How can I trust midwives etc re breastfeeding?

[KindMum]

I would like to bf DD2 when she is born, failed to do so with DD1, basically because of my ignorance and lack of support from midwife staff. Each midwife I did ask for help gave conflicting advice or advice that I have subsequently learned is plain wrong. How do I go about getting off to the best bf start when DD2 is born?

I would find out if there is a breastfeeding support group in your area. start going before dd2 is born.
find out the numbers of local breastfeeding counsellors, so that if you do have any problems you are ready to contact someone.

Let your family and friends know of your intention to bf. Their support will help get you off to a good start. Good luck

oooh. I dont know, but hunkermunker, tiktok and mears are always close to hand here to help.

I'm sure they'll be along in a minute.

Thanks for replying. Also have problem that I live abroad, and don´t speak the language (same problem last time round). This doesn´t help matters. Most women here also FF, don´t know anyone to turn to for advice. The local "support" group meets around 7 times A YEAR. There won´t be a meeting for a few months after DD is born!

This is probably a bit inflammatory but my advice would be don't even bother talking to the midwives. If they ask you if it's going well, say yes and smile and they won't say anything else.

Then get your arse down to a breastfeeding support group like fingerwoman says as early as you can after your DD2's birth. Even if it feels like it's fine, they can help you finetune your latch, practice different positions etc.

If you're really determined and you have the right support, you have a really good chance of it working out this time.

Good luck

oh bugger x post. Is there nothing provided by the hospital? Or could you go before your DD2 arrives?

There is a website called Kellymom (can't do links, sorry!) which has a realm of info on bf. It's always being recommended on here.

first of all kindmum, what is your partner's /dh's view? and the rest of your family? their help and support is vital for the success of bf ime and imo.

oh, blimey, yes i can see how that would be difficult then. where are you?

the LLL can email you with help, and as a previous poster mentioned, there are mw's and bfc on here who will help you if they can.

i would read as much as you can - get informed. this is a fantastic site and there's also kellymom. IMO, there's also a lot to be said for having as natural a birth as you can (not always an option i know!) and having your baby passed to you as soon as she's born for immediate skin to skin. this should kick off the hormones and get the baby rooting.

good luck!!

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Kellymom is your friend . Seriously, do some reading now about what's normal/what's not normal, common pitfalls and ways to tackle them etc.

Also Dr Jack Newman - have a look at his Breastfeeding Myths factsheets. They should give you some ammo incase you get bad/misleading advice from those who should know better. He's also got some good videos on latching etc which I found more useful than written descriptions or diagrams.

Partner supports bf, no problem. Won´t see any other family for months so not relevant : ( I have read a few books on bfing so have exploded various myths etc. and know what should happen and what I should do. Most worried about the pain, which was awful last time. I have some of that lansiloh cream which people on this forum seem to think helps. Do nipple shields help the pain as well? Anything else I can buy to help facilitate things?

Thanks for your help!

I know this is not relevant to kindmum, but can I please put in a good word for midwives? I had fantastic help in establishing breastfeeding from mine (community and hospital - and HVs too if it comes to that). They're not all completely useless!

Check out The Baby Cafe for a BF support group near you.

Trust in your instincts.

Call the NCT BFing support lines if required.

Use MN to its full advantage.

Read Kellymom

I struggled with BFing my DS for six weeks five years ago. If I had known about certain resources rather than being dependant on my keen but not very knowledgeable HV, I would've mastered my problems and succeeded.

I'm now into week 19 with my DD and although it hasn't been easy, I've known where to access the support I need and have gotten over the hump...thanks in no small part to the advice of tiktok, hunker, moondog et al...

I found it much easier in the early days this time around than I did before, and knew that the problems, when I had them, were resolvable, having read up on threads here avidly before DD was born. I also took my time getting back to normal this time around and relaxed and babymooned for over a week in bed before getting up to face the world.

Give it a go, you may be pleasantly surprised, and you have nothing to lose but your baby has everything to gain

Good Luck xx

There was a thread recently showing a YouTube video of a woman givinhg her baby its 1st bf.

Again, can't seem to do links (thicko emoticon), but think it was under

'breast and bottle feeding: another video to make us go aah!'

Great idea re videos and like the look of those links, thanks didn´t know those sites.

I´m planning to dedicate the first few weeks to establishing bfing but don´t know how long DH will get off work : ( Then I will have DD1 to take care of..

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policywonk, can I reiterate your comment re midwives. My community midwife was instrumental in bringing the first baby cafe to my area and is a trained BFC and was very helpful in the early days.

Also the night MW on the post-natal ward was fab....I was in for four days after my section and she gave me a great deal of support, encouraging me to buzz if I needed to feed DD, and getting cross with me when she saw my light on if I hadn't buzzed.

This is lovely to watch

Agree with Pruners, read, read and read some more. Kellymom's excellent and there are some very good links from it.

How far abroad are you? Could you still ring UK bf helplines?

And get a sling - invaluable with an older child to take care of, imo and ime. I think if I was getting another one, I'd get one of Claire Scott's slings - the close baby carrier but I've also used a Hug-a-bub and a ring sling successfully.

ahh, well that complicates things. You need to find out if they have any local breastfeeding counsellors, or similar and as pruners suggests take someone with you who does speak the language to translate (am assuming your dh does, but maybe not?)

nipple shields- don't go there. can make things much worse. it's best to go with the flow and only introduce aids if absolutely 100% necessary

DH doesn´t speak the language : ( Apparantly, the bf counsellor at the hospital has left and has not been replaced.

What are the disadvantages of nipple shields?

KM - been looking around for you and found this. i heard Diane Weissinger speak on saturday at the LLL conference, and she talks so much sense! anyway, there's some excellent topics on there that might answer a few of your questions!

KindMum, what country are you in?

First and foremost, get it on your birth plan, it is important that you get skin to skin with your LO as soon as feasible, this is fine for csections too, I had a csection with DS and fed him about half hour after they sewed me up. I had to be very clear about not wanting him to have a bottle though.

If your baby doesnt feed straight away try not to worry too much, they dont always, dont worry, and say 'argh, baby ahsnt had a feed, s/he has been here 3 hours, must be starving, cant do it, give it a bottle' It's more likely baby has just been born and is bloody tired!!!

Also, you may be surprised, my midwife sat with me for about 2hours from 3am to get my latch right, and after that I had no pain, except for the mastitis, but thats a different matter!

they're just unnecessary. Baby should find it easier to latch on without them. plus, if you start using them it can be very difficult to stop, and if you plan on feeding for a while that could be quite frustrating.

obviously if you're suffering badly from sore/cracked nipples then they can help, or if baby is having a really hard time latching on then they can sometimes help too. but IMO it's best not to interfere with the natural porocess unless you absolutely have to