Positive breastfeeding stories and advice?

[Marghe87]

I keep hearing and reading negative breastfeeding stories pretty much everywhere. Did any of you have a positive experience with bfeeding?
What tips can you share with a soon to be mum who is eager to make it work?
Thank you!

[quote MissBPotter]@ScarMatty I am sure op does not want this thread to turn in to an argument about breastfeeding- there are enough of those. I was expressing my opinion.

If you didn’t breastfeed I’m not sure why you replied to this one but that’s your call and best of luck with your next one- as you say the right support is so important - but it is my belief that society sees bf women as possessing an unusual skill (or even being rather strange) whereas In fact it is something the vast majority can do perfectly well as long as they get some support and help (as I also said in my post).[/quote]
Erm, I replied because OP was asking for advice, and my advice was to become well informed and seek good support as the lack of those 2 things meant I didn't breastfeed.

I am giving OP the advice I was never given and wish I had been.

Positive here too.

It gets easier and easier! As they get bigger and older they feed less often and more efficiently.

When I had DC1 I constantly heard 'it's a skill you have to learn' but to be honest I found it was more a skill the baby had to learn. Thinking of it this way definitely helped me have a more go with the flow attitude that in turn helped my baby, who didn't get the hang of it for a while, to learn...

I'm two months in. It's not hard as such, but draining, and sometimes I feel trapped? But I love feeding her, the worst but was when my milk came in, bra size got up to a 32 L, and rock hard, that was hard, the rest I've enjoyed, occasional pain and sore nipples but completely worth it.

I have two sons (5, almost 3) and I breastfed both past the age of 2. First time around I already knew I wanted to bf. I knew before I even was married that I wanted to and didn’t see a reason not to despite being discouraged by other family members.

I had a traumatic birth (sh*t consultants) with my first and the only thing I felt I had control of was how I was going to feed him. I honestly thought all I had to do was stick my nipple in his mouth and leave him to it. He didn’t have a tongue tie, but he didn’t open his mouth very wide so I had to press my nipple to his mouth quickly without him biting my nipple. There was a breastfeeding specialist making the rounds when I gave birth and I also talked to the health visitor the first week. I was worried since my milk hadn’t come in and I couldn’t see how much he was taking, but he barely cried, had wet nappies, and seemed satisfied. When he had his five day check I was utterly relieved when they said he has only lost an ounce and they told me that was really good for a bf baby. My niece who was about two weeks younger, 1.5 pounds bigger and FF had actually lost too much weight and needed more formula so loss of weight after birth can happen to babies regardless of what they consume. My milk came in late due to having an emcs and I did crack a nipple but after two weeks it was all fine. I had my son in the middle of winter so it was easy to stay inside. The worst thing I dealt with was engorgment but it was only a handful of times.

With my second, I had a VBAC and the moment he was out, held him to my chest and he latched in and started nursing away. He actually gained weight instead of lost it. Unfortunately, this was missed with his first check-up and they were worrying us about weight but then the next day it was pointed out that he had gained and hadn’t actually lost any weight since birth and he was perfectly fine.

I think my milk came in quicker because I had only stopped nursing his brother less than three months ago.

I will say that both nursed differently. My oldest was great. Even though he nursed every 2-3 hours hours like clockwork, he only nursed for 5-8 minutes. He was focused when it came to nursing. I could have happily nursed him to 3.

His brother was the complete opposite. He wasn’t like clockwork, but slept longer and also took ages to nurse because he constantly latched off to smile at you or got distracted. He also was a bit of a biter and by time 2 rolled around, I couldn’t wait to stop nursing him.

My oldest had formula a handful of times, but he either vomited, had constipation or refused to drink it. I couldn’t blame him though, the smell of formula isn’t great and neither is formula nappies. They are way smellier than breastmilk nappies by miles.

My youngest never had formula due to wanting to chance him having the same reaction as his brother. He did refuse the bottle but moved on to the sippy cup instead.

Overall, I found breastfeeding quite easy and hadn’t even heard of the struggles with it until I signed up for mumsnet. I did find it way better than having to deal with, buy, and carry around formula and bottles around. I don’t have a car nor drive so it would have been just another thing for me to carry. Also, the idea of having to make up a bottle in the middle of the night wasn’t appealing.

