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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

B/F in public, does anyone know what the legalitgies of it are????

99 replies

GoodGollyMissMolly · 10/10/2007 10:17

I am due my first LO on the 12th November. I really want to breastfeed, and dont fancy the idea of having to express before I take LO out so that I can still feed LO.

Is it illegal, like idecent exposure or is it legal to be able to whip my norks out and feed as and when LO is hungary?

I'm asking this so that if I am approched and reprimanded by someone I know my rights and the legality of it and tell them in no uncertain terms to fark off.

OP posts:

moondog · 10/10/2007 19:40

SharpMolarBear · 10/10/2007 21:32

Maybe they avoid art galleries and the Sun

SharpMolarBear · 10/10/2007 21:33

moondog, let me know when & where you're next feeding and I'll come and make a comment. Just don't hurt me too much, please.

LoRayningNewtsAndFrogs · 10/10/2007 21:44

I think one of the mothers on B.U.B actually said the first place she breastfed was an art gallery, as there were breasts all over the place!

Original poster

GoodGollyMissMolly · 10/10/2007 22:02

WOW, so many replies (this is my longest ever thread )

I really want to thank you all for sharing your advice and experiences. It has made me feel alot less worried about BF in public. This is why I love MN.

OP posts:

scarybee · 10/10/2007 22:06

Just remembering back to my first public bf on another thread (think it was probably started in support of this one!) it's a good idea to practise feeding discreetly or however you feel comfortable before you go out. I was really anxious about it and if I'd had a dummy run beforehand (I never bothered doing my top up around the house!) it would have been much easier.

It's great

SofiaAmes · 10/10/2007 22:13

My dh had children by previous relationships that were not bf. When I was pregnant with ds, I made clear that I wouldn't even consider not bfing. Dh was very worried about people seeing my breasts and made up all sorts of rules about where and when this bfing lark was going to take place...basically resulting in it happening in a closet in the attic in his imagination. Then, ds arrived and I started bfing and dh started wondering when he was going to have to do somethng (having been the major night waker with his other 3).....he very quickly realized what a good deal this bfing thing was for him. And proceeded to encourage me to bfeed whenever and wherever ds required it (including builders' cafes and building sites) as he didn't want me to get discouraged and give up (not that I had any intention of doing so) and make him do all the work once again. He is now a major proponent of bfing and goes around telling all his friends and relatives how foolish they are for not getting their partners to bf.

Original poster

GoodGollyMissMolly · 10/10/2007 22:22

Good idea Scarybee, will be doing (many) dummy runs before going public More so that I can feel comfortable in myself.

SofiaAmes, lol at your DH, suddenly changing his mind when he didn't have to do too many night times with your LO.
My DH is very Pro BF (Aww Bless). I must admit that early on in my pg the thought of BF worried me. I kinda didn't want to do it, but having thought about it and with DH's support I have decided to go for it. I want to try as hard as I can. I realise it doesn't always work that way, but lets hope .

OP posts:

LoRayningNewtsAndFrogs · 10/10/2007 22:33

Molly, it's also a good idea to get some 'easy access' type tops, I had a lovely wrap cardigan I used to wear over a normal top so I could lift my normal top and keep the wrasp cardi over my belly, I found I actually exposed way more of my stomach than my boobs!

Original poster

GoodGollyMissMolly · 10/10/2007 22:40

Thank you Newtsandfrogs, I have bought two BF tops so far and tbh I have yet to try them on. I suppose I will find out if they work at not showing much once I have had LO.

I saw somewhere, may have been the internet or a mag, that you can buy a shawl type thing that you use to cover yourself and basicaly the baby goes underneath it. Dont think it would be very practical in the summer mind, too hot.

OP posts:

LoRayningNewtsAndFrogs · 10/10/2007 22:43

A simple chiffon scarf is just as good, I ahd a gorgeous poncho style thingy for DS but soon became too hot to wear it and would just carry a thin scarf in my bag, just incase.

