Positive breastfeeding stories and advice?

[Marghe87]

I keep hearing and reading negative breastfeeding stories pretty much everywhere. Did any of you have a positive experience with bfeeding?
What tips can you share with a soon to be mum who is eager to make it work?
Thank you!

I EBF my son for 8 months and loved it. It was so easy and convenient after the initial 3 weeks of adjusting.

Breastfed 2 children quite far apart in age for 10 months with no problems, easy peasy. My top advice would be to try feeding as soon as is possible after delivery. Also tweak your nipples a bit during pregnancy, it helps to stimulate milk production.

My girl is a champion feeder! Honestly been a lovely but very exhausting few months. I plan on feeding for 9 more months until she is weaned and onto food.

Though, she does refuse a bottle, so no breaks. Not a lot of people talk about bottle refusal, so if you do want a break occasionally, introduce a bottle of expressed milk consistently once your milk comes in. Don't wait until you're three months in and wrecked like I did. We struggle with get to her to take one.

I breastfed my 3 DDs for at least 12 months each and I loved every bit of it! It is painful for the first 2 weeks (ish) but persevere if you can.
Don't be disheartened if it feels like your LO is never full at the beginning; he or she will be cluster feeding (you'll feel like you've constantly got your boobs out!)
Otherwise, it's so much easier than bottle feeding. No sterilising, measuring, heating, carrying loads of stuff with you when you go out.

I'v 3DC, still breastfeeding the youngest. I'v found it really great. Top tips are:

• ask the midwifes first help in the hospital and again at home if you have any questions, in my experience they've all been great because they're so happy that you're giving breastfeeding a go.
• nipple cream, as pp have said there can be pain in the first few weeks due to baby working out latch and also just the constant feeding (which is usually totally normal).
• don't panic if baby loses more than 10% of their birth weight if they are having plenty of dirty and wet nappies. Sometimes it just takes a little longer for BF babies.
• laying down feeding is a really good position to learn.
• what you can pump isn't an indication of your supply, if baby has plenty of wet and dirty nappies it is good.

Positive here.
I really recommend reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.
Good luck

I had my first baby at 19 and I swear that breastfeeding saved our relationship- if I’d been able to hand him over for an extended period of time I’m sure I wouldn’t have bonded with him and become the close bonded mum that I did. It was bloody hard and he was nearly 10lbs so I was told he might need formula etc and I guess my stubborn teenage instinct kicked in and I was determined to prove everyone wrong. After the initial hard slog (which I think is a shock to the system regardless of how your baby is feeding!) of becoming a mum and the sheer relentlessness of life- BFing was easier- no bottles or cleaning or faffing. If you were out it didn’t matter how long for etc as you were all your baby needed. It made a bond that I’d not have had without BFing as it’s like a form of communication rather than a method of feeding- it’s not just about food at all and it solves all manner of issues like tantrums, attachment, separation anxiety, boredom, thirst, tiredness etc etc.
Have gone on to have three more children and have BF for a combined total of around 11 years plus which is bloody amazing...and the huge benefit I had not expected is extra sensitive nipples now which give a lot of very much non-child related pleasure! (Is that TMI?)... win win.
Plus the amazing benefits of baby in terms of immunity and development etc - it really is the best start possible for your baby. Tailored milk every single feed.

I breastfed both of mine for 1 year and 10 months and counting with no issues at all. I did not experience pain at any point. They did feed a lot at first but I took the opportunity to catch up with netflix. I miss the long feeds now mine LO is 10 months.

I couldn't breastfeed my son but I've been breastfeeding my daughter for 2 months now. Loving it. So much easier than bottles. So freeing to leave the house knowing I can feed her when hungry without packing anything. So amazing to quickly comfort her by feeding whenever she's upset... Its just so easy and simple.

My only advice is try not to worry too much about specific technique specific angles etc. Just wait for them to open their mouth wide and stuff as much boob in there as possible. You can squeeze your boob so it goes flat like a sandwich and this makes it more stuffable! Also nipple cream nipple cream nipple cream. Apply constantly!

Ok so one more advice... Night 2 they cluster feed like crazy to bring in your milk... Its normal just accept and embrace.

Just regarding your post about advice...

I didn't breastfeed but do believe with better support and knowledge I could have done. The midwives were useless, utterly useless.

