Kittenbaby - I know you've been thorugh lots, including a difficult birth and both an HV and a Mum who have not been supportive, despite a baby who by all normal standrds he doing fantiasctically (as are you )
You say dd is feeding a lot in the evening. How much of this is real feeding and how much of this is her confort sucking? Ds used to feed for ages and ecentually realised that the latter part of his feed was just confort sucking. If I needed to get on and do other things (and my bum used to get sore 'cos I was sitting for soooooooo long) I used to try to pull him off and if I could do so easily, ie not have to "break" the latch, then my view was that he wasn't really feeding. If he still wanted to suck, then I gave him a dummy.
I don't know hwat your view is re dummies, but if you are otherwise OK with them and hadn't been giving dd a dummy 'cos you were worried about your dd's weghit gain, then I'll repeat again what many have alreasy said to you: your dd is doing great. You are doing great
I also found that expressing in the morning was more pordcutive, plus once ds started sleeping through, I maintained the late night feed as an express.
I hope you do manage to get things sorted. You have done really well to get so far with so little support. Whatever you decice, do what is right for you - you have already given your dd a fantastic start {{{Hugs}}}