SofiaAmes · 10/10/2007 23:20

I ended up using regular bras and tops. Just made sure that the top could be lifted from the bottom. I found that tops that were accessed from the top (ie unbuttoned) were too revealing.
Some of it will depend on how your child feeds. My first fed all the time and held on for dear life, so it was a bit of a wrestle to get him off, and it was easier to do that underneath a top. It also took two hands, so I never did function too well with the nursing bras that required unhooking. Got so that I could push up bra and top and shove ds on the breast all in one motion with one hand. Wish feeding him dinner now was that easy (he's almost 7 years old)

SharpMolarBear · 11/10/2007 07:36

I just still wear my maternity tops. They're easy to pull up and baggy enough to cover my tummy while feeding (or if they're not I am in blissful ignorance)

theUrbanDryad · 11/10/2007 09:37

GGMM - good on you for deciding to give it your best shot! if you need any advice, then MN is onen of the best places to come IMO. there are a couple (at least) bfc who will answer a lot of queries. also, one thing that i found useful, was the baby cafe (i always go on about this!) - if you've got one nearby drop in and have a chat! they love to speak to pg ladies, and they love seeing teeny newborns as well!!

Original poster

GoodGollyMissMolly · 11/10/2007 10:35

That looks really good Dryad, unfortunatley there isn't a cafe near me, but I have taken a look at the links that the site provides and they look really informative.

OP posts:

theresmoretolifethanmotherhood · 21/10/2007 16:56

There are lots of places with feeding rooms, and I am sure no-one would dream of criticising if bfing is done subtley in public. Be aware, though, in our multicultural society, that many people may be offended - there are religions, for example, have their women covered up head to toe. We have to respect them as well.

tiktok · 21/10/2007 18:06

I'm curious, theresmoreto life. Why do we have to respect people who object to seeing a mother breastfeed in public?

Why would we have to respect that attitude, any more than we would have to respect people who object to seeing black people on a bus, or disabled people in a restautant, or a red-haired person eating, or someone with poor dress sense, or unfashionable shoes.....

If people do not want to see someone breastfeeding their child, they don't have to look! It's not up to the mother to stop what she's doing.

It has nothing to do with religion, or people's cultural preference to cover up with a burka.

JacOLantanne · 21/10/2007 18:18

I agree Tiktok, and anyway, from what I've read, BF in Muslim countries is far more common than it is here and therefore shouldn't be a problem.

knifewieldingtoddler · 21/10/2007 18:23

why doesn't the moretolife person step out from behind her virtual burka and post under her usual MN name?

She obviously knows too little about bf and islam to make any reference to either. lol.

haditfortheday · 21/10/2007 18:24

theresmoretolife.... I think you will find that the vast majority of mulitcultural religions are far less offended about women breastfeeding in public than some white middleclass people.
Goodgolly- it certainly isnt indecent exposure or anything like that so when you are confident go for it- I personally think its lovely to see women out breastfeeding their LO.

theresmoretolifethanmotherhood · 21/10/2007 18:50

Very good points, tiktok. And you're right, I am in no way an expect in either Islam or breast feeding, I just wondered if it was something we ought to consider.
I'm not quite sure what you mean by 'usual mn name'. I only have the one!

PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 21/10/2007 18:57

Friend was asked to stop BF in an Asda cafe (three years ago now), she complained and got a decent wodge of Asda vouchers and the staff member recieved a severe reprimand.

When baby is new and still feeling a bit like I cant face a fight (not my normal default setting you understand LOL), I have been known to use a light pramsheet or blanket so i dont have to worry about privacy etc and can focus on latch and feed. After that point though, only comment i ever recieved was a postive one gfrom a member of the local travelling fayre community who clearly realised I was a bit nervy (BF with ds1, now 7.5, not going too well) who amde a point of coming over to tell me how well I was doing and what a great job I was doing for ds1. Now, turned out BF wasnt possible with him (allergies) but that kindness has stayed with me, and helped me BF ds2 and ds.

Good luckn with the baby and BF

purpleduck · 21/10/2007 20:02

I used to bf in very public places, with a militant look on my face...i think people were frightened tbh!!

DevilishDonna20x · 25/10/2007 07:42

When i 1st started bfing in public i got quite abit of negativity BUT i always fought my corner. A woman once said to me 'cant u go do THAT in the toilets so we dont have to see it' i just turned round and said 'well yes, ill be more than happy to, If YOU go eat your lunch in the toilets too' just be careful though and dont do as i did. Some old lady was staring at me whilst i was feeding and i had a right go at her. Turns out she was really pleased to see a young mum bfing!
The positive comments ive had do weigh out the negatives tbh. Now dd is 10weeks and i love going out to bf. It does take abit of practise trying not to flash all your bits but you will get there! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and enjoy the experience of bfing!

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