Am going to go against the grain here and possibly be told off but... I found lots of the 'lactation specialists', midwives, health visitors etc too much. Too many people diagnosing issues that weren't there, suggesting complicated positions etc. (For example, with DC1 midwife said I didn't have enough milk and after every feed I should express to 'trick your breasts into thinking you have twins'. All this caused was stress and wasted time and energy and money on a pump. Actual issue was too much milk and a small, ill baby. So I figured out I needed to hand express a bit to take initial force of let down off.). With DC2 I just did what felt right and took the time and space to work it out together. Didn't let all the specialists crowd in with there help and advice. I one hundred per cent see the value in the specialists and how much they are needed for support and advice for women. But equally, sometimes you need the space to figure it out between your boob and the baby, and I wish I'd had the confidence with DC1 to do this more.

I had two very different experiences... DS1 seemed to hate breastfeeding (cried a lot at the breast, took forever, never seemed satisfied but also wouldn't take a bottle so ended up BF to 15 months). I now suspect some kind of reflux or intolerance as he was also slow to put on weight, though I felt totally dismissed every time I suggested this. DD1 was an absolute breeze. Took to BF like a duck to water, fed so fast that the health visitor said she couldn't possibly be getting enough until scales proved her wrong! What I'm trying to say is... every baby is different and a mum can have a totally different experience baby to baby. I hope it goes really well for you as it is such a lovely thing when it works out. But don't beat yourself up if it doesn't, and be prepared to try again if you have other DC in the future. All the best to you!

Same here @andtellyouofmydreaming, I was asked every 5 mins if I was having any problems with latch etc, told them no all is fine thanks.
A midwife insisted on watching me feed so she could tick some boxes on a form. She grudgingly told me that latch was fine but my position didnt look very comfortable. Wish I'd told her to f off.

I found lots of the 'lactation specialists', midwives, health visitors etc too much. Too many people diagnosing issues that weren't there, suggesting complicated positions etc.

Agree with this. I had two health visitor tell me directly contradictory advice (HV1: baby should be feeding at least 20 min per side, not 10 in total. HV2: Baby is overweight and needs to feed less.)

I did find it really useful to go to a peer support / breastfeeding cafe type group though. Women with babies of a similar age or a little older. Plenty of advice but also different experiences and all based on the real world rather than the textbook baby. If you cant get to one in person maybe see if there are Facebook groups or similar. Just knowing that other women have been through the same challenges you have makes you feel much better.

I EBF my 4DC (after c-sections too) for a minimum of 1 year each.

It took me about 3 weeks each time to get established. It does make your toes curl in the beginning, and will do for about two weeks (IIRC) but I always used lots of lanolin (from pharmacies) and have myself time. After about 6 weeks, we were all set in a pattern.

Your baby will naturally lose 10% of body weight after birth. Don't worry. It's nothing to do with your milk supply. They won't feed much for the first day. It takes time for the baby to learn, as it will you.

I am non UK based and BF is very normal here, so I was not worried about doing it in public. H&M used to do some great BF tops, perfect for discreetly feeding.

It's a lovely, lovely thing to do for your baby.

Enjoy it!

Ps: invest in a good pregnancy/breastfeeding pillow. I bloody loved mine.

Oh, I agree that many of the so-called experts over complicate everything and cause you to doubt yourself (as they’re so sure you must need intervention).

I had the nursery nurse insisting that she needed to see me feed DS3 before I was discharged from the hospital. He’d been feeding the whole previous afternoon and night and o knew he was fine. She came along and told me how she knew his latch was good (I already knew if was but I was humouring her). The home visiting midwives and HV seemed more willing to just believe I knew what I was doing.

The excessive interference seems to be relatively new. When I had DS1 (back in 2000) I just got on with it with no specific advice or interference. It never occurred to me to think there would be any issue (there wasn’t). DS1 had, and still had, tongue tie but it had no effect on his ability to feed.

