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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

B/F in public, does anyone know what the legalitgies of it are????

99 replies

GoodGollyMissMolly · 10/10/2007 10:17

I am due my first LO on the 12th November. I really want to breastfeed, and dont fancy the idea of having to express before I take LO out so that I can still feed LO.

Is it illegal, like idecent exposure or is it legal to be able to whip my norks out and feed as and when LO is hungary?

I'm asking this so that if I am approched and reprimanded by someone I know my rights and the legality of it and tell them in no uncertain terms to fark off.

OP posts:
lemonaid · 10/10/2007 12:47

Am at ironing baby's clothes at all, let alone re-ironing !

Spend your time drinking nice hot cups of tea instead. It'll be months before you get a drink that's more than lukewarm again...

mamijacacalys · 10/10/2007 13:03

Have a DS and a DD and have bf both in most public places - cafes, museums, parks, even a funfair - and never received any -ve comments. In fact generally the opposite, usually just got smiles and standard 'what a cute baby' statements.
But I had the 'fark off I am perfectly entitled to do this' reply prepared just in case of any negativity, the same as the OP.
DD currently 15 mo and still bf....
MIL recently asked when I was intending to stop and I replied 'when DD wants to' .

lemonaid · 10/10/2007 13:44

Other good response to "when are you intending to stop feeding him/her?" is a puzzled look and "in about five minutes, when he/she's full..."

Not that anyone's ever asked me (except DH, but he wasn't trying to insinuate that I should have stopped already so he escaped unscathed).

MadamePlatypus · 10/10/2007 13:55

With a bit of practice, you won't be exposing your breasts at all. I am on baby number 2 and was in a cafe with friends today. I was wondering how my friend had got her 1 year old to go to sleep on her lap while she chatted when I realised she was being fed. I am breast feeding myself and have been surrounded by breast feeding for 4 years and my first assumption was that she was just cuddling her baby.

(This example also shows how great breastfeeding can be when you are out and about and want your baby to be occupied for a while).

Mungarra · 10/10/2007 15:56

I've breastfed everywhere - restaurants, shops, buses, trains, when visiting my former workplace - and no one has ever complained to me. I would tell them where to stick it if anyone did.

I was once breastfeeding in front of a line of tourists at the Alhambra Palace in Spain. A woman in a security guard uniform walked over and I thought she was coming to tell me off. It turned out that she was pregnant and just asked about the baby. That's the only time I thought someone was going to tell me off.

You're not really exposing yourself. Your breast is covered by clothes and the baby's head. You could always use some kind of shawl if you feel embarrased. People, who 'don't know where to look' really should just look elsewhere.

sep1712 · 10/10/2007 16:14

i have breast feed my 3dc and only had 1 problem whilst out. Unfortantly it was with my 1st ds so could have put me off but gladly it didn't.
My mother and i was having lunch in Woolworths. Four older women were sat at the next table tuttin and sighing in my direction. My mum asked them if i should just let the baby cry and go hungry? There reply was 'why don't you just stay at home with your baby'. Well my mum exploded! pointing out all the facts of p/n depression and all the benifts of breast feeding. All from a women who did b/f me!
I b/f everywhere but do feel sorry for people who don't know where to look. Try not to do it infront of dh mates, they go very red so i just disapear of they go and make tea!!!
Good Luck with the baby.

Original poster
GoodGollyMissMolly · 10/10/2007 16:22

Lol, I know Lemonaid, really sad aren't I, the worst is I usually only iron if and when it is needed, so I really dont know whats come over me

Mamijac, MIL's hey, what to do with them, although I must say my MIl is lovely, it's my FIL that would probably upset me, but I do tell him to fark off (under my breath)

Platypuss, mungarra, I'm really hoping I'm going to be able to BF without exposing any breast, but I am rather large in the norkage department, so not sure if it's gonna be possible. I was a 36 H before I got pg and am now a 40 K so a bit on the large side!!

OP posts:
Original poster
GoodGollyMissMolly · 10/10/2007 16:25

thanks sep, good on your mum, I know mine would do exactly the same if I were ever in that situation. It's awful that your mum should have had to point out the facts to them but some people are just downright rude.

This is why I want to know my facts before I go out with the LO and need to BF in public, this way I am informed and can make a rational argument, just as your mum did for you.

OP posts:
Judy1234 · 10/10/2007 16:28

If you want the law changed in England write to you MP. In June Ruth Kelly announced teh Single Equality Bill which will make English law like Scottish, I think.
news.independent.co.uk/uk/legal/article2651047.ece

mamijacacalys · 10/10/2007 16:32

GGMM - Don't worry about nork exposure - mine are big too - am about a 38H whilst bf, but as others have says you really don't really show due to clothing and baby's head.
MIL not really that bad - was just one of her rare flippant questions really, generally she is OK and get on fine with her .

bobsmum · 10/10/2007 16:38

gGMM - I'm a 34J when breastfeeding and I find it easy to feed without anyone seeing a thing.

I do all the unclipping of nursing bras first before lifting my top and make sure baby is in place so all I have to do is lift up enough top for baby to reach. The most anyone might see would be a flash of jelly belly, but certainly not boob.

