding and is mentally dreading it constantly and we just don?t know where to turn ? please help.

OP posts:
blazingsandals · 13/10/2007 21:10

There are actually quite a few messages from blokes here don't worry

If your child is taking less than 2oz you need to get medical help. Obviously it would be better if the latch issue could be sorted out but as you say you can't afford to wait to get it resolved. It could be something as simple as reflux. Have you been referred back to a paediatrician since birth. Go see your GP and ask for an urgent referral.

What is his weight like?

Littlefish · 13/10/2007 21:11

Davo, I'm really not experienced enough to help. You need Tiktok or some of the other experienced breastfeeders.

Just keep adding a new message every so often if you don't get a reply soon.

I think people are off watching the rugby, but they'll be back soon.

Hang on in there. You will get lots and lots of support here.

spookthief · 13/10/2007 21:14

When they have said "keep practicing" is your partner able to have a comfortable feed while they're there? If not, doesn't sound like practice will do it! She needs to keep going back and asking for help - make sure it's from someone who knows what they're doing. You'd be surprised how little knowledge some HV/midwives have so don't assume.

Has she tried feeding in different positions? Lying down?

Are you feeding your ds formula in the bottle? Is it the formula he's objecting to do you think, in which case maybe expressed milk would be more acceptable, or the bottle? If the bottle, sometimes you have to try several types. Also try the milk at different temperatures - cold, room temp, warm.

Sorry if you've tried all the above, just wanted to respond.

JacOLantanne · 13/10/2007 21:19

Davo - if you're desperate and can't wait for advice here you could try here. There are quite a few breast feeding counsellors there and probably at least one on-line at the moment. You should post in Breastfeeding 1 if you want advice

morocco · 13/10/2007 21:25

also just bumping for you really
were the bf counsellors from the nct/lll/abm (there is another one as well i think, i've forgotten the name ) or were they less qualified? you need a proper bf counsellor to speak to if at all pos.
have you tried cup feeding with ebm? did that work at all?
you say he is 10 weeks and has lost his latch for the last 4 weeks - does that mean it was ok before that? has anyone checked for thrush symptoms as a source of the pain for your wife?
there are some great bf supporters on here who i'm sure will have some ideas to help

feeble · 13/10/2007 21:25

If your still around I have done some breastfeeding training and have fed 2 of my own I could try and help?
Fi

gingerninja · 13/10/2007 21:28

Hi bumping for you. You will get some good advice here. I suffered terrible pain for about 6 weeks and cried at every feed because I couldn't get the latch right. I didn't have any breastfeeding support though so was doing it blindly. But it did get better and I fed for almost 10 months after that. Tell your partner to take it one feed at a time and try and help her relax as much as possible. Deep breaths

feeble · 13/10/2007 21:46

just as an afterthought in case you pop back its worth finding out if there is a breastfeeding support group in you area as they can be a lot of help with this kind of thing (including getting them to take a bottle if thats what you want) try www.thebabycafe.co.uk they helped me, or some of the larger organisations.
Fi

blazingsandals · 13/10/2007 21:49

Also Davo, between feeds, apply Kamillosan if she is sore. Or get gel pads to put in her bra to aid healing. If it is a latch issue, she needs help from a woman who has breastfed and who can actually stuck around during feeds to help - I had the experience where MW just plonk the baby on and then leg it and of course when the baby comes off you are left floundering unable to get them back on again.

Sounds like he's nipple feeding though not breast feeding, really big gawping mouth is what you need. If your child can't open his mouth wide it may be worth seeing a sacro cranial therapist (a type of osteopath). DD was unable to open her mouth wide and ours sorted it in one visit and feeding much improved.

weepotion · 13/10/2007 21:51

bump

kiskidee · 14/10/2007 03:20

It sounds like it is vital that you (or she) gets in contact with a Breast Feeding Counsellor from one of the 4 voluntary Organisations as soon as possible. The persons who have called themselves Breastfeeding counsellors which you mention in your opening post do not sound like real bfc at all.

Here are the phone numbers for all four organisations and they do take calls on Sundays too.

Association of BF Mothers 08444 122 949

Breastfeeding Network 0870 900 8787

NCT supporter line 0870 444 8708

La Leche League 0845 120 2918

As these counsellors work from home and fit in around their own schedules, if one doesn't get you through right away, then try another one or ring back.

I see that you said 'crisis point' a counsellor will help you sort out your feelings and not push breast or bottle at you.

The pain sounds like she has problems with latch as you have already said. I don't think you are awake now but will post a few links shortly.

kiskidee · 14/10/2007 03:41

here are some videos. also look at the lists of handouts available on the site.

http://www.sdgp.com.au/client_images/18166.pdf here is a description of a good latch. I hope you find it useful.

Is there any other information you can share with us that happens during and after a feed in order to give a clearer idea of what may be wrong?

kiskidee · 14/10/2007 03:41

http://www.sdgp.com.au/client_images/18166.pdf here is that link

kiskidee · 14/10/2007 03:42

argh!!

SharpMolarBear · 14/10/2007 07:50

just bumping - hope you can get this sorted

Davo73 · 14/10/2007 08:36

Many thanks for all your help people - I'll chekc back in later. Any more help appreciated.