With our next child, I will pay for a private lactation specialist/consultant who is available to advise me 1-2-1 and contact places like La Leche more to be better informed

I do believe you have a much higher chance of it being positive if you are armed with information and support

I was under the illusion that it 'just happened' and baby would come up and start sucking and milk would flow, but that is often very far from what happens

There are so many negative breast feeding stories around op and it really annoys me. The vast majority of women can breast feed but if you speak to many women they seem to think it is a skill unique to a select few! Ask your midwife for help at first - there should be a specialist midwife who can help - and get tips and advice before you start from nct or similar. Fed dc1 for 1.5 years (until I got pregnant with dc2) and then fed til dc was 2.5. Honestly soooo much easier than bottle feeding and I keep reading about all the health benefits that seem to be more and more being discovered eg the impact on gut health. Honestly it can be tough at first (eg days zero to maybe 5) and you might need someone to help (plus a supportive partner is so important) but we cracked it both times within a few days and it was a wonderful experience.

I think perhaps the positive stories don't get told so much because for those that struggle it can be disheartening and no one wants to make a new mum feel bad.

I did have a very positive experience, I had no problems and was very lucky.

Yep both mine ebf to 16 months. I loved the convenience of it...no need to fret about sterilising/right temps/running out of formula etc and it was basically nearly always the solution. Baby hungry? Bf. Tired? Bf. Not feeling 100%.? Bf Needs distracting/soothing? Bf etc.
My first had to go to scbu immediately after birth and it was almost 2hrs later before we had any skin to skin. I was convinced this would mean bf would be tough (having had all the 'golden hour' info at NCT). DD snuggled in, latched on and that was that. We both def got better with practice but it wasn't in any way a struggle
I do wish someone had told me that you are likely to have one breast which produces more milk that the other and that breast won't necessarily be the baby's favourite. (They do tend to have a favourite!) All the best OP

I haven't read all the posts (just yours OP) so apologies in advance as I will probably repeat things others have said!

I breastfed my son until shortly after his second birthday, and I'm very glad that I did. It was difficult to begin with because he had tongue tie, but I got the right support to resolve it (went to a few local breastfeeding drop-ins and was lucky to get it diagnosed, then paid privately to get it divided ASAP - got an NHS referral but didn't want to wait or travel). After the tongue tie was divided, breastfeeding became very easy and a lovely bonding experience. Personally I liked the convenience of breastfeeding and found it easier than having to buy, prepare and transport bottles of formula. Of course it meant that I was the only one who could feed him but my DH took the lead on nappy changing and housework so I think I got the better deal I did express a bit so that DH could give baby an occasional bottle.

It turned out that DS had silent reflux caused by CMPA - but his symptoms were mild while I was exclusively breastfeeding; they only became obvious when I went back to work and we started to mix feed (he had some formula at nursery when the expressed breast milk ran out). I went dairy-free and we gave hypoallergenic formula when needed, GP agreed to prescribe it luckily, maybe because we only needed small amounts.

If I hadn't breastfed and had given formula from day one, I think the CMPA and reflux would have been more severe and more obvious... so it was probably a good thing that I breastfed although I think CMPA and reflux are challenging however you feed!

Lastly, DS was a bad sleeper which was at least in part down to the CMPA/reflux, but once that was under control (when he was about 10 months old), we did sleep training and i stopped breastfeeding at night. That was a lifesaver tbh because I was so sleep deprived and had begun to really resent breastfeeding at night. It allowed me to continue breastfeeding at other times (morning, daytime and bedtime) without feeling resentful.

So I guess if I have any advice it would be that even if you choose to breastfeed, you don't have to do it exclusively (ie you can express and/or give some formula) and you don't have to breastfeed on demand 24/7 for an indefinite length of time... it's good to BF on demand in the early days when establishing supply but you don't have to breastfeed through the night until your child self-weans if you don't want to!

And I'm sure others have said this but just make sure you know the breastfeeding helplines, local drop-ins and support groups (if they're running F2F atm??) and reach out for help if you need it, the early days can be tough but worth it if you persevere.

@MissBPotter

There are so many negative breast feeding stories around op and it really annoys me. The vast majority of women can breast feed but if you speak to many women they seem to think it is a skill unique to a select few! Ask your midwife for help at first - there should be a specialist midwife who can help - and get tips and advice before you start from nct or similar. Fed dc1 for 1.5 years (until I got pregnant with dc2) and then fed til dc was 2.5. Honestly soooo much easier than bottle feeding and I keep reading about all the health benefits that seem to be more and more being discovered eg the impact on gut health. Honestly it can be tough at first (eg days zero to maybe 5) and you might need someone to help (plus a supportive partner is so important) but we cracked it both times within a few days and it was a wonderful experience.

I was one of those annoying/negative story tellers you describe, but it was through my own doing, it was because of lack of support from the hospitals and health visitor.

Getting annoyed does not increase breastfeeding rates, support and information does.

@ScarMatty I am sure op does not want this thread to turn in to an argument about breastfeeding- there are enough of those. I was expressing my opinion.