With DS2 (in 2009) a lactation specialist came round and rescued me from the ward (which was basically a prison where everyone else ignored you but wouldn’t let you out). She gave me some advice in helping DS2 to latch on effectively and the community midwives reassured me that his near constant feeding was actually fine.

But this time around everything about pregnancy, childbirth and afterwards has felt much, much more interventionist. And the whole cultural narrative around breastfeeding is that you should expect issues, over analyse it all and faff around with all sorts of equipment to catch milk/express milk/syringes for colostrum and so on. I think it’s a mix of the increasingly medical used attitude to childbirth (and the fact that obstetricians seem to have returned to the paternalistic attitude of the 1950s), social media causing anxiety and producing new issues to be solved, and the fact that companies have found a way to sell loads of stuff to breastfeeding women.

Positive story here but it's taken a while so you might have to persevere... my 7 week old has literally just worked out how to latch properly 🙄 so it's been a long few weeks of trying to make him feed from the boob (mostly unsuccessfully but with hours spent each time) but also pumping and sterilising as well to maintain supply and make sure he's fed. Now that he finally gets it I'm really glad I didn't give up, it's lovely 😊

I breast fed both of mine.
Never experienced any nipple pain or sores ever with either, I used to put Lansinho in after everything feed, gave the baby’s lovely soft lips 😂.
Wear 2 layers and a scarf when out so that you can feed if you’re out and about but honestly people don’t take any notice, it will just help you feel less self conscious.
It’s so easy, no faffing of preparing bottles or of running out if your out and when they won’t settle you can sit down with a cuppa and feed them, which is a good excuse to do nothing for a bit.
Keep an open mind, take all the advice and help that you get offered and give it a try.

I personally found it so easy that I accidentally did it...

I was planning on doing mix feeding, so a mixture of both before loving fully to formula, but baby refused bottles, and so I got strongarmed into doing EBF.

I gave bottles from a few hours old. In the first week, I often went 6-8 hours without outing baby on boob, because I was using bottles. I did all the things that will apparently wreck your supply and mean you can't bf, and here we still are 16m later, still feeding.

It wasn't what I personally wanted but it was pretty much pain free (some mild discomfort in the beginning, but more of a momentary pinch rather than anything more). I've literally been able to have her feeding, in a sling, at 6w old, whilst sprinting after her sister who ran off.

In the first 6 months, so fed like clockwork during the day, at 2-3 hour predictable intervals, for a maximum of 10 minutes at a time. During the night, and after that point she's been more snacky, but it was actually just really easy.

In terms of latch btw, you may need to read up stuff, go to bf groups etc, or equally, baby opens mouth, gets shoved on boob, and that's it. I was lucky that I was in the latter camp. Difficulty latching in the early days/weeks is common, but it's not inevitable.

I EBF both my children. It was easy and convenient. I had no problems with latching etc, and only 1 cracked nipple 😆
My boobs are now empty saggy sacks, but feeding was no problem for me.

EBF both my DD and DS, no problems other than they couldn't get enough of it, proper little boobaholics! I became a bit of a human dummy!
Had no issues woth supply or cracked nipples etc

Oh, forgot, I had mastitis a couple of times, but antibiotics cleared it up quickly. I didn't go to any bf groups or classes.
My first fed until just over 1 year and my second fed until just before their 2nd birthday. If it works great, but if it doesn't then bottle feed. As long as they're fed milk somehow, it's all good!

All positive here too. I'm just feeding my 8 month old boy twin - he's the second shift, already fed his sister before that Fed my eldest son until he self-weaned around 1st birthday. No issues with milk supply, even with twins. I love the convenience, the cuddles, the carte blanche to eat whatever I like. Yes, it's painful at first as your nipples will be tender until they get used to the sucking - use Lansinoh before a problem appears. I had a blocked duct once with the twins which was sore and red, but yielded to very hot showers and massage (and feeding strongest twin).

My advice would be to watch videos on YouTube before baby arrives to get an understanding of correct latch, feed on demand in the early days, monitor wet nappies and weight gain to make sure all is well (often well meaning people think a baby constantly wanting to feed means they aren't getting enough but it's often just that they are stimulating your supply). Good luck and enjoy your baby!