OP posts:
liath · 14/10/2007 08:47

Nipple shields can be useful as a temporary help to stop feeds hurting so much while you're waiting for help to sort out why there is so much pain.

kiskidee · 14/10/2007 11:05

Dave, i hope that you and dw have contacted a helpline but in any case, here is another common possibility of the problems you are facing. thrush

also look at www.kellymom.com and search the site for 'thrush'

absandme · 14/10/2007 12:20

Get hold of a breastfeeding counsellor. I had major problems at beginning & contacted the NCT & had a miracle worker, she was ace...!

Once the latch is sorted the painful nips will ease. Air time is also good for painful nips. After a feed make sure your good lady doesn't put her bra back on straight away, 10 minutes will do or if she forgets the wet patches on her top will remind her to put bra back!

It's a big struggle to sort out a latch problem on your own, books and internet can help but help is there through the nct or le leche league etc & the releif of knowing you will be getting it sorted is amazing, even if you have to wait a day or two to get to see someone you'll all feel better knowing help is on its way.

With trying the bottle, is she expressing to keep milk supply up? Also expressing may help a little with painful nips, it may hurt a little but not as much as a latch.

Is she using breast pads, it may be a change in make/type of breastpads may also help painful nips.

Let us all know if you get an appointment with a counsellor, like I say, they are worth their weight in gold!!

tiktok · 14/10/2007 13:32

Davo - I am so sad to hear that the comments from the people (HV and bfcs) is to 'keep practising' No good at all.

If your little boy is still jaundiced at 10 weeks then this is a medical issue....are you sure this is really the case?

I am reluctant to comment on this, as I need some clarification on this. Your son must be surely under the doctor for such long standing jaundice?

Davo73 · 14/10/2007 22:19

Firstly I?d like to thank you all for your questions/answers and most importantly support (especially links and numbers).

I?ll to try answer the questions you?ve asked:

He did feed well prior to dropping of latch, since then he gained 10oz in week one of problems, 6oz in week two, 10oz in week three but only 1oz last week although he had had his injections and a little snuffle. He?s due to be weighed on Tues and we feel he?s put weight on but we?ll see.

Talking of crap MWs the first one we had visit us at home said breast fed babies don?t get wind!

Anyway, we thought a reflux maybe the cause but that was ruled out along with thrush as he (and mother) have had medication to rule that out.

We don?t know if he?s still jaundiced (although we think not due to his colour). We will find out from 23rd Oct as that is his consultant date. If he?s over it then we can try and push him a little further between feeds at night (he wont go further than every 2 hours during the day ?unless he?s in the car). But the longer he goes the longer the birds? nipples have to recover (she in using a nipple cream called something like Lansinah?). she is using nipple pads too.

I am actually typing this slow time with the little monkey on my shoulder by the way. And the mrs has read and taken all your responses on board. I?m sure it feels a little better now we?ve sought help and realised the support (this board and professional) is there.

She has used nipples shields but they kept falling off.

The breast feeding counsellors were both LLL, the NCT never rang her back.

We do make sure the milk is at room temp and have tried Cow and Gate and breast milk ? he has an equal dislike to both! We?ve used a couple of different bottles are now scared that the small amount of progress we?ve made on this bottle will be lost if we change bottle as it may confuse him.

What we are going to do is try another breast feeding counsellor and give the NCT another chance, plus try some other bottles (forgot the maker?s name) and give the nipple shields another go too. Although, we are going to stop trying with the bottle so as to concentrate (and maybe stop confusing him with the choice of both breast and bottle) on getting the latch right. We?ll also try the different feeding positions as we haven?t done that.

Ta again folks. any more views greatly appreciated?..

OP posts:
JoanWilder · 14/10/2007 22:27

bonjourno davo and bird!!!!

congratulations on your little'un,
I bf my dd until she was 1, and I was in utter agony at the start as my crappy MW never explained latching on
All the books/advice in the world melt away when you look at that little bundle!!

my dd ate every 1 and half hours day and night for a long time.
she was slightly jaundiced at first too, they told me to get her in the sunlight by a window? dont know if thats a diff. type of J. tho.

to bird . .have a glass of wine and keep trying to BF, squidge your nipple between your fingers and squeeze the whole thing into baby's mouth, wait for the mouth to be open really wide before putting it in
the baby doesnt know how to bf either, you are learning together.

It does get easier, but to cope I kept telling myself 'Ill just do it till the weekend' 'just another few days' and so on and it slowly got easier.

lansinoh is the best, and pads, I never tried shields.

loads of hugs to all 3 of you xxxxxx

JoanWilder · 14/10/2007 22:30

good feeding positions...

bird lies flat on her back, you lower baby down onto nipple, if he's hungry he will root for it and grab on

bird sits up propped by pillows and has his head in her right hand feeding off right boob ( this takes precise pillows)

Jackstini · 14/10/2007 22:31

Davo - you could try a pair of silverettes for your partner, they are the absolute best at healing sore or cracked nipples [http://www.breastfeedingheaven.co.uk/index.php?act=viewProd&productId=2]
If she wants to give nipple shields another try a bit of vasaline smeared on the side next to her skin stops them falling off.
Good luck and let us know how you get on

Jackstini · 14/10/2007 22:31

sorry - missed a bracket off my link!www.breastfeedingheaven.co.uk/index.php?act=viewProd&productId=2