If you didn’t breastfeed I’m not sure why you replied to this one but that’s your call and best of luck with your next one- as you say the right support is so important - but it is my belief that society sees bf women as possessing an unusual skill (or even being rather strange) whereas In fact it is something the vast majority can do perfectly well as long as they get some support and help (as I also said in my post).

I would say it's different for everyone, but since you wanted positive stories:
I was lucky, never had any pain, cracked nipples or mastitis not even at the start (I was all prepared with my tube of lansinoh but never used it). DS latched on at 5 minutes old and we never looked back.
Not trying to play down the difficulties that other women have by any means, I really admire everyone who perseveres through difficulty.
But just to say sometimes breastfeeding IS straightforward

"The vast majority of women can breast feed but if you speak to many women they seem to think it is a skill unique to a select few!"

This is because there is nowhere near enough quality support for mothers who want to breastfeed.

A first time mother and baby can't always magically work out how to do it by themselves; often they need support from women who have done it and/or helped others before.

I really feel for the mother who want to breastfeed but struggle, don't get enough support, have to give up and feel that they have failed.

They haven't failed, the system has failed them.

Don't get annoyed at the women who think breastfeeding is too difficult. Get annoyed at the system that makes it difficult for them.

As someone else has said, I don't often talk about how easy it was for me because I don't want others to think I am boasting or taking credit for what probably comes down to luck.

Ask your midwife or HV if there are breastfeeding support groups in your area. Do you have HomeStart in your area? They sent me peer supporters to help. Don't be afraid to ask for help and be patient- it's a skill you and baby both have to learn. I had a terrible time with mastitis but I persevered and breastfeeding DD for 18 months was such an amazing thing that I'm massively proud of achieving

I breastfed DS1 (for a year) and DS2 (for 2 years). I’m currently breastfeeding DS3 (2 weeks old). I have found it a really positive experience each time with no problems feeding at all. I cannot imagine faffing about with bottles.

My advice would be to try to resist the temptation to overthink or over complicate it. It’s really easy to start over analysing everything and worrying and it does make things harder. Tbh, that probably transfers to all aspects of early parenthood - it’s so easy to worry about anything and everything.

Also make sure that your partner is truly on board and has properly read up on what breastfeeding is/involves. That way he can properly support you and won’t undermine your attempts.

There is loads of support available out there, so do seek it out. And don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

I put my newborn on my boob about 45 mins after birth. She latched herself and just seemed to know what to do. Initially the first 10 seconds of feeding were uncomfortable but I wouldn't call it painful. I used lots of nipple cream after every feed and they never cracked. Only tricky bit was on day 4 when she was hungry but milk hasn't arrived yet. I gave her formula from a syringe a couple of times them milk arrived the next day. I've since read it's a good idea to encourage baby to feed within the first hour of birth but I don't know how true that it and it's not always possible depending on how the birth goes.
I loved breastfeeding and was lucky that my baby seemed to know what to do.

@NameChange30 where did I say I was annoyed at the women themselves? I am annoyed at the system, and some women who loudly proclaim that breastfeeding is impossible etc etc. usually those who have never tried it.

Anyway please can pp stop jumping on my post, I have a right to feel annoyed and if you don’t like fine, I just wanted to give my experience to op.

I absolutely loved breastfeeding my son. I fed him for over 16 months and can honestly say it's my proudest achievement.

However, the first couple of months were very tough - physically demanding and exhausting. I had to persevere and stick it out so I would say if u want it to work you just have to try to hang in there somehow until they get a bit older and want to feed less.

If the baby is your first you get to watch a ton of tv so I just tried to turn the negative (sleep deprivation/ baby constantly feeding) into a positive and made the best of things. I got through so many box sets

Have the National bf helpline number on your kitchen notice board and never hesitate to phone them for anything. Even if you have no particular issue and just need to vent, they honestly don't mind and are happy to listen. Really helped my sanity. Just take any support u can get really.

Do lots of research (I read bf for dummies and watch lots of YouTube) and just try to prepare as best u can while pregnant e.g sorting bedside snacks.

Good luck!

I have loved BF, DD is 11 months and has never had milk from cup or bottle-100% breast.
The first 6 weeks are physically brutal and cluster feeding is HARD. But we have had no sore nipples, no mastitis (yet-still time!), no blocked ducts etc. Letdown hurt like hell though for ages.
I just surrendered to the constant feeding and didn’t try to do anything much else. DH fed and watered me and did everything else.

I was totally expecting it to fail, I had formula in hospital bag. But I had excellent support in hospital and opted to spend 3 additional nights in a birthing centre that offers postnatal support. That was absolutely amazing and I totally recommend it. Mumsnet is obsessed with going home asap-but staying in for postnatal care was vital.

Aside from the first few weeks though it’s been easy. No regrets here