I would pop a muslin cloth or cardi across my middle incase there was a gap, but otherwise it should just look like you're cradling your baby. In the early days if I was out with a friend or dh I would just ask if I was "ok" meaning was anything on show, and it never was.

I find with big boobs it's esaier to "reach" your baby than having to lift baby up to the height of a smaller cup size.

There are mums in my playgroup who have to lift their entire top right up in order to allow baby to latch on. And even then babies have to be held quite high to reach. Or it could be that the mums are just more relaxed in a playgroup than they would be with the "public"

It's great to be short and well endowed

I've never had any negative comments - only nice ones about babies generally.

Good luck

Original poster
GoodGollyMissMolly · 10/10/2007 16:47

thanks Xenia, would be lovely to have the law the sames as the scottish one.

Mamijac, it's nice to hear when people get on with thier MIL's, I have had my up's and down's with mine, but generally she is ok. MIL tends to give lots and lots of unwanted advice but I find that I now just nod along with her as I realise that she is only trying to help.

OP posts:
Original poster
GoodGollyMissMolly · 10/10/2007 16:51

Thank you for sharing your experiences bobsmum, I'm glad it is possible to feed when you are larger than most in that department. I know I wouldn't feel too embarresed (maybe a little) but I wouldn't want to embarres others around me.

OP posts:
LoRayningNewtsAndFrogs · 10/10/2007 17:03

I love the fact tha this thread made Xenia type 'suck their partner off'.

But on the real subject, I found carrying a small thin scarf in my handbag helped me feel better feeding in some places I would have felt uncomfortable, just a thought.

UrbanDryad, I too had people mention about feeding to me in Northampton, bloody cheek!

BabiesEverywhere · 10/10/2007 17:43

I get so cross when the English law writers decided to add 'discrete' and 'under 12 months' to the good Scottish law.

Of course women try and be discrete, who wants to flash boob around, but it should not be a condition of legal protection.

Also this gives many business a get out cause...she wasn't being discrete so I chuck her out of my shop. How can a breastfeeding woman prove her discretion whilst feeding.

Why limit breastfeeding laws to only protect young babies under a year right to breastfeed, when all the WHO guidelines suggest that children should be breastfed for a minimum of two years ?

Grumble, grumble

SofiaAmes · 10/10/2007 18:24

I fed everywhere and never had any problems. Never used bfing rooms. Often just sat down in the middle of a mall and did it. (Only place I ever had trouble was on one RyanAir flight. Won't ever fly them again even if you paid me.)

newgirl · 10/10/2007 18:27

i dont think a single person i know has had a personal bad experience - i heard about comments through the papers but thats it - hooray!

Judy1234 · 10/10/2007 18:44

LoR, similar sort of issue may be or may be not. A couple got done when they were doing that in a bank entrance at night because the CCTV was trained on them and the security guard got it on camera and reported it to Nat West and there were those two business people who had never met and she did it to him on a flight and they got caught. I think they were sacked by their employers for bringing the company into disrepute.

The interesting question is people objecting to what they know is happening - like a sweet little baby sucking on milk under a shirt (or a not so sweet little husband sucking on his wife's breasts under a blanket on a flight) - in other words the offence is what offends the people around which is a very imprecise thing.

Judy1234 · 10/10/2007 18:44

Oh and I would always have loved to be criticised for breastfeeding and I've never been stopped by anyone anywhere even 23 years ago feeding the first one.

LoRayningNewtsAndFrogs · 10/10/2007 18:54

I saw an argument about this on Bringing Up Baby last ngiht actually, Claire Scott's point about the people that have issues with seeing breastfeeding should really be the ones that have the 'problem' was spot on.

As for comments Xenia, I have had the rudest people come across me when breastfeeding, once on a bus (it was that or let DS scream for the next 15 minutes, which would they prefer?) and another on a bench in a shopping centre at which a mother whose darling baby was desperately trying to reach the teat of the bottle she had angled on a blanket to feed it, and wearing no socks/shoes or even a blanket in the middle of a snowy january afternoon, decided to tell me she didn't want her 'fella seeing [your] tits'

chipmonkeyPumpkinNorks · 10/10/2007 19:08

Lorayn, I hope you let her have it!

chipmonkeyPumpkinNorks · 10/10/2007 19:10

I was bfing on a train once and was convinced that a group of people were staring at me bfing. I sort of glared and carried on. Then I realised that they were all blind or partially sighted.

Judy1234 · 10/10/2007 19:12

I was on a train where someone said how lovely it was to a lady who was feeding. Do these people wear a blindfold when they go round art galleries if they find the thought of bf so disgusting. I wonder if there's a correlation between their being squeamish ion general about all things to do with the body as well.

moondog · 10/10/2007 19:15

Had nothing but nice comments in 3 1/2 years of feeding EVERYWHERE.

A shame really as I do love a good ruck.

chipmonkeyPumpkinNorks · 10/10/2007 19:18

A good ruck, moondog? I'd never have thought it of you!